A song under the sea, depressed the whole network

Chapter 114 Bookkeeping (big chapter)

The same scene happened in countless places.

Like Jing Pengfei, many people clicked on Baizhu's promotional video.

The simple picture touched many people, but also made many people fail to understand.

They didn't understand the essence of what this promotional video wanted to tell, but the brief plot in the screen also made them stop all the words they wanted to scold.

Regardless of the movie, this promo looks a little interesting.

Many people have this idea in their hearts.

At the same time, Bai Zhu's humming sound also slowly sounded at the end.

Yue Xiangqiu, who was sitting in the car, heard a faint guitar sound from the earphones, and the piano was mixed into the arrangement, making the music sound more elegant.

She didn't watch the "I Am Sam" promotional video. In Yue Xiangqiu's view, this kind of movie about family affection has always been a show of emotion, and it is always a routine.

Earned the tears that cost nothing, but it didn't change anything in the blink of an eye.

Just at this time, Bai Zhu's singing voice appeared.

"In [-], the crops hadn't been harvested yet."

"Daughter lying in my arms, sleeping so sweetly"

"Today's open-air movie, I don't have time to watch it"

"My wife reminded me to fix the pedal of the sewing machine."

This song changed from Bai Zhu's singing style that he used to like to show off, it was very plain, as if he was telling a story softly, Yue Xiangqiu was a little surprised.

The song is not bad, but can it be written in this way to bring emotion?
Bai Zhu was a little whimsical.

It's just that when Yue Xiangqiu heard this word, he couldn't help recalling his childhood in his mind.

She remembered that it was summer, the rice fields were growing well, and Yue Xiangqiu had never forgotten the emerald green color.

The summer wind is very beautiful, and it is very comfortable to blow on people.

It was a summer night, and she was also lying on her father's body. The bamboo and rattan rocking chair in her hometown was very refreshing, and that was the time when she slept most peacefully.

"It's boring."

Yue Xiangqiu said something softly, with disdain on his face.

Finally, I calmly listened to the singing in the earphones.

"Tomorrow I'm going to my neighbor's house to borrow some more money"

"The child has been crying all day, clamoring for biscuits"

"The blue polyester card top, the pain drills into my heart"

"Squatting on the edge of the pond and punching myself twice"

The guitar sound is very good, which makes Baizhu's singing voice more narrative, as if the scene is right in front of you.

The calm Yue Xiangqiu didn't know why, but felt a little uncomfortable.

The father lying in the funeral home seemed to be still in front of her eyes, as if he hadn't gone far.

Yue Xiangqiu didn't like her father, and she disliked her very much when she grew up.

She felt that her father was very patriarchal because she was not a son. When she said that she was going to college, her father complained all night.

This matter has been buried in Yue Xiangqiu's heart for a long time.

She felt that this was her father's indifference to her.

So after graduating from university, she seldom went home. Sometimes her father and mother would come to visit her in the city, and Yue Xiangqiu would only think that it was because her father felt that she had made money and wanted to get some benefits from herself.

As a daughter should do, Yue Xiangqiu has never failed.

Give money regularly, see a doctor when he is sick, and when her father is lying in the hospital, she will occasionally visit and buy some fruit.

But it won't stay for too long, she feels that she is not used to seeing that man's face.

just don't know...

I don't know why, some memories are only now slowly appearing in front of Yue Xiangqiu's eyes.

Some memories she had forgotten.

On that night more than ten years ago, she stayed in the room that belonged to her family, and the door of the room was locked tightly.

Father might have thought she was asleep, but Yue Xiangqiu wasn't.

The soundproofing of the room was not good, so she could clearly hear her father complaining outside.

After her father talked all night, she lay in bed and listened all night, her tears soaking the pillow.

"A girl, what kind of university does she go to! What's the use of it!"

"I don't have any money at home, so I still have to go to school! Is it useful to go to school? It's better to go out and find a good job!"

"Old Li should be awake by now, I'm going to play mahjong with him."

"Tell me about such a child, doesn't she know what's going on at home, she insists on going to this university!"

"..."

Countless memories appeared before Yue Xiangqiu's eyes, and the suffocating sense of despair at the beginning began to surround Yue Xiangqiu again.

How did she go to college?

It was as if the father had finally paid for his own tuition.

Bai Zhu's singing voice was still in Yue Xiangqiu's ears, which made Yue Xiangqiu feel even more confused.

At that time, the family had no money, and my mother wanted to buy her a new dress for the New Year, but it seemed that it was not enough.

How did I get the 3000 yuan I spent in college? !
Yue Xiangqiu remembered his father sitting in the living room smoking cigarettes, one after another.

When my father came back that day, he smoked half a pack of cigarettes.

That was the first time Yue Xiangqiu saw his father smoking so fiercely that even his mother didn't stop him.

At that time, Yue Xiangqiu thought that it was his idea of ​​going to university that made his father become like this, but at this time, after careful consideration, Yue Xiangqiu felt that something was wrong.

Because after that day, my father paid all his tuition fees.

Like a bird leaving the cage, he leaped out without looking back.

How did the tuition come from?

Listening to Bai Zhu's song, Yue Xiangqiu felt as if he had touched something.

The colder feeling of suffocation, like sea water rushing towards his face, made Yue Xiangqiu almost out of breath.

She couldn't imagine it, if that was the case, she would owe her father her whole life!

Yue Xiangqiu looked at the bag next to him, and in that bag was a blue top, which his father had worn all his life.

Taking out the clothes, Yue Xiangqiu skillfully took out three booklets from the chest pocket of the clothes.

This is the notebook that my father has always kept. All his living expenses will be recorded by his father, and every single note will be recorded.

But he never showed it to others. His father said that it was his own and he was not allowed to flip through it.

Yue Xiangqiu always felt that it was just that her father was afraid that she would know how much money he had, and he didn't want to let her know.

Now that his father is gone, no one is stopping him, Yue Xiangqiu can watch casually.

My father has been in the habit of keeping accounts for a long time, and the notes in his pocket have changed from one to three. Opening the oldest one, the notes on it are longer than those recorded in Baizhu's singing. Yue Xiangqiu was not born yet.

The first note that Yue Xiangqiu saw was the wedding wine he bought for the purpose of going to the direct old father-in-law's house, that is, Yue Xiangqiu's grandfather.

It seems that after getting married, my father began to learn how to keep accounts.

Flipping quickly, one page after another, the densely packed handwriting is very messy, and some places have been blurred, making it difficult for people to see clearly what is written on it.

This is my father's life, what he paid for this family.

Yue Xiangqiu looked at every record in the notebook, which shocked her so much, Yue Xiangqiu suddenly felt that she had never understood her father.

The life in this notebook made her feel the exhaustion of her father at that time.

July, Meng Qiu.

Yue Xiangqiu finished flipping through one notebook, and came to the second notebook. At the end, Yue Xiangqiu saw this familiar time, which she would never forget.

This year she went to college, and that night, her father didn't want to.

If it wasn't for Yue Xiangqiu's crazy persistence, she might have missed the university forever.

Yue Xiangqiu was a little hesitant, she didn't dare to continue reading, she guessed something in her heart.

In the end, Yue Xiangqiu's gaze began to sweep down, and she saw such a record in the center of the notebook.

Lend old man Li a thousand.

Borrow brother Wang one thousand and five.

Borrow Xiao Zhao one thousand.

The three loan records totaled 3000 yuan, 500 yuan for tuition, and [-] yuan for accommodation.

Before leaving, her father gave her 50 yuan of pocket money. Her father said it was his last bit of money, but that money was only enough for half a month of food for Yue Xiangqiu. This was the most economical food for Yue Xiangqiu In the case of frugality, it was boiled out.

Later, Yue Xiangqiu started working part-time while going to school. She never asked her family for living expenses. Even when she was in her third year of junior high school, she could even pay the tuition fees by herself.

No one knew how sad she was crying that day, and how happy she was when she didn't have to listen to her father's complaints and handed over the tuition fees to the counselor herself.

But when Yue Xiangqiu saw the notebook in her hand, she suddenly felt how disgusting her happy appearance was, so disgusting that it made her feel sick.

She remembered that when she was a sophomore, her mother brought the tuition fees, and her father worked three jobs in order to earn more money. He sprained his waist at the construction site, reluctant to spend money to go to the hospital, and lay down and rested at home with a plaster on.

At that time, Yue Xiangqiu didn't pay much attention to it, but now when he came back to his senses, Yue Xiangqiu realized how much pressure he had brought to that poor family and his father who was not rich at all.

Father is a proud man, in Yue Xiangqiu's memory, he has never borrowed money from anyone in his life.

Even if Yue Xiangqiu felt that his father wanted to benefit from him, he kept silent because of his good face. Yue Xiangqiu still thought it was just right, and if her father did not speak, she would never have to pay anything passively.

He is so good-looking, he is so proud!

But he still opened his mouth to borrow money, and when he wanted to go to college, he opened his mouth to borrow money.

Because at that time, my family was really poor, so poor that I couldn't even afford a new dress.

Take out all the cash, but still not enough for a brand new dress, so that I can wear new clothes for the new year.

Unable to control her emotions anymore, Yue Xiangqiu felt a strange pain in her numb heart. She had never felt such pain before, and it made her unable to breathe.

She suddenly understood that she had always loved her father, and she had never changed.

She was just not reconciled, she was just resenting her father for not wanting to value her and admitting to herself.

So she has always been cold, she hoped that her father would regret it, she hoped to apologize to herself, and apologized for the fact that he thought it was useless to go to college.

From the moment her father died, Yue Xiangqiu was actually very sad. She didn't know what to do, she was empty, like a balloon with a broken string, floating in the sky, unable to fall. land.

It turned out that she thought she was indifferent, it turned out that she thought her father had never valued her, never loved her!
His father has never changed. What makes him complain is not himself, but life.

Tears collapsed like a bank burst, Yue Xiangqiu couldn't help crying, heart-piercing, extremely sad.

She is in pain, she is resentful, obviously for so many years, why, why has she never understood her father!
Even when her father died, she didn't say thank you to him.

In her heart there was only anger towards her father.

Flipping through all the accounting books quickly, my father's life is all on it, and they are all so real.

From the beginning to the end, my father never owed anyone, except for himself.

For himself, his father borrowed the first sum of money in his life, and his father had the first debt in his life.

This was the only time my father borrowed money in his life, and it was also the only time he lost money.

why!Why it came out like this!
Countless memories flooded in, I went to work, and my father came to see me with the vegetables grown at home.

He didn't have a key to the house, and he didn't know how to make a phone call, so he stood at the door of his room all day, never leaving just to see himself.

When my father went to work in the city, he took a look at me and gave me 500 yuan, saying that it was the living expenses of this month's workers' hair. He didn't need to spend much money on the construction site.

His father was old and he couldn't remember. He took his mother to see a doctor, bought fruit for himself, and said he missed himself, but he just sat in his house for a few minutes and left.

Obviously he has been so busy and hates waiting so much.

Obviously he doesn't have any money on him.

Obviously he has never really lived in his new house.

Everything, I can't help but recall it.

Yue Xiangqiu tightly hugged all the notebooks in her arms, all the grievances and unwillingness in her heart disappeared at this moment.

All the things she couldn't figure out in her life, she now figured it out.

But what?
It's too late, it's too late!

My father never owed me anything.

But she, she has always owed her father all her life, and she has never repaid it!

But it was too late.

she!
There is no more father!
There is no longer that man who complains in his mouth but silently helps him do everything!

"Ah!! Wow! Wow!!"

The sound of wailing was heard in the back seat, the driver glanced at Yue Xiangqiu through the mirror and did not speak, he had seen such things too many times.

Many people who come out of the hospital will experience such a thing.

"I don't have a father anymore!"

Crying loudly, with a shrill roar, countless memories tore Yue Xiangqiu's heart.

She was so angry, angry with that naive self, angry with that unfilial self.

Why now!
Why is it only now that I want to understand all this!
Don't you always think that you are a smart person?But why can't I never understand my father!

Why did she never see her father clearly.

Must be at this time, must be when I don't have a father!
"This is the text in my father's diary!"

"This is what his youth left behind"

"The remaining prose poem~"

Following Yue Xiangqiu's movements, the earphone cable she plugged into the phone fell off, and without the constraint of the earphone cable, Bai Zhu's singing voice in the phone was completely released, echoing throughout the car.

The driver who was waiting for the traffic light, heard the crying in the back seat, his eyes were a little red.

The other party's hysterical appearance reminded him of his father.

He didn't understand his father's thoughts before, but after he became a father himself, he realized how much that silent man had done for him.

The song sang slowly, Yue Xiangqiu was still sad.

What she owns now is only these items left by her father.

Clothes in twos and threes, and three dilapidated accounting books.

When tidying up, how fortunate was the scarcity of items, and how sad Yue Xiangqiu was at the moment.

Even the things that I can remember my father are so rare.

After she grew up, she never had any memories of her father.

There is no longer the peace of mind of lying on the bamboo and rattan chair and sleeping soundly with him on that summer night.

no more...

"Decades later, I watched the tears flow."

"But my father is old, like a shadow"

cry still
……

"In [-], the crops had already been harvested"

"My old mother passed away last year"

"Daughter with a ponytail, ran into the campus"

"But she has been lonely for a while recently, and she has lost a lot of weight"

……

When the car arrived, Yue Xiangqiu hugged her father's things tightly in her arms, the singing on the phone was still there, echoing in her mind.

Every line of the lyrics is like a knife piercing her heart, causing Yue Xiangqiu pain.

But she couldn't bear to turn off the music at all.

Only Bai Zhu's singing could make her feel her father's past.

In this way, at least she can feel that her father is still by her side.

She still has a chance to say sorry to her father.

You can still hug him, lie on the bamboo and rattan chair, and say, thank you.

Watching Yue Xiangqiu leave, the driver did not take the next order.

Silently searching the phone, I found the song just now.

Connect it to the Bluetooth of the car, and the singing of Baizhu will appear in the car's stereo soon.

He had heard Bai Zhu's song before, but he didn't expect that Bai Zhu would actually sing such a song.

"It's sad."

Wiping his eyes, the driver always felt that today's sunshine hurt his eyes and made him want to cry.

Lighting a cigarette silently, he sat in the car with the windows open, listening to the singing on the car stereo.

"Thinking about the future, I am old and become a pile of old paper money"

"At that time, my daughter will be beautiful and amazing"

"There is a man who loves her and wants to marry her back home"

"But thinking of this, I couldn't bear to look at her."

"This is the text in my father's diary"

"It's his life left"

"The Prose Poetry That Remains"

"Decades later, I can't stop crying"

"But my father is as old as an old newspaper"

"The story above is a lifetime"

……

……

(End of this chapter)