It's like I'm not reborn

Chapter 24 Secret Love
Zhu Lingjie sat blankly for a while trying to recover.

The joy of returning from rebirth has been diluted a lot.

In fact, she is still understandable rationally. It is not uncommon for Shi Hai to have a girlfriend when he was in college.

Because although she and Shi Hai have known each other for many years, they have never had a deeper intersection.

The relationship stops at 'the childhood sweetheart next door' and cannot go any further.

Especially after Zhu Lingjie and her family moved away, they lost their favorable status as a 'neighbor', and they didn't see each other much until they graduated from university.

Zhu Lingjie remembers that when she was in college, the only time she saw Shi Hai was in the school library. He sat there quietly reading a book all afternoon, while Zhu Lingjie hid in the corner and looked at Shi Hai's profile. afternoon.

Then she set that day as her lucky day, and would go to the library from time to time, looking forward to meeting Shi Hai again by 'chance'...

But the whole college time passed like this.

At that time, Zhu Lingjie was in despair.

It was because of Shi Hai that she was admitted to this university. As a result, the number of times she met in the four years of the university was only a handful... Then what is the hard work all this time?
Of course she knew it was all her fault.

In fact, Zhu Lingjie has been secretly in love with Shi Hai for a long time.

She couldn't even remember when she started to have a good impression of Shi Hai.

Because it is too long.

She also wanted to have some contact with Shi Hai, but she just couldn't do it.

This is because Zhu Lingjie suffers from a very serious 'obsessive-compulsive disorder' and a slight 'male phobia'.

Then because of these two mental illnesses, she later developed a 'social barrier'.

It is a complete loss of the ability to 'contact people'.

It's better with women, but I can't even say a word when facing men.

Zhu Lingjie has this kind of psychological barrier because she saw scenes that she shouldn't have seen when she was a child.

That was my father's 'scene of having an affair'.

The dirty scene where her father was entangled with a woman she didn't know made the young girl feel extremely uncomfortable and fainted on the spot, scaring her father to send her to the hospital immediately.

It was only later that Zhu Lingjie found out that, in fact, her mother knew about her father's finding a mistress, and even acquiesced... But the premise is that it can't affect the family.

But as a result, Zhu Lingjie was traumatized.

This made Zhu Lingjie's father extremely guilty, changed his past, and completely severed contact with Xiaosan. From then on, he took good care of his wife and daughter.

So now I wish Lingjie's parents can still have a good relationship and go on their honeymoon.

However, the price of harmony between husband and wife is that Zhu Lingjie can no longer communicate and contact with boys normally, and she will feel sick even just getting close.

No matter where you go, you must always do a good job of disinfection, and you are not allowed to touch yourself, not even your family and relatives.

It's only a little bit nicer to Shi Hai, whom he has fallen in love with for a long time.

That's why the class teacher arranged the two of them to be at the same table when they were in elementary school, and they sat together for six years.

When Shi Hai sat beside her, Zhu Lingjie would not feel so uncomfortable, and could look at him more closely...

But it is difficult to say more words.

Contradictory heart has been tormenting her.

No... actually that's not the 'real reason'.

Later, Zhu Lingjie realized that she was just using 'mental disorder' as an excuse.

So what if there is a mental disorder?Isn't the feeling of liking stronger than this?
After all, I have never tried to overcome it... Is it really impossible?

Just dare not.

Because the time of secret love is too long, it is too long to have the courage to confess.

Because, as long as you don't confess, you won't get hurt.

All that's missing is 'courage'.

If you don't have the courage all the time, no matter how much you like the person, you will miss it in the end.

However, fate gave Zhu Lingjie another chance.

I thought that there would be no chance to see each other after college, but as fresh graduates, both of them joined a new company called 'Tianshi' to work.

Shi Hai is working on a technical post, while Zhu Lingjie is a legal consultant.

Fate miraculously continues.

It's almost like 'fate'.

At the company's welcome meeting, Zhu Lingjie plucked up the courage to sit next to Shi Hai.

Then he drank a lot of wine and drank himself into a daze.

The purpose is to take advantage of the wine to strengthen his courage and take advantage of the situation to confess.

As a result, she drank too much and became fragmented... When she woke up, she found herself at Shi Hai's house.

Because after all, she was a childhood sweetheart whom he had known for a long time, and he couldn't just leave her there, let alone watch her being 'picked up' by other men, so Shi Hai carried her home.

After seeing Zhu Lingjie wake up, his first reaction was to explain.

He said that although he carried her back, he never did anything out of the ordinary, and he didn't touch her skin, and it was all through the clothes... Barabara explained a lot.

Shi Hai said so much just to prove that he didn't intend to offend.

Only then did Zhu Lingjie realize that her behavior all the time was 'rejection' and 'indifference' in Shi Hai's eyes.

How can I confess this?It's completely negative!

But because of this incident, the two of them finally had a real start.

She also worked hard to explain her heart disease to Shi Hai.

After learning the reason, Shi Hai took good care of her in the company, and many things happened after that. Zhu Lingjie's heart disease gradually improved, and the two finally came together...

Although the process was bumpy, the result is beautiful.

She finally got her wish and entered the marriage hall with her first love.

However, the happy time did not last long.

Because Zhu Lingjie was reborn and went back to the past.

She 'has absolutely no memory' of what happened before her rebirth.

At first she was skeptical, wondering if everything was just her delusion.

But no matter what, I don't want to believe that it's all imagined by myself.

Then came anger.

Why did God want to take back the happiness she just held from her hand?

For things like rebirth... just find someone else!Why did I choose myself...!
After the anger passed, she calmed down and felt that this might not be a bad thing.

Although everything is reset to zero, you can still start from scratch.

And earlier than the last time, it started when I was in college.

Because of this, she proposed to her parents that she wanted to move back to her previous home, at least from a distance.

If you live closer, the frequency of contact will increase, right?It's not like the last time, I have seen it once in four years in college.

Therefore, being able to meet Shi Hai earlier has become what she looks forward to the most after her rebirth.

So in order to make a good impression on Shi Hai, she also spent a lot of time dressing herself up.

Then came across the scene just now...

The girl wearing the blindfold was probably the girlfriend he had dated in college. Anyway, until high school, according to her observation, Hai had never had a girlfriend.

But Shi Hai's college life is completely unknown to Zhu Lingjie.

And Zhu Lingjie did not inquire about his previous relationship history...

He didn't know who he did what at home with whom, and he had no chance to know...

Although Shi Hai said that his mother was at home, but his mother probably just got off work near dinner time, and college courses are relatively free, Shi Hai and that girl named Jian Sichun might be at home in the afternoon...

Thinking of this, in an instant, Zhu Lingjie felt her stomach churning, and the strong vomiting made her cover her mouth quickly, but she still burst into tears.

Her eyes became blurred, and a strong sense of dizziness caused her to fall to the ground.

This 'reaction'...!
Just like the time I ran into my father having an affair...

Why... You must have overcome it...

Zhu Lingjie lost consciousness.

(End of this chapter)