endless roses

Chapter 138 Drunkness and Natural Enthusiasm
It turns out that the movie "Siberia" (last year's one) is about dreams that flow around. The dreams are scary and wonderful. It's a journey to the end of the world. It's a good movie. Let's find some other movies by this director.

"Natural Born Killers".The ultimate movie, typical Quentin style, compared with the two Kill Bill, it does not have such a strong heavy metal flavor.The most impressive scene, the simple wedding on the bridge, Mickey and Mei held hands that were scratched, the blood mingled together and dripped into the river, and Mei's veil was blown into the valley by the wind when they kissed.That life was so romantic, not like true love, but it made me yearn for it.Looking for this movie from "You belong to me" sung by Dylan, and knowing that the ending is "The future" by Cohen, the whole thing is an audio-visual feast.

Sometime
My shoulder hurts and I'm sweating, a lot, a lot.

Difficult to restrain my appetite, eat very little, drink a lot, milk, water, wine, yes, I drank.

I seem to have a real alcohol addiction due to running out of coffee and the new ones haven't arrived, I like the kind of coffee drinks that have toppings.I prefer pure bitter coffee, the more bitter the better, don't drink fresh American, Italian or other, drink these outside.When you make it by yourself, you can savagely scoop a few tablespoons and soak a glass of water. If it is sour, thick, and bitter, it will have a taste, not drinking water.The burden on the stomach is too heavy, but the overall situation is okay. I drank while walking, and the meal cost was replaced by three degrees of wine, as well as milk and strong tea. God knows how high my Engel coefficient is.Sweat poured down, suddenly gathered, they rose, they fell.

When I raised my head and swallowed the last bite, I remembered that I had been vaccinated, and it had been a day, so let’s just pedal back to school.The city that whimpers, whimpers, there's not much to say about it at all.The city is now only honking, and it's hot, so sweating.What should I say to the first quarter moon, it is more like what it should be than yesterday evening, with a star next to it, but I have nothing to say, nothing to say to it.

Sweat drenched me and got into my eyes, which hurt very much. My hands were sweaty too, so rubbing them hurt even more.Neck dizziness, yes, dizziness, a dull discomfort.The lake water has been turbulent, and the evening wind is not cool.I know that I will live a very mediocre life in the future, and it is the same now. Many things have not been resolved recently.The weather is bad, or I'm not well, it's all sweat, it rolled down, and kept rolling.

The taste of being drunk... I'm not drunk!Actually not drunk, hey, I will not be drunk with white wine, I will only be so tired that I want to sleep, just because there is no coffee today, I told myself not to drink.What will it be like in the future, a drunk on the street?Come on, wandering, it's not wonderful, no fantasies about it.I know how hard it is to be a vagabond, especially for a woman, it's impossible to stay comfortable, you have to be wary of strangers.And I have to take a shower, wash my hair, take a walk, read a book every day, and never wander, wandering the world, it's not good.In China, there is no particularly decent way to die. I read a little about forensic science.I fantasized that I had a gun, like that boy named Neil, who simply sent his soul away for a midsummer night's dream, how simple, as long as he was impulsive, or was killed, in the era of cold weapons, as a boy, I I was stabbed in the chest by someone's sword and died in a meaningless battle. I don't care if it's dusk. Don't find out that I'm still alive when I clean the battlefield. I don't know which enemy common people smashed my face with stones, just to clamp it out. Two gold teeth.

Because I am a little drunk now, some kind of chemical reaction may have occurred, I have been outside in the heat for too long, and I have too many things involved, although I don’t know what it is that is boring, so I will be depressed and neurotic.I want to dance a messy dance in string music without lyrics, step lightly, and then get drunk peacefully and quietly, let's waste another day.Some songs are very sad, not only the melody, but also the lyrics, so I don’t listen to it now, I already have the melody in my heart, it has no sound, it is several types of silence.

There are a lot of things to solve, I want to go home, I should go back, the school has limited time, so I can't stay here for the whole summer vacation.Don't go back, it's not home.

I had no home, no relatives, a woman who fell into inexplicable relationships right away.But if you are not in love, you will almost have no feelings, and you will soon lose the ability to love.When someone talks about missing, is it really missing, or is it language.

I can't tell.Only her own heart can be grasped, even though she always acts like a rascal and repents at every turn.Instead of trusting others, I prefer to trust my own feeling, my feeling is: someone is speaking, what words are said.

Studying, I will have dim sum next year...English...A specific incident, I met a very shitty Puxin person, and I glared for the first time in a few months...Actually, I just tried to glare, trying to escape that conversation...Tomorrow I will go to Zhenjiang No, Wuxi, it's so hot in the afternoon, why should I spend time on the journey, the scenery in the world is similar, it's a hot day.Go to distant cities and see strange scenery.

I want to waste time with my lover, in the air-conditioned room in the hot summer, with the quilt rolled up and not going out.

I'm going to waste my time, wait until the early morning birds chirp, sleep, sleep until the afternoon, I get up, do nothing all day, most of the time silly, a small part of the time open the book, find one or two European slow-paced movies, Go for a walk in the evening, or go for a ride.I want to eat countless ice creams until my teeth are broken, and I will never drink ad calcium milk, it is too sweet.Follow the sunset every day, it’s different, beautiful, and the sunset is boring to death with twilight all over you, cities, lakes, songs, meaningless.

The sweat is gone, the tears are coming out, garbage, why are you crying?What are you crying for?It's not necessary, so I accept... I actually accepted it.

Sometime
How can I have feelings and enthusiasm for things naturally, just like him for travel, I really want to be fascinated.

Sometimes, I long for intense love, or the kind of short-term meeting that means parting but will be remembered forever. What have you experienced together, even if you are tempted by someone you met once, like May and Mickey, comedy and tragedy are fine. A truly romantic trip is not a place to visit, but a journey of life; and sometimes, I hope to spend time with each other and know my heart without words. Autistic, but can tolerate loneliness and longing.When the person I miss is close at hand, I don’t know what to say, there are many kinds, I just think, fall into it, no matter what it is, even if it’s a tragedy, at least I can love and immerse myself.

Is this a girl's fantasy, or is it my fantasy?Intense, intense, the past is too dull, I want to erase it, become a woman without the past, forget those memories, it belongs to another person, I just lived in her body for a while.

I have no parents, no town, no misadventures, no real books read, no relationships...

I'm lying, no, it's all wrong.The past, the past does not exist, to be precise, it does not exist anymore.

Sometime
"Am I a neurotic woman?" Ask yourself in the mirror.In the mirror, she had her long hair loose. During the day, her hair was looped three times, and it was a little tight. When it faded, her straight hair became a little wavy.The long hair on both sides just covered her breasts and was about to hang down to her ribs. She seemed to be a completely different person from before.There is a pair of idiotic and foolish eyes, sometimes it is melancholy and pompous, and sometimes it is indifference chosen out of guard.

I often feel that I have a kind of beauty, but it is not the beauty of a beautiful girl. A friend in middle school said that it is the "heroic spirit" that I feel inexplicably.I also often feel that I am ugly. Many friends jokingly call it baby fat, and then come to pinch their cheeks. I always smile.It would be nice if you were thin, with both frail and strong lines. When thinking about your body, you forget that you will get old, and some people will always be young, so you don’t need to remember this.

In a dream, I went to Hainan because a guy I knew went there.In a market, he disappeared into the crowd, so I forgot about him.The return air ticket is getting more and more expensive every day. Today it is more than 500, tomorrow it is more than 9000, and the day after tomorrow is more than [-]. I am stuck here.There is a map, surrounded by the sea, more like a group of isolated islands in the vast sea, and I am on its largest land.It's not deserted here, the night market is as bustling with people as Pingjiang Road, and a record store on the left front is also the Beyond Memorial Hall.I know the husband of that woman. He was waiting outside a certain store to send someone a message. He looked a little uneasy, probably intelligence.In fact, he was also a brother-in-law in my dream, but he did not exist in reality. I was in Hainan, and decided to forget the past and walk forever among this crowd.I returned a red power bank, but its interface was broken. I forgot whether it was the store on the left or the left. Later, I walked up a narrow alleyway with residential houses on both sides, white walls and black tiles, but there were no people on the road.Someone lost his infant child here, and an old man put some items on the bamboo sieve in the door along the road, so that the sun can't shine, so there are unique mold spots and a few ferns growing under the wall.Every cry of a baby comes from an ordinary family around. It is not his, and he will not look for it anymore. The man has no sadness on his face. He just walks. I walk more slowly, so he to the front

7/14

(End of this chapter)