mortal train conductor

Chapter 83
The fortune-teller endured as much as he could, seeing that the two had quietly walked away two steps. If they didn't stop them, they might run away holding their day's income. The fortune-teller finally couldn't bear it anymore, and he didn't He hurriedly took off his sunglasses, stood up, and yelled: "Stop, bring it back to me! You two bad boys! You are not afraid of being struck by lightning. Do you know who I am?"

Seeing that the fortune teller also took off his sunglasses, his eyes stopped turning white, and he glared at the two of them angrily. Liu Qun and Wang Jian stood in place, couldn't help but looked at each other and smiled, Liu Qun said: "Oh, master, you are not Do you know that 500 years later, then have you counted, such a thing will happen today?"

Anyway, it's not that he really wants to covet his jar of change.Seeing the fortune teller blowing his beard and staring, he no longer had the fairy-like appearance he pretended just now, but was on the verge of going berserk. Liu Qun and Wang Jian came back in a funny way, and put The jar was handed back to the fortune teller.

When the fortune teller saw the pot in his hand, he was in a better mood and more confident. After all, he is also an old Jianghu, and he is very good at speaking. If he speaks a fool, he just opens his mouth: "You are still naive, many reasons are not allowed. It's rumored, since I'm in a good mood today, let me reveal some secrets to you for free!

Look around you, those who build houses every day, must be able to live in high-rise buildings?Those who raise silkworms every day must be able to wear silk and satin?Have you ever seen the best barber cut your own hair?Have you ever seen the best surgeon operate on himself?
Taking a step back, and then again, you say, do doctors not understand health care knowledge?Don't you know how to prevent diseases?It can be said that they are the people who know best, so why are there so many doctors who died suddenly?In reality, there are quite a few doctors who are ineffective in resuscitation after illness. Could it be because of this that you can say that his medical skills are not good, and how do you know how many people he has saved on a daily basis?
After all.The same is true for fortune-telling. To paraphrase a common saying in the medical field, it is called "doctors do not heal themselves", and fortune-tellers cannot do their own calculations!Do you know?It seems that you two boys are ignorant and incompetent people, so come to my celestial master and follow me. "

Wang Jian said: "Fortune teller, this is your fault. If it weren't for the two of us coming today, would you be so happy? Take off your glasses and see the sun."

"Don't call me a fortune teller, that's what I called it decades ago, we are now called 'fortune tellers'!" said the fortune teller confidently.

"You two quickly disappear in front of me, or be careful and I will invite Tianlei to teach you a lesson!"

Liu Jiqun said: "Are you still the reincarnation of Lei Gong? You haven't settled for the two of us yet, why should you let us disappear?"

Wang Jian said: "Come, come, give me a thunder, now, hurry up, I can't wait, how about this, as long as you can make the sky thunder, I will give you [-], how about it?"

The fortune-teller cupped his hands and bowed to the two of them and said, "Okay, okay, I have convinced you two. Are you two here to play games? Seeing that you two are strangers, I have not offended you." You guys? Is there anything I did wrong, if you show it, I will follow up!" The fortune teller now speaks like a gangster.

Wang Jian widened his eyes and said, "You didn't offend us, so why did you call me here just now?"

The fortune teller said helplessly: "Forget my poor eyesight, I misjudged the wrong person, I'm really sorry, you treat me like a fart, let me go."

Liu Qun said: "No, have you ever heard of a common saying called 'It's easier to invite God than to send God away'? Now we have invited our two great gods here, and we will leave if we are told to leave. Do you think it is possible? Is it? Come when you ask, and go when you wave? Do you think you are throwing beans?"

The fortune-teller looked at them helplessly, and said, "OK, if you don't leave, I'll leave. I'll leave this place to you." As he said that, he rolled up to the divination booth and left with a small bench.

Liu Qun said: "Hey, don't go, let me tell you the truth, we are traveling together, how about I make a fortune for you?"

The fortune teller said: "Don't run on me, I know you are masters, let's go our separate ways, you take your Yangguan Road, I cross my single-plank bridge, you two don't stay here It will affect my business, okay?"

Liu Qun said directly: "Hey, judging by your face, you are now in a dilemma of 'two tigers competing for food'. Looking out of the corner of your eyes, you can see that you are still 'destroyed'."

The fortune teller was stunned, and said: "We have different interests in the same industry, and we are enemies in the same industry, so don't bully me. These ambiguous words, can't we both say a hundred or eighty words with one mouth? You go down!" One sentence, is there a villain beside me?"

Liu Qun said to Wang Jian: "Everyone may compete with others in work and life, and everyone may encounter some unsatisfactory things. How can a person live smoothly in society?" Two tigers snatch food' and 'death offender peach blossom' are the words they use the most. Normally, like him, they should first shout people over. They guess the reaction based on their facial expressions, and then leave the person who yelled at them. After knowing what the other party wants to ask, they deliberately say the opposite, cheating him, and putting on airs when he is panicked. Discount your own Yangshou, and then pretend to be mysterious and say the way to crack it."

The fortune teller gave Liu Qun a thumbs up: "Incisive and classic, you are really a master of my generation, that's what you mean, who did you learn from?"

Liu Qun smiled and said, "I learned from Li Ji and Li Xin."

The fortune teller asked again: "Where is this expert?"

Liu Qun said: "The two of them talk about cross talk, and I learned it from cross talk. The cross talk "Fortune Teller" that the two of them talked about is basically the same as your performance."

"All right, all right, both of you are masters, hold your hands high, hold your hands high, hurry up and do your work, I see that you are also busy with big things."

When Liu Qun and Wang Jian were about to leave, they saw a large "scooter" rowing towards them. A middle-aged man was lying on the "scooter", with his left hand wearing a leather glove, pushing on the ground like rowing a boat. Covered from the waist down with a dilapidated quilt, he looks like a disabled person, holding a stainless steel fast food cup in his right hand, with one dollar coins and banknotes in it, pushing the skateboard and walking, while weighing the fast food cup up and down , the coins inside collided with a "squeak" sound.

The fortune teller looked at the skateboarder with envy and envy, and said to Liu Qun and Wang Jian, "The rich, they must be rich. They can earn at least 2000 yuan a day. With an income of five to six thousand a day, the work is simple and there is no need to fool around, earning more than me."

Liu Qun said: "You envy others, you go to do this, the investment is small, you can buy a skateboard for 50 yuan, and while playing skateboard, you can earn a lot of money at the same time, how good it is."

The fortune teller sighed and said, "Oh, I still can't let go of this old face, envy, jealousy, hatred, it's really thick-skinned enough, thin-skinned enough. Sometimes when I have nothing to do, I observe carefully and find those For the clients of beggars, the more they are part-time workers, the more soft-hearted they are. Not giving money to beggars is like a conscience. On the contrary, if they meet bosses and management personnel, they are all smart people and basically ignore them. Those personnel, with a clear heart, know that they are liars, and giving them money is not a charity, but being cheated."

Liu Qunxin said: You said that he is a liar, isn't that pointing at the monk and scolding the bald donkey?

Wang Jian said: "No one cares about them. They ruin the image of our city. Isn't it enough to go to the relief station?"

"They don't go to the rescue station. If they go to the rescue station, they will give them food and clothing. How can this profession make a lot of money. Alas, I have also seen that the police have taken care of him, and he is not allowed to beg here, but when he touches him, he cheats. , sometimes laying down on the ground, spitting at people, and the police are not good at enforcing the law. I traveled all over the world and went to many train stations, but one station was the best, Xzhou East Station, and I saw beggars The staff, the loudspeaker broadcasts in a loop: Don’t pay attention to beggars, his family has 4 suites, and his life is better than yours. So it is impossible to have beggars at that station, and it’s useless to go.” The fortune teller said with emotion.

Liu Qun winked at Wang Jian, meaning to start shooting.Wang Jian nodded to show his understanding.

It seems that the people on the scooter are very familiar with these fortune tellers, they slid over from a distance, and nodded to these people.

Liu Qun saw the torn quilt covering the lower body of the scooter, with a section of trousers exposed, and a prank idea emerged in his mind.

"Do you want us to leave quickly?" The fortune teller said, "I've convinced you both, so you two should leave quickly, or should I give you some money?"

Liu Qun said: "There is no need for the group to give you money. Do me a favor and we will leave right away so that your money will not be delayed."

The fortune teller nodded hurriedly: "Ah, okay, don't say a favor, you can ask me to help you as much as you want, you two, hurry up, hurry up and go."

The fortune teller wanted to send Liu Qun and the others away like sending off the plague god.

"See, you know the person on the scooter, let him come to you, just say a few words to him casually, and we'll leave after you finish talking to him."

At this time, the fortune teller was sitting on a small bench, Liu Qun was sitting on a small bench, opposite the fortune teller, and Wang Jian was squatting on the ground, facing the direction of the scooter to shoot.

The scooter slid forward unhurriedly, and when it was about seven or eight meters away from the fortune-teller, the fortune-teller said loudly: "Oh, who the hell, please come here."

The person on the scooter didn't know what the fortune teller asked him for, but it seemed that the two of them knew each other very well. The person on the scooter said, "What are you doing? You want to give me a fortune telling! Am I lucky?"

The fortune teller only wanted to send Liu Qun and Wang Jian away as soon as possible, so in desperation he had no choice but to chat with him: "You are destined to be rich and powerful, you must be a bright star today, and you will make a lot of money every day!"

Just as he was talking, the scooter slid behind Liu Qun, and he was face to face with the fortune teller.

The fortune teller asked, "How is business today?"

The person on the scooter said: "It's okay today. Recently, many people don't carry change when they go out. It's difficult to do business. I'm thinking of pasting the entire QR code on the back so that people can scan the code to pay."

Liu Qun winked at Wang Jian calmly, and Wang Jian walked away knowingly, because the mobile phone camera has limitations after all, if it is too close, the angle of the camera will be very small, Wang Jian retreated about In three or four steps, I stood on the right side behind the fortune teller, facing Liu Qun and the scooter, so that I could capture the whole scene.

While the people on the scooter were chatting with the fortune teller, Liu Qun took a closer look at the position of the trouser leg of the scooter that was dragged on the ground. He moved the small bench while pretending to stretch, and secretly used one leg of the small bench to hold it down. He took off the half of his trousers, and then sat up hard, pressing down on the small bench firmly.

No one knew what Liu Qun was thinking, and the fortune teller didn't know what medicine he was selling in his gourd.

At this time, Liu Qun winked at the fortune teller again, and the fortune teller said, "Oh, then go to business quickly, and I wish you good luck!"

After the person on the scooter bid farewell to the fortune teller, his left hand wearing a glove slammed on the ground, and the scooter slid forward.

At this time, an accident happened. Liu Qun's small bench was firmly pressing on his trouser legs, but who knew that his trousers were not the kind with a belt, but were fixed with elastic bands similar to sports pants. Tight, when his car slipped violently, the trousers were pressed down, and suddenly the trousers and the half of the lower body tore the quilt and stayed on the spot, while the scooter slid forward with the person on it About one meter away, the person on the scooter was not wearing underwear, and suddenly a pair of big white TUI and TUN were exposed. The person on the scooter was suddenly frightened and jumped up. About three months had passed by this time. Four seconds or so, and Liu Qun had already stood behind the fortune teller, as if nothing had happened.

The man on the scooter glared at the fortune-teller and said, "What are you doing?" As he spoke, he walked back to get his half torn quilt and the pair of elastic pants.

The fortune teller didn't expect such an accident, and he watched the man on the scooter put on his pants in front of him, dumbfounded.But the fortune teller is worthy of being an old Jianghu, and said quickly: "Ah, accident, accident, this is purely accidental, your trousers are hanging on my little bench."

The person on the scooter said angrily: "Come here and do me a favor, and after he finished speaking, he lay on the special large scooter again.

The fortune teller said, "How can I help? Give you a push?"

"No, you help me cover the quilt." After the person on the scooter got on the scooter, he asked the fortune teller to cover him with half of the torn quilt on his legs, and slid forward again.

The fortune teller let out a sigh of relief, looked around in a daze, and found that Liu Qun and Wang Jian had disappeared
(End of this chapter)