The palace is quiet, and the empress of the cold palace is acting as a demon

Chapter 162 It's Great That You Are Alive

Qin Wan thought she guessed right, but she didn't expect to be wrong. She sighed with some disappointment, "I once had a friend who also liked animals."

"Oh? What kind of friend?" Ning Xian asked.

"Hmm... how do I describe him?" Qin Wan thought for a while, "He has a very big garden, I call that garden a zoo, where there are tigers, leopards, snakes, crocodiles... I think he has Collected all the exotic animals. There are birds flying everywhere in his yard, and there is a very beautiful peacock... He is very good, he has named each animal, and he can tell them apart Who is who... I was thinking, a person who is so good to animals should not be a bad person at all...but...but..."

Qin Wan was talking, and suddenly burst into tears.

Obviously this memory had been buried for such a long time, but at this moment it surged out uncontrollably, and guilt filled her heart for a while, causing her heartache to be so painful that she couldn't breathe.

Seeing her crying, Ning Xian asked affectionately, "That friend of yours... has passed away?"

His voice was like a clear spring passing through the mountains and forests, opening up all Qin Wan's memories at once. She squatted on the ground slowly, hugging her knees, and burst into tears uncontrollably.

"I killed him...he was very kind to me, but I killed him..." Qin Wan bit her lip and said slowly, "Originally I could have a better way to choose, but I chose Revenge. Revenge is really useless. It should be refreshing after revenge, but why can't I forgive myself..."

Regarding Su Han's death, Qin Wan kept it in her heart and never told anyone about it.

She didn't know what to say, and she didn't know who to talk to.

Neither can Ning, nor can anyone who has experienced the battle with her in Yingyang City.

Seeing her crying, Ning Xian asked, "If you want, you can tell me what's going on? If you have something on your mind, it will make you feel better to say it."

"Your Majesty, are you willing to listen?" Qin Wan asked.

"Of course, I'm willing to listen." Ning Yi looked at Qin Wan sincerely and nodded.

"Your Majesty, do you know...Yingyang City is the last thing Liang Emperor Yuan Chen left behind. It is all Yuan Chen's stuff there. Why should Su Han destroy it! When Yuan Chen was most ill, in order not to let me too much Sad, he kept telling me interesting stories about his childhood in Yingyang Palace. He told me how to secretly open the window of Chunian Palace, how to walk is the shortest way to Qingyun Palace, and he told me a lot about Yingyang The palace, the matter of Yingyang City... But Su Han ruined Yuan Shen's home and his memory, I can't forgive him! I want his Xidi to pay back, I want him to pay me back, use Fangyuan City to pay for it , use the whole of Xidi to pay for it. But Fangyuan City is gone, and Xidi is gone, but Yingyang City has not returned, and Yingyang Palace is still gone..."

Ning Xian listened to her crying, he knew the names of Yuan Chen and Su Han very well.He has read all of Ning Yi's battle reports, and he knows the ins and outs of all the wars, but he didn't know that there would be a girl who was so sad among them.

Qin Wan went on to say: "Your Majesty, I really have no one to talk about these things, I can't tell Ning Yi. How can I tell him? If I tell him that Yingyang City is gone, the reason I'm most sad is not him I didn't come back to save me, but because I felt sorry for Yuan Chen and didn't help him guard his home. If Ning Yi found out, he wouldn't be happy. I can't tell him that I'm sad that Su Han died, is it? Because Su Han died at Ning Yi's hands. But, I'm just very sad... I've never said these words to anyone, but it's really sad to hold it in my heart..."

She has nothing to say about it.

No one can understand her guilt and pain.

No one had shared the emotion with her.

So she can only keep him deeply suppressed in the deepest and deepest heart, thinking that as long as she doesn't think about it, she won't be hurt anymore.

Ning Xian squatted down slowly, raised her hand and placed it gently on Qin Wan's head.

Qin Wan raised her head to look at him, only to find that Ning Xian was shedding tears. He was right in front of her, as if he had completely felt her mood, and the tears kept flowing unconsciously, slowly dripping into the soil.

"Your Majesty...?" Qin Wan was surprised, "Why are you crying with me?"

"Yuan Chen and Su Han both like you, right?" Ning Xian asked.

Qin Wan was stunned for a moment, tears trickling down, she bit her lip and nodded.

"How do you treat them?" Ning Xian asked.

Qin Wan shook her head: "I took advantage of their admiration and gave their country to Ning Yi to please Ning Yi. Your Majesty, I am really despicable and selfish. I am really very, very bad... because I I really like Ning Yi..."

She pondered this sentence in her heart for a long time, and finally got up the courage to say it.

She is using this method to please Ning Yi, there is no doubt about it.

So when she couldn't get Ning Yi's emotional feedback, she was really angry. It wasn't a matter of a fire pill, but "I did so many things against my conscience for you, but you chose yours." righteousness".

The self-condemnation of conscience and the despair of not getting an equal reward are the reasons why Qin Wan really chose to take his own life.

But God made a joke for her and made her reborn again.

"So on the issue of the Bashu Liang Kingdom, you used a more gentle approach, right?" Ning Xian said.

Qin Wan was stunned, and looked at Ning Xian, it turned out that he knew everything.

Ning Xian went on to say: "In the Kingdom of Shu, you could have taken advantage of the earthquake and returned directly to the Beibei army with King Ning, and then let the Beibei army directly capture Jincheng. This method is quick and easy, and you can do it without any effort." Capture the entire Shu Kingdom. But you persuaded King Ning to let him help rebuild the Kingdom of Shu, and finally let Shu Kingdom voluntarily become a vassal state of the Rong Kingdom. You see, you have learned to use better ways to achieve your goals, which is already very good gone."

Qin Wan's tears stopped. Looking at the young emperor in front of him, she felt for the first time that she had finally heard the praise and affirmation she wanted to hear.

Ning Xian patted Qin Wan on the head: "You didn't do anything wrong, whether it's revenge itself or the guilt after revenge, they're all true thoughts, and you didn't do anything wrong. You have a different standpoint from Su Han. It is not wrong to do something from your own standpoint. Although his choice may not be right, it must follow his heart, and your choice is also based on your own heart. There is a way to have both, and it is not always possible for us to choose the most correct path. However, if Su Han knew that you cried like this because of his death, he would never regret getting acquainted with you... And you have already found a better way to deal with the issue of Shu, so you have to forgive yourself, okay?"

"Did I do nothing wrong?" Qin Wan stared into Ning Xian's eyes, really wanting to find the answer from his clear eyes.

Ning Xian comforted softly: "Of course not. At that time, you must have done everything you could, and that was enough."

"Really?"

"Well, really."

Hearing Ning Xian's firm answer, Qin Wan suddenly felt all the pain relieved.

Now she's all relaxed.

Ning Xian felt her heartache tenderly, shared her heartache, and healed her.

"Your Majesty, it's great that you are alive..." Qin Wan looked at Ning Xian with gratitude.

(End of this chapter)