endless roses

Chapter 47

Last night's gorgeous fireworks, looking at my photos, why did they take pictures of me as if I was crying, but in fact I was just looking at the lake.In the photo album, I recalled the dim moonlight, the outlines of a few pine trees darker than the sky, and the blurred lights of the city.There is a picture taken by my roommate that is so blurry that it looks like Monet's Camille in a trance, which is the woman holding the umbrella.The moon is just a small spot of light inside, and a lake with a vast and visible boundary. At that time, I thought of the phrase "people around me are like the moon", but I forgot the specific meaning and looked it up. It turned out that it was about beautiful women, so it's okay.

I also danced, I remember the Russian article, the young grandmother and sisters danced under the lights, the dance was unconscious, it belonged to the youthful girlish feelings, and the music played by someone in the distance , its embellishment is like the sound of the flute that the two of Dai Xiang had when they combined poems on that Mid-Autumn Festival night, I don't know who made it.And the old grandmother and her friends, that stranger, they were so bright in that distant Russian night, just like me and my friends holding fireworks.Yesterday I saw the photo of the wild duck standing alone on the water. It was a sentence of the two of them in their joint poem "Crossing the shadow of the crane in the cold pond, and burying the soul of the flower in the cold moon". words, such as the saying "Don't talk about state affairs":
"There are rattan chairs and tea seats in the house and under the awning, where we can relax and chat with each other. If you pass by, you can meet each other. Notes of "Don't talk about state affairs" are posted everywhere. From time to time, one or two managers come out to walk around , make tea, see off guests."

Let me tell you about its origin. The original text is: The room is very tall, with long tables and square tables, benches and small stools, all of which are tea seats.The backyard can be seen through the window, with a pergola set up high, and there is also a teahouse under the shed.There are places to hang birdcages inside the house and under the pergola.Notes "Don't talk about state affairs" are posted everywhere.

I can’t remember, but I went back and looked up the original text yesterday. Rose Garden is defined as a teahouse, a teahouse in the Jiangnan style.If you say something that shouldn't be said, there will be a lot of secret police like Song Enzi and Wu Xiangzi stirring up trouble, and there will be a lot of good people stirring up the flames, lest there will be chaos. Tea to see off guests" This meaning matches the teahouse very well. I changed it impromptuly, and the sentence is still fluent.

Speaking of Hantang, it seems to be about "tang" and "duo", "an", "tan", "bin" and "Tulun" It should still be included in the big dictionary)" There are also many details that can be distinguished, such as "pavilions", "pavilions", "corridors", "houses" and "balconies"... I don’t remember clearly, so I will study it when I am interested.

I like to change the text and say my own words, which is the result of small hours of training.More than ten years ago, my father often chose the first or the next sentence for me, and then asked me to write it down by myself or write it down at will. There are ancient Chinese and modern poems, as well as novels.At that time, my favorite poets were Luo Fuhaizi and others. I could only paint one kind of flower: lotus, which was influenced by the song "The Loudness of Many Lotuses".That song was copied in a certain poetry selection of mine in 2, and this book also copied "Snow White Wall", "Beyond the Smoke", "Sayan Nala", "Fatan", "Shuo Rat", etc. There is also a small essay by a British poetess, but I can't remember the sentences and content.But so far I haven't read these books of these people, it's not as fresh and enjoyable as I read them when I was a child.There are a lot of poetry collections in the family, which are debts owed by countless people. I only dabble in a little. One day 16 years ago, I wrote a paragraph on a sticky note, "I have been thinking about a question / the boundary between poetry and philosophy / which one is more suitable for life, and who can accompany you better"; at the age of [-], I wrote an article titled " Poetic Paradox"; Xu has already started to think about this question when she was a young girl.When I came across those poems, I felt very fond of them. They said "philosophical thinking", and I mistook them for philosophy. Considering the laziness of things and the difficulty of memory, I forgot where the car was parked and the movements taught in the previous class. The meaning of the word is the name of a famous person. It turns out that what I like is the poetic story of the philosopher. I like to see the world because of the ambiguous and gentle atmosphere. It turns out that what I need is a poetic dwelling, a poet who can’t write poems.How does the poet spend the snowy night?The person who asked Tuo Shi was at a loss, he was probably a straight man, the question was beautiful, I didn't answer, I just wandered around.

That little pearl necklace with three rings, that pretty denim jacket, Mary Jane leather shoes, rough handmade coffee, ice creams and cats in the world, how can I deny that these are not poems, And how worthy to be the person who commented on them.So just watch, just watch, occasionally play.

Some of them suggested playing music, and I turned on the song "A lovely night". The light whistle and dance music matched the beauty of this beautiful day.I was walking on the Muguan Lake Terrace with my friends. The three of them chatted in front of me. I paced two or three meters away. Occasionally, I heard some interesting additions, and everyone chatted together.

Am I a taciturn person? I don’t seem to be. It’s still very fresh as an example. In the morning, the English teacher said, “The prefix of the word manu has many meanings. You can look it up.”

I clicked on the electronic dictionary and typed out letters one by one, and indeed a lot came out. "Manu" means handmade, and it has something to do with the economy. The direct word means "Manu", an Indian god. I have seen an Indian movie called "Tabad", and the god is probably like this It is a kind of ruthlessness and shadow, and obsessives repeat desire, greed and hunger in it, slowly erasing their human part, leaving the wolf nature of Steppenwolf, alas.

The next item is "manufacture", manufacturing, manufacturing, products, fabricating, I can tell you about the manufacturing industry in Jiangnan, although I don't know much about it, but a shallow dabble is enough to chat; or talk about my own business travel The experience, the difficulties of stainless steel manufacturing skills, the development of the manufacturing industry in my hometown, the difficulties and care of customers...

"Manuscript" manuscript, original manuscript, handwritten, how many notes I have written by hand over the years, whether it is to record experience or gossip, or to pass on as a tool for classmates in middle school; the first few pages of a Mo Yan Reader I bought before Pictures of his handwritten manuscripts; a book designed by Jia Pingwa or Yu Qiuyu in a bookstore many years ago; or the secret connection between Marx’s original manuscripts and the Ping An Fund; Wang Kailing wrote a story about an old scholar who researched ancient Greek sages. The manuscript was burned by the thief, and the thief wanted his heart to be as barren as his own; did you know that before the death of an excellent writer, there must be many unfinished manuscripts in his drawer...

……

……

What is a chatter?

She spoke slowly between heaven and earth, slowly talking about these small daily routines, and occasionally calmly narrated an overwhelming
Although I talk a lot, I am still a loner in my life. Unless forced and interested, I will not participate in any group activities and generally have no interest.If you have something to chat with, you can chat, and if you don’t have it, you don’t talk. The environment, listeners, and chatters constitute a simple ecology, that’s all.

This is not consciously emanating in this way, and it happens when I see it.One thing and one thing to them, and a whole story behind them.Maybe this is my own uniqueness. Yesterday I heard Zhongzhong jokingly say "everyone carries a cake" at the hot pot restaurant, and I found it very interesting.I can sit quietly in my middle school seat for a day and post countless blanks.At that time, I taught a certain friend a game to kill the boredom of the class, that is, the refracted image formed by the characters on his head when the eyes look at the intersection of the lens and reality is just an ordinary physical phenomenon, but I joked about it as "soul ", so I can see the souls of people and things to play with every day.There is also the small circle floating in the eyes. I read a popular science introduction many years ago. It is roughly said that it is imaged on the retina rather than in the air. It is the cells in the eye. The best background is light blue, so you look at the usual blue sky. It is easier to find it, but I often follow it to play.As far as the eyes can see, I have taught the game method in this way, and you can try it too.

There are still traces of why they danced last night.The day before yesterday I wrote down on a sticky note "There is no escape/I can't ask my heart/I want to walk behind the moon/Standing under a street lamp, my heart was dancing at that time, a dance with sadness", so I had Yesterday's unconsciousness, in fact, it was already waiting to happen in my "should be".Everything I do, every object can add a meaning and interpretation, which is their "should be", not "is", so I take care of them, this is a kind of compassion and benevolence that treats everyone equally, benevolence The existence of the heart can satisfy a part of vanity, this feeling is simply wonderful.

Illusory gods don't care so much about the world. There is a plot in the first part of Jim Carrey's movie "Fake God". After gaining the power of God, he handles the trivial matters of the believers here for God. However, the number of people's wishes is terrible. , he converted people's prayers into a document format, and it took a long time to download.The world is complicated and chaotic, and God can bear it in just one region. No wonder God is always absent when tribulations happen, always working overtime, and family relations are probably bad.The fifth time in the Red Mansion, Xiangu led Baoyu into the illusion, Lihentian and Guanchohai, saying that there are so many women, only the important ones are recorded in the book, it is so simple, and there are countless "divisions" and "temples" to put these story.And the voluminous volumes are nothing more than the affairs of the Jinling family. The love between the past and the present, the love and debts, are so endless, and the hard work of those engaged in the management industry can be glimpsed.No matter how much I read, I only start from one place, and I can't talk about human affairs, not to mention that people's energy is limited, and interest comes and goes in a flash.It can be related to that battle, the game is nothing more than life is so boring after all, but after the game is over, I no longer have a deep impression.The song "About what is real and what is fantasy/ Throw it all away again, playing for today" sung in the song I am listening to now is very true. I'm so tired, let's throw these away, I am a person today.Speaking of being drunk yesterday, friends all knew that I was drunk. Drunk people often say "I'm not drunk", and normal people in mental hospitals will say "I'm not sick". If everyone thinks I'm drunk, then I'm drunk.In fact, this is the same as walking around in a dream, you can be confused at any time, and you can be awake at any time.I don’t think it has much to do with coffee. It’s just better than before, and the quantity is good. It’s only used as an ordinary drink many years ago. I’m greedy. The golden age must be like eating and drinking.Yiyun persuaded me to drink less, and went to find information to scare me so I found out that Voltaire was in his [-]s and was still a coffee can.

Typing while listening to a song is a recent attempt. It is an English song, and if you don’t pay attention to the content, you won’t disturb your mind.Just now there is a sentence "So sad all these lonely years", the Chinese translation is very good: "But leave me alone to lament these lonely years." I want to say that these lonely years don't need to be sad, don't need to lament, just enjoy it, this is An experience of descending to the mortal world, crossing the catastrophe and lingering.

Misreading is a wonderful thing. It happened that the teacher mentioned in the afternoon that "except for the reading of non-theoretical texts, the right to interpret other written things no longer belongs to the author." This is what I remembered many years ago. What meaning is the reader's business", the teacher talked about "author's intention" and "reader's intention", and mentioned Heidegger's villa and cabin, burned works, etc.

The teacher told us his anecdotes and things about work in front of us. The leader advised "take a step back", and he said, "it is so difficult to pursue the road of life, why should I retreat?" The president of Nantah University delivered a speech, the words "sincerity, respect, elegance and courage" are not bad. The person mentioned the conflict between reality and ideals again. Uh, I don't seem to have any ideals.Since I was a child, I have been "average in intention", hey, why did he play a Kunqu opera clip of an old man singing a peach blossom fan? Although it is not unpleasant, Kong Shangren would prefer girls to sing it. "Seeing him get up from Zhulou, seeing him entertaining guests, seeing his building collapse", alas, the world says that gods are good, only one thing can't be forgotten. There are also people who talk about "human history is waiting to be humiliated", the push of the official account, the articles in the magazines, Gou Rixin, day by day, there is no remarkable personnel.Kittens and puppies, jasmine flowers, stinky gutters, maybe 1000 movies, more than [-] dreams, a mosquito can arrange a history book and fate imposed by gods, big and small, it will open the corner of an ordinary woman's eyes Wrinkles are talking about it, you think I am in a daze, but I am actually observing the soul image refracted in the lens of a passerby.

He also said that Heidegger stipulated his own publication order during his lifetime, and it would take more than 100 years to complete his publications, so next year Weidian should push his new books.The famous mountain in Tibet has been passed down to later generations. When Hannah Arendt asked Lao Hai what your core idea is, Hai said that in volume 45, Hannah took the fox’s theory to connotate Hai, and you are a living The cave-dwelling hairless old fox in the cave, set up a porch and a lot of small animals trapped inside, can't reach the "land without self" that Wang Guowei said, in fact, I like Hannah better.

In the afternoon we talked about Xuwen, he was just floating in the wind, Tang Ji was lying on the clouds, watching, not wandering in the clouds.Xu Wen said before that he was already wandering in the clouds, and he was far from enough to talk about heaviness and lightness.I am as domineering as the previous "Fairy of Celebrities" incident. The wanderer is me, and I am in it but not in it. The name is worthy of the name, and you can't use it.I learned from old man Kong, it seems a bit old-fashioned and preserved.

Edgar Allan Poe, Pu Songling, Woolf, Faulkner... have no plans to read through in the near future, mainly because they don’t really want to read books, but just want to talk, talk, so that they won’t be too indulged in a kind of nothingness Here, looking at the world, there is a feeling of being alive, and that feeling makes me happy.I'm not really sad, I'm just drifting away, Gavin Hood has a space film titled "Ender's Game", that whole galaxy and battle, the galaxy thing is just a teenager's romp.So here I am also Ender, playing the role of a Sioux City bike girl & ignorant person.

After the aerobics class, I went to the first cycle, and suddenly I needed a vacation on the way, I needed a room and a pen, paper doesn’t matter, I can write it down on my hand, on the wall, on the ground... But today is Monday haha, everything It's a class even if I haven't taken it seriously.In front of my eyes, there were sporadic handwriting on the three disposable face towels.What I need is a six-day claustrophobia in Hemingway's "Spring Tide". No one is around, but I know I can disturb them at any time. When I go out, I will be in a busy city. When I close the door, only myself. Of course, this room must be equipped with a private bathroom. Every day To take a shower, the atmosphere is as messy and warm as my desk, considering that it may be experienced in summer, there is an air conditioner.Uh, let’s forget about fresh fruit. I bought a lot of McNuts, several brands, and many kinds of coffee. The toothbrush should be electric. I’m used to it.

Why can't I read Dad's essays, and why can't I read Pietro's masterpieces?Those aren't articles, they're just rubbish, with your fingertips resting on the keyboard, but mine seems to be rubbish too.The previously mentioned article on the past is still growing. Compared with it, all my other articles can be called "garbage".

At night in Bailuyuan, I took many beautiful photos with my friends.There is a photo of everyone laughing together called "Dancing Demons"; the photo of the impressionist painting is called "Woman by the Lake"; the photo with teeth and forehead is called "Sorrowful Smile"; ;The picture of the lake is called "Lake", and it seems to be such a bleak and peaceful smile when photographed, and I am not sad, for some reason.At the beginning, I called the images of last night "a bunch of youth", and later changed it to "a bunch of time".Youth has a sense of boundary, it is a specific time, and time itself implies flow and loss, which is more calm and easy-going than the former.

Today I am dressed in black, with black hair, a black T-shirt, black chemical fiber sweatpants, and a black jacket. I can say: I can start the game at any time.

Enter the game state at any time.

April 4, night

(End of this chapter)