My girlfriend is from the future!

Chapter 216 The Rashomon of Life (End)

The memory came to an abrupt end here, He Tianran curled up all over, with his forehead resting on the stone slab outside the Buddhist hall, Cao Aiqing had always been regarded as a standard in his heart, like a goddess.

In the dark days after being teased by Wen Liang in public, the secret love and obsession with Cao Aiqing rose to the point of spiritual comfort in He Tianran's heart. He had to do this, and he could only do this, Because he really can't find anyone else to confide in his pain, an adult like He Panshan will not take the pain of a teenager too much as pain.

They just think, what are you doing?
It's nothing more than being rejected in public. In the eyes of adults, this is really not a big deal. When you step into the society in the future, you may bear ten times or a hundred times more humiliation than this. Will tell this story with a smile.

But what about in practice?

For a young man, when he needs a kind of decency, it may be such a little thing, which is already an insurmountable threshold in his life.

Therefore, the only thing he can think of, even a subconscious action, is to rely on the only thing left in his heart that yearns for and sprouts beautiful things, like Ah Q, deceiving himself and others to fantasize, to wash away and resist the maliciousness of the outside world .

However, with the growth of age and the influence of the environment, this kind of emotion gradually becomes deformed and distorted. After a series of chain reactions in the future, it finally leads to a catastrophe...

That Cao Aiqing who once supported her to survive, that girl who symbolized beauty and purity, was...indirectly killed by herself.

"It's not right...it's not right...I gave her the prayer beads...I asked her to choose again...she...how could she..."

He Tianran lay on the ground and howled in pain, his eyes tearing open, the tears in his eyes fell on the cold ground bit by bit, the memory that appeared out of thin air made his brain confused, and the intense emotion that accompanied the memory, It made his life worse than death.

He was panting heavily, and his left hand was lowered from his head to support the ground. He raised his eyes and looked towards the Buddhist hall with difficulty. In his blurred vision, the calm and peaceful face of the compassionate Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva seemed to be Slowly revealing a terrifying aura, He Tianran was terrified by the downcast eyes, trembling all over.

But even so, He Tianran still kept his voice hoarse, and asked with difficulty:
"After... what about later?"

There was a trace of compassion in the eyes of the old monk, and he said slowly:

"Later, this benefactor knew that he had killed innocent people and committed a heinous crime. He was trapped in boundless sorrow every day. After several months, he finally chose to jump into the abyss at the long pavilion outside the mountain and die by himself..."

He Tianran lowered his head. He was not surprised by such a result. It can even be said that after he has this memory and experienced that emotion, all he can think of is this...

The mage in front of him didn't remind himself of all the memories. Was it because he was afraid that his spirit would completely collapse under the influence of the memory of death?

Suddenly, he suddenly asked again: "Then... what about Wen Liang? She...how is she?"

The old monk sighed: "The benefactor congratulated him for more than a month. Although benefactor Wen was with him, but because he didn't know the whole picture of cause and effect and had no way to solve it, he also felt exhausted and exhausted. One month after the death of Congratulatory Master, she became sick with grief, after all... after all, she committed the foolish act of sacrificing herself for love."

A cause and effect, three lives.

This is the truth that hovers over this reincarnation.

"Then what about you... who are you... Since we are all dead, why do you want us to live!! Why do you want me to go through all this?!!!! What is this world?!!!"

He Ranran's expression changed from bewildered and sad to furious, and his voice rose little by little, and at the end, he roared angrily at the Buddha in the temple.

The young man's face was pale, and two lines of scarlet tears of blood gradually flowed from the eye sockets of resentment and grief. The left hand that was supporting his body was grasped hard, and at some point, five small dents had been caught on the threshold of the Buddhist hall, and the finger cover was even more severe. It was oppressed by a huge force, and the roots were separated and upturned, oozing blood all over the place.

His current appearance is very much like an evil ghost that has just climbed up from hell to the human world, facing the mighty, noble and holy Buddha in the temple, screaming incompetently.

However, such emotions did not last long. His questioning reverberated in this solemn Buddhist hall over and over again. The silence of the Buddha made him despair. Gradually, his voice became smaller and weaker. , in the end, he could only lie powerlessly on the ground, staring at the high threshold of the Buddha Hall with empty eyes, just like the endless despair after being teased by Wen Liang at that time.

There seemed to be countless ridicules, sarcasm, and curses echoing in his ears, like waves washing over his eardrums one after another, and finally, a long and long sigh pulled his sanity back from these pickling sounds——

"Hey……"

In the Buddhist hall, the old monk sighed in vain, his throat trembled, under his snow-white brows, a pair of old eyes flashed with mourning, and he murmured:

"Actually, that benefactor was fortunate enough to be protected by vegetation when he died. Although he was seriously injured and unconscious, he saved his life..."

"No... not dead?"

When He Tianran heard the words, he turned over with difficulty, his eyes fixed on the "eminent monk" who played with his own destiny wantonly.

"He was rescued by the monks of Quanling Temple. He wanted to take him to the foot of the mountain for medical treatment, but when he woke up, he realized that he had made a big mistake. He was ashamed to face his dear one, so he struggled and begged the elders in the temple to keep it secret. It is forced by death.

At the beginning, the elders in the temple did not agree to his request, but saw that his will to die was hard to shake, fearing that something might happen, they had to temporarily conceal the news about him in the temple, and wait until the next day, so they can try to persuade him.

At that time, the search and rescue team up the mountain did not find him, only some clothes and a last letter were found. His relatives at the foot of the mountain found a token through this. At first they did not give up searching, but as more than a month passed, hope gradually faded, so A few days later, a funeral was finally held for him.

Several months later, He Shizhu's injuries were mostly healed, and his mood stabilized a lot. Only then did the elder understand his feelings and persuade him to go down the mountain to visit his relatives. Unexpectedly, after he went down the mountain, the news of Wen Shizhu's death was overwhelming. Come on, bad news comes one after another, it really is a trick of luck...

In this regard, He Benefactor is completely empty of all thoughts, and there is no memory in the world. From now on, there will be no benefactor named "He Tianran" at the foot of the mountain, but there will be an additional monk named "Tianran" on the mountain. , in front of Ksitigarbha every day, eating fast and chanting scriptures, hoping that those who are ashamed can get rid of the sea of ​​suffering as soon as possible and go to bliss. "

He Tianran's heart was full of fire, and he said sadly: "If you even met Wen Liang once before this, tell her that you are still alive, she will not die!!!!"

The old monk calmed down and said calmly:
"If we had met at that time, it would have been nothing more than a flurry of orchids. Now who is blessed with good fortune, why bother to congratulate the benefactor?"

He Tianran was at a loss for words for a while, but the old monk turned to persuade him not to be persistent. The young man didn't know whether he should be angry or sad. He was silent for a long time, struggled to get up, and slowly sat down cross-legged outside the hall, his throat astringent asked:

"...Who the hell am I?"

"It's me, it's you, it's He Tianran, it's the cause and effect under the mountain, it's the liberation before the Buddha."

The old monk reflected the boy's appearance in his eyes, spit out lotus flowers, and continued:

"When I first entered the world of mortals, I didn't know the sufferings of the world of mortals. When I look back suddenly, I am already a person in suffering. I have passed through the trials and tribulations, and it is difficult to stay up every night. There is no spring and autumn in the mountains. The old monk kowtowed in front of the Buddha. I don't know when, but I can see countless Cause and effect flow, among them, human appearance is not corrupted, neither arises nor perishes, both awakened and manifested, obstructed and covered by dust, now, the old monk only seeks a person who is free from hindrance and does not appear, and attains nirvana.”

He Tianran's thoughts were confused, his mind was like a lump of mud, he seemed to understand but half understood, and asked in embarrassment:
"I... I don't understand... But since you have seen me so many times in reincarnation, isn't there one time where you were able to clear your heart?"

The old monk smiled and said, "It's not because of my heart, but because of my wish. Congratulations, think about it, if you fail to notify Bai, what will happen between you and Cao and Wen?"

He Tianran thought for a while. At first, he only thought that this matter was only related to the relationship between Bai Tingting and Xue Yong, but now, he had a different feeling. He replied:
"If I hadn't told Tingting, Ai Qing might not have known about the fight between me and Xue Yong. Wen Liang would still find me, but they wouldn't bump into each other. If it continued to develop, Wen Liang and I might have..."

Having said that, He Tianran stopped suddenly. He remembered that when he was in the ward, he was fascinated by the appearance. If it hadn't happened that Bai Tingting helped Xue Yong to visit and bumped into him, he would have sunk into the ocean of desire. By then, even if he had a crush on Ai Qing No matter how great the guilt is, I am afraid that it is also doomed by cause and effect.

Wen Liang asked a very good question, that is, if that thing really happened between He Tianran and Cao Aiqing, would he still choose to time travel.

The answer is no.

On the contrary, he did the same to Ai Qing.

Desire and reason, guilt and admiration, just like Wen Liang and Ai Qing can't have both, he has to choose one or the other.

"I've seen this kind of intertwined spirituality 31 times. Congratulations, Lord, is this what you want?"

He Tianran shook his head, "Although the relationship between me and them is nourished by desire, it is also burdened by desire. I can make a choice, but before making a choice, I want everyone to let it go without any worries."

"You want to be a saint?"

"I'm not some saint."

He Tianran shook his head again, pondered for a while, and said frankly:

"I'm just an ordinary man. While I'm greedy for Ai Qing's tenderness towards me, at the same time I don't want to give up the warmth and coolness to leave me; Thinking not to be an abrupt beauty; I have thought dirty countless times, if I can hug left and right, and try to make everyone happy, will there be less pain...

However, regardless of what they think, I can't do it myself. My conscience will not allow me to tarnish their personality or hurt them again.

You have seen me so many times on reincarnation, you should know that I am guilty of being with Wen Liang, and regretful of being with Ai Qing. Giving up is a kind of escape, and everything is an insult, because I can't face it calmly. They, so no matter who I choose in the end, I owe something.

And it is precisely because there is no good cause and effect in this period, so this period of reincarnation continues. I am at the foot of the mountain, and my heart is hindered. It is rare for you to be consummated in front of the Buddha. "

Hearing this, the old monk spread his hands out, put the palms outwards in front of his knees, looked at each other with a smile and said:

"It's true, you and I go up and down the mountain to practice separately. The so-called practice is to control the nature, and the enlightenment is to practice the nature. The enlightened one generates the law from the heart, and the practitioner uses the law to control the heart. The problems you are facing now are nothing more than Although those who have no proof of nature do not fall into evil results, they live in cause, effect, and mindfulness. If they arise and die, they will not be able to nirvana. However, as far as I am concerned, there is no perfectness, no non-perfection, no fullness, no dissatisfaction, and no ultimate. Consummation."

After hearing those words, He Tianran breathed a long sigh of relief. With the introspection and confusion after each question, his state of mind became a little clearer. This feeling was like enlightenment, and he suddenly understood. Why did I appear in this "world".

He opened his mouth and said:

"So, the meaning of my existence is to end this cause and effect. It's like this reincarnation is a big maze. I'm like a slime mold, slowly stretching my cytoplasm to cover the entire maze. Those alter egos that hit a wall, or alternate timelines, are dead ends.

Therefore, I will take back the redundant part under the choice again and again, leaving only the only line connecting the entrance and exit, and this line is liberation and completion, right? "

The old monk imitated how he went first, nodded, shook his head, smiled and said a word of praise or derogation: "It seems that Monk Hua is very talented, and it is difficult for an ascetic to obtain the scriptures."

He Tianran couldn't help but smile when he heard these words, he suddenly thought of a question: "Why did Wen Liang remember the original future in the first place, but why would she forget it now? What is your intention in asking her to keep the precepts? And why can't I recall memories of my family?"

"This is not related to keeping the precepts. The precepts just keep her from disturbing karma, just like you will suffer from the pain of karma when you remember another future, and the reason why you forget something is because, at a certain point in time, You have been satisfied."

"Satisfied? Satisfied with what?"

"A long-cherished wish."

Scenes of memories of getting along with Wen Liang flashed through He Ranran's mind. With the previous inferences, various details made his mind turn, and he quickly came to a conclusion:
"In September last year, I confessed to her that I loved her. This was her long-cherished wish at the time, right? She was already relieved, but because I traveled through time again later, she kept another About the memory of the future, because this time she already knew that I love her, so now, her long-cherished wish has changed?"

The old monk remained silent, but He Tianran thought more and more deeply...

"If I fulfill her long-cherished wish, will she be able to escape from reincarnation? When Ai Qing died, there must have been a long-cherished wish. If I can find it and help her fulfill it, then the cause and effect between the three of us, this kind of Is the endless cycle of reincarnation completely settled?"

He Tianran became more and more anxious as he spoke, as if he saw a little light coming from the exit of this reincarnation.

At this moment, the young man's face slowly revealed its due brilliance, but the old monk's eyes were full of compassion.

"Forgetting is lingering in your heart, and the front edge is wiped out. When their long-cherished wish is fulfilled, they will forget all the past related to you, and even this world will erase the intersection between you and them bit by bit. You Have you figured it out?"

He Tianran was taken aback, his eyes trembling.

This is the exit of the labyrinth and the way of liberation.

He was silent for a moment, and asked:
"Then...do I still remember?"

"I'm still waiting for you to go up the mountain next time, and you will remember it naturally."

"How many times have you waited?"

The old monk was noncommittal.

"……enough."

enough.

He Tianran raised his head and looked at the Ksitigarbha Dharma Body again. He calmed his breathing, closed his eyes slowly, and heard his heartbeat that started to slow down from the rush, and took out the pocket watch that Ai Qing gave him again. , as if wanting to seize the time at this moment, hold it tightly in your hand.

May the world of mortals cross me, and may lovers have an afterlife.

When his eyes were opened again, he had become the young man with the eyes of the world and his heart open to the sun. He said loudly:

"Wen Liang compromised because she loved me. She was such a proud person, but she lost her original brilliance. This is not right; the same is true for Ai Qing. Because of me, she is kind and struggling at the ends of human nature. Two completely different lives were forced to couple, and her pain was not below mine, which was even more wrong.

I, like you, want to save them from the sea of ​​suffering. Even if they forget me, even if I am reluctant to give up, I will not hesitate. This is not my attachment, but my wish!Because this is the right thing, this is what I want to do for them! "

He Tianran got up slowly, with his left hand erect in front of his chest, the old man Gu Jing Wubo's face was also slightly moved, and he clasped his hands together again, saluting both inside and outside the door.

How did Bodhi come to have the fruit, and today I know that I am me.

The people outside the door suddenly turned around and walked away.

The young man has always sailed fast, and the road is blocked and does not turn for a long time.

Be straight, be sincere, be calm, and go through mountains and rivers without doubt or slowness.

The old man inside the door also got up, paced and stood behind the door frame, looked into the distance with his hands behind his back, and groaned:
"Consummate enlightenment, that is, the Buddha of human form, the dream of white bowl and clear water, the millions of insects in the world, and all kinds of things in the future, I will realize my youthful dream."

(Volume IV, end)

(End of this chapter)