- First Love -

Two weeks had gone by so fast. I was so depressed. On the day they were leaving, Kei knocked on my bedroom door at around ten. I remember it was a Saturday and their flight was at twelve thirty. He came in and had something in his hand.

"I want you to have this." He said. It was his nintendo game boy. He never let anyone touch it, not even me. He gave me his game and I automatically threw my arms around his neck. I was already crying. "I'll write you all the time, ok? We'll keep in touch." Kei tried to calm me down.

"Kei! We have to go!" Mr. Ichihara called from down stairs.

My hug tightened. But it was time to break it off. I hated time, making us do things we didn't want to do. Let go of things we didn't want to lose. I looked at Kei's green pools, and in a blink of an eye, he planted a kiss on my left cheek.

"Take care of yourself Sam." I could tell he was fighting his tears too.

Kei walked out of my room and the world fell into silence, except for the car doors and the engine of Mr. Kenji's car. I could hear it all the way to Pelican Drive. But the sound disappeared when they turned there. I hugged the game boy and lay in bed all day that day.

On Monday, I felt so out of place. On the way to school, it was just Daniel and me. In class, I was alone. I ate alone at lunch. I stood alone during recess. I cried alone in the bathroom. It was miserable. For the first time in my life, I hated being in school.

The next few weeks were unbearable. My parents tried to cheer me up, even promising a visit to Japan when possible. But the only thing that finally cheered me up was a letter from Kei. I received it about two months after he had left.

Hey Sam,

How are you? I hope you're doing good.

We finally settled in and I started going to school. I am having a hard time because I only speak a little bit of Japanese. I don't even know how to write it. But I got a tutor who is helping me. His name is Tanaka and apparently he is my cousin. He's four years older than me, so he goes to high school and he's really cool.

My dad wants me to start doing this traditional Japanese dance. It's called Kabuki. Apparently, my dad's family is very famous in the Kabuki community. I started training, it's very weird but I kind of like it.

Tokyo is very different. I haven't seen a lot of it, but everything is so different from Miami. I hope you can come visit soon, I think you would like it.

I can't wait to hear from you. Tell me what's new with you.

Love,

Kei

His letter made me happy. But as I read it over and over again, I felt sad. Kei hadn't said that he missed me, not even once. It was also obvious that he was having fun discovering the city, meeting new people, and even starting to learn how to do that Kabuki dance. I, on the other hand, have been really depressed and alone for the past seven weeks.

I didn't think it was fair. So I didn't write him back right away. I also didn't have anything exciting or new to share with him.

One Wednesday afternoon, I was lying in bed. I remembered that almost every Wednesday at five for the past four years, Kei used to have his piano teacher come to his house for his lessons. I used to sit at my window and listen to him play. At first, he was horrible. But his playing had improved a lot.

I stood and walked to my window, when I saw an unfamiliar object on the Ichihara front lawn. It was a 'For Sale' sign. My eyes widened. They were never coming back, I thought. This realization made me sit at my desk and write my first letter to Kei.

Hi Kei,

I'm good. I'm glad to hear that you are doing well. It's really weird not having you around. I feel so lonely and I miss you so much.

There is nothing new with me. But I just saw that your house is for sale and realized that you are there for good. I will definitely find a way to come visit.

Make sure you tell me more about Japan and your life there. Say hi to Jiro and your parents for me.

Take care!

Love

Sam

It was short, but I was satisfied with it. I sent it the next morning.

After that, we corresponded all the time. Every month or two, I got a letter from Kei. Sometimes I got one from Jiro too. We sent each other photos and postcards. Like for Christmas, or when I traveled to Colorado, or when Kei visited the city of Kyoto. It was so much fun. It felt like we were a little close even though we were thousands of miles apart.

In July 1999, Kei got internet at home. So, we started using our parent's email accounts to send each other emails. It was amazing because it was so fast. It only took a few hours to respond and get a response. It was mostly due to the time difference.

One time, Jiro sent me an email with a video of Kei practicing Kabuki. Kei would kill me if he knew I sent you this. He wrote in the email.

His dance was so stunning. It was perfect. He was wearing a long white outfit and a wig. Every step he took was perfectly in sync with the music. His moves were steady and elegant. It was breathtaking. I watched it over twenty times, I think.

Jiro did get in trouble when Kei found out he sent me that video. That's why, Kei opened a separate email account and used it. I started getting emails from two different addresses, one was Kei's and the other one was Jiro's.

On August 24th, I stayed up until two waiting for an email from either Kei or Jiro. I was hoping for an email from both of them wishing me happy birthday. But I got none. I was bummed. It had never happened before. I had even gotten a package the year before with my birthday gift in it.

I went to bed that night so upset that I tossed and turned for about three hours before falling asleep.

The next day, I slammed the letters on the keyboard and sent an email of disappointment to both Kei and Jiro. But I didn't get an answer. I checked my email every day for the following week. But still nothing. It was very strange.

A crazy idea went through my head. Maybe they were busy moving back to Florida. Maybe they had disconnected their internet and computer and packed it somewhere. They never said anything because they wanted to surprise me. I shook my head at the silliness of that idea.

On Sunday morning, I opened my email account, and there it was. An email from Jiro. My smile widened. I was very excited to open it.

Hi Sam,

I'm sorry about your birthday. It's just that something happened. Kei was in an accident

My eyes froze on the word accident. They wouldn't move any further. They just stared at the word and my heart stopped beating. My whole body felt cold.

Finally, I resumed reading.

He was on a motorcycle with our cousin Tanaka and the bike slid in the rain. He's much better now. He broke his left leg and had surgery to fix it. He also has a few minor injuries but he's doing well so I don't want you to worry. I'm sure he will contact you as soon as he can.

Take care, oh and happy belated birthday!

"He's fine, he's fine." I repeated to myself over and over again holding my head in both my hands.

My mom came into my room that evening. She had found out from Mrs. Ichihara late in the afternoon.

"How are you, dear?" She asked as she sat on the edge of my bed.

"Jiro said he was fine."

"Yes, that's what Amanda said too. So, he will be fine." I looked at her gentle face and couldn't fight my tears anymore. I bursted out crying in her arms. My mom didn't say a word after that. She just hugged me and patted my back.

Of course, I couldn't sleep that night. At around three thirty, I got up and turned on the computer to write to Kei.

Hi Kei,

I found out about the accident, your mom and Jiro told us that you were ok. But can you email me to tell me that you are fine? I am really worried. I can't sleep at all. I hope it doesn't hurt that much.

Anyway, feel better soon!

Love

Sam

After hitting the send button, I could finally go to bed and sleep. However, I didn't get a reply. So, a couple of days later, I sent him another email.

Hey Kei,

How are you feeling? I hope you're taking care of you body. Eat well to get better soon, ok?

I miss you so much. Please try to answer when you can.

Sam

Again. No answer. Instead, I got an email from Jiro.

Hey Sam,

How are you? Kei is finally out of the hospital but he has to rest and take it easy for a while. He is pretty mad that he has to miss school for a few months though. School has already started over here. When are you starting school?

I will try to take a picture of my brother when he's asleep and send it to you.

Take care!

I was so thankful to Jiro. The next day, he sent me a digital photo of Kei. He was in bed with his left leg suspended. He had a cast on his left arm and bandages around his face. He was covered in bruises. The sight brought tears to my eyes. Poor Kei. I wanted to be there with him. To take care of him. Make him heal faster.

For the following months, Kei never emailed me back. I only heard about how he was doing from Jiro. High school was tough for me. Not having friends was even rougher than middle school. In addition, puberty hit. I was still a tomboy, but now I was a tomboy with curves.

Jiro wrote me a few weeks later. He said that Kei was not gonna go to school all year because he was still healing. He said that he was really upset about it and that he didn't talk to anyone anymore. After finishing his email, I ran to my parent's room and got my mom's telephone agenda. I looked for Mrs. Ichihara's phone number and dialed it on the phone. I knew phone calls to Japan were expensive, but I needed to talk to Kei.

"Hai." Mr. Ichihara answered.

"Hello?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Ichihara, it's Samantha Martin."

"Oh hi Sam, how are you?"

"I'm good and you Mr. Ichihara?"

"I'm fine, thank you." He stopped for a second. "Did you want to talk to Kei?"

"Yes please." I didn't hesitate for a second.

"Ok, hold on a second." I could hear moving on the other side of the line, then a few muffled words.

"Hello?" Kei answered. His voice was a little different. It was deeper and more mature. It was the first time I heard it in the previous four years.

"Hi Kei."

"Hey, Sam." When he said my name, I couldn't help but smile. I missed him so much.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm ok."

"Jiro told me about school. I'm sorry to hear that." Kei didn't comment. "How long did the doctor say it will take for your leg to heal?"

"He doesn't know, he said." His voice was intense then.

"Well, I hope you can get better soon."

"Thanks." His answers were short. Lacking emotion. I was starting to feel nervous.

"You know, I sent you a few emails. Did you get them?"

"No, I haven't checked my email for a while, you know." His suggestive tone made me feel like an idiot asking him if he got my emails while he had one leg suspended in the air. There was a long silence. There was nothing else to say, I felt. I had to say goodbye, but I didn't want to. Kei didn't say anything either. He was there, silent.

"Umm, well, I'll let you go then. Feel better soon."

"Thanks." The call got disconnected right away and I was left with the dial tone.

I never called Kei again on the phone, and he never did either. There was no communication between us after that. I tried to convince myself that he was going through a lot.

Jiro, on the other hand, sent me emails every week. It was mostly about his brother, but he occasionally talked about himself. Like when he started practicing Kabuki. He wanted to be like Kei in every possible way. I could tell.

A couple of months later, I got the sorrowful email from Jiro.

Hi Sam,

How are you? I told you in my last email that we were going to the doctor to see how Kei was doing. Well, he said that sadly, Kei won't be able to dance Kabuki ever again. It's so unfair you know. My brother is so good at it and he loves it. The doctor said that Kei will have to use a cane from now on and that he can't do many physical activities. My brother is so depressed right now, he's not leaving his room. I don't know what to do.

Anyway, I will talk to you later, my dad is calling me.

Jiro's email shattered my heart. I just wanted to hug Kei. I sobbed for his fate for a while. I didn't have the courage to call him this time though. So, I sent him an email.

Hi Kei,

I don't know when or if you will read this email. But I just wanted you to know that I will always be your friend. I will always support you and love you. And if you ever want to talk or anything at all, just let me know.

Love,

Sam

That same week, I was walking down the hallway at my school and I saw a poster. It said on it that seniors could get a scholarship for an exchange program for one trimester. My eyes searched automatically and smiled when Japan was one of the countries listed. That was the happiest day of my life. Students had to speak the language of the country they chose though. And they had to have completed 95% of their credits before the last trimester.

That day, I decided that I would work harder in school and learn Japanese so that I could go for the exchange program.