i have a sword fairy

Chapter 584 The quiet face returns to the north, Ziyu cultivates himself

In the heart lake, Gui suddenly felt that Zhu Yourong had to say some things.

Sometimes Zhao Rong couldn't listen to what it said to Concubine Zhao Ling and Zhao Qian'er.

The only one who can really teach Zhao Rong how to do things seems to be Zhu Yourong.

It was the same when Zhu Yourong gave Xiao Xiao a head, it was the same when Zhao Rong wanted to die in the bamboo forest courtyard not long ago, and it is the same when he 'rebuked' Zhao Rong.

Moreover, Zhao Rong kept some things in his heart, and usually he would not tell them at all, and only in front of Mr. Zhu Da could he confide in a relaxed and unrepressed manner.

This should... be a confidante.

It seems that the relationship between the Peach Blossom Sword Master and the women he knows is not all love, but also a serious and reliable relationship.

The sword spirit nodded, and had a new understanding of the 'swordsmanship' of Peach Blossom Sword Master.

"Actually, I know all of this."

Zhao Rong lowered his eyes, stared at Zhu Yourong's jade hand grabbing his sleeve, paused, and let out a breath: "I'm just... a little depressed. From last night to now, I always feel a little depressed."

Hearing this, Zhu Yourong became more and more worried. Sometimes there is a huge difference between knowing a truth and actually implementing it, which is what the sages say is easy to do but difficult to do.

The same is true for sages, how can mortals avoid it?
Especially for a Confucian scholar like Zhao Rong who already has the unity of knowledge and action, the more he can do things in the past, the more he can unite his knowledge and action, then once he loses his temper, feels depressed, and doubts himself, it will be difficult to be pulled back.

Because he understands what others say, and he may even understand more than others.

In short, I know too much, subconsciously arrogant and difficult to accept other people's reasoning, I only believe in what I understand, and what I can't figure out.

So sometimes, a gentleman who is full of knowledge is not as good as an illiterate layman. At least the latter knows how to hold his beautiful wife and concubine, cherish and love him, and will not let go even if he dies, so why think so much?
Zhu Yourong's complexion softened suddenly, and he gently pulled off Zhao Rong's sleeve.

"Then Tzuyu, what are you upset about?"

The tone is soft, no longer serious and oppressive.

Zhao Rong didn't answer, but suddenly raised his head and changed his words, "You Rong, do you want to travel far away?"

Zhu Yourong nodded directly, "I have thought about it, and I have already done it. My home and the place where I studied and grew up are not in Wangque Continent. I have traveled to many continents, and finally came all the way here. I feel that the road I have traveled, see I have met enough people in the past, and I was tired, so I stayed in Linlu Academy to teach, but I didn't expect..."

"Didn't think of anything?"

She lowered her eyes lightly, "I thought that the people I met along the way had already been of all kinds, and there would be no more surprises, but I didn't expect to meet a very special person in the academy, and his character is also there."

Zhao Rong was taken aback for a moment, and immediately realized that she seemed to be talking about herself.

He suddenly felt a little embarrassed, coughed twice, and continued:

"Then I am very envious of you. You can read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, and you can find a quiet 'heart home', where you can put down a desk for reading and writing... I just passed by Wangque Island roughly. Half of the scenery, the roads I walked, and the people I met were still too few... I didn’t live the life I wanted.”

Zhu Yourong spoke softly, "Ziyu, what kind of life do you want?"

"Do I want the life I want..." he said to himself.

"Ah."

Zhao Rong was stunned for a moment, and a smile slowly appeared on his calm face.

This is everyone's smile when someone asks him the most cherished and most beautiful and happy thing.

"I want to leave everything behind and travel all the way. I only carry a small bookcase with my favorite idle books in it. I just carry it on my back and walk through mountains and water. If you ask me I don’t know where I’m going, I just want to go forward, go to all the places called distant places, leave a row of footprints, or a pile of bonfires that have been lit in the night... There is a road ahead, I will go If there is no way ahead, I will open the way. If I encounter the sea, I will stay at the seaside for a few nights. If I encounter a mountain, I will climb to the top of the mountain to watch the sunrise. If I encounter a river, I will go down the river on a bamboo raft. Next, if there are people, I will put down the bookcase and live there for a few days, chop firewood and fetch water in the morning, and read and write at night..."

In the darkness, in the dazed vision of the woman in Confucian shirts, the young Confucian scholar was lowering his head, while longing for a long journey, groping for the wall next to him, walking back and forth in the narrow and dark tomb passage.

He stopped and walked, as if with the vast sea in front of him and the bonfire in the night behind him, he was immersed in some kind of fantasy dream talking to himself.

Zhao Rong looked back and said with a smile: "There is no place for me to stay. I will leave when I want to go, and stop when I want to stop. If I am bored with a certain place, I will continue to walk with my bookcase on my back. If I fall in love with a certain scenery, I put down the bookcases and cut wood to make a house..."

Zhu Yourong listened quietly.

After a while, he slowly stopped talking, as if he realized that he was now in a dark and narrow tomb passage and a depressing life.

The light in the man's eyes and the smile on the corners of his mouth went out. He raised his head to look at the top of his head, and whispered a certain sentence from the book: "Whatever the heart wants, follow the past, life is like a journey against the road, and a reed will sail."

After a while, Zhao Rong lowered his head, returned to normal, and said to Zhu Yourong, who was looking at him infatuatedly:
"These... are the thoughts that have been buried in my heart. Sometimes I think about it when I am bored, sometimes I think about it when I wake up in the middle of the night, and sometimes when I am doing serious things on a serious occasion, I will suddenly think about it... This kind of life, It may be naive and ideal... But in fact, when I just woke up after drinking a certain glass of wine, I wanted to do this. I felt that the world was big and everything started again. No one has nothing to restrain me, and I can go wherever I want Hey, go travel around the Xuanhuang Realm..."

In the calm tone of the man, there was a touch of loneliness and melancholy.

Zhu Yourong let go of the hand that grabbed his sleeve, and the jade hand immediately stretched forward, as if he couldn't help but want to grab something...

Then finally, the jade hand under the sleeve still stopped slowly, when he faintly felt the warmth of the back of his hand.

The woman in the Confucian shirt didn't withdraw her jade hand immediately, but raised an index finger instead, and gently tapped the back of Zhao Rong's hand with the belly of her finger.

"Then what happened next?" She said softly.

"Later... Later I was severely hammered by life." He nodded, "Later, I thought about going north to return the jade to Qingjun before traveling south, and then I met Qian'er on the way. Su Xiaoxiao, a silly fox demon, brought her to Duyou City. Later, she was robbed by Qingjun at the North Sea to make love with Moyu. She still hasn't got it back. Later, she entered Linlu Academy and met you... Later, I felt that you were all here and worried about it, so I gradually stopped walking. It seems that I have forgotten my original thoughts when I walked step by step."

Zhao Rong's eyes were stunned.

Zhu Yourong whispered, "So, this is the day you wanted at first."

"Actually, it's not the first time, it's just... the way of living that I really want in this life. I thought of it like this when I set off."

Zhu Yourong didn't understand the meaning of the word "this life" in this sentence, she only said that Zhao Rong had other dreams before.

Zhao Rong looked at this gentle female gentleman who listened attentively to his words, and suddenly said:
"Yourong, have you ever thought about it... In fact, everyone may have more than one life. After we close our eyes and die, we may open them again and see a new world, a new family, a new way of life... ..."

"What... what do you mean?"

He was a little dazed, talking to himself and telling, whispering: "It's like a bizarre dream, we will do it one after another, you will encounter a new life, and your thoughts and concepts will be completely different , now my dream is in the Xuanhuang Realm, and the next dream may be in a blue..."

Zhu Yourong thought for a while, and suddenly his expression changed, as if he realized something.

"Tzuyu, you mean...the afterlife? Do you think there will be an 'afterlife'?"

Zhao Rong nodded silently.

Zhu Yourong suddenly became serious: "Ziyu, did you read some strange forbidden book, how could you have such a weird idea? And tell me honestly, you told me in the bamboo forest courtyard this morning that you used I don’t want to use the elixir, and I even feel that consuming the elixir is a waste..."

The jade hands under her sleeves suddenly clenched into fists, "Is it also because of this? You feel that life is hopeless, and you want to welcome the so-called afterlife?!"

Zhao Rong looked at her anxious and nervous face, pursed his lips, then smiled and shook his head, "How can you say such an exaggeration, it's just a nonsense, not stupid enough to commit suicide... But in the next life, it may be true Exists, of course, who knows..."

"You haven't answered my previous question." The woman was surprisingly stubborn.

Zhao Rong had no choice but to nod, "It's not all because of this, but the current life is indeed not what I wanted at first. Things like elixir are not very attractive to me. If you live too long, you are just a walking corpse. And some people, even if they are dead, but her obsession is still there, then she will always be alive... So it doesn't matter if there is an elixir or not."

Seeing that he didn't have the idea of ​​committing suicide, Zhu Yourong's expression softened a little.

She bit her lip, fell silent, and digested Zhao Rong's words.

Then he couldn't help but said: "So what you mean by saying so much is that the people you meet now are not interesting enough, and it's not worth your staying with me by taking the elixir?"

Zhu Yourong responded to Zhao Rong with a little dissatisfaction, but her tone of voice was still gentle at this time, more like insulting than blaming him.

Any man who meets such a lady who is good at listening and caring and gentle will probably feel like a spring breeze and feel relaxed.

Zhao Rong is no exception.

I feel that even if I say some private and depressing words in my heart, I feel quite relaxed.

"no."

He shook his head, and said softly, "I, Tzuyu, was the greatest luck to meet you and know you, but..."

The man paused for a moment, then seemed to wake up to something,
"I don't deserve it now."

He seems to have found the source of all the problems and doubts at the moment.

Zhao Rong raised his head in an instant, and his tone became more and more certain:
"Yourong, I understand, it's because I'm not self-cultivating enough, I have Qingjun's little Qianer...these are the most outstanding and lovely women in the world, but they haven't lived the life I want.

"Just like now, I stay at home and get along with Qingjun Qian'er. They are so good to me, but I get along very depressed. I know why I am depressed. I shouldn't let them become like this. Losing Without their natural spirituality, they should...be spiritual, charming and lovely women, which man doesn't love...but now because of me, the most precious spirituality and time are wasted."

Zhu Yourong suddenly interrupted: "Ziyu, are you belittling and doubting yourself? Do you think you are not good enough for them?"

Zhao Rong nodded and shook his head again, "No, we love each other and like each other, how can there be any unworthy words? I just think that I am not self-cultivating enough to make them better."

"If I am good enough in self-cultivation, I will definitely be able to influence them and make them better, so that I won't offend you like yesterday and make the whole family messy."

Hearing these seemingly well-founded reasons, Zhu Yourong frowned and remained silent for a while.

Zhao Rong, however, spoke more and more smoothly, and nodded with certainty at this moment:

"It's because I have no way to manage the family, and I don't blame Qingjun and Qian'er. They practiced swords since they were young. They are pure swordsmen. They don't read much. They don't know much about the principles. They just follow the secular legislation and family rules, and they are jealous. Sensitivity and fragility are the instincts of normal ordinary women, how can you expect Qingjun and Qian'er to simply transcend these realms?"

"The problem lies with me. I am the husband, the person who can influence them the most, but I am not self-cultivating enough, and I did not play a leading role in infecting them. Instead, this family became what it is now..."

Zhao Rong suddenly laughed, as if he had finally figured it out.

"That's the real reason for my depression."

He raised his hand and rubbed his face fiercely, smiling brightly, "I see."

Zhu Yourong frowned, and said hesitantly: "Also... okay, if you just think this way, it's not impossible, as long as you don't have a heartless mentality, and do the kind of love the new and dislike the old, abandoning wives and concubines..."

Zhao Rong nodded, "So I want to... go out for a walk first, travel far away, and seriously cultivate yourself once!"

Zhu Yourong's willow eyes were annoyed, and she immediately vetoed, "No! Self-examination and self-cultivation are fine, but you can't run around!"

Zhao Rong frowned slightly, "But..."

"Nothing but!"

Zhu Yourong held a firm attitude and waved his hands, "Ziyu, wait a minute, let me think about it."

She lowered her head and frowned for a while, then at a certain moment, she raised her head and straightened her face:

"Ziyu, the biggest problem you are facing now is not self-cultivation, but... the Qi family!"

"The Qi family?"

Zhao Rong frowned even more, but the Confucian shirt woman in front of her nodded firmly.

……

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(End of this chapter)