I work as a teacher at a girls' school in Tokyo

Chapter 9 A Knife Named Gentle
Traditional Japanese room, tatami floor, wooden table, cushions, classic taste.

As a meeting room, the lighting and ventilation settings are also very good.Not far away, the wooden Japanese-style sliding door is open, and you can see the courtyard in the evening.

The dim outdoor world also reflects the brightness of the overhead chandelier at this moment.The bright light sprinkled on the clean and tidy ground, illuminating a dazzling pool of water.

Beside the water mark, the delicate teacup rolled a few times, stopped firmly, and made no sound.

Then there was no sound in the whole room.

All was silent, like an ordinary winter evening.But the scene in front of me is definitely not.

The air seemed to condense, freezing everything in the space.The scene presented in front of Hirakawa Tetsufumi became a static painting.

Beside the wooden table, a young girl in a western-style uniform, plaid skirt, black stockings, and bow tie on her chest stood up and looked directly at her mother.

Opposite her, the lady in exquisite traditional kimono was sitting dignifiedly, her expression remained unchanged, and there was a gentle smile on the corner of her mouth.

This still picture continued until the sound of the wind rang in the courtyard.

The cold winter wind blew the green plants in the courtyard, and there was a sound of "crash", and at the same time, Shinohara's mother spoke.

Her voice was as gentle as before, without unnecessary ups and downs, and her tone did not contain the slightest reproach: "Shizhi, you are so rude."

"..."

In contrast to this is Shiori Shinohara.

A well-known writer with hundreds of waistcoats wrote this sentence:

"If you don't break out in silence, you will perish in silence."

The seemingly gentle respect from the mother for a long time, the respect that makes people irresistible, the respect that makes people so heavy that they are suffocating and silent.It envelops her like a whirlpool, drowning in the water without making a sound.

And now, some meddling teacher gave her a hand, and she surfaced.

"Excuse me?"

An extremely sarcastic question.

"Of course too..."

"What's a faux pas?"

"Like now..."

"I'm like this?"

"certainly……"

"Still like your mother?"

"..."

The girl interrupted her mother's words one after another, and the cold answer echoed in her ears like the winter air, and the resentment she had been unable to speak for a long time was poured into the answer.

Disrespect, what is disrespect?

Is she like this now, throwing the teacup on the ground in anger, is this called faux pas?
Or is it impolite to interrupt the mother's opening sentence?

"If mother's faux pas refers to this kind of disrespect, it refers to what I do now. Then I admit that Shiori was indeed disrespectful, absolutely disrespectful, and I apologize to you."

"but--"

Shiori Shinohara had a mocking smile that was completely different from that of her mother who was still smiling at the moment.

"But if Mother's faux pas means something like yours..."

"It refers to maintaining the so-called false superficial etiquette like you..."

"It refers to the hypocritical approval of everything about your daughter like you..."

"It refers to the desire to control that hides under the gentleness like you! It refers to the words that no matter what I do, I must follow your instructions, and once I violate it, it is the so-called disrespect!"

The girl faced her mother directly and gritted her teeth.

"I'd rather be rude!"

"Shizhi..."

"What the hell are you doing!"

I couldn't bear it anymore, and my eye sockets turned red after this sentence.

"Master, I don't need your hypocritical respect at all!"

"I'd rather you be angry with me and express disapproval of my ideas. I'd rather be like this. I'd rather be like this than you agree on the surface and force me to change afterward!"

"Do you know! Shiori really doesn't need your respect, really doesn't need it, absolutely doesn't need it, no matter what!"

As if venting her emotions, the girl yelled at her mother with all her might.

"Please, please listen to my heart, okay?"

"The only request this time, my daughter really please, please stop maintaining superficial respect like this, okay?"

"Please listen to my request!"

Shouting, I can no longer see clearly, and I don't know the expression on my mother's face.His eyes were blurred and his body was drained of strength.

"Please..."

I bowed deeply.

In winter, the tears that made the face feel cold fell on the ground, "Pa-ta", "Pa-ta", two sounds sounded one after another in the quiet room.

A long silence followed.An uncomfortable silence.

"Shiori."

After an unknown period of silence, my mother finally spoke.

"Yes……"

Shiori Shinohara answered softly with a weak voice.

"are you tired?"

"..."

The girl didn't respond, but her mother's self-contained inquiry still came from her ear.

"Do you need to go back to your room to rest?"

"..."

"Go ahead, wait and I'll call you down for dinner."

"..."

Shinohara Shiori finally raised her head to look at her mother with the last of her strength, but her eyes were still blurred and she couldn't see her mother's expression.

"Mother mother..."

"Huh? What's the matter? Uh...you want to ask me about what Shiori just said?"

"……Um."

"That's it."

In the blurred vision, the mother nodded slightly.

"Of course I respect your opinion."

As always, the tone is gentle, like a gentle wife.

"You are my daughter, I respect your opinion no matter what, right?"

"..."

"..."

In the blurry world, she couldn't see her mother's face clearly, but Shinohara Shiori clearly outlined a smile as always.

She had no strength left to refute, no strength at all.

I didn't have the strength to speak, nor did I have the strength to stand, my body was staggering, and I was about to collapse on the ground.

She had never escaped her mother's prison, a prison her mother wove with her desire to control.She stood in the prison, waiting for a knife named gentle to carve her into a shape that the sculptor was satisfied with with seemingly harmless gentleness.

She should never have the chance to escape again.Not before, not now, and never will be.

Shinohara Shiori thinks so.

She lowered her head again, looking at the clean and tidy ground, and at the glaring water marks on the ground.

In the reflection, the bright light from the ceiling entered her eyes.

It is now mid-February, and the third semester is about to end. When the school starts in April, she will say goodbye to the performance department.

Ok.

"..."

"..."

"Student Shinohara."

"..."

"Xiaoyuan-san?"

"..."

I can't feel the passage of time, I don't know how long it has passed.Shiori Shinohara, who had given up completely, suddenly heard someone calling her.At the same time, the blinding light in the water trail was covered by a shadow.

She raised her head, and a figure appeared in the blurry world.

"Teacher Hirakawa..."

"Yes."

Gentle, comforting tone.

"It's okay, Shinohara-san, let's go rest for a while."

"I……"

"It's okay, you have done a good job and fully expressed your wishes."

"But……"

"Don't worry, it doesn't matter if you don't get accepted. We agreed, and I will convey the wishes that Shinohara-san failed to convey for you."

Although I can't see it clearly, I can feel that there is a warm smile on Mr. Hirakawa's face. This smile is definitely different from the gentle smile on my mother's face on weekdays.

"Ah."

Not knowing what to think, Shinohara Shiori nodded.

(End of this chapter)