Confessions of a Salesman

Chapter 135

Katsuo said guiltily, "It's all my fault."

I smiled and said: "It's not a brother or a person, it's my sister, you are so charming, what are you thinking? If he competes fairly, I will respect him three points. If he comes to hell, we will use soldiers to cover it up. What's the matter?" Yes, barefoot, and afraid of wearing shoes."

I really didn't say this to give myself courage, but I have confidence, and I think the most old-fashioned saying is right: "The oblique cannot win the straight."

But soon, I felt that there was something wrong with this sentence. Looking at the plates and bowls on the table, my heart was shaking, and I thought that this meal is not a midnight snack. This is a wedding banquet. How much does it cost? money?Fortunately, there are rich people here.

After everyone was full, when paying the bill, I looked at Yaoyang, Yaoyang said helplessly: "My wallet is in the car, I have no money." Liu Sheng also said: "Don't look at me, I am the same .”

I had no choice but to look at Jiang Jiang and Xiaoxia pitifully, Jiang Jiang smiled and said, "I'm wearing a dress, where did I get the money?" Xiaoxia also said the same.

In the end, I could only pin my hope on Katsuo, Katsuo smiled and said to me: "I gave you all my 20, where did I get the money?"

I cried and said: "Among them, I am the poorest. I owe a lot of debts, and I have to pay the bill. If I knew this, I wouldn't bring you here if I killed you. It's supper here, and the two of you The one who eats and drinks, sits down and doesn’t leave, just eat a bowl of porridge, and calls this and that, thinking you two are paying the bill, this is good, it’s all on me alone. If I don't bring any money today, I'll lock you all here and take turns washing the dishes!"

Looking at the 500 yuan bill, I said fiercely: "All of you remember, next time whoever invites you to dinner, I will eat you to death."

They planned to part ways and go back to their respective homes, but Yaoyang and Liu Sheng said that they had just had a falling out with Liu Ziran, and it was not easy to go back to the hotel, and they asked me to find a place for them to live.I grinned and said, "BJ's relatives, are you bandits? You eat, drink, and live? You said that you two are worth tens of millions. No, who would believe it?"

After much deliberation, I still have to pay for them to find a hotel.Jiang Jiang said: "Why don't we all go back to the apartment, anyway, it's only a few hours, let's talk. You have to take us to the port tomorrow morning, so don't bother."

Before I could say yes, those two guys got into my toy car and they couldn't get out of it.I said eagerly: "Jiang Jiang, you are leading a wolf into the house, hey, you two come down, I can't fit in the car!"

I had no choice but to drive a car full of people to the apartment.

Once Yaoyang entered the door, it was like grandma Liu entering the Grand View Garden. This was strange, but also curious, asking questions.I mocked: "Hey, hey, do you still have to dig wells to fetch water in your village? Why are you so curious about everything? What era are you from?"

Yaoyang sighed: "Hey, I'm really old and can't keep up with the times. When I was decorating, I used the best for everything, but I never thought about using the latest one. Now it's just for viewing, it's not practical at all. , look at you here, you are so envious of me, I will change it when I get back, and change it all into this kind of design with a sense of technology."

I said proudly: "That's right. My room is too small. If it is too big, I will design a car that drives directly into the room, and then I can get on the kang after taking off my shoes. Make it so that you can reach out for your clothes, and you can eat and drink." Open your mouth, it's all automatic."

Katsuo said with a smile: "Just brag, you're just lazy, I've thought it through, after I get married, I'll be exhausted."

I pursed my lips and said, "You can pull it off, you can't even cook, and you don't know who is serving whom?"

At this time, I saw Liu Sheng was competing with my electric toilet. I stroked it with my hand, and the toilet lid opened automatically. After a while, the toilet lid automatically closed again, and there was a sound of flushing.Liu Sheng asked curiously: "Tell me, if I sit on it, will it close automatically? Doesn't it pinch my ass?"

I smiled and said, "This one has an infrared sensor. You sit on it and block the infrared rays, and it won't close. It won't close until you leave."

Liu Sheng said enviously, "Tell me this brand, and I'll install one when I get back."

Yaoyang smiled and said, "Don't install this in your courtyard, don't scare the old lady."

While talking, Jiang Jiang took out a bunch of snacks from the refrigerator, put them on the tea table with drinks and said, "Today we're here as a threesome, and we'll talk about the past and the present until dawn."

I asked curiously: "Where did I get so many things in the refrigerator? I remember that there seemed to be nothing except Katsuo's mask?"

Xiaoxia smiled and said, "I'm counting on you, we won't starve to death, and you didn't say to buy something to put in the refrigerator when guests came to the house."

I smiled and said, "It's not certain who is the guest and who is the host!"

Jiang Jiang said: "What's the matter with you, didn't you say that Qiang Qiang and Qiang Qiang are threesomes, can we talk about some high-level topics?"

I said disdainfully: "It's a threesome. Look at each of you. I think it's the Kangkang Food Bureau." After speaking, I looked at Yaoyang and Liu Sheng who were tearing off the packaging of snacks.

I said dissatisfiedly: "Hey, hey, I said you two are from the capital, why didn't you have enough food at home? How come you can eat so much after you come here?"

Yaoyang said with a smile: "Eat something from you, what's the matter? Don't talk about the region, we BJ people just eat delicious food, what's the matter?"

Jiang Jiang said: "When it comes to delicious food, you have to say it's from Cantonese."

Yaoyang retorted: "It's delicious for them. They dare to eat it. There is nothing on the ground except stools that they dare not eat. There is nothing that flies in the sky except airplanes that they can't eat."

Liu Sheng echoed: "Yeah, just say this bitter gourd? Who do you think was the first to eat it? Why are you so daring to eat it? You shed tears even after taking a bite. Don't think it's poison. Dare to cook, I am really convinced."

Jiang Jiang explained: "Many things have been studied by others. Maybe they first thought that loofah is edible, and gradually evolved into bitter gourd. They all learned by analogy."

Yaoyang nodded and said: "Jiang Jiang is right, he is a learned person, unlike some people who will mess around."

I said dissatisfiedly: "Why am I messing around? I said you are delicious, I praised you, and said you are particular about food. That time when I went to Brother Liu's factory, the old man who watched the door froze for Quanjude's roast duck. It’s like a man-han-han banquet. It’s a hype, and it’s good to eat it, but in the end, there are no tools, and it’s a joy to eat it with your hands!”

Everyone laughed.Liu Sheng said dissatisfiedly: "It's not authentic, you don't use dirty words when you swear."

I went on to say: "When it comes to the region, one side really supports the other. The water and soil determine the eating habits of the region. Like Sichuan people, they like to eat hemp."

Xiaoxia retorted: "Don't Sichuanese like spicy food?"

I replied: "You are wrong. People in Sichuan pay attention to the numbness of what they eat. Don't look at the red hot pot in Sichuan. It is not spicy, but it has pepper and Shujiao in it. This is the real numbness. Eat it in your mouth." Li, after a while you will lose all feeling in your mouth."

Katsuo asked: "It's not as serious as you said? I've eaten it, and it didn't feel so numb?"

I replied: "The Chinese prickly ash we ate was all reprocessed, and it only costs 40 yuan a catty on the market. The Chinese prickly ash is called tribute pepper, and it's all for the emperor. The expensive ones cost over a hundred catties. If you smell it, it will be so numb that you can't take care of yourself, of course, I exaggerated a bit."

Everyone laughed and said, "You can really blow."

I went on to say, "Do you know why Sichuan people like to eat hemp? That's because Sichuan people live in the basin area, which is humid all year round, and people are prone to rheumatism. Eat more hemp to smooth the air and eliminate rheumatism."

Jiang Jiang retorted: "You are lonely and ignorant. Sichuan Province spans the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, the Hengduan Mountains, the Yunnan-Guizhou Plateau, the Qinba Mountains, and the Sichuan Basin. Why do you just talk about the basin?"

I rolled my eyes and argued, "You are the one who is knowledgeable, right? I'm talking about densely populated places, most of which are in the Sichuan Basin. How many people can there be on the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau? It's not good to listen to books and refute them." audience."

Yaoyang said: "You are allowed to talk nonsense, and we are not allowed to raise objections? It wasn't Jiang Jiang who said that we were still kept in the dark by you."

I asked anxiously, "Are you guys listening? Why are you talking so much? Let me go on. Looking at the people in Hunan, I think the people in Hunan are really the most spicy people in the country. All the people are spicy, even in the biscuits." With chili. Dry spicy, without the slightest sloppy spicy, you can really enjoy the spicy taste. There is a standard for evaluating spicy, which is called Scoville hotness unit (SHU for short), which is based on Named after an American chemist, it is used to rate the hotness of peppers."

After finishing speaking, he looked at Jiang Jiang and asked provocatively.

Jiang Jiang opened his mouth and said, "This really fools you. The Scoville unit of spiciness is currently the most standard judge for evaluating the level of spiciness. The general spiciness is around 2500 SHU."

I immediately took it over and said: "What is Mongolian? I really know that there are incomplete statistics on the spicy index of Hunan people, and the average is between 3000 and 5000 SHU. This is beyond the reach of the people of the whole country. So, Hunan people can eat spicy food. Eat spicy."

Jiang Jiang asked thoroughly, "Then tell me, why do they like spicy food?"

I smiled and said: "The judge asked a good question. I just said that the Sichuan people are because of the geographical form. What about the Hunan people? Chinese sausages and bacon are mainly pork, and the amount of beef and mutton is relatively small, which leads to their heavy taste. Their salt intake is twice that of other provinces. Simply put, they have a heavy mouth. Of course, salty food cannot reflect the aroma of food. , so adding chili makes the dishes less bland. Of course, the climate is also one aspect.”

(End of this chapter)