unfortunate black cat

Chapter 5 Deep in it
"On May 2020, 5, I thought about dying again."

In the messy room, with the sound of keyboard tapping, such a sentence was left on the floodlit computer screen.

A young man sitting cross-legged in front of a computer desk, wearing a pair of dull black-rimmed glasses, a teal plaid shirt and a pair of baggy horse-colored shorts, was staring blankly at a text document.

He seemed to be standing still, but also seemed to be thinking about something.

It was not until a long time later that his fingers moved again.

Deleted the words May 5th and changed it to May 10th.

Because he thought it would be easier to read like this.

But then, he began to think about the rationality of the word "die".

Thinking about using this word in the text, will it seem too contrived.

So what can it be changed to?

The young man thought about it from beginning to end, and even began to read the entire sentence aloud, trying to feel the difference in the words more deeply.

So, another six or seven minutes passed.

When he woke up suddenly, he vetoed his idea of ​​modifying the words because the other words didn't seem appropriate enough.

So, let's go with that.

Ok……

Finally, it should have taken about 10 minutes.
The young man finally finalized the first sentence of the suicide note for a certain character in his pen.

"On May 2020, 5, I thought about dying again."

Immediately, the young man continued to write a question and answer in the empty computer text.

"Why do you want to die? The reason for this may be difficult to explain. It may seem extremely ridiculous to describe it."

Then he frowned again, and began to make rounds of revisions to the above content endlessly.

"Why do you want to die? It may be difficult to explain the reason. If you describe it accurately, it will probably make many people feel extremely ridiculous."

"As for why you want to die, the reason may be difficult to explain, and it may seem extremely ridiculous to describe it."

"As for why you want to die, it may be difficult to explain the reason, but if you describe it, it will probably make many people find it extremely ridiculous."

In such meaningless changes.

The young man recited a simple statement back and forth dozens of times.I disassembled every word, broke it into pieces, and experienced it repeatedly.

But I can't find a context that I think is accurate.Sometimes when I get stuck, I keep checking punctuation marks and sentence breaks.

In his eyes, the sparse and common words gradually became extremely complicated.

Even in the following narrative, he even considered:

Whether the same words should not appear consecutively, whether the succession of paragraphs rhymes, whether the sum of words can be divisible by the number of chapters.

He tried to keep his writing tidy.

But in turn, he realized that his behavior was pathological, so he wanted to break the frame.

Unexpectedly, in the end, his thinking actually strengthened the bondage.

And so on and on and on.

Until the end, the youth's thoughts completely turned into a mess.

"what!"

Finally he howled, lay down on the table and grabbed his hair.

In the second year of living alone, He Wen felt that he seemed to have lost his ability to write.

He had a disease, an obsessive-compulsive mental illness stemming from certain types of factors.Affected by this, he suffered from many symptoms of anxiety and depression.Then I had to adjust my daily living conditions by taking drugs.

He felt like he was going crazy, yes, he was going crazy.

In chaotic words and paragraphs, under illogical sentences.

It seemed that there were countless tongues, constantly arguing about some unsolvable questions, and at the same time forcing him to answer them.

But He Wen didn't know the answer at all, so the voice in his ear couldn't be stopped.

"what……"

Among the tables and chairs piled up with sundries, the young man who had vented his emotions was panting wearily.

He wanted to quiet the voice in his head.

At this moment, there is no doubt that I really want to.

……

Recently, ginger has found a new way of foraging.

It is different from accepting charity from others, or looking for leftovers from restaurants, but adopting a more "dignified" way to maintain one's own survival.

Taken together, such behavior is often referred to as hunting.

That's right, Jiang Sheng learned to hunt in the city.

As for where its "hunting ground" is, it is actually not surprising, the exact location is in a river beach on the edge of the city.

The water in that place is not deep, and it is connected to a small stream, so wild fish often swim by in groups.

This undoubtedly provides Jiang Sheng with an excellent fishing place.

The spacious and clear riverbed provided it with complete conditions to maximize its own advantages.

The black cat's fishing method is roughly as follows: first let the black air on its body "disturb" the behavior of the fish school, making them unlucky and sluggish.

Then, like a stone, it quietly waits where it thinks is appropriate, just waiting for any fish that doesn't open its eyes to swim to its side.

In the end, it will use its sharp claws and fangs, as well as strength far superior to ordinary house cats, to break through the water and capture it.

It must be admitted that this method does have a bit of a wait-and-see flavor.But the skills included between the two are far from each other. (lifelike)

Luck, patience, and strength are all indispensable. This is Jiang Sheng's "way of survival".

"Meow!" With a menacing meow.

Another palm-sized grass carp was slapped on the river bank by Jiang Sheng, flopping about feebly.

Slowly walked to the other party's side, and picked up the belly of the fish with his mouth.

He didn't care about the strong fishy smell, but the cat's taste buds made Jiang Sheng squint his eyes comfortably.

At this moment, it has to admit that the resentment on itself is not useless.

"Resentment", this is Jiang Sheng's name for the black qi bred in his body.

There is no special reason or conjecture, just because their concepts are not so auspicious, so Jiang Sheng equated the two parties.

As for the control of resentment, Jiang Sheng has not made any progress so far.

It seems that as long as it is a living thing that has been close to it for a long time, it will be affected by this ominous breath, and then become bad luck.

The degree of unlucky fluctuates up and down, and Jiang Sheng himself can't figure out the pattern.

From the fish's point of view, sometimes it's just a momentary trance.And sometimes, the sudden sudden death made Jiang Sheng not know what to say.

"Thorn."

Cleanly tore off a piece of white fish, Jiang Sheng lay on the grass by the river beach.While wagging his tail, he enjoyed his lunch.

Its life is still peaceful, except for the poor fish, even the occasional butterflies will not be disturbed.

A week after Xia Zi moved away, Jiang Sheng, who just watched her leave, resumed a careless life.

(End of this chapter)