June is our farewell song

Under what circumstances would a person choose to end their own life?
Is it an inescapable despair, or a deep disappointment with the world?
There are subtle but important differences between wanting to be a dead person, wanting to die, and wanting to commit suicide.From time to time, most people hope that they are dead, everything is cleared, and detached from sorrow.In depression, many people want to die, want to take the initiative to change their state, and be free from conscious pain.To commit suicide requires super-level passion and specific violence.

Suicide is not the result of passivity but of action.Suicide requires a conviction that a bad situation will never improve, and it takes a lot of energy, a strong will, and at least a little impulsiveness.

Sitting alone on the big rock in the riverside park, staring at the vast and vast river, Gu Yuan thought about this question without a standard answer.

Suicides can be divided into four categories.

The first type of people commit suicide without thinking about what they are doing.For them, suicide is like breathing, urgent and inevitable.This type of person is the most impulsive, most likely to be stimulated by a specific external event to commit suicide.Their suicide is likely to happen suddenly.

As the essayist Alvarez writes in his meditation on suicide, "The Savage God," these people "attempt to use a kind of exorcism" to escape some pain whose sharpness would only wear off slowly.

The second group is almost obsessed with a comfortable death, and they regard suicide as some kind of shame, as if it were a reversible act.Of such people, Alvarez writes: "The difficulty with suicide is that it is an act that is ambitious, but can only be carried out when one goes beyond it."

Rather than saying that these people are fleeing from life, it is better to say that they are running towards death, and what they are after is not the end of existence, but the manifestation of annihilation.

The third group of people commit suicide out of a faulty logic, as if death were the only escape from unbearable problems.They consider options for suicide, make plans, take notes, and concern themselves with practical methods, as if arranging a vacation in outer space.They often believe that death will not only improve their situation but also relieve the burden of those who love them, when the opposite is often the case.

The last group of people commit suicide based on sound logic.These people are unwilling to bear the pain of life because of physical illness, mental instability or changes in life circumstances. They believe that the possible pleasure in the future is not enough to compensate for the pain in the present.Their predictions about the future may or may not be accurate, but they are not blinded, and no amount of antidepressants or treatment can change their resolve.

Which one does Ye Qiuling belong to?

Judging from the information collected so far, her situation can be said to be different from these four kinds of people.Ye Qiuling is definitely not an impulsive person. Judging from her plain ignorance of the strange eyes she received in school, she can even be said to be extremely calm and rational.So is she obsessed with death?Obviously not, at least from the stories Si Junmo and Chen Ge told, she has things she cherishes and people she loves.Those who are attached to life are not obsessed with death.

Is that the third kind?For Ye Qiuling, is death a relief?Maybe, but to die for not wanting to keep practicing the violin?Gu Yuan felt that this reason was too far-fetched.

That can only be the fourth type.despair of the future.But this seems to be the most unlikely answer. Ye Qiuling has no reason to despair about the future. The problems she worried about had been solved before she committed suicide. As for violin practice, if she persisted in her opinion and did not bow her head, Teachers and parents can't force her, after all, her hands are on her own.

Thinking seemed to hit a dead end.Gu Yuan squinted his eyes slightly, looking at the waves rolling in the light yellow river.Conan Doyle's famous detective Sherlock Holmes has a famous saying: When you eliminate all impossible results, what remains, no matter how absurd it may seem, must be the truth.

The reason why you feel ridiculous is just because you don't understand the logic behind it.

But what is the logic behind it, maybe only she knows.

Did you just give up like this?But I have put so much effort into it, and I am really unwilling to give up at this time.What's more, he still has the locked diary Qing Si gave him in his hand.

Gu Yuan recalled the light and shadow of the girl he saw by the pond in the old campus that day, and remembered her expression that hesitated to speak.

how can stop here...

And to be honest, such a long investigation is not without any progress, at least he has gradually figured out what happened in the last days before Ye Qiuling committed suicide, which means that he is approaching the truth of the matter.

"Zi~~Zi~~"

It's Qi Yu.

"Hey?"

"Hey, where are you?"

"What's the matter, what's the matter?"

"Can't I ask where you are if I'm okay? I haven't seen you for a few days and I want to see if you are still alive."

"At this moment, if I can talk to you on the phone, I have already given the answer..."

"Oh, stop talking nonsense, where are you now? I have something to tell you." The girl on the other end of the phone seemed a little dissatisfied with such nonsense.

"Is there anything you can't say on the phone..."

"No! Come on, tell me where you are."

"Riverside Park." Gu Yuan scanned the surrounding environment, and his eyes stopped at the coffee shop by the river at the foot of the mountain, "Go straight from the gate, walk to the viewing corridor along the river, turn left, pass the orchestra pool and turn right , I'm at the coffee shop at the intersection."

"Okay, then I'll go find you, I'll be there in half an hour, see you soon."

"Ah."

After hanging up the phone, the voice on the other end seemed a little anxious, that girl Qi Yu didn't know what to say, she was so mysterious, she couldn't say it on the phone, just like the American secret agent in the movie.

Gu Yuan found a vacant seat by the window in the coffee shop and sat down, there were still 10 minutes before the appointment.

Before Qi Yu comes, let's reorganize all the collected information.

The first is the reporter Zhang Yun. He did write a wrong report saying that the wishing tree would not be moved with the school, but that report was withdrawn that day, and Ye Qiuling probably had no chance to read that report.He later lost his job because of this and became a painting teacher.

Then there's Guan Zhongting, the teacher, who plays a vague role in the story and, though mentioned by everyone, seems completely irrelevant.

Then came Chen Ge. According to him, Ye Qiuling was very concerned about the school's relocation during that time, and participated in several gatherings organized by the students. She paid a lot for the wishing tree to be moved with the school. effort.

Then there was Si Junmo. He also admitted that Ye Qiuling was really anxious during that time, but apart from worrying about the relocation of the school, it was also because her parents forced her to continue learning the violin that she didn't like.

Finally, there is ARASHI's bar owner. He does not admit that Ye Qiuling has worked there, but Yang Hao says that her name is on the employee list in the past.

Wait... Even if Ye Qiuling really worked there, she was only a part-time temporary worker. Would such an identity really appear on the bar's staff list?Is it possible that Yang Hao is lying to himself?
Thinking of this, Gu Yuan frowned. He thought it was possible, but he couldn't think of a reason for Yang Hao to do so.

If Yang Hao lied in what he told himself, is it possible that other narrators also lied?
Gu Yuan suddenly thought of such a situation.

Indeed, according to their statement, Ye Qiuling had no reason to commit suicide at all, which is also in line with the current situation. The girl's death is an insoluble mystery, and they don't know the truth of the matter.But what if they lied, or, to put it mildly, didn’t lie, they just didn’t tell all they knew?
Could those contents hidden by them be the reason why Ye Qiuling finally fell into despair?
He suddenly felt a little disgusted. If it was really what he thought, then in a sense, the people he asked were the culprits who killed Ye Qiuling, including his teacher Chen Ge.

The boy bit his lip hard. He didn't want this conjecture to come true, so he had to find a way to falsify it.Then you need to find another insider of the incident to understand the situation.After thinking about it in his mind, Gu Yuan realized that he had only one candidate left, which was the music teacher Li Shiyu, who was also "Ye Qiuling's best friend" as Si Junmo said.

I don't know if she will tell the truth, Gu Yuan thought pessimistically, but he didn't want to doubt his teacher.

"Hey, I'm coming!" Qi Yu's voice rang in his ears, followed by two light pats on the shoulders, and a faint fragrance like gardenia.

"Ah."

"Why are you so weak? You shouldn't be very energetic after drinking coffee, and it's only noon now." Qi Yu sat down opposite him, and took off the light blue satchel slung over his shoulder while talking, "Hey, you Nothing."

"No, I don't have much appetite, what do you want from me?" Gu Yuan glanced at Qi Yu, and handed her a tissue, "Just tell me."

"It's nothing. Didn't I say it? Let's make sure you're still alive." Reaching out to take the tissue, Qi Yu didn't change his face.

"Heh." Gu Yuan curled his lips, "Didn't you say you have something to say?"

"Um... did you? I don't remember. Did I say that?"

Facing the girl with a bright smile, Gu Yuan resisted the urge to spray her.

"Hello, do you two want something to drink? Now there is a winter promotion~" The male waiter wearing a green apron stood next to the two with a notebook at some point, "The second cup is half price."

"I want a large vanilla latte, he is the same as me." Qi Yu answered quickly.

"Okay, please wait a moment." The waiter brother quickly wrote a few words and left.

"How do you know what I want to drink?"

"Seeing how bitter you are now, you must drink something sweet."