endless roses

Chapter 63 The Red Mansion Theater
At the end of the performance, I told Zhongzhong: You go back first, I will walk around.On the way back, the hem of the skirt was lightly gathered, and the legs were exposed where the arms fell like a cheongsam with an open front.The air is brewing with light rain waiting for a while, so I will stay outside for the time being.

The "Legend of a Dream of Red Mansions" performed at the Art Center today was composed by Zhong Zhenkui, a member of the Suzhou Kunqu Opera Institute. It was first performed in Yangzhou in the fourth year of Jiading. Now I have seen it.

The first chapter, "Burning Flowers", has a few miscellaneous places. The opening chapter is to read "The Romance of the West Chamber" together, joking and cursing, and there are many hidden words.Baoyu quoted the line in the book, "I am the sad and sick body, and you are the beauty of the city and the country." She blushed and felt offended again with joy, so he persuaded his good sister and sister. "Lifetime Monument" and others said with a smile and said: "Bah, it turns out that it is a seedling but not beautiful, it is a silver-like pewter spear head."

On the way back to the house, Daiyu heard the twelve actors raised by Jia's mansion rehearsing operas, and they sang the most melancholy lines in "The Peony Pavilion", "What is the beautiful day on a good day, and who's house is a place to enjoy the pleasure?" What is it like "beautiful couples like flowers, like years like water", my mind is shaken, I am intoxicated, and my heart is sad and sad, and I always have to shed some tears.This is No. 20 in the third chapter "The Story of the West Chamber, the wonderful words and the jokes, the peony pavilion, the beautiful music and the heart", suddenly jumped to the funeral flowers.At first I thought it was a mix-up made by these screenwriters, but I didn't think it was very good. Later, I found out that it was a script written by everyone in the Qing Dynasty. Well, I don't want to comment since the Sri Lankan people have passed away, but the music is excellent.

It was Chapter 20 of No. 360, "Buried Swallows and Weeping Remnants in the Fragrant Tomb", Baoyu was rushing from the rockery in the garden to the flower tomb where Sister Lin used to go, and heard crying on the way, wondering which little girl it was Dong Shi imitates the frown (it’s very interesting here, when I first saw Baoyu give her the watch word is "frown"), I heard that Daiyu recited "The Song of Burying Flowers", I can sing the TV version of this song, because I am good at reciting poems, euphemistic There will always be a little bit of my own feelings added to the turning point.The flowers are fading and the flowers are flying all over the sky. Just imagine the huge cherry blossoms blowing down a few days ago, floating on the road one after another, and then passing by the vehicles and pedestrians, turning them into black mess or turning into dust, who would take pity on them.I would, but only for a moment.I only said a few words that left a deep impression on me, so I skipped a lot. Willow elm pods, they are bright and beautiful alone, and I don’t care at all about the peach blossoms and plum blossoms scattered in the years. The peach blossoms are slightly pink, and the plum blossoms are white. Light colors, light colors are not resistant to dirt, it is inevitable that you will be bullied by this world, the appearance of aging and blemishes is not important, but if one day the heart is also dirty, how can you live in this game-like world; they It's gone, and it will come back in the next spring, but next year's boudoir, alas, "next year" is a false word, and it can also be what a friend said "after a hundred years, who is who", how would I say, "One year For a hundred years, even tomorrow I don’t know what to do, I don’t dare to think about it, I don’t have to think about it”; “[-] days a year, the wind, the sword, the frost, and the sword are pressing against each other”, I am no longer free and easy, and my sister Lin is even less free and easy. So much so that I always cry with peach blossom eyes, to put it bluntly: big blister eyes, wind and frost are honed day by day, the years of living under the fence are uncomfortable, I have experienced many years, but only a few days a year are hearty In fact, there is no need, the thoughts can be arranged in the world, so that they can be indifferent to this sadness and live in a chic way; "Flowers are easy to see and fall, but it is hard to find, and the people who buried the flowers are killed before the steps", I don't understand, but I like this sentence; "Half pity for spring and half anger for spring", when you think of the word "anger", always be a little gentle, anger for spring, anger for Baoyu, anger for the old silk he sent, after all, love in your heart, so pity and anger, Just like the helplessness of netizens to the naughty me in the past; "Birds are silent and flowers are ashamed", have you found that in her philosophical world, there is also "Animism"; "A pure land covers the wind", "抷土", loess longtou sends bones, mandarin ducks sleep in red light tents, I heard that some important people in the old days went to foreign lands and countries, and before leaving, they would bring some soil from their hometown, put them in a small box and take them with them for viewing or occasionally order food , I won't do it unsanitary. I wanted to start with "抷", but suddenly I remembered Lu Xun's grave.An article reminiscing about him said that someone wanted to take a picture of him, and he said he hoped to go to the other side of the grave.

"The quality of cleanliness comes and goes, which is better than dirty water sinking into ditches. If you die now, you will be buried. When will you be buried? Today, the flower burial person laughs like a fool. Who will be buried next year?" This sentence Asking, I was at a loss for asking, and it was hard to convince myself not to be emotional these days, and I got hooked again.Idealists know that their fate will not be too good, what choice should they make at this time, accept it, accept it helplessly and calmly, and talk to themselves too much so that they can stop being sad.Only males wear a rhinoceros armor with Wu hook, and then make a deep and happy gesture, pat the railing and say that no one understands, and go to drink after speaking, I am just an ordinary woman, a not so free and easy swordsman who wants to take a modern style, curly The sword that has been lost will be thrown away; "Once the spring is gone, the beauty will grow old, but the flower will fall and the man will die." Since ancient times, the troubles of women, it is only that the color fades and the love is galloping. This is the reason for Yates’ novels. Everything is heading towards dullness. Jack just reads the newspaper silently in the morning, and Rose is also suffocating.I used to say this in the dormitory, and my friends said that only by dying young can I stay young forever, and told me not to say such words again.

She shoveled and shoveled the small hoe and buried the petals. Baoyu eavesdropped and began to miss those beautiful girls. He's crying too.Daiyu looked back and saw her go away with an angry sentence. The family's words were still in a daze, and she told Daiyu tactfully, since you are today, why bother.Who is Daiyu, the little sister who has internalized Zaan's temperament, just ask "how was it then? How is today?", and he doesn't know how to answer.She is so lightly asking for her heart, but it's a pity that this guy is dumb, alas.You drop a mystery, you drop the petals you embrace, and even throw them around to stir up the whole atrium, like green broken leaves in the Grand View Garden covering the path.

The actor said on stage, "Why are you crying", "I sometimes feel this way".I forgot who said that sentence, it seems that it could have been asked by him or by her.

"The fragrant words return to the embroidered mouth, and the flower dream is separated from the heart of the piano", this sentence was sung by Baoyu on the stage, still boasting, what's wrong with you, it's better to say it early, although the misunderstandings behind are beautiful, your forest My sister shed a lot of tears.She buried those petals, buried those past, just let them return to the pure land, don't bear the dust.

I neither agree with Shenxiu nor listen to Huineng. Bodhi is a tree, and the bright mirror is a bright mirror stand. The world is full of things. If you don’t protect them well, they will get dirty.

He hoe, when I was young, there was a painting on the cover of my Red Mansion. It was about the chapter where Grandma Liu laughed at herself at the dinner table and made everyone laugh. Wipe until the sketch paper is about to break, and finally give up and finish it hastily, which is not satisfactory.

The thin Zijuan told the fat Daiyu on the stage, don't be sad, it will hurt your body.Dai asked, "Is Sheng Nianguang talking about health?" This fallacy is actually quite easy to understand. I have a bad stomach, which is already bad, so try to eat cold and spicy food, and enjoy life to the fullest. Don't always say that it hurts your body, Xiaoxiao Don't keep talking about these trivial things, it's boring, just pay attention to it in a few years.

A few days ago, I read Hesse's "September", and I happened to like Haizi's "September", so I put them together. One is mourning Li Ran's loneliness in the garden, and the other is crying with the sound of the piano and has no tears. , The mind is tired, it is night, and it is lonely, ordinary lonely night, what gesture do you make?Thinking, is it flying freely in the vast sky like a bird with feathers, or is it always noisy like waves on the shore.

Hans, who painted Ali, asked, maybe you have traveled north latitude and east longitude, been busy in the mask society, and seen this man and that woman, so do you still smile like that?
Her little parrot can read her poems, I think it's a good poem to read all day long, which is fun.I seldom look back at the text I have written. About a week ago, I sorted out the notes I had written on the computer, and formatted many of them together.These are from the past year. I read a bit, but they are so noisy that it hurts to read a few sentences.It’s cool, the electronic file is just deleted, but it brings me the same feeling as throwing away a shoebox of bad dreams that I don’t want to look back at, and it’s no less than burning a few of my own notes and watching the ashes float in the firelight. It was such a beautiful year that I erased it from my memory.The text was also erased.

The second fold "Listen to the Rain"

Baoyu asked Qingwen to give her an old handkerchief. Sister Lin made five complex emotions of gratification, sadness, ridiculousness, fear, and shame. "Love", nostalgic for old people, she knew her heart after seeing her, and wrote a song "Autumn Window and Rainy Night", and proposed "Spring River Flower and Moon Night".The previous article felt a little bit sad on purpose. There are not many people like this song, but the singing voices of the few on stage are extremely bleak, and it is even more surprising when it comes to the turning point, and a lot of sadness comes out.

"Which house has no wind in the autumn yard? Where is there no sound of rain at the autumn window?", here is the quote from Brother Xun, the joys and sorrows of human beings are not interlinked.The reason why I mentioned "whose house" is probably because I really can't relax. I said that everyone came to comfort me like this. Every house will be hit by wind and rain, and every autumn window is so bleak. It turns out that the misfortune is not only me. Oh well balanced.Of course, it was also a question, which frightened Qiu Yu to suddenly stop in the air.It's just that some questions can't be asked, and if you ask them, you will have a thorn in your back and feel extremely painful.Zheng Banqiao has a famous saying called "It's rare to be confused." , the sound of the residual leakage urges the urgent autumn rain", a bit of a posthumous taste, Luo Qun can't bear the cold at five o'clock, flowing water and falling flowers, heaven and earth, in the dream, I don't know why it's a dream, so simple to experience and play, at this time there is still a storm outside , Occasionally it makes people feel uncomfortable; "I don't know when the wind and rain will stop", sister, this wind and rain, but it will follow for a lifetime, don't have too many beautiful fantasies that we can live a more mundane life.Just like the play said, "You are a sick person, you have to force yourself to find laughter", remove the second word, you want to find laughter.

Fisherman and fisherman, bamboo hats and glazed cups, the smiling faces of boys and girls are like fighting grass in Song Ci, beautiful makeup with green eyebrows, shameful face pink, and the teasing between pretty boys and pretty girls is pure and flawless.

Baoyu was wearing a three-piece set of coir raincoat, bamboo hat, and clogs from the king of Beijing Jing. As soon as Daiyu said he felt good, he became excited and said that he would give this exquisite bamboo hat to her as a snow belt in winter. Daiyu said no, it would be a fisherman up.Hee hee, what does it mean to speak "unconceived", she obviously thinks so!After blushing, she leaned on the table and coughed to ease the embarrassment.

So much so, Mu Xin has a short passage, let’s quote it: I love another person, there are many opportunities to express my love, think about it, get lazy, become friends, and are still friends today——Time flies, and there is something on the phone Talking and laughing, I was glad in my heart, but fortunately...otherwise it would be bitter.If these two are older, maybe it will be like this.

The place where the voice lines change makes people cry, isn't it, I'm getting old?

Zijuan said, "Don't be sad, go to sleep." I replied: "Okay, don't be sad for now."

"Burning Manuscripts"

Suona'er who went out of the boudoir and wedding here, and here asked the maid to take a brazier to burn manuscripts to end infatuation.Throwing this handkerchief and love that have been cherished for a long time into the fire, the words are torn, and the ashes are silent. Who will understand the story in it, alas.

The actors sang affectionately, "Kindhearted", "Laughing together side by side", "Like a lone bird lost in a flock"... I can't remember, but he said a lot.

The two "Baoyu, hello" were originally hidden words. Maybe time lingers for a while, and later commentators add a bit more viciously "You let me down" and other words, probably will not have such an artistic conception.I still take it as "Hello", which is "Hello, Baoyu" that can be said at the first meeting, "Hello, 2021", and "Hello, today".The truncated language stops abruptly like a lingering sound hovering and suddenly presses down on the strings to stop everything, like the empty hand of a goddess with a broken arm who doesn't know what gesture it was before, which makes people daydream.

The music is still floating, wandering, on the verge of romance.

"Sorrow"

He told Zijuan outside the door that when Wei Qingwen wrote the draft of Furong's daughter, Daiyu suggested that "in the red silk tent, the young master is passionate; in the middle of the loess, the daughter is hard-fated" and changed to "under the Qiang screen window, the young master is passionate." ", after going back and forth, Baoyu changed again, "Under Qian's screen window, I have no chance; in the middle of Huangtu Longzhong, what is your fate!" Do you know where the entrance is? In this way, the reference in the poem is quietly transferred from Qingwen, the flower god of hibiscus, to her, perhaps unconsciously, so after hearing that sentence, it is inevitable to "change color", what doubts and random guesses , I think it probably comes down to the "preset".In the dark, I saw my own destiny, I couldn't tell the truth, I didn't know how to say it was desolate.

The goddess of hibiscus, Qingwen.There is a sachet next to my pillow at the moment, and the badge on the metal ring says "Flower God", but it is plum blossom, but when I bought it, I heard that it tastes light and elegant, and I like the light blue tone very much.A clump of plums by the lake has extended several branches, and below are rocks and water plants with small white flowers.Some are not resistant to dirt.What kind of flower is Daiyu, 63 times he and they played "Zhanhualing" to celebrate her birthday, her lottery is "Furong", inscribed with the four characters "Fenglu Qingchou", on the back it says "Don't complain about the east wind, be yourself". However, she is not a lotus, or it is a lotus in water, that is, a "lotus flower". The lotus wind sends fragrance, and the bamboo dew drops clear.When she first joined the Begonia Club, Tanchun said that Ehuang and Nvying shed tears and formed spots on the bamboo, so the spotted bamboo is also called Xiangfei bamboo, so she has the nickname "Xiaoxiang Concubine". Corresponding to her crying, her residence is behind a few pillars. Hiding the curved fence, it is very quiet, so bamboo should be able to speak.However, these are worldly things, maybe even lotus and mottled bamboo are not good enough, she is still just the crimson bead fairy grass beside the three living stones of the Linghe River in the west, because she is not a mortal thing, so he has never dreamed of it.Once Xiren persuaded him, saying that everyone couldn't dream, which meant that Miss Lin's soul was no longer in the garden.Baoyu tried sleeping outside or visiting the garden, but she still couldn't dream.It is "long years of life and death, the soul never comes to dream".

At this time, Baoyu in blue sang: "The surviving person is like a traveler, returning to the loess suddenly. After the Yao Palace is gone, the dirty things will be out of reach."Thinking about it, I am a turbid thing, and the fairies really don't care about me, let's live my life in the world after falling down.After that, Baochai and Baochai were pretty good.

Also: "Heartbroken people and affairs are far away, how can heaven and earth forget you", "Seven strings, how many bosom friends, hard to say, know each other's thin shadow", "Life is like a dream, why should it be true", "How to relieve depression".

Kunqu opera is heartbreaking, but I don't really want to listen to it after she burned the manuscript. On the day Qingwen died, she even changed the sacrificial text with him. Now Baoyu has lost all inspiration, and it is difficult to sacrifice.If any soul sees the sun again, he will really bow his head.

The jokes and spring flowers of the past are comparable to the youthful love in Linghua, those laughter, they are far away.

I seem to have mentioned Natsume Soseki's "Heart", waiting or making people wait, who suffers more?The person who is missed, the person who misses, the person who loves others and at the same time is extremely longing for the person who is loved. Asking for nothing is the source of pain, and it is also very beautiful.

He asked Zijuan and Daiyu what they had said before they left, and how the scenery was after not going to Xiaoxiang Pavilion for a long time.Back to the words of the dead, she also described the lonely cold window where many people went to the Xiaoxiang Pavilion, and the fragrance and spirit disappeared. The mirror is dark and the dust is flying, looking at the present and recalling the past, how many lives are left in the blink of an eye, in the eyes of Liren, the moon is also extremely lonely.

Baoyu in blue clothes, I just ask, why are you crying?Girl surnamed Zhou, why are you sad?

I am in the fourth row, and the viewing angle is average.Tears are just held, not to the verge of falling, but a kind of sadness swept through many moments.

When I was a teenager, I read Zhou Guoping's writing about loneliness. He said that what loneliness seeks is understanding, not boredom or loneliness.The bored are self-loathing, the lonely are self-pitying, and the lonely are self-sufficient.Later, at the end of one of his essays, he mentioned Luo Dayou's phrase "Lonely child, you are God's favorite", which is very interesting. I heard this sentence ten years ago, and I only started to listen to it quietly a few days ago song.

Loneliness is the seed of loneliness.

Seeing my solemn expression, You was startled, and teased, "Why did Daiyu die when I raised my head?"

I told her in a low voice, this is just a modified version of the ancient Benkun opera, what are you doing, alas, this is not the whole story.Mentioning the sound of music that sister Lin left time and space, to burning manuscripts.

I can’t read words like Flower of Evil, they are not beautiful enough, they are written by filthy things, Baudelaire is criticizing this vast world, but no one adds a cup of tea to him in loneliness, so I hate it.It is too grand, so it is turbid.

It's just holding it together, not reaching the limit of wanting to drip, heartache but not crying.I regret not being able to write poetry now.

It was raining again on the road, and many words were hesitant to say, secretly hidden in the birdsong at dawn.

I have a problem with misuse of words, since I was a child.But it doesn't matter, do you know the source of "taking dreams as horses", it is an "idiom".It neither goes back to ancient times nor has any major events. The source is a poem by Haizi. There is a sentence that is impressive:
Like all poets who use dreams as horses.I would also like to bury myself on the surrounding high mountains and watch over my peaceful homeland.I was still reading poems yesterday, until Akhmatova’s poem, my nights were fantasies about you, but during the day I was very indifferent: “I don’t ‘force’!”

I smiled at fate, which brought me sorrow, and I read the taste of a domineering president; Dickinson's many small poems, she is the great writer who has put her poems in iron boxes for more than 30 years.

In the unshakable tune of the waves, he sang "Danxiao has a ladder, an empty mountain faces a wall" and "going away with a sigh".

……

The actors came to the stage to express their thanks, and people sent flowers of uniform specifications.However, Bao Dai, who is a Kunqu Opera performer, hugged outside the play, with bright eyes and a congratulatory smile, and hugged.

There is a long shot at the end of "Titanic", and the melodious music sounded. She dreamed that the sun was shining through the window, and the waiter opened the door of the auditorium for her. Hold her hand.That moment moved me, as if there was an alternative ending, and in that undetected parallel universe, everything was fine.

July 5, morning

(End of this chapter)