The Northern Stories of Chef Lao Tan

Chapter 133 Review of Marriage
We sympathize with Lao Tan's marriage and even hope that he can live with another woman instead of Lin Yan.

When we think about marriage, we often ignore the family. A family consists of two adults and children.Adults are adults, who have experienced the baptism of love and life, have rich life experience and life experience, and can choose the life they want, which is understandable.

But what about children?
Divorce and remarriage are just an experience, ending a relationship that has lost enthusiasm and starting another one.

What should I do?
What about the child?
It is liking and love for another woman, putting all the passion into it, the two people are in love with each other, loving each other sweetly and sweetly.But life is real, and it doesn't mean that once you have feelings, you will live in peace and grow old. If this is the case, there will be no such thing as divorce-whose first marriage is not with someone who loves each other?

The question is whether the child also likes a woman who is not his own mother?Conversely, do women like their ex-wife's children as much as they like themselves?
Marriage issues are always the focus of debate and morality, so I won’t go into details here. From my personal point of view, I need to face it rationally.

Of course, two people really can't live together, the relationship breaks down, divorce is also normal, and it is the right choice.I am not against divorce here, but hope that husband and wife can face family life rationally and not divorce when they feel unsatisfactory.

Regardless of the child, is it the best to choose again?
The reason why a man betrays his wife is not that there are too many temptations outside, but that he does not get respect and consideration at home, and lives under ridicule and indifference for a long time, so he has an external heart.

I once met a man who got along very well with his partner before they got married, and they were a good match, and they were a match made in heaven in the eyes of people around them.

Even after marriage, they were loving and sweet, but it only lasted for half a year.

Half a year later, the woman said nervously: "He has something to do outside, and now he doesn't want to go home, so appoint someone."

Ask: "Why don't you want to go home?"

The woman said, "I don't know."

Tell her: "There is only one reason why men don't want to go home, and that is to be happy outside, and to go home is equal to pain."

I met a man by chance, and he said: "I thought it was good when I was not married. He was a nice man, beautiful, and understanding. After I got married, I found out that he was not a daughter-in-law at all, but the director of the Disciplinary Inspection Commission. I don't know. How did it become like this?"

The man is terrified every day after get off work.You have to check your phone first, and delete some information that may cause misunderstanding, including WeChat.In fact, they are all normal interactions, but women don't believe it when they talk about women, and there will always be troubles made out of nothing.

From the moment he entered the house, his wife was first the head of the pre-trial department, and then the director of the inspection room. After passing the pre-trial and inspection, the final sentence came, which made him mentally decadent and exhausted.The daughter-in-law who was beautiful and gentle in the eyes before is still beautiful now, but the gentleness has disappeared.

Seeing the strangeness of the daughter-in-law, resistance and boredom arose in my heart.

As a result, the two started a cold war after half a year of marriage, separated after a year, and divorced after a year and a half.

After the divorce, the woman regretted it, and told people that she didn't even think about divorce at all, and that she was so concerned because of love. If she didn't love, she wouldn't be suspicious.

This love is a bit deformed.

Although the marriage between Lao Tan and Lin Yan has only one name left, their family still exists.

Lin Yan can live without Lao Tan, but she cannot live without her son.

So is Lao Tan.

Although the two of them don't care about each other, they both love this family and their son and give unreservedly.

In Lao Tan's heart, Lin Yan's position is still very important.Although she lost the gentleness of the past, the woman who used to be didn't think she was poor, and followed her resolutely. After so many years of ups and downs, it was not easy.

If you know your own difficulty, you can think of her difficulty.The two of them are rushing forward and working hard for their family and their children.Although there is no passion and love, it is still a family.

If marriage and family are treated separately, marriage can exist in name only, but family must be there because there are children.

The two have a smart, sensible, independent, and lovely eldest son.

For Lao Tan, divorce not only made it hard for him, but also for his five older sisters and his mother.If the old mother knew that he was divorced, she would probably have a sudden illness.If something happened to this old lady, besides remorse, drinking would be a heinous crime.

Now the relationship with Lin Yan has eased a lot, and they seem to be a normal couple.It's just that Lin Yan has always been disgusted with the two of them living a married life together, and it has become a disease.

For Lao Tan, who is physically normal, life without a husband and wife is obviously torture. He is a normal man with needs, and he can't do without the comfort of love for a long time.

But after more than ten years like this, how should I put it, I am used to it.

It is cruel to say that the habit is cruel, but what can be done?
Miss?Iron man?Keep a lover?
Looking for a lady himself doesn't accept it.

The iron can do it, but it is often as weak as the national football team when it comes to the goal, and escapes first.

Raising a lover didn't even think about it at all, if that were the case, it would be better to be an iron child.

There is no shortage of women around Lao Tan, and there are those who fall in love with him.

It's one thing to fall in love with it, it's another thing to live with it, and the two should not be confused.

Old Tan knew this deeply.

Let's take Zhang Li as an example. Strictly speaking, the two are iron sons.The two of them have not had a relationship until now, they are lovers and confidants, and they are also friends when they grow old.

But if there is that kind of relationship, the nature will be different immediately.

Not only is there embarrassment, but also emotion.

Humans are emotional animals, and they are different from animals because of their emotions, and they live at the top of the food chain.But feelings are the most tormenting ones, they are so painful that they can't stop reasoning and become chaotic.

Often the re-established family will be accompanied by the pain of family breakdown for the first time, as well as a series of issues such as child rearing, few of which are resolved satisfactorily.

Marriage and family are usually accompanied by sexual relations, and it is often the discordant sexual life between husband and wife that leads to emotional derailment, and then personal derailment.Driven by primitive desires, longing for the tenderness that cannot be found in the family, so that the mind and body can be satisfied.

This is what people often call an extramarital affair.

Extramarital affairs are also love.Two people love each other, but they can't be together for the rest of their lives. They care about each other in their respective lives, and it becomes a lifetime of bitter love.

Man lives in two worlds.

In the emotional world, you can be beautiful, selfish, and unconstrained.But the real world does exist, and some things in the emotional world cannot survive in the real world, because people can’t just think about themselves when they live, and they still have the responsibility of being children, wives, husbands, and parents on their shoulders——
We don't want to have a stepmother and stepfather, especially when the real parents and mothers still exist, and the same goes for the children.

From another perspective, a happy family is the cornerstone of a career, that's for sure.

When family life turns red, there must be a problem, and the problem must be solved, not avoided.

And problems are always mutual, especially family life, there is no right or wrong, unless it is a matter of principle.The way to solve the problem is not to distinguish between right and wrong, to find faults with the other party, but to examine oneself.

If you don't change yourself, the problem will never be solved, it will only deepen.

Let's look back at Lao Tan and Lin Yan's marriage. Both of them are responsible for this situation.

Both of them were born in Bitter Melon Danzi. They had no father since they were young, and they were brought up by their mothers.The single-parent family and poor life experience made them sensible prematurely and shoulder the burden of life.

This has resulted in the independence of the two personalities and the strength of their bones, and both have sensitive inferiority complexes and strong self-esteem.

The main reason for the current situation is the long-term living in two places after having children.

Lao Tan felt that as long as he earns money by himself and gives the money to Lin Yan, she and the child will not starve, and it is enough to have food and drink.As for myself, it's okay to be a little bit tired, who is called a gentleman.

Lin Yan was with her son, and subconsciously felt that as long as she had a son, everything else didn't matter.The experience of not having a father when I was a child told me that I can't let my son have no father like myself.

Seemingly contradictory, yet unified.

Sometimes she felt that it didn't matter if Lao Tan was there or not. She could support her son by herself, and he did well.At this time, she will use her mother as an example. Isn't her mother who raised herself and her two younger brothers by herself?

From the birth of her son to the present, she is almost in charge of it alone.Lao Tan didn't stay at home for a few days, and even if he was at home, it was almost as good as not at home. His work determined how much he took care of his home and children.

So Lin Yan subconsciously wondered if Lao Tan was the same person, as long as the money was handed over to her on a monthly basis, she would take care of everything.

Coupled with the fact that there is no married life for a long time, all the attention is on the children, the psychological changes lead to physiological imbalances, and the behavior shows boredom.

What's more, she is doing very well in cold chain logistics now. She has been promoted from an employee to a department manager, and she earns no less than Lao Tan every month.

The job goes well, earns a lot of money, is strong, and has always controlled the financial power of the family, with a posture of being above everything else.Of course, this is not to say bullying, but to strengthen her independence.

The same is true for Lao Tan, these are two identical people.It's just that Lao Tan is five years older than her, and he has been doing management and training all the time, so he is more comprehensive and thoughtful in dealing with problems.

What Lin Yan is experiencing is what he has already experienced, so he knows how to deal with it.

Don't fight, don't say much.

As a couple, there is nothing right or wrong.

I don't do as much with my family and children as Lin Yan, so I speak less.

Whenever I think of Lin Yan living alone with her children for six years, and she still does so now, I feel guilty and feel sorry for others, and it is normal for them to treat me like this.

Although they signed the divorce agreement in a fit of anger four years ago and lived a life where no one cares about anyone, they are still a family.Besides, after the agreement was signed, neither of them mentioned it again, as if it didn't happen.To put it bluntly, it was just a conflict between husband and wife, and the past is over.

Now the two of them have no problem financially, with a monthly income of over [-].A home is also like a home. It is a good day to be more than enough than the bottom.

My son is well-behaved and sensible, and he is at the top of his studies. Since he started playing basketball, he has grown to 1.6 meters, and it looks like he can grow to 1.8 meters.

Hey, people, be content.

Life goes on forever with a smile, getting better and better.

(End of this chapter)