After getting married, a popular seiyuu suddenly moved to my house

Chapter 552 546. I break away from all your tenderness and give myself a grand exile.

The new year is over quickly, and my work and life have not been affected too much.

It is only when going out to work and on the way home that one needs to be careful, for fear that if one does something strange on the way, if one is photographed, the media will inevitably add fuel to it.

The only thing I have to do is to not think too deeply about anything, and to keep a certain distance from everything.

The street we walked together, the bento box that girl used, and the single CD that was given to me, all of them were forgotten and wiped away.

The trams meandered like sewing needles, and the residential area in the afternoon on weekdays was empty, as if everyone had died.

Walking the streets full of self-loathing, harsh winter afternoon sun, dry and bitter mouth, head like someone else's.

When I got home, the clock on the wall rang dryly, leaving a track of time.

I sat down on the sofa with some exhaustion, and I didn't even want to go to the kitchen to boil water for a drink. I was thinking about all kinds of things, past relationships, and current relationships.

That love affair took me to a situation so diverse and complicated that it did not allow me any leisure to enjoy the scenery around me.

I originally thought that a person like me would never be troubled by a relationship.

Sure enough, there is no "absolute" thing in the world.

I haven't seen Sakura and I for a few days, and we often talk on the phone, but the topics we talk about are almost all about Yusa.

This matter seems to have become a barrier between us, and if I want to break through this barrier, I have to rush to her side.

But because of this incident, I couldn't meet her in private, forming a closed loop that I hated deeply.

Close your eyes, the girl's laughter came from your ears.

When I opened my eyes, I was still alone in the room.

Looking at the sun outside the window slanting a little bit, I felt surprisingly peaceful inside.

I have such a temperament, no matter how I pretend to be good on the outside, I am happy to be alone in the bottom of my heart.

After a while, the phone rang, and seeing the name of the note displayed on it, I waited silently until it was about to hang up automatically, and then pressed the answer button.

"Hey."

"Hey, do you have time now?"

"Is something wrong?"

"There are some."

"Can't you talk on the phone?"

"Some things, I can't say without seeing your face."

"Would you like to send me a selfie?"

"........."

"I'm joking, didn't the firm tell you?"

"I said it, I don't want to hear it."

I think she's in some trouble.

"Are you thinking that I'm really troublesome?"

"Mind reading?"

"How could it be mind reading, just deliberately doing things that make you feel troublesome, Kazuto-sang likes troublesome girls, doesn't he?"

She was only half right, I like troublesome girls because Sakura happens to be a troublesome girl.

I like Ayane Sakura, not troublesome girls.

"Where will I see you?"

"Does it really matter?"

"It just so happens that I have something to talk to you about."

"Do you want me to cry again?"

"If it becomes like that, I apologize to you first, I'm sorry."

Yousha didn't speak, left the address, and hung up the phone hastily.

I fidgeted and called Sakura, but she didn't answer.

After thinking about it, I left a message for her on the line, but it was still unread.

Put on your coat and go out again.

……

……

It is said that Dayin hides in the city, but the place where I agreed to meet Yousa was the streets of Shibuya, crowded with people, like a resurrection point in an online game.

In such an environment, even if a reporter really secretly took pictures, it would not be so easy.

And I also checked when I went out, and no one followed.

Under the shade of a tree in the distance, a girl wearing a mask stood gracefully, and I recognized her at a glance.

The winter sunlight streaming down from the treetops flickered on her shoulders.

"Happy New Year, Heren-san, long time no see."

I don't know if she's joking or serious, and I don't know what to congratulate.

"A place like a restaurant or home is dangerous. I'm sorry to invite you here. I have something to tell you today."

"Ah."

"As for me, I am planning to temporarily stop performing arts activities."

"what?"

Her eyes were flat and her tone was soft, like a machine that had been unplugged.

The fallen leaves lingered around the trunk for a long time, unwilling to fall to the ground, letting the cold wind take them away, as if they wanted to redeem the lost time.

"The doctor said that my current state is not suitable for continuing activities, and my agent also persuaded me to rest, so I am going to recuperate for a while."

I was at a loss for what to do, my voice stuck in my dry throat, and the sound was harsher than the clock hanging on the wall.

"why?"

"Ah... Kazuto-san, his face has finally changed. I might be a little happy."

"........."

"But I'm not teasing you, what I just said is true."

"Bring... back?"

She smiled and waved her hands hastily: "No no no! How could it be a retirement? There are many similar news. Artists temporarily stop activities due to physical reasons, and they will come back to life gorgeously after a while, for sure."

"affim?"

"affim."

I was silent for a while, not knowing what to say, maybe I should take the initiative to ask her what kind of doctor she was seeing, but I didn't ask.

Even if I ask, she may not necessarily answer me.

"When will activities resume?"

"Who knows, I don't know either."

"What about the job at hand?"

"What can be released, what can't be released can only be finished."

It appears she is serious.

I don't think this is Yousha's own thoughts, with her energy, she is not strong enough to drive freedom.

But since the firm will agree, it means that what happened to her has reached the point of no delay.

I didn't have the courage to ask, I was afraid that I would be shaken, and I was afraid that I would have the idea of ​​hurting Sakura.

Even after listening to her words, I couldn't say what I wanted to say to her, so I had to swallow it back secretly.

"So, today I'm here to say goodbye to He Rensang."

"bid farewell?"

"Well, I'm going to travel alone."

"........."

"Thinking about it, I've never gone out to see the world properly. This is a good opportunity, isn't it?"

"Call this an opportunity?"

"Can't?"

"Just don't understand."

"That's because Kazuto-san never tried to understand me."

"Well, that's right."

She chuckled, not knowing if she was laughing at me, herself, or something else.

What Yousha is looking for now may only be found in me, but I don't belong to her.

That's why she chose to embark on the journey. Such an idea seems a bit arrogant. In Sakura's words, it is an excess of self-awareness.

"Anywhere you want to go?"

"Um... Strasbourg?"

"What is an interrogative sentence?"

"Because I didn't think about it, it might be Strasbourg, it might be Vienna..."

She pondered for a moment, then smiled charmingly.

"It may also be a nursing home in the deep mountains of Kyoto."

"Don't say such scary things." I couldn't help but become serious.

"I'm just kidding, how can I find such a place now, and Heren Sang is my first love, we haven't done it yet."

"Not funny."

As the winter stretches, I feel her eyes are more transparent than before, a kind of transparency without any destination.

The sunlight shining through the shade of the trees coated the contours of her figure with a vague film of light.

She is standing out of my reach.

I feel that the girl named Qingshui Yousha, in the real sense, is leaving me.

She seemed to be breaking free from something, and exiled herself freely.

The heart beats faster involuntarily, I know, it's that one coming.

Time and time again, it invades my brain and drives my body. As soon as I relax, I may immediately stretch out my hands and hug her.

In life, many things can and cannot be done.

And giving her tenderness at this time is something that cannot be done.

I think what girls call "tenderness" is really just a weakness in me.

That's why I watched them cry again and again under the guise of tenderness.

And this girl named Qingshui Yousha is breaking away from me by her own will.

Facing the girl who is about to embark on a journey, any soft words may sound like advice to stay.

That's why I don't say anything, I don't do anything.

She is fighting something.

She is fighting with liking me.

I don't want to be a stumbling block in her transformation.

Perhaps, her heart is desperately longing for my retention, longing for me to say the hurtful words "I really like you".

Falling in love is a really confusing thing.

I also looked forward to a relationship from beginning to end, only dating one person, kissing only one person, sleeping with one person only, and marrying one person only.

But obviously that has long been unattainable, and that person's name is obviously not clear water and sand.

I used to think that Saori would be that person. If I didn't let her go to work when I woke up that morning, but hugged her tightly, maybe my life would still have a chance to get on the right track.

That was maybe my only chance to be genuine.

"I'm just a little worried. My sudden absence at this time will make you tainted with troublesome public opinion."

"I always don't care about asking other people's ideas. If they want to say it, just let them say it."

"An artist can't say something like that."

"Artists are just ordinary people, they can sleep in bed, make love, and lose their temper."

Qing Shui You Sha giggled: "Are you talking about Neru-san?"

"It's the same for everyone."

I'd like to know what's wrong with her, if she's seriously ill, what's wrong with her, what's wrong with her, and how she can be cured.

In my opinion now, Yousha seems to be standing in another world. It does not mean that there is an invisible barrier between me and her, but that I finally walked into the world she lives in, but found that She who originally stayed in this world, sneaked into the corner where I used to stay.

I couldn't help but wonder if I really fit into this society, or if I just stood there and never moved.

"I would like to ask one more question at the end."

"What is it?"

"Heren-sang ever really liked me?"

"This……"

"You promised me that you would never tell lies again. Only this time, if you told me lies, I would definitely not like to hear it."

I thought about it again and again, wondering if the distress she showed might be a pretentious entanglement in her eyes.

As soon as I was about to speak, she stretched out her hand to stop me, and I looked at her suspiciously.

"Forget it anyway, the answer is already irrelevant to me."

"Then what matters?"

"Of course I don't love you anymore."

I was a little stunned, and couldn't help feeling sad.

Not sad about her words, but sad about the smile on her face.

"Therefore, Heren-san doesn't have to feel guilty about me anymore, just go and talk with Neru-sang about a dark love."

"Is this from your heart?"

"Of course it's in my heart."

So, I just nodded silently.

When I lied to her in the past, she tolerated my lies in the same way.

"Accidentally talked too much. I should go back. After I get home, I have to think about where to go."

"Do you want me to see you off?"

She looked into my eyes fixedly, as if looking for the whereabouts of a fleeting little fish in a clear spring.

Yousha laughed abruptly, as if he had heard the most unlaughable joke in the world.

"No, the 50 meters we walked together last time is enough for me to remember. I can walk alone for the rest of the way."

Looking at the back of her leaving, I think from the bottom of my heart that she is really free and easy and handsome.

Not like me.

It was as if something was missing inside of me, and there was nothing to fill it up, just a pure void left to be left unattended.

On the way home, I finally received a reply from Sakura. She should have been dubbing.

I will tell her everything about Yousha and everything. Unexpectedly, she didn't look so shocked, maybe she got the news before me.

I didn't blame her why she didn't tell me, and comforted her softly, talking about something that even I thought was lame.

In the evening, Sakura came to my house.

I didn't say anything such as [what to do if I was followed by a reporter], she asked enthusiastically, but everything I said was blocked by her, and I couldn't say it.

She has accumulated a lot of negative emotions, and I can feel it from the violent movements of her fingers that pinch me raw.

When I got inside, she bit her lips tightly, tears streaming down her face, beating me, scolding me, scolding herself.

I told her not to cry, she told me not to stop.

Even when we were doing this, she and I were immersed in inexplicable sadness, and after only one time, we couldn't get up anymore, and we hugged each other and fell asleep.

After sleeping for less than 10 minutes, she started to act strangely again. After she finished sleeping for another 10 minutes, she woke up and did it again, going on endlessly like pi.

Tears from her crying were all over the pillow, and so were the sheets.

When she was finally exhausted, she huddled in my arms, pulled my hair hard, and cried hoarsely.

"it's all my fault."

I silently stroked her sweaty hair.

"not ours."

(End of this chapter)