Endless Debt.

Chapter 619 Burning Sea of ​​Flowers

The large library has enough space to accommodate other people. Everyone nestled in a comfortable position and flipped through the first draft of Irwin's new book. Apart from the sound of breathing, there was only the rustling of pages, which was rare. The tranquility soothed the soul, and the shock brought by the crazy and twisted freak show gradually faded away.

While others were reading Irwin's first draft, Irwin moved a chair and looked leisurely at the sea of ​​flowers outside the window. In this strange space, time seemed to be frozen. It should have passed since entering the big library It has been several hours, but the sky outside has not changed in the slightest.

Irwin began to wonder how this was done, could it be that like a stage play, a curtain beyond imagination covered everything.

The orange-red light ignited all the things illuminated by it. Irving liked this gorgeous and fiery red one very much, so he picked up a pen and described this scene in his notes.

Irwin has been writing, from stepping into the Happy Garden to the attack of the Dread Eater, he has never stopped writing. As he himself said, every character described will make his new book perfect.

Burrog put down the first draft, which had a lot of pages, and Burrog only read the first part, from Irving's departure from home to his boarding the train that changed his fate.

Judging from Irwin's behavior, the contents written in the first draft are all real events. Of course, this may also be part of Irwin's scam, but Burlogo did not dwell on it for too long.

If this is really a hoax, Bologo will admire Irwin instead. In order to deceive others, he wrote the first draft in advance, spent a long time maintaining this false illusion, and completely alienated himself into another person. Thinking of such psychological contradictions, Burlogo felt schizophrenic.

This reminds Burrog of an enemy he fought long ago...

Don't speculate on the authenticity of the first draft. Based on what was written in the first draft, Bologo understood the reason for all of Irving's actions, which surprised him.

"This isn't the first time you've been on the Paradise, is it?"

Burrog stood beside Irving, looking at the sea of ​​burning daisies with him.

Turning over a page in the first draft, Burlogo revealed a large section of text, "33 years ago, the train that came from the wilderness..."

In the first draft, Irwin did not write too much about what happened on the train, he only roughly described the experience on the train, but in this brief content, Burlogo could detect the existence of some clues.

Irwin deliberately omitted the story on the train, and it was on this train that he met the woman who runs through his works.

"What a beautiful color."

Irving didn't pay attention to Bologo's words. He took out a bottle of wine from somewhere, bit off the cork, and drank it on his own.

Under the pure orange-red light, the sea of ​​flowers is mixed with light yellow and bright green, and the gorgeous colors are softly mixed together, like large pieces of solidified gemstones, refracted by the afterglow of the sun, beautiful like an oil painting painted by a famous artist.

Irwin said, "I like sitting here in a daze at sunset in the afternoon. I can usually sit for a long time until it gets dark."

"33 years ago, you suffered a lot of setbacks and were abandoned by fate. In this desperate situation, you boarded the Paradise, and somehow, you actually left alive."

Bologo narrated in a cold tone, "Since then, you started chasing the extraordinary world... What you are really chasing is the Garden of Joy, the eternal life hidden in the Garden of Joy, what did you say to Noren for inspiration? , are all lies."

"It's not a lie, these inspirations really helped me write a good story," Irving looked away, "I just didn't tell the whole truth."

Irwin continued, "Sometimes I leave out things that don't matter."

"Listen, Irving, you don't understand, the devil..."

"Bologo."

Irwin's voice became harsh, and he interrupted Burrogo, and when Irwin continued, his serious expression suddenly softened again.

"I know what you want to say, and I also know what I'm going to face... Don't persuade me, I've been planning this trip for 33 years, do you think you can stop me with just a few words?"

"Is eternal life so important to you?"

Burrogo felt powerless. He couldn't understand why everyone was so obsessed with immortality, the traitorous elders, Thurley wasting his time in the club of the undead, and the deformed and crazy white gull.

They are all chasers of immortality, and some get what they want, others fail, but regardless of success or failure, the results of all this seem to be tragic.

"Actually, sometimes, I don't even know what I want."

Irwin's eyes were full of confusion, he shook his head, "I'm different from you, I'm not undead, I don't know what time is like in your eyes.

From my point of view, I am like a clay figurine piled up of silt, time is like a stream caressing my body, it eats up my body bit by bit. "

Irwin paused, smiling, "When I look back, there is only a small part of me left in the stream, and the rest has disappeared with the flowing water."

"What did I want ... who knows? That was 33 years ago, and looking back at it now, it feels like looking at another person's life."

Irwin asked, "Can you understand this feeling? Bologo, as an undead, you should feel it?"

"You have the same name, the same body, and experienced the same things as him, but you understand that you are not him anymore, and under the erosion of the years, you have completely become another person.

By the end, you even start to doubt the reality of the past, is that really me?Am I really going through all this?Or is this just a short dream one afternoon? "

Burrog fell silent, and Irwin's words reminded him of Sequoia Town, which should have been the most familiar thing to him, but it was covered with a lingering sense of strangeness.

"Look, you feel the same way, don't you?"

Irving noticed Burrog's micro-expression, and laughed excitedly like a child discovering a secret.

"Not only for eternal life, but also not only for the perfection of works.

I came back here to make sure my past life was real, to make sure that I had actually been here, to make sure that what I experienced wasn't some winter's nightmare. "

Irwin put the wine bottle on the edge of the chair, and he stared blankly at the burning sea of ​​flowers.

"I lost something here 33 years ago. I don't know what it is, but I always feel that when I come back here, I can find it again."

There was a long silence between the two, and Burlog felt his mind wavering, and he began to believe Irwin's words, the sincere, sincere words.

For a long time, Bologo felt that Irving was moving forward with some kind of interest, but now it seemed that he felt a sense of romance in Irving.

To Burlogo, such romance seemed silly, but he didn't dislike it.

"The devil is contradictory."

Suddenly, Bologo talked about the devil, "Just like what we are facing now, the witch of lust."

"She will send down blessings for her followers, this blessing will convert all strong emotions into happiness, and the simplest and most efficient form of conversion is to feel pain.

Sounds great, right?All complex emotions are stripped away, leaving only absolute happiness. "

Burrog recalled the enemies he fought with, and their painful and joyful expressions appeared in his mind. Through those tired eyes, Burrog could see the numb soul.

"Pleasure has a threshold. At the beginning, a little joy is enough to satisfy, but as more joy is absorbed, the emptiness in my heart will become extremely huge."

Just like the mania that plagues all soul-impaired.

"So they start to seek more intense sensory stimulation, more intense pain to obtain more intense pleasure, the threshold will be raised indefinitely, and under the infinite cycle, only emptiness and numbness are left."

"It's bad fun, isn't it? As a believer who seeks pleasure, what he ends up with is pale numbness."

"Are you trying to say that deals with the devil often don't go your way?" Irving said.

"Probably," Bologo was not sure, "I don't know much about the devil, and I don't know whether this kind of undesired effect also affects the devil.

After all, if devils can be satisfied, they will not try their best to use that kind of deformed means to satisfy their pleasure and obtain the soul of a mortal. "

"It sounds like the devil is no different from us mortals. They are all driven by some kind of force and become slaves to something."

Irwin continued, "Are you trying to say that I'll end up getting what I want too?"

"No, who knows what will happen after that?"

Burrogo said frankly, "I was confused for a while before, and even doubted myself. Unlike your pursuit of nobility, I don't have such high demands on myself. I don't even expect myself to be a good person under worldly values."

"Then what do you want to be?"

"A man who never disappoints himself."

Bologo continued, "But I became an undead... I kept thinking, what did I do in that memory that I lost?
Am I really wishing to be undead because I am afraid of death?If not, is my immortality also the result of some kind of unintended desire, a distorted wish? "

Burrogo took a deep breath. When he hardly discussed these things with others, "I'm afraid of disappointing myself, just like you are afraid of being no longer noble."

The conversation fell silent again unconsciously, which reminded Burlogo of holiday afternoons when he and Palmer would often lie on the sofa like this, chatting without a word, killing time.

"Thank you, thank you for talking to me about this," Irwin broke the silence, "does this count as us beginning to trust each other?"

"That's right, and some sympathy."

Bologo narrowed his eyes and recalled the past, "I participated in the Scorched Earth Wrath, and I made a group of friends during the war, although most of them have passed away now."

Irwin didn't show too much surprise. From when Burlogo said his centenary birthday, he roughly deduced Burlogo's age.

"There is a friend among them, his name is Dennis, he and I come from the same small town, our age difference is not too much, I have always regarded him as my brother, when the war came, he joined the army with me, In a small chat, he and I talked about something similar."

Burrog remembered the days when he was huddled in the trenches. Dennis would follow him no matter what he said, saying that he had promised his parents to protect himself.

"Dennis said that in the previous 30 years of his life, he had been an idle bastard in the small town, enjoying beating children every day, but now he has become a soldier, strict with himself, for some noble cause. Things dance with death, it's like two completely different lives."

"I think it's inevitable that with time and experience, we will always be very different."

Irving praised himself as he spoke, "In the face of this situation, wouldn't it be more precious to be able to maintain the stupid stubbornness of youth."

Bologo saw Irwin's stubbornness, "Have you always been so good at comforting yourself?"

"It can only be said that my world view has been completely finalized," Irwin is very satisfied with this, "so I am invincible."

Bologo smiled helplessly. He seemed to have no other choice but to witness all this to the end. Not to mention, after talking with Irving, Bologo actually had a feeling for what Irving was about to do. curious.

He wants to know how the story ends.

Burlogo asked, "Don't you need a cure?"

"I'm not injured," Irwin shook his head. "It's time to rest, Bologo. There is still a long way to go."

Burrog paused, and asked unwillingly, "Irving, what did you experience in the Paradise 33 years ago?"

Irving shook his head with a smile, this is his own secret.

The big library was quiet. During the conversation between the two, the others had already fallen asleep due to exhaustion. Seeing this, Bologo stopped asking too much and walked into the bookshelf.

Irwin moved his eyes to the sea of ​​flowers again. He liked the magnificent color, rubbed his fingers slightly, and there was a faint pain on it. During the battle with the monster, Irwin was accidentally scratched by the monster, but Strangely, apart from the pain, there was no wound on his hand.

A rustling sound sounded from behind, and from the corner of his sight, Cinderella sneaked over. Irwin knew that she was hiding behind the bookshelf and overheard the conversation between him and Burrog.

"He really is a guy who lacks romance."

Cinderella peeked towards the direction where Burlogo was leaving, and then she blinked at Irwin with a weird look.

"You've made your intentions so obvious, hasn't he noticed?"

"Maybe my idea is too stupid, so stupid that even if Burlogo thought of it, he would just ignore it."

Irwin looked at the girl, and he was not surprised that Cinderella could guess his thoughts, "This feeling is too bad, like my little secret has been discovered, but I didn't expect this time, I still feel ashamed...

I shouldn't have told you so much. "

Cinderella completely ignored Irwin's complicated thoughts. She held up the draft, tried to suppress her shocked emotions and voice, and screamed in Irwin's ear.

"My God! Irving, you're in love with a devil!"

　The calf is finished, and the fever reaches 40 degrees in the middle of the night. The whole person is like a molten core. I am afraid it is not sent, but the antigen is negative. I will observe it for a day.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)