Buddhist small green plum

Chapter 367
In this life with me, with eyes open and eyes closed, there is darkness.

When I was five years old, I started to remember things. In my memory, it was Ms. Cui Yu who sent me to school to study, but the teacher at the school only took one look and waved his hand and refused to accept it.

Ms. Cui Yu was sad when she saw it, but there was nothing she could do. Later, she visited many teaching and educating places, but they all refused to accept me, and no one was willing to accept me.

I sat in the car with downcast eyebrows and waited, oh, maybe not waiting, because what I usually do most is to be in a daze, they say that I am immersed in my own world, I don’t know if I have a world, I only know that there is a world in my mind. blank.

After a while, Ms. Cui Yu came over and called me by my name through the car glass.

"Xiaoyan, Xiaoyan, Xiaoyan, Xiaoyan..."

One by one, very patient.

I recovered from my contemplation, and it took me a long time to turn my head and look at her.

Even this small change is enough for Ms. Cui Yu to shed tears of joy. I can't understand her emotions.

Through the car window, I occasionally recovered from my contemplation, and sometimes I would look outside, and I would always see Ms. Cui Yu earnestly persuading the school to accept me.

In the eyes of Ms. Cui Yu, I am a special child, a very smart child.

I don't know why she has this idea, is it because I am 3 years old that I can talk?

This time Ms. Cui Yu found a teacher who was willing to teach me, and he also praised me as a very smart child.

I looked down at an unknown place, and vaguely heard the word 'smart', and when I looked up again, I saw that Ms. Cui Yu had already burst into tears.

I don't have any emotions, but I don't understand why Ms. Cui Yu loves to cry so much?

In the later days, I started to study with that very old teacher. He loved teaching me mathematics the most, and he only taught me this student. He taught some very simple things, and he almost didn’t need him to finish. You can fill in the answer.

I looked up occasionally, and every time I could see surprise and surprise in the eyes of the teacher. He had only taught me for two or three years, and he told Ms. Cui Yu that he was too old to teach me.

He also specifically asked Ms. Cui Yu to help me find a good school and a good teacher to study hard. Finally, he told Ms. Cui Yu in a deep voice, if I have always been so smart, I will definitely make a difference in mathematics in the future.

Because I was the smartest and most mathematically gifted student he had taught in all his years of teaching.

I heard the words he said verbatim, and I just found it ridiculous.

A child like me can't even be considered normal, so can he still be among the ranks of geniuses?

Ms. Cuiyu took what he said seriously, and she couldn't help crying again, emphasizing that these were tears of joy.

I don't know what method Ms. Cui Yu used. I went to school as I wished and studied with many children of the same age.

I don't think there's anything good about studying at school, and I don't think there's anything bad about studying at school. It's just that I'm still alone, and I don't have friends, and I don't need friends.

I know that many classmates say that I am a fool behind my back.

A fool is a fool, there is nothing wrong with it.

Time flies, and when I was 13, I saw the exact same light in a girl that I saw in me.

Gray, depressing and unbearable light.

I am familiar with this light because I have seen it more than once in myself when I look in the mirror.

I thought I was supposed to be special because no one else had this light until I saw her.

In the sea of ​​people, I inexplicably started to pay attention to her.

I know her name is Li Qingran, a very optimistic girl.

It turns out that she is different from me...

Until one day, I don't know what happened, I saw her squatting under the old tree crying, crying very sadly.

By coincidence, I walked over.

I walked over but didn't know what to do, I could only see that the gray light on her body seemed to be more intense.

In the end, I didn't go close to her, because if I was one step closer to her, I would physically repel her.

I didn't like the uncomfortable feeling of rejection, so I chose to stay away from her, and I had nowhere to go, so I just found a quiet place to hide.

But the hiding place is very quiet on weekdays, but it was not quiet that day, because a boy who seemed to be the same age as me squatted there crying.

When Xu Shi saw me coming, his crying became weaker, and after an unknown amount of time, the boy began to mutter to himself, muttering that he was hungry, very hungry, too tired, and didn’t want to live anymore...

I was wondering why the gray light on Li Qingran's body became heavier, but even when I heard him say this, I didn't take it to heart.

It can be seen that Li Qingran is working hard to fight against the unfair fate, her eyes are firm and unyielding.

That indomitable spirit only lasted for two or three years. In my first year of high school, I represented the school in a competition. Since then, no one called me a fool. I heard them call me Ji Shen.

Ah!Things like fate are really ridiculous.

Three years later, I finally plucked up the courage to appear under that old tree again, but there was still an inexplicable physical repulsion. This time Li Qingran saw me, and she knew me because she also called me Jishen.

Look indifferent and alienated.

Most of the time the two of us are in a daze quietly without interfering with each other. I suddenly feel that such days are also very beautiful. At least I have found someone who is in the same world as me.

Until I saw a young man who came to look for Li Qingran, he also had a light on his body, that light was not gray, but pure white, I knew him and knew his name was Xie Ying'an.

Xie Ying'an looked at me with guarded eyes, and when they turned to leave, I heard him tell Li Qingran not to come here in the future.

Li Qingran seemed to listen to him very much, but he seldom came over afterwards.

During the time when I couldn't see Li Qingran, I fell into a predicament. I knew that I was trapped in a sea of ​​suffering.

I locked myself in the room, fighting needlessly against the raging sea of ​​bitterness.

Ms. Cui Yu was crying beside me, she thought my condition was getting worse.

Maybe, I was taken abroad by her for treatment.

It has been three years since I came back, and the first thing I did when I came back was to find Li Qingran.

Something happened to Li Qingran. She was lying on the hospital bed with a tube inserted into her body, her eyes were closed tightly, and she was lifeless.

I stood at the door of the ward and stared at her for a long time, only to feel that my chest was heavy and unbearable.

After a long time, I walked into the ward and asked her: "Have you... worked so hard to get rid of your fate?"

no answer.

I have no physical rejection of her, and she will never answer my questions again.

In my life, no one is willing to come to me, but if I want to go to someone, I need to spend my whole life.

Until I saw the light in my life.

Everything else is black and white, but she is gray, and I feel like she is shining brightly.

I tried my best to run towards that light, but I have been used to meekness all my life, even if I quicken my pace, the light won't wait for me, and I can't catch up.

There seemed to be an insurmountable gully between me and her.

Later, I heard that Li Qingran had an inescapable relationship with the woman next to Xie Ying'an.

Nothing to do, just avenge Li Qingran.

So, I started to try my best to get in trouble with them.

A few years later, I had a dream. In the dream, I was just the villain in a book who promoted the marriage plot of the hero and heroine...

At this moment, I suddenly realized.

Oh, it turns out that I am an abandoned child in the author's writing.

No wonder!
　Thanks to the little fairies for accompanying me all the way, we are destined to see you~
　　
　
(End of this chapter)