imperial psychologist

Chapter 266 Wanted

Looking into Concubine Ning's eyes, Qu's heart softened almost immediately, but she looked away and replied stubbornly, "...she is not a servant."

Concubine Ning felt uncomfortable and puzzled, and asked, "Then what is she? Is it your relatives, your friend? Or your military advisor?"

"...No, neither."

"Then what is she?"

"She is..." Qu Shi was hit by this question for a moment, and then said slowly, "...the one who can listen to me."

Concubine Ning thought it was extremely absurd, she looked at Qu Shi again, "What are you talking about, Yue Ying? Do you know what you are talking about?"

"I know, of course I know." Qu's voice gradually calmed down, she stood up, and walked slowly towards the gate of the palace, "Some words may be a bit ridiculous... For more than a month, I still have the same headache , I have no appetite, I can't sleep well at night, I can't wake up during the day, but I think something has changed."

"What's the difference?"

"...What do you think?" Qu Shi turned around and looked at Concubine Ning calmly.

Ning Bin was silent for a moment.

She did feel something different, too, but it was too subtle to tell.

The previous Qu Shi was like an iron sword that was slowly rusting, but now she could very occasionally see some former sharpness in Qu Shi's eyes, as if the rust in the past was being slowly polished and polished.

But...that is only a very occasional moment, not for a long time-sometimes one day I feel that Qu Shi is better, and the next day Qu Shi is lying in Chengqian Palace and does not want to go out, and no one wants to see him.

"You may not know, after all, I haven't mentioned it to you." Qu said softly, "During this time, my mother and elder brother have sent me so many news. The emperor cut off their way to write letters, and they became In a way, say that my father is sick today, tomorrow that my mother has caught a cold, and how regretful Qu Xiu is, he has locked himself in the house for three or four days without eating..."

"Bah." Concubine Ning spat lightly.

Qu Shi was amused by Ning Bin's reaction, and after laughing, he sighed softly, leaning against the door, "...It's actually quite difficult."

"Did she refuse for you?" Concubine Ning asked.

Qu shook his head, "...how could Bo Ling have the position to do this? My family affairs can only be handled by myself, but this is the first time I have refused to give up an inch. No matter how earnestly they say, I will never obey If you accept everything, you will take everything apart and think about what these things are for..."

"You should let them have a taste of your power as soon as possible, take care of that stupid brother of yours, let them suffer from you, and they will know how powerful you are when they know your thunderous methods!"

"……I can not do it."

"You don't need to do it from the beginning, you are not in a good state now, just take it easy and wait until the future—"

"I can't do it." Qu Shi said again.

Concubine Ning looked at Qu's back, she was standing by the door alone, looking at the streamer in the distant sky, Concubine Ning suddenly felt that this scene was a bit sad.

"What I want the most over the years, I only really figured out recently." Qu said softly.

Concubine Ning frowned, "What is it?"

Qu didn't look back, "... When I was pregnant with A Tuo, I had a dream. I dreamed about my mother when I was a child. She waved to me with a smile in the dream, and asked me to help her to see it together. Pear blossoms in the yard."

"……and then?"

"We sat down on the stone steps in the yard. After a while, she let me rest on her lap. She patted my back and hummed a song to lull me to sleep. It was at this time that the pear blossoms fell. , fell on her shoulders, fell on me."

Qu took a deep breath, "...Actually, when I was very young, I heard that there was an orchard on Donglin Mountain, which was full of pear trees and peach trees. In spring, many people would enjoy flowers there. It’s beautiful. I pestered her for a while when I was a child and wanted to go with her, and she agreed, but in the end it was my elder brother who took me there. She didn’t have the mood to enjoy this kind of romance, and she would agree to me just on a whim. , I already knew.

"It was late spring when I went that time, the pear blossoms were almost in full bloom, and there was no one in the orchard. But I will never forget that day when I was standing under the tree, a gust of wind suddenly blew, and many petals fell on me," Qu said softly, "At that time, I was thinking that it would be great if my mother was here."

Qu looked back at Concubine Ning, "In the previous dream, when I was tired from running and rested on her lap, I heard her say to me, 'Moon Shadow has really helped me a lot these years'. As soon as she finished saying this, that dream woke up."

Concubine Ning thought for a while, "Do you want Mrs. Qu's approval...?"

Qu did not answer directly. She raised her head and said in a low voice, "I must be the person who understands her best in the world. Her heart is made of iron and stone. If you do well, she will feel that all this is reasonable." You should; but if you don't do well, you will definitely get a scolding.

"Once she treats you as one of her own, she will be very strict with you. Because that's how she treats herself. So I actually know that no matter how much I do, it is impossible to hear a single compliment from her..."

"Since you know, why-"

"Yeah, I know, but I just want it." Qu smiled bitterly, "I've been waiting for that sentence for so many years, I just want to hear her say 'she is really my good daughter', so I just I want her to say it, I have done so much, why can't she see it?"

Concubine Ning sighed, "Yueying, I've told you this many times, you're really...really too easy to get into a dead end."

Qu did not refute, she just smiled faintly, "I have talked about this dream with Bo Ling several times, and she asked me a question at that time, and we discussed it for a long time."

"……what?"

"She asked, if one day, my mother really gave this recognition, what would happen?"

Qu looked away, and looked at the courtyard of Chengqian Palace, "I seriously talked to her about all kinds of possibilities that day... If my mother can recognize me more, she won't be like this forever. choices. Always trying to tell me what is right and what is wrong.

"But really, I'm trying to get them to change, and they're trying to change me. It's the same thing. They attribute their misfortunes to my not being obedient enough, and I attribute my misfortunes to their being too controlling. , In this matter, I, like them, did not clearly distinguish who is responsible for a matter. I can be myself, and they can be unhappy, and no one needs to meet anyone's expectations. "

Qu Shi said softly, "This is the first thing I want to understand recently."

　Thank you for making me so mad that the nickname already exists and rquall for the reward~
　　
　
(End of this chapter)