The Happy Life of Small Officials in Northern Song Dynasty

(Thanks to the three little yellow teeth book friends for their rewards!)

Not long after Xu Wei returned to his seat, Ge Huaimin and Li Zhihe came to the top of the building surrounded by a group of soldiers, Xu Wei pretended to be relieved and said with a smile: "The two adults have arrived, come, come, I will introduce you to the lord. "

Su Jin and everyone in the seat stood up, and then they heard Xu Wei say: "This is Mr. Ge, the commander of the capital deployed by our Weizhou, and this is Mr. Li, the supervisor sent by the emperor to our Jingyuan Road. The two generals , this one is our newly appointed Weizhou Zhizhou Lord Su, the three adults should get close to each other."

Su Jin cupped his hands and said with a smile: "I have admired you for a long time!"

Li Zhihe smiled and bowed back, Ge Huaimin casually cupped his hands, glanced casually at Su Jin, then sat down on the chair rudely, picked up his chopsticks and stuffed a piece of food into his mouth.

Seeing that Ge Huaimin was being rude, everyone secretly looked at Su Jin's face. Seeing that Su Jin had no sullen intentions, they were relieved, but also looked down on Su Jin. It seemed that he was a young man after all. The momentum in front of him is still low, and he can only be submissive in the face of Ge Huaimin's ignorance.

Xu Wei hurriedly said: "Sit down, sit down, when the two adults arrive, everyone will be ready, let's start now, this dish is getting cold, fortunately it's midsummer, it doesn't matter if it gets colder."

Everyone said: "That's right, it tastes better when it's cold..."

Su Jin remained calm and forced himself to suppress the anger in his heart. This Ge Huaimin was rude and disregarded himself at all. Write this account to him first, but Su Jin is actually more afraid of people like Ge Huaimin , the more rude and disrespectful the generation, the lower the weight in Su Jin's heart. For Su Jin, this kind of person is actually easy to deal with. On the contrary, Xu Wei and the smiling supervisor Li are strong enemies. It is the birthplace of bad water, let's endure it for a while, and then worry about it.

Everyone sat down, Xu Wei held up his wine glass and drew a circle with a smile: "Today we are welcoming the new lord of the government. The capital is thousands of miles away, and Master Su rushed to his post along the way. From now on, our Weizhou city will With someone in charge, let’s raise our glasses to welcome Lord Su’s arrival. In the future, the government respects His Excellency, but if there is an assignment, we will be duty-bound to follow His Excellency to benefit the people of Weizhou, guard the important border towns for the imperial court, and serve the imperial court.”

Li Zhihe said with a smile: "Well said, let Master Su take the wind and wash away the dust, come on, everyone has done it."

Everyone toasted together, and Su Jin also toasted and stood up with a smile: "Thanks to the love from all the adults, I feel as if I have been welcomed by the spring breeze. I just came to Weizhou, and I don't understand anything when my eyes are dark. Please give me more guidance and help, and if there is anything inappropriate, please feel free to point it out, we are our own people after drinking this drink; Xu Tongban is right, we will work together to fight against the bandits and serve the court."

Everyone applauded repeatedly, so they all raised their glasses and raised their necks to drink up the wine in their glasses.

Xu Wei took the silver chopsticks and served Su Jin courteously, and the officials beside him, such as Cang Si and Ti Xing, also served Li Zhihe and Ge Huaimin one after another.

Su Jin picked up the wine in his glass and said to Ge Huaimin with a smile: "General Ge has a good appetite. It seems that he is busy with military affairs and can't take care of dinner. I'm here to offer a toast to General Ge. When I passed by Qinzhou, I heard the envoy Han mention that Ge The general is the God of Dinghai in Weizhou City. He repelled the thieves several times and tried his best to keep Weizhou as stable as a mountain. From now on, we will be grasshoppers on the same rope. Let me offer a toast to the general. We should get closer in the future. "

Ge Huaimin spat out a chicken bone, wiped his oily mouth with his sleeve, looked sideways at Su Jin and said, "Master Su, it's not because of me, Old Ge, to refute your face, I advise you to pack up and go back to Beijing. You are the number one scholar of this year, it is not good to go somewhere to be an official, but you come to this place where the birds don't shit; If you are defeated, it is just empty talk to talk about how to defend the imperial court against the thieves."

Everyone waited attentively for Su Jin's reaction, and they knew that Ge Huaimin would not make Su Jin feel better today, but this Su Jin was well-behaved, and first toasted to Ge Huaimin, but Lao Ge still didn't appreciate it. Su Jin slapped her face.

Su Jin smiled and said: "General Ge, according to what you want, how should I be able to gain a foothold here? The appearance and body are all owned by parents. There is no choice. The most important thing is to have a heart to serve the court." Heart, as long as the mind is firm, is there any difficulty that cannot be overcome?"

Ge Huaimin laughed and said: "Interesting, someone actually taught me, Lao Ge, in person. Excuse me for my vulgar words. What you said is all bullshit. It's still effective to write such bullshit on your imperial examination paper, fooling me." The princes who fooled the imperial court would be fine with their fame, but they are worthless here. The northwest wind is like a burning knife, and hailstones the size of eggs are smashing down from the sky, and rice grains covered with sand are eaten in war , drinking muddy water full of mud, the thief’s horse’s hooves may step on your head at any time, have you heard the cracking sound of the machete cutting into the bone? You can survive such a day for three days , I, Lao Ge, will count you as capable, and it’s useless to talk about bragging.”

Su Jin put down the wine glass and said with a sneer, "Why do you think I haven't lived such a life?"

Ge Huaimin stared at Su Jin and said, "Anyone can brag, do you dare to make a bet with me?"

Su Jin said, "What are you betting on?"

Ge Huaimin said: "I can tell at a glance that you are used to rich clothes and fine food. I'm afraid I wouldn't dare to kill a chicken with a knife. If I bet with you on who kills the most enemies on the battlefield, I'm bullying you; I have delicious food in the northwest , all the officials in Bianliang City love to eat it, you must have eaten it too, but today I bet you dare not eat it."

Su Jin said: "A joke, since it is a delicacy that people eat, others can eat it, why can't I eat it."

Ge Huaimin didn't answer, and waved his hand to greet the soldiers outside the pavilion: "Bring it up."

Two soldiers came in carrying a large iron cage covered with a black cloth, and placed it on a stone table next to it.

Two other people carried a table and placed it on the open space. The table was a bit strange, with a round hole in the middle that was the size of a bowl, and the table top was divided into two halves, which seemed to be able to be opened and closed.

Ge Huaimin looked at Su Jin and said, "Master Su, have you ever eaten monkey brains?"

Su Jin nodded and said: "I have eaten it, this is a popular delicacy in Bianliang City."

Ge Huaimin said, "It's good to eat it. Today we will eat monkey brains. I bet you dare not take a bite. I, Old Ge, did not embarrass you, Mr. Su. We usually eat everything when we run out of food and water when we are marching and fighting." , If you catch monkeys and other wild game, you will naturally eat them, if you dare to eat this, I will count what you Master Su said as farting."

Su Jin doesn't know why Ge Huaimin is so confident. Of course, he has eaten the monkey's brain. He has eaten a lot of delicacies from mountains and seas in the capital. There is no concept of wild animal protection these days. Besides, there are as many wild beasts and insects as there are cow hairs in the mountains, and they have slaughtered ferocious beasts Not only will he not be punished, but the government will reward him with money. To put it bluntly, it is monkey brains, tiger penis, leopard tail, and boa constrictor meat. Su Jin has also eaten a lot in the banquets in the capital. What about eating monkey brains?

Ge Huaimin stepped forward, rolled up his sleeves to reveal his swarthy arms, and stretched out his hand to lift off the black cloth on the cage. Sure enough, there were two furry monkeys in the iron cage. The two monkeys hugged each other and looked around in horror. Looking around, squeaking in the mouth, it seems to understand the upcoming fate.

"Master Su, these two monkeys were caught by my brothers on the Longshan Mountain all afternoon. There was a female monkey in the first place. My brothers were greedy and roasted them on the mountain, so we just I can eat these two newborn monkeys."

Su Jin's heart pounded, these two little monkeys looked very pitiful, did Ge Huaimin actually want to slaughter the monkeys in front of him to eat their brains?

Ge Huaimin smiled, pointed at the monkey and said to Su Jin: "Master Su has eaten monkey brains in the capital, I guess you eat monkey brains served on a plate, pick up a bunch of them with chopsticks and cook them in boiling water, and then Dip it in some condiments like onion, ginger and vinegar, right?"

Su Jin nodded and said, "Exactly."

Ge Huaimin said: "That kind of eating method is not popular in our Northwest. The delicacy of the monkey's brain is overwhelmed by the taste of the condiment, and you still eat it as a fart; today we will eat according to the Northwest way, so that Mr. Su can also know what is delicious in the world. .”

Su Jin's heart skipped a beat, as if he knew something.

Ge Huaimin rubbed his hands, opened the cage door and reached in, grabbed a little monkey by the neck and pulled it out. The two little monkeys hugged each other tightly, screaming in terror, one paw was still tight The iron bars gripping the cage did not let go.

Ge Huaimin pulled it out forcefully, the little monkey got anxious and bared its teeth and bit his big black and thin hand. Ge Huaimin's rough skin and thick flesh didn't bite his hand, but the slight pain annoyed Ge Huaimin, and he loosened his hand in the meantime. Opening his palms and cursing repeatedly, he slapped the biting little monkey wildly with his big slaps, until the little monkey almost passed out with bleeding from his mouth and nose.

Su Jin cursed in his heart, this bastard is really poisonous, the little monkey looks like a child, even looking at that pitiful look, he couldn't do anything, turned his head to look at the people in the seat, everyone They stretched their necks with excitement and looked at them with a smile, but no one showed any sympathy.

Ge Huaimin slapped him a few times, seeing that the little monkey was too dizzy to grasp the iron railing, so he grabbed his neck and pulled it out, and said with a smile: "Damn it, the little bastard is still unwilling, I tell you, you can enter today Master Su's belly is the blessing you cultivated in your previous life, if Master Su hadn't come to Weizhou and became our parents and officials in Weizhou, how would you have such an honor."

Su Jin almost swears, but he has to bear the crime.