endless roses

Chapter 119 Official Date
My heart is so confused, I ask myself, am I cutting myself off from the future?have no idea.

I thought about it and got scared and tried to stop thinking about it.

late at night?morning?
In a certain corner, I still yearn for warmth, and the coldness is a deliberate distance. I prefer to smile freely, not a wry smile when I speak to myself.I can't sleep at night, flustered, when did I become like this?

Where did it change?On the road, I still greet small animals as I did many years ago, and I still like to pay attention to the natural flowers and plants.

Where is the indifference?Maybe less human than ever, more afraid of being interrupted, PTSD, the way I am, overkill.In the bottom of my heart, I clearly yearn for warmth, and I am used to rejecting people thousands of miles away.Compared with the possible care, I am more afraid of being disturbed by irrelevant personnel.

I care about those around me.During the day, Zhongzhong asked if there were any tweezers. My tweezers were loose cell clamps, but they were still tweezers, so I answered yes, but asked her what they were used for.Zhongzhong can't understand why the relationship is very close on weekdays, why he hesitates today, I have it, I can't deny it, but she probably won't use it, so I have to ask where to use it.In the end, people said it was eyelash curling, but I didn't need it. She was a little surprised and went on to other things.In fact, I just need to get out of bed, take it out from the cabinet, and hand it over to her and others to find out that it can't be used.

It seems that my EQ is really low haha, but my friends are so nice, interpersonal relationship is not the problem I want to deal with, I like natural intimacy rather than deliberate management, this is a very small thing, maybe people have long forgotten, But I remember, in the future, let’s help without saying a word.

I made an appointment with him in Victor, which is the place where many foreigners drink tea. I thought that sitting there and chatting in poor spoken English, people passing by would probably regard this woman as an easy girl. There are many prejudices in this world, and I can understand. I think it's okay, I don't know what to say, I'm just invited, and I prefer the feeling of being taken care of passively.Still a little sad for my behavior.

In fact, growing up so big, I must have received a lot of care to be able to return safely, but I consciously only remember the days when I was alone for a long time. , Every age group has gone through many vicissitudes.It is really not necessary, it is very lucky to grow up safely, it is because I am too demanding.

I was flustered at night and couldn't sleep. Am I enriching my life, or ruining it?
have no idea.The ending is something in the future, and the future is something I can't think about.Sometimes, it can't be lack of ability, sometimes, it can't be dare, I am afraid of going through the process of heartbreak and sadness, even if I forget that it will pass, I know it is uncomfortable to be in it, so I don't want to.This doesn’t mean I can’t bear it, but I just try to avoid it, haha, there are a lot of negative sentences again, so be at ease~
It is easy to give sincere compliments to others. Sometimes I even wonder if my words of comfort are flattering, although they are very conceited.Many people have told me that you are so comforting to others.Well, it makes me happy to bring peace back to those around me.But I can't, alas.Sentimental, that's probably what it is, maybe it's just a young man's forced talk of sadness.Life is so short, what worries can last forever.

I hear the wings of the birds and the windows are closed, so what do I hear.It didn't sound like insects flying, it must be the sound of birds' wings, they were all asleep, and I heard someone turn over at the noise and the little bump.

I am afraid, there are many uncertain things, many things I cannot understand, because I know that once I understand, I will experience sad moments and stop thinking.Want to be cared for, but also used to push away, you are a masochist at heart, right?

But I really like to be happy.I've been a little tired recently, probably because I wrote a lot of papers, I know it's not.

Emphasized too much, as if it was real, I still want to believe that one day, that little Su will cherish herself.When the time slowly fades away, I can let go of everything. If there is a future, I will definitely not be so demanding on many things like now.

some morning
(End of this chapter)