Get off work and become a magical girl

Chapter 201 Anxiety
Lin Xiaolu sat in front of her desk, staring at her hands in a daze.

Only the lamp in front of the table was on in the room, so it seemed quite dim, and the range of sight was very limited. However, Lin Xiaolu didn't care about this at this time.

Lost.

This was the only thought in her mind.

With the intention of teaching the other party a lesson and telling him not to underestimate others, he accepted a seemingly simple competition. Then, he lost without any doubt.

The most important thing is that even if he loses, the opponent's expression remains unwavering, as if winning against him is just a matter of course, so calm that it makes people angry.

But what if I get angry again? If you lose, you lose. The loser has no room for argument.

What happened before losing? To be honest, Lin Xiaolu hasn't even figured it out yet.

She only remembered that she accepted Baiji's invitation, transformed, and then imitated the other party's method, constructed a simple magic ball in her hand, and hit it with confidence.

If nothing else, she is more powerful than ordinary magical girls simply because of the quality and quantity of magic power.

The result was that the magic ball thrown out by Lin Xiaolu with full confidence naturally collapsed in less than two seconds after colliding with Bai Ji.

I want to cry and complain about my depression after losing, I want to talk about my anxiety all the time, I want to seek comfort, I want to seek encouragement, I want to get help.

Yes, she still remembered that she had been able to use that special white magic power, but that kind of magic power had only been used twice when she encountered extremely dangerous enemies.

Then, as long as the magical girl does not exceed herself too much in the blooming stage, this "refined" magic power is theoretically not weaker than anyone else.

Ever since Xia Liang succeeded in opening up China first and had his own magic costume, this kind of anxiety has never stopped.

The reason for her loss was not only the loss, nor the contemptuous attitude of the other party, but more importantly, the "anxiety" that she had been suppressing in various ways and trying her best to ignore broke out.

Bai Ji didn't say anything, but just shook the hand that condensed the magic ball. As if he thought it was enough, he canceled the transformation, turned around, zipped up his suitcase, and walked into his room.

This kind of feeling cannot be expressed to his father who was once quite strict but was still an ordinary person; nor can he express it to his teammates who are even younger than him.

This was Lin Xiaolu's most intuitive feeling during the collision of magic balls.

Before this, Lin Xiaolu had always maintained this understanding.

No matter how much I try to hypnotize and soothe my heart with words like "accumulation" and "special constitution", my anxiety is still growing uncontrollably.

However, Delphinium is not a "mother" after all.

If Xia Liang's behavior can be explained by "more talent", then why is Bai Jingxuan, who became a magical girl more than two months late, still ahead of her?

I have had a similar feeling before, that is, when I encounter a remnant beast and my magic power comes into contact with the remnant beast, I get the burning feeling when it is corroded. However, this burning sensation is actually not that strong, not even comparable to the pain caused by a frontal attack during combat, so it is often covered up.

——Will I just stay at the species level and not be able to catch up with others?

Not to mention standing by Delphinium's side, even Xia Liang and Bai Jingxuan will go further and further. At that point, is it really necessary for me, who has been stuck at the species level, to stay in this team?

But Bai Ji's impact at this time was far more than that. At that moment, Lin Xiaolu even felt that her magic power had become a weak point being attacked. It is as if the feeling of "paralysis" is intensified, allowing the magic power to bring the senses back to the magic source, and then from the magic source to the true form, directly passed to the person.

She has always wanted to find the reason why Delphinium showed concern for her, and even came up with such an outrageous conclusion that "the other party and his father are in love" just thinking about it made her cover her face and scream, just because she wanted to confirm, How strong can the relationship between myself and Delphinium be?

It was as if the fingers touched an electrified object. The tingling sensation and stiffness that followed, the illusory "touch" magically fed back to itself, leading to a series of loss of control.

Lin Xiaolu realized something, something she had been deliberately ignoring, but was probably close to what was happening in front of her.

At the moment when the magic ball collided with Baiji, Lin Xiaolu remembered these words again.

There is no need to say more about what happened after that.

As both an admired senior and a reliable elder, the gentleness under her indifference has already changed Lin Xiaolu. For her who lost her biological mother, Delphinium is undoubtedly the closest person to the role of "mother" in her current life. people.

Electric shock.

Being stuck at the species level and not being able to break through is certainly a bad thing, but it is a blessing and a curse that her magic power has not stopped growing. Not only that, it seems to have formed a high-pressure effect, causing her magic power to gain a similar level. "Refining" effect. Specifically, with the same amount of magic power, the damage she causes will be more powerful.

It is impossible for ordinary seniors and juniors to have too strong dependence.

I don't know when, when she was sad and unable to express her feelings, the first choice in her mind had become Delphinium.

She was obviously the first to become a magical girl, and she was also the first to start learning. She was always the first to do everything, so why did Xia Liang take the lead in developing her abilities?
This anxiety reached its peak after Bai Jingxuan awakened the magic suit.

How is it used? Can it be used so smoothly next time? Why can't it be used normally?
Even if the quality and quantity of magic power far exceed the species level, even exceeding the ordinary bud level, but without awakening one's own magic equipment, the species level is still just a "seed".

In the previous lessons given by Delphinium, Delphinium once taught Lin Xiaolu a conclusion, that is - magic power is equivalent to an extension of the magical girl's limbs.

Until after competing with White Thistle.

I really want to be like that when I was confused, let Delphinium hold my hand and tell myself "it doesn't matter".

She wanted to find the delphinium.

Lin Xiaolu returned to her room in despair, and she still didn't recover until dinner time, and then until now.

And this growing anxiety will one day break out, and the battle with Bai Ji will become the final spark.

This sentence is actually not difficult to understand. Just like for humans, tools are extensions of the body, magic power is a particularly useful tool for magical girls. The principle is the same.

The only one left was Lin Xiaolu, who stood still and stretched out a hand blankly, not even understanding what was going on.

It is impossible for an ordinary teacher and disciple to take over everything.

When I think of this, my heart seems to be grabbed, and I feel suffocated.

Because she suddenly realized that Delphinium's words might not only emphasize the attribute of magic as a "tool".

What does that feel like? It was obviously just a collision of magic balls, but at the moment of impact, Lin Xiaolu felt a "sour and numb" feeling from it.

There can only be a stronger, more intimate, and more unbreakable relationship... If not, this kind of wishful dependence will undoubtedly cause trouble for others.

That's why Lin Xiaolu resisted opening the door and venting all her feelings.

Because she didn't know what the bottom line was for Delphinium to tolerate herself.

Like myself now, if I overestimate my own strength, accept provocations from others without authorization and fail miserably, show off to others at the dinner table, and if I end up going to the Delphinium to cry and want her to comfort myself... then that's okay. It's too unseemly. Even if she were to imagine it herself, if there was such a troublesome junior, she would probably think that he was an annoyance, right?

She didn't want to and didn't dare to try to further disappoint Delphinium. Recently, Delphinium seemed to be quite partial to Bai Jingxuan. If she was completely disappointed with herself and gave up on herself, then she might as well just retire as a magical girl.

Confused thoughts formed a turbulent flow in her mind, and she sat at the desk like this for who knows how long, so much so that she even lost track of time.

A long time later, when the waning moon outside the window climbed into the sky, another knocking sound came from the door behind him.

dong dong dong.

A crisp sound broke the silence, bringing Lin Xiaolu back to reality from her thoughts.

Is the delphinium here again?

This was her first thought, but she quickly shook her head slightly, ashamed of such a weak thought. She took a deep breath to adjust her voice, and pretended that nothing happened and said:

"Who?"

She probably had some guesses in her mind about the person who would come at this time. Delphinium was unlikely, so it was either Xia Liang or Bai Jingxuan. Could it be that Moke was the one who was short-minded? Thinking about it, it couldn't possibly be those people from Bai'an City... He was so shameless, and the other party would definitely not be so kind to come to him.

However, the sound coming from outside the door was beyond her expectation after all.

"it's me."

It was a voice that seemed strange to Lin Xiaolu at first, but she soon realized its identity.

You can hear the maturity of the owner of the voice, but there is still a sense of lightness that is almost girlish, and there is also an extremely pleasant voice.

"I heard that one of my team members caused trouble for you. I'm sorry. Do you want to come out and have a chat?"

——That was the voice of the senior magical girl who appeared in front of him just today and seemed to be Delphinium's old partner: Margaret.

……

……

There is a large public balcony on the fourth floor of the secret base.

Although it is called a balcony, its size should be designed to accommodate a small garden. However, no one in the magical girl team in Fangting City has a hobby of gardening, so it is left vacant as an ordinary balcony.

Lin Xiaolu rarely comes here.

Rather, if it weren't for the invitation from this woman named Margaret, I'm afraid she wouldn't have come here even once in a few months.

Not only because her room is not on this floor, but her daily activity area rarely involves the fourth floor, but also because it is really too spacious. Even if she wants to find a place to sit down and bask in the sun, it is difficult to qualify here. A great place to visit.

Not to mention that it is winter now, so this balcony is extremely cold, and no one will run here for nothing.

Of course, if you want to have a relatively private conversation, such conditions will become a natural soundproof wall, effectively preventing the partition wall from having ears.

Presumably, this is why Margaret chose to talk here.

"...so cold."

Touching the railing on the outer edge of the balcony, Lin Xiaolu subconsciously took a breath of cold air, and then quickly withdrew her hand.

She looked around, but there was really nothing on the balcony, nothing that could be called a point of attention, so she could only retract her gaze and look at the woman not far away: "So, what's the matter with calling me out?"

The words were not friendly or respectful at all, but using the word "please" was already a sign of restraint for Lin Xiaolu.

"It's nothing, I'm just a little curious about you."

Aso Maruka smiled and pressed down with one hand, signaling Lin Xiaolu to relax: "Don't be so nervous. I'm not here with hostility. It's better to say that I stand with you."

Lin Xiaolu said nothing, but the meaning in her eyes was very obvious, "What nonsense are you talking about?"

"It's hard to believe?" Maruka Aso asked.

"...That guy is your student, right?"

Lin Xiaolu said with a complicated expression: "She won the fight with me, and you told me that you were on my side?"

"Well, there is no doubt that Bai Ji's kid is indeed my student. To be precise, he should be the student I am most satisfied with."

Turning slightly sideways, Aso Maruka looked towards the night sky: "But, because of this, it is impossible for me to stand on her side in this matter today."

"Why?" Lin Xiaolu was puzzled.

"Because she did something wrong in this matter."

Aso Maruka sighed: "Under the premise that it is already clear that the other party is a partner, the magical girl should not have meaningless internal fighting, let alone her provocation first. If we switch to some teams with stricter disciplines, like this The behavior already constitutes the minimum punishment.”

"No... I don't think our level of fighting or 'internal fighting'..." Lin Xiaolu hesitated.

"That's the fight."

Aso Maruka affirmed: "No matter what the degree or scale, when magic is used in the struggle between each other, everyone must be treated equally."

After she said this, looking at Lin Xiaolu's slightly confused expression, her voice softened slightly: "Is it difficult to accept?"

"I don't understand..." Lin Xiaolu shook her head.

"Because there are quite a few magical girls in this world. When she takes action, it is difficult to use the 'amount' of magic power to define the impact she can have."

Aso Maranka explained: "Although you only used a small amount of magic power in the competition, for some magical girls, such a small amount of magic power is enough to kill their colleagues. Then, at that time, if Can she be forgiven if she pleads, 'I only used a little bit of magic'?"

"……cannot?"

"Of course not."

Aso Maruka smiled again: "So, for magical girls, the 'quality' and 'quantity' of magic power are very important, but not that critical. Because in battle, what is more important than the magic power itself is 'How the magic is used'."

(End of this chapter)