Father's Land Mother's River

Chapter 75 Assumptions and Illusions

About a week later, Liu Xiaonan and the textile factory re-signed a labor contract: the textile factory will retain Liu Xiaonan's current job position and labor treatment, and Liu Xiaonan will go to college with pay, and must return to work in the textile factory after graduation.Otherwise, it will be dealt with as a breach of contract and compensate the textile factory for all economic losses.
The factory director said to Liu Xiaonan: "The members of the factory's leadership team have high expectations for you, and there are almost no different opinions. I believe that you will live up to the common expectations of the cadres and workers of the factory. The attic in the dormitory is still yours. You need a quiet space for writing and writing. You work until the end of this month, and I will give you an extra month to deal with personal matters and experience the summer life of the university in advance. Do you have any other specific requirements?"

The conditions are already good enough, Liu Xiaonan is very grateful, how can there be any extra request.Before, Gu Yu took him to visit the leaders of the factory separately, and Gu Yu and her father could not be ruled out as factors here.But after all, it was resolved smoothly, and he didn't have any worries at all. He could easily enter the university and continue to pursue his literary dream.

However, Liu Xiaonan didn't expect that the reason why he was given an extra month of vacation was because someone was eager to take his place in the Youth League Committee.However, these office competitions and personnel disputes have nothing to do with him.

The celebrations continued one after another, and both Liu Xiaonan and Gu Yu appeared on many occasions.Wang Aiqing and the elder brother from the countryside invited them to their home and expressed their blessings in advance; Yu Zhiyong, Wang Ping, Guan Xiaoyun, Dong Xiaojun and the "boss" and "second" formed a rural group and booked two tables in the restaurant. Out of admiration and saving face, Gu Yu's friends took the two of them out for a day out; near the end of the month, all colleagues from the Youth League Committee had a dinner together to see Liu Xiaonan off.

At the end of July, Liu Xiaonan completed the work handover procedures and officially prepared to go to university.He planned to go home for a few days and go to the mine where his father worked for a field trip.He has always remembered what Mr. Zhao said, and he accidentally touched a major theme: the environment, the impact of the natural environment on human destiny and life.

How should he describe it, but he has not found a breakthrough. He wants to go to the mine to experience the harsh environment that made his mother give up the idea of ​​reuniting with his father.My father will be retiring in more than a year, and there is still plenty of time. If I don't go now, when will I stay?
However, Liu Xiaonan couldn't just walk away and leave all the difficulties to Gu Yu to solve alone.Gu Yu's father is arranging for him to attend the youth cadre training class. If he knows that he is going to go to college, he does not know what decision he will make.

Gu Yu said that she had her own solution, but he didn't quite believe it. She dared not tell her parents about his going to college so far. What better solution could she have?

Liu Xiaonan suggested to Gu Yu that it is better to let him have a face-to-face talk with her parents, there is no need to hide anything, and to ask her parents for their understanding.Going to university may not necessarily turn people into nerds. I have no intention of career, and I may not be unable to succeed in other fields.

This is before going home, at Gu Yu's residence, the two are discussing countermeasures in the face of an increasingly pressing dilemma.

"Do you think my father is still the same as when he was sent to the countryside?" Gu Yu leaned on Liu Xiaonan's lap, lay flat on the sofa, closed her eyes, looking very tired.She said: "The older you get, the more stubborn you become. If you go against his wishes, if you talk to him face to face, he will definitely be furious and drive you out of the house. In that case, our relationship will be completely dead end, with no hope at all." , not to mention that my mother didn't like you."

Liu Xiaonan hugged Gu Yu's head, gently stroked her cheeks, and rubbed the center of her slightly frowning brows, feeling very painful in her heart.He knew how difficult it must be for her, but he had nothing to do. It was not that he had never thought of giving up, but he was reluctant to let go, and that would be another kind of harm to her.

He insisted: "I'd better go see your parents, I'd rather be scolded than run away."

"Stop talking, I'm annoyed." Gu Yu screamed, stretched out his hands and waved them, slapping and scratching at Liu Xiaonan's face.

She understands the crux of the problem too well. Her brother, sister and brother-in-law, including herself, are all walking the same path, which is the continuation of her father's second life.Liu Xiaonan walked into the house in her current capacity, she would only bring shame on herself.

Liu Xiaonan didn't evade, he felt that this was what he should and must bear.When Gu Yu is willful, she will show a lively and lovely side, and she will be integrated with the little girl in her memory.

She should have been happy and carefree, but I let her fall into endless troubles and worries.

Gu Yu stopped when he was tired and said, "You can go to study at ease, and I will solve the rest of the problems."

In fact, she has no better way to communicate with her parents.I can only procrastinate, procrastinate indefinitely, and only hope that Liu Xiaonan can really return her a big tree.

Liu Xiaonan held Gu Yu's hands and said, "If you really have a solution, why would you be so tired and worried?"

Gu Yu complained: "Aside from saying these useless things, what else can you say?"

Don't say it, don't say it!While warning herself, Liu Xiaonan couldn't control the impulse in her heart, and blurted out the words that had been suppressed for a long time: "I have thought about something for a long time, maybe we are all dragged down by a kind of assumption and illusion. Maybe Guan Xiaoyun is right. The reason why she can't make out is because since you left the countryside, I have been unconsciously treating you as a goddess. I always advertise that you gave me the dream of literature. This is just a dream of my youth. Wishful thinking and illusions. You have also been led into the trap of this assumption and illusion by me, and you cannot extricate yourself from the quagmire."

Gu Yu sat up suddenly, and stared at Liu Xiaonan sharply: "What are you trying to say?"

Once the words are spoken, they are like poured water, and it is impossible to take them back.Liu Xiaonan steadied her nerves, and simply broke through the puzzle, asking herself and asking rhetorically: "If there were no such assumptions and illusions, would we still fall in love? At least I wouldn't."

"Do you still want to say that you shouldn't come to the textile factory, even if we come, we shouldn't meet each other, even if we meet, we will only maintain the friendship of our youth, why bother to love each other in assumptions and illusions?" Gu Yu grabbed Liu Xiaonan and let her go The backpack next to the sofa, swung it up and threw it at Liu Xiaonan: "I'm awake now, thank you. Get out, get out immediately."

Liu Xiaonan walked towards the door with her backpack in her arms, stopped at the door, put down her backpack and came back, and said forcefully: "Why do you ask me to come and I have to come, and I have to get out if you tell me to go? You can't be too domineering, especially It's a girl. Even if you don't love each other anymore, I'm still your little brother."

At the door, he glanced at his watch, it was already past ten o'clock at night, where is there a bus?
Gu Yu ignored Liu Xiaonan, didn't even look at him, got up, went into the bathroom and closed the door to wash up.She turned on the faucet to wash her face, covered her face with her hands while washing, and sobbed softly, tears of sadness, grievance and resentment flowed down the cracks between her fingers.

Liu Xiaonan is too cruel, why should he ruthlessly break this wonderful dream?
Ever since they met in the textile factory, she was indeed moved by the little girl Liu Xiaonan described in his mind. Knowing that the me at this time is not the me at that time, she can't help but immerse herself in a self-woven dream.

Now, the waves hit the reef, shattering the dream and waking up.It turned out that he not only deceived himself, but also others, for so long.

She let go of her hands to stop her tears, wiped her face with a towel, stroked the hair on her forehead, and looked at herself seriously in the mirror.

Why would a girl with a strong family background, intelligence, rationality, beauty, extraordinary abilities and a bright future be blinded by a wild kid from the countryside?Why should he be fettered by his legs?Why pay all your emotions for him?

Gu Yu washed for a long time, and the sound of rushing water was intermittent.

Liu Xiaonan sat on the sofa dull, remorseful but suddenly enlightened.People should not move forward with a heavy shell on their backs like a snail.

A little girl's unintentional sentence did open a door for herself, and it could also become her lifelong dream, but it should not be a tool for emotional kidnapping.

That little girl had long forgotten what she had said, and he had artificially imposed a shimmering and extremely heavy halo on her, like a magic spell on Sun Monkey's head.If each other can let go of all these, the road of life may not be easy or spacious.

After Gu Yu finished washing, she went back to her room and changed into a pale yellow gauze pajamas, walked into the living room blithely, stood in front of Liu Xiaonan, and drank from a water glass as if no one else was around.When the glass of water bottomed out, he gently put down the water glass, went straight back to his room, and lay down on the bed with all four limbs flat to sleep.

Liu Xiaonan rubbed her eyes, almost blinded by Gu Yu's open and hot attire, almost pierced in the heart by Gu Yu's rare cold expression.

He simply washed up, then quietly walked to another room and lay down, staring at the darkness with his eyes open, his limbs were cold and hot, sore and swollen, as if lying on a nail board.

He has slept in this small room in Gu Yu's residence many times, and he has never suffered as much as he does now.

In the hot summer, you can sleep with the windows and doors open naturally, and the doors in the room are all open to let the cool draft drive away the heat.The night is deep, the heat dissipates, and people should fall asleep.

Perhaps, this is the last time to sleep in this room.Liu Xiaonan tossed and turned, her eye sockets were sunken, her eyeballs were protruding, her eyes were astringent and swollen like a fire, and her brain was a mess of porridge.

This is the third time he has let go.The first time was with Guan Xiaoyun, after he broke off the engagement privately, he felt extremely relaxed; the second time was with Wu Yanli, he was unable to give the other party a stable life, although he regretted it, he had no regrets.

This time, he voluntarily backed down. This had nothing to do with morality. He would not talk nonsense for the happiness of the other party in order to whitewash himself.It is true that when encountering a hurdle that cannot be overcome, the body and mind are exhausted and hopeless.

Knowing that it is impossible to do it, is it a brave man or a reckless man?Is open-minded or stubborn?Is it to retreat bravely or to forge ahead?

A slight sound of footsteps sounded from the opposite room, like a cat catching a mouse sneaking at night, running straight towards him and stopping in front of his bed.He closed his eyes and held his breath. His limbs were stiff and he didn't dare to move. He only felt that the shadow around him was like a black cloud, which was suffocating.

Gu Yu stood upright beside Liu Xiaonan, her breathing was short and her palms were itchy.She knew that he was pretending to be asleep, and she really wanted to beat him up and down to relieve her hatred.

She lay on the bed and seriously reflected on what Liu Xiaonan had said. Could it be that everything that happened was a hypothesis and an illusion?Even if the lifelong dream she gave him is a false proposition, their childhood friendship is real, his pursuit and progress in literature is real, and their respective contributions to love are also real.

She firmly believes that if she is a girl from an ordinary family, their love will definitely blossom and bear fruit, and they will enter the palace of marriage happily.She suddenly realized that he was looking for excuses for being weak and escaping.

Everyone has their weaknesses, not to mention the disparity in family background?

coward!Gu Yu angrily lay down next to Liu Xiaonan, clinging to his fiery body.It was out of anger, she wanted to see if he would be indifferent, if he would be willing to leave her.

What does she want to do?Liu Xiaonan trembled all over, trying to control the impulse in her heart.Feelings are deeply involuntary, but they must be restrained.If a man's belt is as smooth as a silk scarf around a woman's neck, then he is not worthy of being a real man.

Must escape!Just as Liu Xiaonan stood up, Gu Yu's arm was tightly wrapped around her neck, and her soft voice was like a dream: "Don't move, this is a dream, a hypothesis and an illusion."

"But there are no tabby cats among us." Liu Xiaonan was so entangled by Gu Yu that she couldn't hold herself back, she let out a low growl and sat up suddenly.

Gu Yu immediately sat up, wrapped her arms around Liu Xiaonan's neck tightly, and kissed him: "I love you"

Is it to cut first and play later, or to cook the raw rice into mature rice?Is this what she called her own way?An old and downright stupid way.

Grandma wanted to elope with Mr. Guan, but the two of them were burdened with emotional debts all their lives and could not repay until they died; the uncle and Erya paid the price for their ignorance and impulsiveness, and as a result, one was beaten half to death, and the other was forced to marry far away.

What age is it now, the word love has long been a commonplace in people's mouths, if it is not forced by the situation, how can a smart girl become so childish?How could such a bad idea be used?

Liu Xiaonan opened Gu Yu's arm, pressed her shoulders with both hands, and said sharply, "Sit down for me."

Liu Xiaonan's stern reprimand might be heard far, far away in this silent night.Gu Yu was frightened, even in the dark and couldn't see his facial expression clearly, she could still feel the irresistible majesty, so she sat obediently on the bed.

Sitting cross-legged across from Gu Yu, Liu Xiaonan said in a low voice, "In [-], I resumed classes at No. [-] Middle School in Fuzhou City."

"I don't listen to your stories." Gu Yu reached out to cover Liu Xiaonan's mouth.

"You have to listen." Liu Xiaonan grabbed Gu Yu's hands, without any emotion, and said slowly: "One morning, I was going to recite my texts outside the city, and I passed by a garbage dump, and saw someone abandoned there. A naked dead baby. The lifeless larva, with its limbs curled up, has clear facial features, and it’s hard to tell whether it’s a boy or a girl. Through the light red, almost transparent skin, it seems that the internal organs can be seen clearly.”

Gu Yu covered her ears and begged softly: "Stop talking! You tell me this in the middle of the night, I'm afraid."

Liu Xiaonan continued: "You felt fear, didn't you? At that time, my first feeling was also fear. At that time, I didn't understand why I was afraid of a larva that lost its life and would not cause harm to anyone. Now I understand Now, it’s the human heart, it’s the human heart that refuses to take responsibility, or can’t take responsibility, and let itself be wild and cruel, which scares me.”

Gu Yu hugged Liu Xiaonan's neck tightly again: "I'm afraid I'll lose you, I'll never find you again in the vast crowd."

Liu Xiaonan hugged Gu Yu: "No, I've always been here. When you left the countryside and disappeared from the life of Monton when I was a boy, wouldn't I still be able to find you?"

Gu Yu wailed: "Okay, I will explain to my father for you, let me take your place in the youth cadre training class, and it will not be good for the reserved places to be affected by no one. But, my father will at most get angry, and my mother But it will force me to completely sever contact with you, I am afraid that we will have less and less time to meet in the future, and it will become more and more difficult to get along."

Liu Xiaonan said: "It's not necessarily a bad thing for us to study separately and separate for a while. Time can digest everything. Let time solve difficult problems."

The two sat hugging each other, comforting each other's heart.They just ate the "forbidden peach".

(End of this chapter)