Rebirth begins with rejecting girlfriend arrangement

Chapter 247 I Want to Kill My Past Self Viciously

Chu Yang originally thought that he would stop wasting his life for that little thing under his buttocks, and he could face the world with a normal mind.

but.

Even the trivial matter of taking supplies is disgusting, and Huang Weixing's face still irritated Chu Yang's heart.

My cultivation will never reach the state of mind like still water, and I still have a raging flame for this right in my heart. This desire cannot be suppressed, which makes me very moved and surprised.

I used to be that kind of person too.

I am grass.

Chu Yang had a deeper understanding of himself. He thought he didn't care much, but it seems that his fall was not wronged.

Young and frivolous, drifting a little.

It’s very comfortable to be on the plane. Arrange flowers, drink tea and flirt with Li Xiaomei. It’s very suitable for retirement. But Chu Yang is only 26 years old, and at the level of Qijilang, just one Li Xiaomei on the plane is enough to fill the gaps between his teeth. .

So it feels like a bit of a waste here.

Moreover, Chu Yang was disheartened and didn't want to work hard for Mr. Xie.

The matter of the hydropower station shows that he himself acquiesced, but he deliberately ignored it and made the mess out.

He actually regarded himself as a pawn, so he didn't care about the feelings of a monarch and his ministers. Chu Yang had to think of Uncle Huang's words. Since he had nowhere to go in Butai, he should also leave this sad place and go to the to the city.

In fact, Chu Yang should have gone long ago. He didn't agree to Zhiying at the beginning, most of the time it was because of his own weakness that he didn't want to get out of his comfort zone. Now that the comfort zone is gone, he has to get out.

But how to do it is a big question.

Last Saturday, Chu Yang actually went to Uncle Huang's house for dinner, and the whole process was just as enjoyable. Huang Ling's girl has grown up a lot, and the pressure of studying in the second year of high school has not crushed her development.

But I didn't have the courage to tell Uncle Huang what happened to me now.

I don't know what I'm hesitating about, what I'm afraid of, anyway, I can't explain it.

This may be the man's weakness.

On Sunday morning, while she was still sleeping in the dormitory, Zhiying called and said that she had arrived downstairs in her dormitory.

Chu Yang was a little surprised. He didn't expect her to come. After struggling for a long time, he went down and chose to meet her sloppily.

Zhiying wore her prettiest pink dress, with a white belt around her waist. The white belt was like the golden ratio line of her body, separating her upper and lower parts.

The upper body is round and full, and the lower body is tall and slender.

From a distance, it looks like a fairy, slim and graceful.

When Chu Yang got closer, he realized that her eyes were red and her delicate body was trembling.

"How did you come."

Chu Yang wanted to touch her head, but he held back. For some reason, there was a sense of distance between the two of them.

"Chu Yang, are you okay?"

Zhiying was a little sad because Chu Yang didn't hug her. In the past, Chu Yang would rush over to her as soon as he saw her.

"I'm fine, don't worry." Chu Yang finally touched her hand.

"Also said it's okay, walk with me." Zhiying came over and took Chu Yang's hand, leaning her body against Chu Yang's body.

When Chu Yang smelled her breath, he was very intoxicated, and at first he was in pain. Thinking of the group of people behind her Li family, he felt very uncomfortable.

The two walked to a nearby park together and sat on a small bench.

The bench is cool and the butt is comfortable.

"Chu Yang, I really don't care what position you have."

"But I care, your mother cares, your father cares, your cousin cares, your aunt cares, don't you?" Chu Yang answered in one breath.

"They're not me."

"But you can't live without them."

"So you're going to break up with me?" Zhiying's eyes turned red.

"It's been three years. I haven't done it. It's my problem." Chu Yang didn't know what to do. Is letting go also called love?

"Chu Yang, who am I in your heart?" Zhiying stared at Chu Yang firmly, feeling a piercing pain in her heart.

"Impeccable girl, good-looking, intellectual, good family conditions, everything is fine." Chu Yang blurted out.

"I'm not perfect. I'm just like other little girls. I think about each other, worry about gains and losses, and I'm very fragile. I just want a sweet love." Li Zhiying has always been too cautious about love.

"Zhiying, I'm sorry, I let you down. I thought I could satisfy your parents' request, but it was too true."

"Chu Yang, would you like to come to Shishi Company? Would you like to come? I'll ask my mother."

"I don't need your mother to pity me." Chu Yang wanted to go to the city company, but he couldn't pass her mother.

A man's self-esteem does not allow himself to do this.

Zhiying left, leaving disappointed.

After eating, Chu Yang didn't go back to the dormitory, nor did he want to go back. He was afraid of being lonely. Instead, he kept walking on the street with no purpose, just wandering. When he was the office manager, he rarely had such free time.

Usually, they either follow Mr. Xie to socialize, or work overtime in the office reviewing manuscripts.

Today is also considered rare.

When I first came to the city of Butai, I still felt that this place had few industries and a small place, but the air was good and the people were kind.

It seems to have changed now, with more people and more cars, more hotels and more bars, and a slightly intoxicating smell in the air. Some people say it's fireworks, but in Chu Yang's eyes now, this It's the smell of decay.

Every advancement of civilization is indeed an expansion of desires. It may have been just food and clothing before, but now it has reached sex and desire.

This world is changing every moment.

Time is the greatest driving force of all things.

Women are one of the biggest factors in all change.

Unknowingly, it changes everything, the city, and the people. Is it possible that things that I could not achieve in my previous life will end up the same in this life? Is life already predestined?
Before he knew it, Chu Yang came to a small alley. It was surprisingly quiet and there were few people there. He looked around and saw a few crosses, words like "Allah" and some abstract paintings. western oil painting.

After a closer look, I finally found out that this place was originally a Christian church.

something.

Chu Yang really didn't expect that there would be such a place in this small city. It could be seen that the church had declined, the facilities were dilapidated, and he didn't know how to maintain it. Chu Yang was a little curious, so he walked in and saw a A woman in a black turban prays with her hands folded.

I don't know if he is the head of this church.

She is very devout and murmurs: "God, please give me the peace of mind to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to do the things I can change, and give me the wisdom to distinguish between the two. Don't worry about tomorrow, enjoy every moment, regard suffering as the only way to success, and regard frustration as a sharpening stone to hone your will."

Just such a passage was a bit like chicken soup, but Chu Yang was fascinated by it.

Think of suffering as the only way to success, and take frustration as a sharpening stone to hone your will. If you speak very philosophical words, you can’t imagine that Christianity can say such profound words.

Although I don't believe it.

After a while, the woman put down her kerchief and came out. She turned out to be a bald, fair-faced, pretty person with a calm and peaceful expression. When she saw Chu Yang, she softly uttered: "You Are you also here to ask the Lord?"

Chu Yang quickly waved his hands and replied, "No, I'm passing by."

The woman showed a calming smile: "If you have anything, you can tell the Lord, and the Lord will take care of you."

There is only one belief in Chu Yang's heart, which is unshakable, but he will not say that he has any contempt for other beliefs. The last time he went to Buddhism with Uncle Huang, he also felt that he had gained something, so he replied respectfully: "I am not faithful. believer."

The woman didn't take it seriously, and said: "You are here, it means that you have a destiny with the Lord."

"I don't believe in fate." Chu Yang thought it was ridiculous. Do you still want to influence me?

The woman was neither anxious nor impatient: "Is there something unhappy about you?"

Chu Yang: "Everyone has unhappy things."

The woman looked up at the Lord: "Actually, people are miserable people, and they all need a myth. In this myth, people will be invincible and can defeat all evil. This myth is the Lord."

Chu Yang didn't expect that she really wanted to develop herself into a believer, and didn't know if this guy had a mission, so he could only answer: "When a person lives in this world, he is his own master, and he is the only one." source of meaning."

Unexpectedly, Chu Yang would also be discussing philosophy with a Christian believer.

Chu Yang didn't expect that he would say such a sentence that he didn't even believe.

The woman was still in a hurry: "If people can really be their own masters, then there won't be so many people who died violently and lived in pain. Human beings are too fragile. They are so fragile that it is difficult to guarantee their own survival. People need to go to the space beyond self-existence to find the basis for living, and the Lord is our basis for living in this world.”

"You are poisonous." The woman's voice was like magic, a few words messed up Chu Yang's firm Dao heart, Chu Yang couldn't take it anymore, he ran away quickly, and ran out of the entire alley.

But this voice, as if it came from my heart, has never been eliminated or verified.

Chu Yang ran for a few steps, then turned his head, but found that even the lights on Christianity were off.

The woman was never found again.

As if it never existed.

Chu Yang was glad that he ran fast, otherwise he might stay inside forever.

Live in pity and misery, in vanity and emptiness.

I have to connect effectively with reality.

It can't go on like this.

So Chu Yang decided to kill all his past self, to lower his head again, to start all over again, and to slap those who looked down on him severely.

The goal is also very clear.

The first step is to go to the city and occupy a hole there. Only in the city can he make a comeback.

PS: Christian believers, don’t be too substituting, it’s all fiction.

(End of this chapter)