you are my Destiny

Chapter 1 [Prequel to the Main Text] The End of the Sadness That Gets Its Wish
I returned to the old house in Jinghai with my mother's ashes. It was already the beginning of summer in 2023, and the wind was calm.

Just early in the morning, there are already people waiting at the door to visit, they are some media reporters with a curiosity-seeking mentality and curio lovers who don't want to miss the opportunity.Through the glass windows, visitors are amazed by the luxurious and classical furnishings in the house, and amazed from time to time.The hostess who has been here for nearly a century has passed away, and her mysterious anecdotes have also passed away. These curious people just want to see the items to be auctioned behind the deceased, or what more shocking secrets are hidden .Seeing my appearance, they all raised their mobile phones and professional camera equipment at the same time, and I instinctively blocked my face.

Chen Siyuan blocked the crowd and unlocked the door for me. A strong stale smell came over me. He opened the window for me again. The wind came in. It was the smell of jasmine flowers grown by my mother in the yard. It was unbelievable. , this is also my first time here.

After I placed my mother's ashes, in the ancestral hall, Fu Tinglan's name was finally clearly written in the ancestral register, and she was born and died from November 1912, 11 to November 16, 2022.Through the curtain, you can see that there are thousands of collections in this house, which is definitely not something that can be collected in one life.

There is a large portrait of my mother on the wall, an oval face with two almond-shaped eyes embedded, a straight nose, and slightly parted rose-colored lips revealing snow-white teeth like jewels, and the skin is as delicate as if it has been soaked by milk all year round. Qin Guo, with black hair hanging down her shoulders like velvet, and two water-blue turquoise earrings shining on her two full earlobes, dignified and innocent, she is the immortal that people have been looking for Beauty, it's hard to imagine that when she died, she was as dry as a bone.

I brushed lightly over her talented face with my fingers, and in a trance, I couldn't tell whether I was awake or in a dream. I vaguely saw her tall, thin and graceful silhouette passing by several times.I stared at everything in the room with breathless concentration, staring at the eyes on the portrait that I least wanted to see before, and she responded to me with the same profoundness.

All the objects here, each of which showed me a lonely meeting of the poor mother and her desperate death, even though she had enjoyed a beautiful appearance for more than a hundred years, she always maintained her dignity.

The long-term immersion has taught me a little bit of antiques. This is the first time I have walked into her bedroom. In addition to all kinds of boudoir items that are necessary for dressing up, they are still showing off the beauty of the times in their respective positions, leaning against the wall. A huanghuali Duobao Pavilion nearly two meters high and three meters wide caught my attention. I found several handwritten diaries on it, the last one was written after I was born.When I opened the diary, my hands trembled instinctively, and even my whole body trembled:

First snow on January 1996, 1

Is the person who makes me so attached to my arms safe and sound now?My life is like a door that can be gently closed at will, but who knows, my heart hurts so much that I can't cry anymore.

Nov. 1996, 2

In my ridiculous life, I was pregnant with a child.In nearly a hundred years of lonely years, I felt scared for the first time, but I had no way to go to the hospital, let them discover my secret, let everyone watch a monster like me, and then watch my children.If I can successfully give birth to this child, I will go back to Jinghai to see where it should end.

These two pages of the diary were stained with tears.

Tears dripped down my jaw and onto the ground, and the old floor quickly sucked away my epiphany.I was so painful that I wanted to cry, but I suppressed my throat and coughed a few times. I fell into a rosewood chair in the late Qing Dynasty. After a long time, those memories seemed to keep pouring out. I don’t know 25 years. What suppressed my thinking ability and my ability to distinguish right from wrong, at this time, I miraculously woke up.

I have witnessed the difference in my mother since I was a child. I don’t know if I grew up in a sick environment. I hated her and avoided her, but I never thought about getting to know her well.It turns out that the relationship with people is originally a kind of involvement due to anxiety, and the relationship between me and my mother disappeared at that moment. I must be just a moment in her long life. I don’t know what she is doing at this time. Where does the soul go, will it come back to see me from time to time?

Did the person who hurt her ever have compassion for her? Even when he entered the prison, he was nothing more than a boring and greedy bad guy.I obeyed my mother's will against my will, and promised to forgive that old man who was nearly twilight, but I will never forget his surveillance behavior, nor my mother's infinite tolerance for him, because I can't help but feel disgusted from the bottom of my heart.

I lay on her pillow, and her faint smell still remained on it. It was hard to believe that Fu Tinglan, who was both my mother and my close friend, died.I quietly covered up all her anecdotes, hoping that no matter how stormy the city was before she was alive, she would be silent and undisturbed after death.But I knew that I should write down everything I knew about her fantastic life, and that her story would be very vivid even if told flatly.

Chen Siyuan held a thick document and put it on the mahogany table in front of me, and at the same time handed over a signature pen.

"It's returned to its original owner, and I'll hand it over to you from today on."

I saw him holding a simple suitcase with red eyes.

"My guardian mission is over, I think I should..." Chen Siyuan sat across from me, holding his head and crying in pain. It may not be until this moment that he can unreservedly disclose the ambiguous relationship surging in his heart change.

"In my life, she is everything. I don't know what else I can do after she is gone."

My heart was in a mess, the past seemed to be vivid in my mind, I looked at Chen Siyuan's back that was heaving from crying, and stretched out my hand to pat it lightly.Although such consolation will not have much effect, it is enough to prove that I can understand his mood.

Yes, my mother finally ended her life, she left me satisfactorily, and she also left behind the man who had guarded her for 30 years, and this man never had a chance to confess his love to her, so everything was over.

I don't know how Chen Siyuan managed to face a woman who is ruthless, lustless and joyless for many years. The memory of a lot of memories made him a little out of control, and he continued, "In my eyes, she is just a poor girl. , I have never regarded her as unusual, if possible, I would like to keep her like this forever, hoping to see her happy, not the current ending..."

He hesitated to say the word ending, but I seem to understand a little bit.If possible, I think he very much hopes that there will be more legendary things about his mother, even if he just watches from a distance, it is better than a fallen star dimming, and this story can only be told from the end to the forward.

　MIUMIU's new book, don't like to click forks, welcome to love each other with strength~

　　
　
(End of this chapter)