Millennium 2000, the earth enters the age of gods and demons

Chapter 17 My 'hate' is immortal

Zhang Xiaoyu sought "hate" hard but couldn't get it. He gave up and fell.

The power to finally change his own destiny is in front of him, but he can't get close to it. The loss and disappointment in his heart are beyond words.

He thought: "Anyway, I can't change my own destiny, so why should I struggle with it? Why can't I be happy day by day like others, and live a carefree and unrestrained life?"

"Why should I make myself suffer? Am I humiliating myself?"

He turned to himself in his heart and asked like this.

So, he fell and gave up.

After get off work every day, I just hang out or eat, drink, and fight with my colleagues.

Today I treat guests to dinner, and tomorrow you treat guests to drink and sing songs every night.

Zhang Xiaoyu, why is this happening?
This is completely different from him who cherished time so much before.

What the hell is wrong with him?
Who is quietly changing him?
And who is influencing him in the dark?

this day.

Zhang Xiaoyu and his colleagues were drunk outside, returned to the dormitory in a daze, and fell asleep.

Time passed slowly.

In the dark room, a pair of eyes suddenly lit up.

There was confusion and panic in those eyes, and it looked straight ahead at the dark roof.

"Why am I doing this?"

"I always feel that I am a little different from others, but where is the difference?"

"Is this the life I want?"

Zhang Xiaoyu, who woke up halfway, tossed and turned in the dark, muttering to himself.

the next day.

Zhang Xiaoyu still hasn't changed, and he invites everyone to eat and drink together after get off work as usual.

The words he woke up in the middle of last night were also left behind.

On the third day, I continued to drink at night and became unconscious.

On the fourth day, after get off work, I continued to surf and get drunk.

Day [-].

He woke up again, and he muttered painfully in the dark again:
"Is this the life I want?"

"No, it's not! This is not the life I want!"

"But what can I do! I can't change myself!"

Zhang Xiaoyu was in pain in the dark, roaring in his heart.

Every day he tries to change himself, but he can't escape the old things, and the cycle keeps repeating.

"Tomorrow, tomorrow must change yourself!"

In the dark, Zhang Xiaoyu made up his mind and said so.

tomorrow.

Tomorrow will still continue, I still have to eat and drink, and finally get too drunk.

Another day passed, and Zhang Xiaoyu struggled again in the dark room.

"I don't want this kind of life!"

"I don't want to stay in this cage every day!"

Zhang Xiaoyu felt that he had been working in Wei's for a long time.

Apart from the gas station and Wei's, his mind was blank and he didn't know anything.

Even if they go out to drink at night, they are still near the company.

Wei's high wall is like a prison, not only imprisoned his body, but also captured his heart, and also imprisoned his dreams and hopes.

He misses the time when he worked hard for his goals, and also misses the days when he worked tirelessly at the gas station.

"How happy I was at that time! I worked hard for my goals every day, busy and fulfilling, even if I was tired, I was happy!"

"Why can't I step out now, why can't I always change!"

"Why are you still so cowardly!"

"Zhang Xiaoyu, why are you still so timid!"

"It's going to be twenty soon. Don't you care about your age? Have you lived another year in vain?"

Standing in the dark room, Zhang Xiaoyu questioned herself bitterly in her heart.

"Haha, you are cowardly and timid! You don't care about your age!"

"What's the point of living! You might as well die!"

Zhang Xiaoyu's voice of grief and indignation sounded in her heart.

He dare not die!
He could only laugh at himself hard, mocking himself.

He hates himself for being unable to change, he hates himself for being cowardly, cowardly and incompetent.

At this moment, a voice that Zhang Xiaoyu had forgotten for many days, said with a smile in his mind:
"Haha, yes, yes, you finally understand the true meaning of 'hate', your hatred provides me with strength!"

"In this world, it is meaningless to hate the sky, hate the air, or even hate others."

"Only by hating yourself, hating yourself for not working hard enough, hating yourself for not being strong enough, can you change yourself!"

"You finally understand!"

"You already have your own source of strength!"

"From this moment on, you have already taken the first step towards the extraordinary."

At this time, Zhang Xiaoyu stood silently in the dark, feeling his hatred, and slowly asked in his heart:
"I know that hatred alone is not enough, what should I do specifically?"

The voice or 'hate' in his head replied:
"What to do depends on you. Although you understand the truth, I have met too many people who understand many truths."

"Although they understand a lot of truths, they still haven't lived a good life!"

Zhang Xiaoyu asked quietly: "Why is this happening? Isn't it enough to understand the truth? Then I can't change myself!"

"Because 'fate' is like this, they can only repeat everything in the 'old days'."

"In other words, their hearts are not strong enough to resist pollution from the outside world."

At this time, the sky over Yangcheng is gradually covered with dark clouds, and a downpour may be coming soon.

"Pollution?"

It was the first time Zhang Xiaoyu heard this statement.

"What is pollution?"

"Pollution is everywhere, especially in your current era of information explosion. If all living beings can't resist pollution, they will never be able to climb the ladder of extraordinaryness."

"The first level is extraordinary, the second level is emotional control, and the third level is enlightenment. This is the ladder after extraordinary."

"Pollution, madness, and even depravity will accompany you throughout your life, and 'kalpa' may come at any time."

"Okay, let's not say so much, you are still very weak, knowing too much is a bad thing."

The voice of 'hate' warned Zhang Xiaoyu in her mind.

After Zhang Xiaoyu heard it, he didn't ask any more questions, although he didn't know who the voice was?

But he secretly felt that it was harmless to him.

But he still hasn't solved his problem, so he asked in his heart:
"I want to change myself, how can I get rid of the old days?"

Boom.

It rained suddenly outside the house, accompanied by deafening lightning and thunder.

"I don't know exactly how to do it, otherwise I wouldn't be like this."

"Haha, but before 'fate' or 'old days' comes, you can feel it."

'Hate' didn't care when he heard the thunder outside, as if he had made up his mind and continued to preach.

Zhang Xiaoyu didn't know what 'fate' and 'old days' were at this time, and thought that the voice was talking about the impermanence of fate that everyone often said.

"Ask yourself, if you haven't been able to change yourself, is it because you made up your mind in your heart that you don't want to change? Or is it something else?"

"Just like you just now, no matter how hard you try, the changes are minimal or even useless. You can only hide in the dark and scold. Is it because you are so determined in your heart that you don't want to change?"

The voice of 'hate' became faster and faster, like a cannonball.

"When you doubt whether you can change? Is it useful to change? Or when you think that's it, it's easier for me to keep going without changing. Is it your real thought?"

Wei's high altitude.

A thick thunderbolt fell without breath.

But it didn't break any beams, as if it had penetrated into another world.

Zhang Xiaoyu was listening to the voice in his head, when suddenly, a thunderstorm sounded in his mind, shaking him so that he passed out.

But "hate" was struck by the thunder, and the crystal clear lines were broken inch by inch, and then slowly returned to nothingness.

"Haha, it's too late, you're one step too late!"

"The true meaning of 'hate' has been planted!"

"If I didn't realize it too late, how could you have the chance to be promoted to 'Old Days'!"

"I hate! My 'hate' is immortal!"

The voice of 'hate' screaming up to the sky echoed in Zhang Xiaoyu's mind.

(End of this chapter)