you are my Destiny

Chapter 44 The World I Lost

In the diary, my mother fell into anxiety because of uncovering this incident. The past was tumbling one after another, one after another, and one scene after another. Fan made me feel melancholy, and stayed at home for a few days.She didn't know whether her actions were correct, whether such actions were out of excessive love for me, or hatred for Shen Anzhi, or something else that she couldn't figure out clearly, and even angered my emotions.When I saw that diary, I just soothed some doubts in my heart. She was abandoned by time, so she wanted to end her life countless times, and calculated countless ways to die, but in the end she could only watch everything around her, Everything is far away, and her heart is extremely fragile. I can always think of that time in a trance. The corners of her upturned eyes were slightly red, which made her complexion more sparkling, but it also revealed a lonely and helpless trance. Mother She is just an ordinary woman. She has obsessions and emotional depression that she can't let go of, and she hopes that life will give her an answer, but there are not answers everywhere in this world. , but still unsolved.

After a few days of tossing, my heart has gradually calmed down.Early in the morning, I rushed to the kitchen with my drowsy head, and just as I picked up the fruit knife, I was hugged from the back and grabbed the knife.

Fu Tinglan's eyes looked very sad, as if she hadn't slept all night, her little face became even paler, her almond eyes were full of sadness, she stretched out her arms and hugged me, her body trembled uncontrollably, I could feel the same As thin as Ye Bianzhou, he asked softly, "Daughter, don't hurt yourself! I'm very scared..."

I just want to slice an apple!The moment I was hugged by her, I put all my anger behind me, and I stabilized my mind. She was actually worried that I would commit suicide because of a broken relationship. Was I being ridiculed, or something... I don’t know if it is All mothers in the world will have this kind of brain circuit. Thinking of this, I put away my stubborn expression and froze there in complete incomprehension.

"Would you blame Mom?" Fu Tinglan hugged me tightly, that kind of strong love seemed to be a kind of madness that had already been brewing, and I could even hear the burning sound of the hot fire in her heart, As if asking for my forgiveness.In fact, Fu Tinglan is worried that I will not be able to compare with those veterans of flowers because of my first taste of love. The friendship is naturally full. When the two suddenly separated, naturally there would be a lot of sadness in her heart, but she wanted to replace me to suffer, but she couldn't help it. She was thinking about how to free me every day, but she could stop blaming her , that's really silly.

"No." Seeing her pale little face helplessly admit defeat, I really wanted to comfort her, but I choked up.It's ridiculous to say that I have a natural and unrestrained face, but it's not that Fu Tinglan used me as a condition to talk to Toya, but that Toya approached me with a purpose from the beginning, and Fu Tinglan knew it clearly. But didn't tell me earlier, I was just a joke from beginning to end, no one can understand what I feel in my heart.

After a while, she stopped trembling, wanted to hold my hand and stopped in the middle, and said a few words in a low voice, which probably meant that she was very sad, and half awake and half dreaming, she wanted to hold my hand again. hand.

The knife fell to the ground with a bang, ending the embarrassing dialogue. Fu Tinglan touched me unpreparedly, her hand burned, and she was in pain, and the moment I raised my hand, I was waiting. Not far away, Chen Siyuan stepped over and directly wrapped Fu Tinglan in his arms.

"Mr. Fu...haven't slept for several nights, let her sleep for a while." When the elegant and calm Chen Siyuan hugged Fu Tinglan, his body was obviously tense, very nervous, and his mood was very complicated, but he has always had strong self-control. Even I couldn't see anything strange about him, "Toffee, don't go, you must wait for me for a while."

After Fu Tinglan was sent away, Chen Siyuan came over and sat on the sofa facing me. He forcibly smiled at me calmly.

"Brother, you have known it from the beginning to the end, right?" I raised my eyes without squinting, showing that I didn't believe him very much, "Since you all use me as a bargaining chip, what do you want to talk to me about today?" After finishing speaking I hooked the corner of my mouth and gave a vengeful chuckle, displaying cynical emotions, Qingyue's voice was as sharp as a devil, and every word was clear.

"Actually, you don't have to do this. I will neither do things that seek death like you feared, nor will I be as ruthless as Fu Tinglan has become. I just hope that you will stop interfering in my life."

I have never had the confidence to keep something by my side forever. From childhood to adulthood, the mother-daughter relationship with Fu Tinglan was inseparable. I separated from my friends several times and moved several times. All I need to do is integrate with the strange environment. There is also the separation that is ready at any time, so the end with Toya, I am not really so hard to extricate myself, heartbreak is inevitable, but I have already prepared for myself to separate.

"Since I was a child, I have always felt that I am just alone, so it is a bit fake if you are too nervous." I reluctantly smiled back at him, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible in this way.

Chen Siyuan's elegant and gentle face finally changed color, "Toffee, I understand your feelings very well, but I am obliged to correct this matter, probably... I think you should think about it, Mr. Fu loves you so much , she never wanted to separate you, please don't leave any knots...I'm sorry..."

Ever since Chen Siyuan knew that Shiye's real name was Shen Xu, he had always had a guess, but he sent someone to check his life experience, but no matter what, he couldn't find any more useful information. He seemed dissatisfied with the current situation. As a result, I didn't even know why I was forced to sit in front of me at this moment and asked to have a talk. For the first time, such an expression appeared on Chen Siyuan's face. He was no longer confident, but full of hesitation. He folded his index fingers Together, rubbing against each other.

"What does he have to do with me? It's just a passer-by who doesn't need to see you again." I said lightly, "You should be sorry, but it's not the first time you've played me like a monkey since I was a child, and this time I even gained weight An outsider."

"Toffee, stop talking..." I could clearly see that Chen Siyuan was controlling his emotions. He frowned tightly. What I said seemed to prick a soft part of his heart. Once upon a time, he was also Misunderstanding, it’s like being hurt by such a time. It’s a pity that you can’t go back. "Maybe he will regret it one day. It’s too late to understand, and that person will not be where he is after all..."

What Chen Siyuan said, I went through it carefully in my heart.In the past, I was not a person who was good at thinking. At this time, I seemed to wake up from being wrapped in Toya's continuous love, and became very sober.

According to Fu Tinglan's habits, she is not a person who can let me go at will, and Chen Siyuan can't really influence any of Fu Tinglan's actions unilaterally. If someone suddenly appears next to me, she will undoubtedly investigate carefully. She must have been aware of my nights out several times, but she did not stop her, and she had to act only because Shiye had thrown herself into the net this time, she just wanted to warn her alone, and she didn't really want to break us up , if I hadn't overheard the truth, I'm afraid everything would be fine.I really want to know why Fu Tinglan is indifferent on the surface when she knows that Shiye has cheated me. If she has to come to a conclusion, she seems to be helping me!And Chen Siyuan also knew about this, why he was so uncharacteristically entangled, what did they hide from me!
The world I have lost is hard to heal due to serious injuries, excessive blood loss, and my life is hanging by a thread. It is the same with Fu Tinglan, or with Toya. This is the first time I know that this emotional injury is something I cannot repair myself Yes, at that time, all my cruel words could not make me truly free.

(End of this chapter)