The Happy Life of Small Officials in Northern Song Dynasty

Diao Mazi, standing on the wall of the village and looking around, has been in a good mood these two days. The Second Leader, Qiu Dabao, is getting lower and lower in the eyes of the First Leader. Diao Mazi and others all expressed their dissatisfaction, and Shen Yaozu also had a drink and chat with them in private.

This Qiu Dabao's martial arts is not so-so, and his archery with one hand is famous in the green forest, but Shen Yaozu didn't promote him as the second leader because of his archery skills. The real reason is that Qiu Dabao once He is a hero from the West Dashu Mountain in Luzhou.

Back then, under the leadership of Scarface Heiqi, the Shanzhai village in Dashu was also prosperous, and the brothers in the village also gathered hundreds of people. Unfortunately, the good times didn’t last long. They were conscripted by officers and soldiers several times, and more than 100 people died. Even Hei Qi and other leaders were all captured.

The tree fell and the monkeys scattered, and the rest of the bandits also tried to find their own way of life, some of them kept their names incognito, and some of them fell grass on other hills.

But Shen Yaozu is an ambitious person, his purpose of making Qiu Dabao the second in charge is to hope that Qiu Dabao can help him gather the old tribe of Dashu Mountain.

There are two advantages to doing this. First, the heroes of Dashu Mountain are all habitual bandits. In the bandit business, they can be regarded as "veteran". The common people who came here can also act as little ones, but when it comes to being a bandit, three novices are no match for a seasoned veteran.

Another reason is where Qiu Dabao came from. Qiu Dabao followed Hei Qi in the Luzhou Mansion for so many years incognito. Needless to say, he also cultivated a large number of eyeliners in the Luzhou Mansion. This is extremely valuable to Shen Yaozu. , because the biggest threat to the Bagong Mountain Village is the nearest Luzhou Yongan Army and Shouzhou Zhongzheng Army. These two armies are the thorns in the eyes of the Bagong Mountain bandits. Do not dare to act unless the movement of the army is heard, otherwise once you are trapped in the encirclement, it will be a catastrophe.

And Qiu Dabao just made up for this. He has a lot of eyeliners in Luzhou, and he can send back news at any time, so that every time he commits a robbery, he is sure to escape. The Zhengzheng Army of the state does not need to worry too much, because they are too close, to put it an exaggeration, fart louder, and the sound can be heard in both places.

Facts have also proved Shen Yaozu's foresight. Qiu Dabao used his own eyeliner to successfully escape the traps of Luzhou Xiangjun several times, and succeeded in many major operations. Bagong Mountain Village has also become famous. The cottage was forced to die by the officers and soldiers, and they all came here especially for the name.

The cottage is gradually becoming popular, but the old saying is not for nothing, "The cunning rabbit dies, the lackey cooks, the tall birds are exhausted, and the good bow is hidden." 'When everything was on the right track, Shen Yaozu gradually didn't want to see the second in charge. Qiu Dabao was good at buying people's hearts, and he actually formed a small group under his nose, and even had disagreements on several occasions, which was even more arbitrary. Shen Yaozu was very dissatisfied; the disagreement was getting bigger and bigger, if it wasn't for the frequent siege by officers and soldiers, Shen Yaozu would have kicked this obstructive guy off the cliff of the back mountain long ago.

Of course Diao Mazi knew what Shen Yaozu was thinking, the seat of the second head would be vacant soon, so who would take this seat?

"Is there even a need to ask? Damn it." Diao Mazi gave himself a big mouth, and was so startled that a young man next to him looked at him suspiciously.

Diao Mazi was shocked and lost his composure, and hurriedly said, "Damn it, there are mosquitoes."

The little guy rolled his eyes and thought, "The birds in the crotch are frozen in. Where did the mosquitoes come from? I think you probably have a shofar wind."

Diao Mazi was in a happy mood, and beckoned: "Come on, let's go to the kitchen to see what good dishes are available. It seems that the officers and soldiers won't do anything tonight. I'll make some good dishes, drink two bowls of Lao Shao, and sleep well."

The little boy hurriedly followed behind him, crossed the middle of the village, and came to the big kitchen in the northeast corner. The kitchen was bustling with heat, and the stinging steam was filled with the smell of meat, so that even the shadows of people could be seen. not see.

Even so, Diao Mazi still saw the little bandit who was the cook pick up a piece of meat and throw it into his mouth, making his cheeks swell. Diao Mazi strode up and slapped him on the back of the head, cursing: It's quite fun to steal, no wonder I feel that there are a lot less meat slices in the dishes recently, and the feeling is that you, a bastard, are stealing."

The little bandit was startled, almost spat the meat back into the pot, opened his mouth to curse, looked up and saw it was Tiao Mazi, he was so frightened that he swallowed all the curse words, rolled his eyes so choked.

"Hi, Boss Mazi! The little one is trying to taste the salty taste, so how dare you steal it."

Diao Mazi spat, stretched out his hand to pick up a piece of meat and threw it into his mouth, saying: "I also taste salty and light, three mouthfuls of salty and three mouthfuls of light, three mouthfuls of neither salty nor salty, I still don't know about your crazy tricks?"

The little bandit nodded and bowed, and said with a smile: "Even if the little one farts, he can't escape your old man's nose."

Diao Mazi laughed loudly and said: "Fucking hell, you don't think it's disgusting. If you fart while cooking, if you let the boss eat it, why don't you cut a wooden wedge to block your ass?"

The little bandit repeatedly said yes, but dared not even say so.

Diao Mazi glanced at the dishes on the plate, stretched out his hand to grab one piece after another, and asked as he ate, "What's delicious tonight?"

The little bandit said: "Braised pork with white radish, egg roll soup with chopped green onion, and stewed mutton with yam, are they rich enough?"

Diao Mazi nodded and said: "That's right, I want to drink two cups tonight, don't forget to add more when you bring the meal to my room, and a few extra mutton."

The little bandit hurriedly said: "Don't worry, the food in the cell will be delivered to you, and you will be satisfied. The prisoners in the cell, who have been greeted by the second master, cannot go hungry."

Diao Mazi scolded: "Hey, the bastard's second in charge, just don't do business, a few prisoners are still offering as treasures."

The little bandit laughed and said: "For the sake of face, the second leader is really caring. Even the fourth brother Qi who guards the cell was kicked out, and three new faces were replaced. Prevent Qi Lao Si Gou Ri from being vicious and hurting the prisoner."

Diao Mazi was taken aback, and said, "The guards have changed? Who has changed?"

The little bandit said: "I don't know that. According to them, they were sent up from the foot of the mountain last night. They said they were injured. The second master took care of them and let them guard while recuperating."

The pockmarks on Diao Mazi's face were all wrinkled together, and he muttered, "Did you get hurt yesterday?"

The little bandit said: "It seems to be."

Diao Mazi's expression changed drastically: "No one was injured yesterday, what the hell is this bastard doing?"

Before he finished speaking, he had already left the room like a whirlwind, and greeted the little guy who was following behind his buttocks in a series of voices: "Hurry up and call someone, and gather at the door of the cell."

The little guy said dissatisfied: "What's the matter? Is it worth Master Diao's mobilization?"

Diao Mazi stopped and looked at the young man, his face was full of murderous intent, his fingers were already on the handle of the knife, the young man was so frightened that his face turned pale, and he ran away as if to call someone.

At the entrance of the stone chamber, thirty or forty bandits had gathered. Diao Mazi waved his hand, and all the people filed into the stone chamber and went down the stairs to the wooden door of the prison cell. Diao Mazi reached out and slapped on the wooden door.

Diao Mazi got angry, kicked the door bang, and rushed in with everyone. It was quiet inside, the stove was still burning hot, and a bowl of hot tea was still steaming, but everyone couldn't help it. No.

Diao Mazi shouted, "See if the prisoner is still there?"

A bandit ran outside the fence, squinted his eyes, and shouted, "It seems to be lying in bed, and everyone in the cell over there is there."

Diao Mazi leaned over to examine it carefully, and shouted: "Get up, get up for me."

Several prisoners in the other railings got up in fright and shrank in the corner, only the three in the bed remained motionless.

Diao Mazi yelled, "Get out of here, I'll peel your skin carefully."

The protruding human figure in the bed was still motionless, Diao Mazi suddenly felt something was wrong, and shouted, "Open the door, go in and have a look."

The bandits hurriedly lifted a log that was on top of the roof and pinned it between the gaps in the fence. Dozens of people joined forces and broke one of the railing posts immediately. Three bloody corpses caught the eyes of the bandits.

Diao Mazi gasped, and shouted loudly: "Hurry up, hurry up and report to the chief, the second chief and the dog official who came down from the mountain have rebelled!"