Entertainment: The opening and the official announcement of the national goddess

Chapter 820 Hilarious improvisational cross talk

The cooperation between the two has a solid foundation. Although there is no preparation in advance, and there is no draft check, the effect of the performance is smooth and smooth.

Yang Mi covered her mouth and smiled prettily.

The others were not much better either, all of them leaning forward and backward laughing.

Zhang Xiaodao: "It was just a joke just now, how can I really forget your name? This is Teacher Yu Qianyu, a celebrity in the cross talk circle, a famous alcoholic in the capital, oh, no no no no no, this is wine Zhongxian."

Yu Qian snorted and said, "I'm not as good as you even if I can drink. If you drink a meal, I can drink it for a year."

Zhang Xiaodao: "I didn't say it was the amount of alcohol, I just said the preference. You like wine, but I can't. I usually don't drink much at home."

Yu Qian held back his anger, and said every word: "I dare not drink it!"

"Woo~~~" Everyone booed one after another.

The camera immediately took a shot of Yang Mi, who pursed her lips and her eyes were full of smiles.

Zhang Xiao straightened his chest and said: "What do you mean not to drink? I have always been in charge of the family, okay?"

The first half of the sentence was straightforward, but the second half of the sentence was getting softer and weaker. Finally, he took a look at Yang Mi and added a sentence, which immediately made everyone burst out laughing.

"I'll go, Xiao Shen's acting skills are simply amazing."

"Crosstalk is not only about saying good things, but also being good at acting."

"Shen Xiao's lines are terrifyingly strong."

"It's the same line, others say it may not be very funny, but the little god can make people laugh out loud, this is the level."

"Top rhythm master."

"···"

Barrages flew across the live broadcast room.

Yu Qian sighed and said, "It seems that your family's tutoring is very strict."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Of course it's strict. I often give lessons to Yang Mi and tell her the benefits of drinking."

Yu Qianyi was overjoyed when he heard it, and said, "Then I really want to hear what you said?"

Zhang Xiao said: "I told Mimi so."

"Mimi, do you think I'm drinking wine? No, I'm drinking life."

"When I raise the wine glass, what I hold up is the vastness of the world, where everything grows. When I put down the wine glass, what I put down is the world's joys, sorrows, sorrows, and extinctions."

"A man who knows wine has a lot of pride because of wine, and a woman who knows wine has a little more charm because of wine."

"Come on, I'll pour it for you, let's have a drink."

Yu Qiandao: "I'll go, you really know how to talk, but in the end, did Mimi drink?"

"Drink a fart!" Zhang Xiao said: "Mimi poured the wine directly, and scolded me like a dog."

"Zhang Xiao, has your brain been kicked by a donkey? I still have to breastfeed my child. What do you mean by letting me drink? Do you want Xiao Xinxin to become a little alcoholic like you?"

Yu Qian laughed loudly and said, "It deserves it."

Zhang Xiaodao: "I saw that Mimi was not good, so I targeted Reba who often came to my house for dinner, and I thought in my heart that no matter what, I must drag one of their artists into trouble, and it will be easier in the future. "

Yu Qiandao: "Then what did you say to Reba?"

"That's what I said!" Zhang Xiao coughed, and said, "Reba, look at this glass of wine, its shape is water, its nature is water, it quenches the essence of five grains, and absorbs the aura of the sun and the moon."

"It's just like you with long hair down to your waist and good looks. You are only loved by your parents and cared for by your relatives and friends. You look calm and quiet on the outside, but you are full of enthusiasm and long for true love in your heart. Only those who have drunk can understand you. Your tenderness is like water, and your passion is like fire."

"Come on, let's have a drink."

"Pretty." Yu Qian gave a thumbs up and said, "This is so beautiful. If I were Reba, I could drink with you all day."

Zhang Xiao sighed and said, "So you are not her."

Yu Qian asked, "Did she drink?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "She only gave me one sentence."

"How?" Yu Qian asked curiously.

Zhang Xiaodao: "She said, bring your wine and roll as far as your thoughts go."

"Pfft!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Woo~~~"

There was laughter in the yard.

Yang Mi laughed until she burst into tears.

Huang Xiaochu asked: "Mimi, is this true?"

"No way, he made it all up." Yang Mi replied.

Huang Xiaochu praised: "Don't say it, Zhang Xiao's writing is really good."

The live broadcast room also became lively in an instant.

"Oh, I'm going, I laughed to death."

"Awesome, the literary skills of Laughing God are too strong."

"The shape is like water, the nature is like fire, quenching the essence of the five grains, harvesting the aura of the sun and the moon, this word is absolutely perfect."

"When I raise the wine glass, what I raise is the world. When I put down the glass, what I put down is the world. As a person who is good at wine, I just want to say, this is the best sentence I have ever heard."

"If I say that, I guess my wife can beat me to death."

"···"

Yu Qiandao: "You are really unlucky to have such a leader and sister-in-law at the stall, so have you gone?"

Zhang Xiao said angrily: "I don't know how to get lost, if you know how, you can teach me on the spot."

Yu Qian laughed and said, "Me neither."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Actually, alcohol is a good thing, but you must drink less. Drinking alcohol in moderation can speed up blood circulation, enhance the contraction function of the heart, and increase appetite. But it's different if you drink frequently, and it's easy to cause accidents. "

"No, some time ago, Teacher Yu had an accident because of drinking too much."

Yu Qian asked with a confused face: "What happened to me? Why didn't I know?"

Zhang Xiao said: "Think about it a month ago, when you woke up in the morning, didn't you feel pain all over your body?"

"No!" Yu Qian said.

Zhang Xiao coughed, and said in a low voice: "You have to say yes, otherwise, you won't be able to proceed."

"Ah?" Yu Qian yelled, slapped his thigh, and said: "Remember, it seems that such a thing really happened."

"Hahahaha!" Everyone laughed miserably.

Xiaochu Huang spit out the tea he just drank in his mouth with laughter.

He Ling clutched his stomach and lay down on the table.

Yang Mi, Zifeng, Peng Peng and the others were also leaning forward and backward with laughter.

The small move of Zhang and Xiao just now was simply too interesting.

In the live broadcast room, the pot exploded directly.

"It's the first time I found out that cross talk can still say that!"

"Absolutely, this is the strength of a master."

"It doesn't matter if you are wrong, you can be wrong no matter what you do, the most important thing is to make everyone laugh."

"Praise Xiao Shen and Teacher Yu for their reactions."

"It's awesome, it's really awesome."

"···"

Zhang Xiao covered his face and said, "It's so embarrassing."

Yu Qian hehe said, "It's really a bit embarrassing."

Zhang Xiao said: "Embarrassing, are you still happy?"

Yu Qiandao: "Didn't you hear what the netizens said, as long as we don't feel embarrassed, others will be embarrassed."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Although this sentence is a bit shameless, it seems to have some truth. In this way, let's do it again, and pretend it never happened last time, how about it?"

Yu Qian nodded and said, "Okay, I agree."

Zhang Xiao coughed, raised his voice, and said, "Teacher Yu, a month ago, did you wake up in the morning with pain all over your body and injuries?"

Yu Qiandao: "That's right, oops, it hurt me so much, I had trouble getting out of bed, I remember that we had a drink the night before, and then I drank a piece of wine, what the hell is going on? ?”

Seeing Yu Qian and Zhang Xiao fooling around their previous mistakes in front of everyone, everyone laughed again.

Zhang Xiaodao: "You really drank too much that day, and you forced me to drive you home and deliver it to your door, and you insisted on letting me in."

Yu Qiandao: "Yes, I am hospitable."

Zhang Xiao nodded, and said, "Yes, you have always been polite."

"Hahaha!" Everyone laughed again.

Zhang Xiao continued: "After entering the house, you wanted to show off to me, Zhang Xiao, look, this is my refrigerator."

Yu Qiandao: "I even show off the refrigerator?"

"That's right!" Zhang Xiao said: "Zhang Xiao, look, my color TV... this is our living room, let's go, I'll take you to our bedroom to have a look."

Yu Qian exclaimed: "Bedroom? Oh my god, how drunk should I be?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "I also heard it from you at the time. Why did you let me in such a private place? Later I thought about it, it's okay, you drink too much, I will help you to the bed, and you can sleep , I'll be gone."

"As soon as you entered the bedroom and opened the door, you yelled again, Zhang Xiao, did you see it, bed, my bed..."

Yu Qian shook his head and said, "The bed also shows off?"

Zhang Xiao continued: "The woman on the bed is my wife, and the man is me."

"Pfft!"

"Hahahaha!"

Everyone laughed like crazy.

Yu Qian said angrily, "Don't talk nonsense."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Who's talking nonsense? I'm telling the truth. I found out later that the man and woman on the bed are your neighbors. The reason why you were injured was because of that man who beat you."

Yu Qianchang breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "You scared me, I'm sweating."

Zhang Xiao said with a smile: "Actually, I'm more interested in another question, how did you get the house key."

"I... how do I know?" Yu Qian said.

Zhang Xiaodao: "Forget it, let's have it. What is the purpose of this storybook for me to explain? It is to drink less alcohol, not to excess, and more importantly, not to drink and drive."

Yu Qian nodded and said, "That's right."

Zhang Xiao said: "Okay, Teacher Yu, this is the end of the wine talk, please give me some time, I think about what I should say next?"

Yu Qian was speechless, and said, "Are you making up feelings now?"

Zhang Xiao said: "Nonsense, you didn't write the manuscript, I can't edit it on the spot, hey, yes, Mr. Yu, you have made a lot of money talking about cross talk these years, right? Do you have a car and a house at home?"

Yu Qian said with a smile: "Well, I made some money, bought a car, and bought a house."

Zhang Xiao sighed: "Hey, I'm envious, I can't do it like me, I don't even have a house yet."

Yu Qiandao: "Yes, people all over the country know about this. You have always lived in your wife's house. You don't have a car or a house, but you are worth hundreds of billions of dollars."

Zhang Xiao said: "This is now, not before."

Yu Qiandao: "You mean it won't work at first?"

Zhang Xiao nodded, and said, "I dropped out of school at the time and wanted to start a business and get rich."

Yu Qiandao: "Well, then go make a fortune? The question is what are you going to do?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "I have a dream since I was a child. I want to be a football player."

Yu Qian was taken aback, looked at Zhang Xiao carefully, and said, "You? Can you?"

Zhang Xiao said proudly: "Don't believe me, I signed up on the third day after I dropped out of school, and then the coach of the team saw me, that was a favorite, he said that I am better than last year's World Footballer Ronaldo It is more than 4000 times stronger."

Yu Qian exclaimed: "Oh, I'll go, then you are really a genius."

Zhang Xiao continued: "But he said that there are only two things that hinder my development."

Yu Qian asked angrily, "What are the two?"

Zhang Xiao smiled wryly, "Left leg and right leg."

Yu Qian said with a speechless expression: "That means you are not suitable for this job."

Everyone laughed.

Playing football is a genius, if you can't play left and right legs, then you can't kick a fart.

Huang Xiaochu admired: "This burden is overwhelming. I really believe that this is an impromptu collaboration between them. I feel that it can be broadcast on a regular TV station."

He Lingdao: "It's the first time I've seen the impromptu performance of two cross talk masters. It's really wonderful."

The cross talk is still going on.

Zhang Xiao said angrily: "Yes, I hate it too. Seeing that playing football was out of the question and I couldn't make any money, I thought I should go to a private company to apply for a job, so I submitted a resume and went for an interview. "

"The examiner didn't even look straight in the eye, so I said with a big mouth, 'Give you a minute to let me remember you'."

Yu Qiandao: "This is a routine, many companies say so in interviews."

Zhang Xiao sneered and said, "I thought it would be easy, so I walked over and gave him a big slap when I swung him round. I slapped him around on the chair eighteen times."

Yu Qian showed a shocked expression, and said, "Hey, with such a great effort, your solution is to say something alone?"

"Hahahaha!"

"Oh, I'm going, my stomach hurts."

"Just a big mouth, it can really be remembered."

"It's hard to imagine that this is an impromptu collaboration between Xiao Shen and Teacher Yu."

"···"

The audience in the live broadcast burst into laughter.

Yang Mi and the others were also covering their stomachs with laughter, leaning forward and backward, almost out of breath.

Zhang Xiao said proudly: "Yes, I will run away after the beating, do you think he remembers me?"

Yu Qian suppressed a smile and said: "I remember, I will definitely remember it, and I will remember it for a lifetime."

Zhang Xiaodao: "As a result, as soon as I got home, the news of passing the interview came. There was only one sentence: 'Please come back immediately, I have important matters to discuss.'"

Yu Qian asked, "Then have you gone?"

Zhang Xiao shook his head and said, "I thought about it for three days and three nights but I didn't dare to go."

"Woo~~~" He Ling and others booed one after another.

Zhang Xiao said angrily: "Don't laugh, I hated it at the time, turned the corner into the toilet on the side of the road, I washed my face, and said to me in the mirror: 'Zhang Xiao, you have to be strong, you have to work hard , such a little difficulty can’t defeat you, just keep going, and stay true to your original intention, and you will definitely become a rich man who gets rich quickly.’”

Yu Qian echoed, "You're right, you can lose everything, but you can't lose your dreams."

"That's right!" Zhang Xiao nodded, and said, "After I pumped myself up, my mood calmed down a little, and I came out of the toilet..."

"Hey, a man also came out of the toilet door opposite."

Zhang Xiao's eyes widened, and he looked behind in shock.

Yu Qianyi patted his forehead and said speechlessly, "You've been in the women's toilet for so long, didn't you look at the signs when you entered?"

Zhang Xiao said: "Oh, don't mention it, what is this? I covered my face and ran outside."

Yu Qiandao: "That's why I have to run away."

Zhang Xiaodao: "At this moment, another group of old women came out of the toilet to chase me, and the leader kept yelling, 'Catch him, that's him,' talking nonsense in the women's toilet, I was so scared that I didn't dare Out.'"

"Oh..." Yu Qian was also happy, and said, "What do you mean by this?"

"Hahahaha!"

"Oh, my stomach hurts from laughing."

"The laughing god is funny, and Mr. Yu is flattering. This cooperation is really unspeakable."

"These bundles are fantastic."

"The ratings of this issue of "Longing for Life" will definitely explode."

"···"

Netizens expressed their views one after another.

(End of this chapter)