Poor family rebirth girl

Chapter 246 The Unruly Young Official (4)

Sensing Su Ya's gaze, Shen Huai looked away from a distance, and found that Su Ya's face was almost filled with admiration mixed with distress, he couldn't help laughing, and patted her head, "Don't look at me like that, without you It's as good as you think, and it's not as hard as you think."

"It must be very hard." Su Ya said in a low voice.

He promised the emperor and traveled all over China for him, but in the end his relatives were detained, and he almost died alone in the distance.Serving the country wholeheartedly, but always being guarded against, he must be sad in his heart.

But these pasts, she has never seriously looked for him, even if he said that he has a lot of troubles, even when he put down all his pride and asked her for a home, she did not seriously study it.

In her heart, she always believed that this was a short-term relationship, so she just looked at the present as a matter of course. Even if she introspected occasionally, she always used the excuse that he was too powerful, and finally thought that all she had to do was respond to him.

She really didn't deserve his kindness to her.

"In short, I was young and had little experience at that time, and the opportunities that could be valued were nothing more than the delicate mutual checks and balances of the royal family."

Shen Huai saw Su Ya's expression suddenly depressed, so he slowed down his speech, and observed while talking: "As for later, as I traveled more places and read more secrets, I gradually became a For a truly 'useful' person, not only the queen mother and the prince were afraid that I would not return from a long journey, but even the emperor began to fear that I would really stand in the prince's camp, and this was a restraint."

Xu Su Ya's expression was too sad, he quickly ended the topic: "Okay, that's about it."

He was worried about Su Ya, but Su Ya thought he was anticlimactic, and asked, "When did the emperor not allow them to leave Beijing?"

"Last year, before the Guangxi incident."

"Tell me carefully." Su Ya urged.

Seeing that she really wanted to listen, Shen Huai continued to preach: "At that time, my grandparents said in the letter that they wanted to go back to their hometown to worship their ancestors, but I have traveled all over the mountains and rivers in the past two years, and I have seen more sorrows and joys in the world, and my mood has become more open. I have a better understanding of their original choices, and I have gradually let go of a little resentment towards my mother..."

Su Ya lowered her eyes and touched his sleeve silently. Why is this person so nice?
Shen Huai held her hand in the palm of his hand, "I was determined to go back and untie the old man's knots, so I wanted to go back to Beijing to escort them back to their hometown. It happened that I had just left the Tatar border at that time, so I deliberately returned to Beijing from Datong. The border map was sent to the palace..."

At this point, he suddenly paused, thinking of someone, but seeing that Su Ya was listening intently, he swallowed the incidental details and continued: "I thought this trip was over, and I could go home and get close to my grandparents." I’m close, but when I got home, they said they didn’t plan to go back to their hometown, they only told me what I had and what I didn’t have, and told me that everything must be clear.”

Su Ya frowned: "Is it the emperor and queen mother's instruction? You have worked so hard, why are they exerting pressure at this time?"

"Because the turmoil of changing the crown prince had just passed," Shen Huai said, "The crown prince narrowly saved the position of crown prince. The deeper the gap between father and son, the more delicate the atmosphere in the palace. And because I have the name of the prince's attendant, I have been out of the capital since I left the capital." From the very beginning, I got orders from the emperor, and I often wrote the customs of various places in letters, telling the prince to listen to it."

Hearing this, Su Ya couldn't furrow her brows, and asked, "So the emperor doubts your position?"

Shen Huai raised his hand to smooth the center of her brows, "I'm a little bit worried, the heights are so cold, how can the royal family have pure family affection?"

Su Ya sighed: "Too tired."

"Just get used to it," Shen Huai reassured, "I intend to avoid suspicion, and never have any transgressive words in the letter. The prince also has a few, and the letters never talk about political affairs. Therefore, although I know the turmoil in the court, I don't care about it." Take it to heart, when I saw my grandparents suddenly acting abnormal, I became suspicious."

"Afterwards, it was my father's curse that solved my confusion." He recalled the scene at that time, and laughed at himself: "My father can sometimes help save trouble. That day, he was so drunk that he forgot In order to be afraid of me, he rushed in and smashed a bunch of things, then pointed at my nose and cursed, saying that it was because of me that he took up a name in Honglu Temple, but he couldn't even get out of the city for thirty miles. How many opportunities to become famous."

Well, now the image of Father Shen is very full in Su Ya's heart, she pursed her lips, and said nothing more.

Shen Huai could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her, and it didn't matter, what he wanted was that she should not respect Shen's father too much, and if she didn't have illusions, she would not be constrained, used, or hurt.

"Although the things I do for the emperor are confidential, I haven't hidden them from those who care about me. The queen mother is keenly aware of the closeness the emperor treats me, so she naturally put pressure on my grandmother in secret. The exchange of the crown is a struggle between all parties. The mother and son, father and son Each had their own interests and losses, and felt that they could not completely control me, so they tacitly chose the same containment method."

"It really makes people angry." Su Ya said angrily.

"Well, get angry," Shen Huai said with a smile: "I figured out the whole story, naturally got angry, even the emperor and empress dowager want to make a fuss, how can father be allowed to go crazy with alcohol? I'm going to take my grandparents away now Jing, just leave those few people who don't care to keep them in check."

"But grandparents won't go with you." Su Ya sighed softly.

"Well, it's still Xiao Ya'er who understands people's hearts better than I do," Shen Huai said with a smile: "I want to escape by taking advantage of the loopholes that the royal family has not yet noticed, but my grandparents don't cooperate."

Su Ya was sad. This fool, who clearly has a delicate heart, always puts himself incomparably soft and low when facing the old man.

How could Shen Huai not know?But he said flatly: "I am an odd number in the Shen family. Although I have some talents, I am rebellious and difficult to figure out. The grandparents don't say anything, but they love their son more than me in their hearts. This is actually not such a difficult idea." .”

"It's just that I was too obsessed with wanting the love of my family back then, so I chose to turn a blind eye."

Thinking of those self-deceiving extravagant hopes, he shook his head slightly self-deprecatingly: "For example, at that time, I didn't want to get involved in those meaningless schemes, and my father's life would not be hurt if I left, so I thought that the origin of my grandparents was considered indifferent, and I shouldn't be nostalgic for prosperity. , will always follow me."

"It's not a matter of nostalgia for prosperity." Su Ya said silently.

"Of course they were very disappointed. They were shocked by my rebellion—the royal family valued me so they constrained me like this. How can the courtiers be picky? It's because I don't know what is good and what is bad. My father thinks that wealth is in danger and scolds me if I continue to act recklessly. , will definitely ruin the future of him and the Shen family, and say that if he is implicated by me like this again, he should die immediately."

"and after?"

"Later? Then grandma fell ill."

"Ah?" Su Ya thought, it was a coincidence that the old grandmother was ill.

"Grandmother was babbling in her illness. She grabbed my hand and kept repeating. She said that this generation had three children and grandchildren, but brothers and grandchildren killed each other. It is heartbreaking. Please let me read it because she loves me and gives those few Leave a 'way out'."

beg?
Because the white-haired man lowered his stature, he was willing to let Shen Huai make a compromise and change the future for those unsatisfied children and grandchildren.

Hearing this, Su Ya felt that countless boulders were falling into her heart, making her unable to breathe, as if she was suffocated in a swamp and couldn't get out, that was Shen Huai's retreat every step of the way!

She frowned and stared at Shen Huai, trying to find a trace of reluctance in his smile, but she couldn't find it.

Shen Huai said calmly: "It's all in the past, and now I only feel sporadic loss when I think about it occasionally."

Su Ya didn't believe it.

"Why lie to you?" Shen Huai raised his eyebrows and said, "When I chose not to kill my father, Mrs. Zhao and others in the early years, I was thinking that if I hadn't been protected by the two elders, I would not be able to be safe in the years when I lost my memory, so I decided to kill him. Let the elderly spend their old age in peace first. I have to bear my own ideas, and I have never thought of any exchange, so naturally I will not change things easily."

"What's more, at that time, I had already learned to calm down and understand that for them, the palms and backs of the hands are all meat, so I made a choice based on the overall situation, and the rest can be compromised. This is not a fault."

What's the big picture?

It's just that Shen Huai is a sensible person, and he can't bear the weight of those few people who are not human!
Su Ya felt sorry for Shen Huai's sensibility as a young man, but also for Shen Huai's desirelessness as an adult. If he hadn't tried his best to understand himself and trekked alone in the white mountains and black waters, how could he look back so calmly?
Children who are too sensible are always ignored.

She was full of anger and had nowhere to vent, so she held her face fiercely and squeezed out her complaints from the cracks in her palms: "It's not that they compromised, it was you who compromised in the end, and you will bear all the grievances!"

The hand holding the face was too hard, squeezing the tender cheeks to pile up in front of his eyes, Shen Huai looked funny, couldn't help poking, it was as expected slippery, poked again, and was slapped by Su Ya Drop: "What do you keep poking me for?"

Shen Huai withdrew his hand with a smile, and asked, "Are you thinking, why did you entrust you to them in the first place when I was so underappreciated at home?"

Su Ya really didn't think of this, but if he was willing to say it, she would also like to hear it: "Why?"

"Because there is no choice," Shen Huai said seriously, "If I die in Huai'an, you must be in trouble. Only by entrusting your grandparents to protect you. Once I die, they must feel guilty for me, since you are my last Entrust, they should do their best."

He thought for a while, and then added: "Besides, even if I expect extravagantly, it's okay if they don't treat you with all their heart, you have the property I left behind to protect you, and you have Gao Jun Xu Yuan to help you, at most a year and a half You will be able to get through all the troubles in Huai'an, then the sea and the sky will not be as wide as you want?"

Well, very good, this guy is thoughtful and appropriate!

Su Ya was even angrier.

"You never thought about it," she asked intentionally: "If that's the case, all your money and troublesome planning will only fulfill me in the end. At that time, I will have money and freedom, and soon I will have my own life. What does your new life, getting married and having a child have to do with you?"

"I thought about it." Shen Huai stood up with a smile, picked a peach blossom that was in full bloom, stuck it on Su Ya's hair, and looked around with a smile in his eyes, "Death is like a breeze, when I'm dead, even though I'm envious and jealous, I can't control it, just treat myself as this peach blossom, just decorate you."

Su Ya understood.

She really understands now: Shen Huai is addicted to taking care of others.

What rebellious?He is clearly the softest person in the world.

The pain that was hidden in time only condensed into his attachment to home and love.

He's so nice, but he's always being treated badly, it's really annoying!

　These days, I see old friends coming back again.

　　Smiling at Yunjuan Yunshu, the big guy who recommended tickets, Fenghen xyz, the id I remembered from the beginning, and Barolo, ZWF703804, Yaoyao... the sea is full of water, a nickname, 8714, you just Never left.

　　Does it mean that as long as I work harder, you will see such tolerant encouragement?

　　还有20210728144205997、20190901092327881、lucia0119、20220503130846610、20210728144205997、20180107210714500、20210215001755091等等大佬，谢谢你们砸过来的好多月票，比我自己吊儿郎当更新得的更多，感激不尽！

　　New students in March, I will work hard!
　　
　
(End of this chapter)