100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(sixteen)

Of course, Yu Haiqiao couldn’t drink the bitter gourd juice I squeezed for him. He raised the cup and frowned and sniffed it, then put down the cup with disgust, and then continued instructing: "Forget it, peel an apple for me to eat. Bar?"

"Did you break your hand or your foot?" I glanced at the bitter gourd juice he put down.

Yu Haiqiao looked at me earnestly, very sincerely: "The work is very hard."

I smiled at him slightly: "It's also very hard for me to squeeze bitter gourd juice." I took the bitter gourd juice he put down and made an expression to him that if he didn't drink it, I would pour it into his mouth.

Yu Haiqiao tweeted twice and said that my face is evil now.

I said that what I will do next is also quite evil.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog, suddenly realized it, then stretched out his hands and covered his body under his coat. He blinked at me, looking like a disgusting person with a shy and timid appearance: "If you have to If you..." After two seconds, he asked me suspiciously, "Your aunt is gone?"

"..." I grabbed the bitter gourd juice on the table and walked quickly to the face of Yu Haiqiao who was collapsing on the sofa as if he was disabled. I contempt the dog/force contemptuously, and press his chest with my hands cruelly.

With the other hand raised, he was ready to commit domestic violence, regardless of whether he had to pour bitter gourd juice into his mouth.

Yu Haiqiao yelled several times, then raised his hand to surrender: "Don't don't, I'll drink it myself, don't get on the sofa, I don't want to smell this disgusting smell on the sofa for several days."

I hummed indifferently, let go of my hand on his chest, and reached out to pass the bitter gourd juice in the other hand to him. Yu Haiqiao sat up silently from the sofa, with a sign on his face. With an expression that seemed to have been ravaged, Zhang sniffed the bitter gourd juice in the cup like a dog.

I said coldly: "Give me a drink!"

He turned his head and looked at me: "Shi Ran, you are evil."

I was expressionless, trying to make myself serious like a judge in court.

Yu Haiqiao smiled at me. The innocent and cute smile made me reflexively fist hard. He blinked at me: "How did you feel just now?"

"?" I didn't react for a while.

Yu Haiqiao suddenly put the bitter gourd juice on the coffee table, and the person "shooed" and jumped in the direction of the bathroom. The voice still reached my ears: "I think it might be better than how you feel to A." Better, what do you think?"

"?" I was dumbfounded for about a second, and then ran away, "Fuck/Your mother, Yugou, wait for you to die, let me tell you!"

Yu Haiqiao jumped into the bathroom and locked the bathroom door. A voice came from inside: "I'm taking a shower. Don't just peek at me, a pure and innocent young man taking a shower~"

His ending also carries a slamming tilde! Why is he so cheap!

This was something that once made me feel very puzzling.

I am the same person as Yu Haiqiao, how can he grow so cheap when he eats the same rice and drinks water?

How could he be so cheap as this! !

I turned around and went into the kitchen. I used all the bitter gourd left in my refrigerator to squeeze the juice. After squeezing it, I still felt that it was not enough. I picked up my phone and started ordering the takeaway. I tried to keep all the surrounding ones that were still open late at night. I bought all the bitter gourds from my house.

When Yu Haiqiao came out of the bathroom for half an hour, the bitter gourd juice I squeezed was placed on our dining table. His expression paused when he walked out in a robe, and he turned to the bedroom very quickly, using it as he walked. In an innocent and lively voice like a mentally retarded, he said, "Oh, I'm so tired after a day's ride in the car today. I went to bed. Good night, my wife."

I myself have been promoted to the cold-faced Yama, and uttered, "Come here."

Yu Haiqiao continued to maintain his mentally handicapped personality: "I'm really sleepy, see you tomorrow."

I sneered loudly: "You come here!"

"..." Before the people from Yu Haiqiao arrived, he stood up with an attitude of admitting his mistake, very sincerely, "I was wrong."

"..." I stared at him blankly, trying to make this deterrent effect equivalent to waking up at night and opening my eyes to see the black and white impermanence standing by the bed looking at you.

Yu Haiqiao was unexpectedly stunned by my expression. He walked to the table with an expression that seemed to have eaten shit. He stared at the table full of bitter gourds earnestly, maintaining a 120-point attitude. Sincerely: "I was wrong."

I still looked at him blankly.

He told me seriously: "You are not right to A."

I rubbed my palms and sneered: "Do you think I won't let you drink them all?"

Yu Haiqiao gave me a very innocent look, "Then I feel bad?"

"..." If I compare Haiqiao's death ten years earlier when I die in the future, then I must have been short-lived by him in my life with him.

Yu Haiqiao probably saw my expression unpleasantly, and his face finally became serious. He said, "Okay, don't make a fuss, stop joking with you. Although I don't like eating bitter gourd, it's not good to be such a waste. "

I moved a stool and sat next to the table. Yu Haiqiao stood for a while and put on a very serious attitude: "Otherwise, I'll have a drink, OK, and then we go to bed."

He looked serious and serious about the client, as if his suggestions were very rational and perfect. I gave him a blank look.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog, forced a look at me and expressed his doubts first: "You are so fierce lately."

I sat on the chair and raised my legs, shaking my legs by the way, and said solemnly: "I think it's time for us to discuss our relationship."

Yu Haiqiao also pulled a chair and sat down, and quickly entered a serious state: "Which way to start the discussion?"

I am serious: "Do you think I am joking with you?"

He was also serious: "No, very serious."

I continue to be serious: "I can't stand your attitude of always gagging, you are irresponsible for anything."

He also continued to be serious: "Well, for example?"

I was cold and serious: "Do you still think I'm joking with you?"

He frowned solemnly: "No, very serious."

I hesitate: "For example..."

He was firm: "Yeah."

I continue to hesitate: "For example..."

He remained firm: "Yeah."

I paused for a moment: "Because I am very angry now, I can't remember an example for the time being in a hurry."

His eyes bend slightly: "Oh~"

I stared at him: "What does ‘oh’ mean?"

He smiled slightly: "I got it."

"..."

"..."

"I can't talk to you anymore."

"Don't~"

**

Yu Haiqiao sat on the chair next to me, squinted at me for a long time, and suddenly laughed in a low voice: "Want me to drink bitter gourd juice?"

I didn't speak.

Yu Haiqiao sighed: "Drink, chant, chant, chant." As he spoke slowly, he picked up a cup in front of him and took a sip of it slowly, just like tasting a peerless good tea. He put down the cup and held it in his hand for a while. Er, then look at me: "Okay, now tell me why you are in a bad mood lately, and take my breath away every day."

"Who will take you out of anger?" I baited him, Bai Wan reminded him, "If you drink at your speed, you won't be able to finish it tomorrow morning."

Yu Haiqiao raised the cup again and took a sip in silence. He pondered for a moment, transformed into a "Holmes Sea Bridge" and reasoned: "Because that little star who is not taller than one meter and seven can't grow well?"

"Huh?" What the **** is this crazy!

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "I think your recent state is not right. You are very disrespectful to your marriage relationship. You are either on the way of violent me or thinking about how to violent me every day."

"?" No, you Yu Haiqiao is the roundworm in my stomach, you know everything I think?

"You have repeatedly hit one of my abilities." Yu Haiqiao finished speaking and took another bitter gourd juice in silence.

"..." I feel right, Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, must remember this thing for a lifetime, and he has to come up with it from time to time.

"I cried inexplicably the other night." Yu Haiqiao frowned slightly.

"..." That was from a novel.

Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "I have known you for almost 30 years. How many times have you cried in front of me?"

I raised my hand to try to answer the question. I wanted to tell him many times that when I was young, I always complained to his mother if I had nothing to do. When I complained, I cried especially miserably.

Yu Haiqiao took a sip of bitter gourd juice and didn’t mean to ask me to answer the question. He pondered for a moment and concluded: “Shi Ran, you won’t be a student of PUA, please strike my self-confidence first, and then stand in front of me. Pretending to be pitiful and wronged, trying to deceive my body and mind."

"???" If Holmes knew that Yu Haiqiao had reached such a conclusion through layers of reasoning, would he just die under the waterfall with Moriarty?

Yu Haiqiao drank his half cup of bitter gourd juice slowly, and continued reasoning: "You still spread rumors that I am dead."

"..."

Yu Haiqiao asked me very seriously: "Do you especially want to be a widow?"

When I heard this, I had to say: "What does it mean to be a widow?" Is that what I understand? Does it mean that I have to stay a widow for him and not marry him for life? Ha ha.

Yu Haiqiao may have sunk into his spiritual hall at this moment, and has severed communication with the outside world. He said: "You squeezed such a table of bitter gourds, didn't you just want to kill me first and then drink me to death?" Yu Hai Qiao pondered for a moment, and continued, "Are you still going to the insurance company to give me a huge amount of insurance?" He looked serious, "The insurance company will investigate the deceased. It is impossible to deceive insurance with this method."

"..." I was amazed by Yu Haiqiao's increasingly sophisticated level of drama.

Yu Haiqiao drank the bitter gourd juice in the cup. He put down the cup, looked at me, and blinked, "I see."

I was surprised by his brain circuit: "What do you know?"

Yu Haiqiao said: "You have derailed your spirit, you are ashamed of our married life."

I sneered: "Would you like to divorce first?"

Yu Haiqiao grinned at me, revealing his small canine: "No."

I gave him a blank look: "Tomorrow Yang Xiongwei will come with his wife and say they want to have a meal together. I won't beat you up and I will go to bed."

Yu Haiqiao was silent for a moment, hesitatingly asked me: "Yang Xiongwei?"

I couldn't help but laughed twice: "Does this name explode as soon as I hear it?! Just the boy named Yang Wei in our junior high school class. He changed his name later. He used to have a crush on me..." Speaking of this, I suddenly thought of something naturally. I couldn't laugh anymore, and my face sank, "And you told him that I have that boy with stinky feet."

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/heard, laughed twice, and was very good at pretending to be stupid.

I pressed my finger angrily, then pointed to the bitter gourd juice on the table: "Give me another drink!"

Yu Haiqiao took a glass of bitter gourd juice and took a sip in silence.

I snorted and turned to go back to the room. Yu Haiqiao added behind me: "I will go tomorrow too."

"They didn't ask you to go for a woolen thread?"

"Who is not a junior high school classmate anymore, why can you go and why I can't go, in case you make a rumor with the junior high school classmates about me, why do you want to make a rumor that I cheat me? Go out of the house?!"

-Pooh.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/forcing someone the **** to make a rumor!