I am a writer in Tokyo

Chapter 40 No one will be let go

"It's a depressing time."

This was the first sentence Bei Dao Kou said after entering the door.

The lady in charge of the reception didn't think it was very strange, the author who came here would basically say this sentence.

It's like if you don't scold this era, it's hard to be a gregarious author.

Oshima Kazuya looked at Kitajima with a strange expression on his face.

A week has passed since I told him that I had a new idea.

When eating in the tavern last night, Bei Daoju told him that he would come to the company tomorrow and had a manuscript to show him.

Is it possible to finish writing?

There is no reason to write so fast.

However, Bei Dao Kou didn't stop, holding the file bag, he continued to say: "In this era, moral order and collectivism spread and entangle, unclear and irrational.

It seems that at this time, everyone is used to wearing a mask, and as time goes by, this mask becomes a part of life.

A man would be branded as eccentric if he did not pursue the same.

But if someone is said to be outstanding in this way, he will be judged as an outlier.

No matter what, he will be rejected by the world. Such a person is lonely and pitiful.

If you have to join, and you can't do too much, you are doomed to spend your whole life muddling along with the public.

The price of sobriety is loneliness.

Such a loneliness does not need too many words to describe.

Even when there is a fault in the times, it is still very clear.

But I think, maybe Oba Yozo will give an answer. "

"Who?"

"Daba Yezo."

Kitajima Koma put the document bag in his hand on the table, and pushed towards Oshima Kazuya.

"The answer is, if you tear it off, maybe even the flesh, muscles, bones, and blood will splatter.

But if it means that you can become a human being with a mask, then it's better not to.

Because the world is dissatisfied with his existence, he feels lonely.

Because I am dissatisfied with the existence of this world.

and so……

Being human, he felt sorry. "

When he heard the title of the book before, Oshima Kazu felt something was wrong.

It was a cold breath emanating from the depths of the soul, rushing directly towards Tianling Gai.

After hearing Kitajima Koma's words this time, Oshima Kazuya unconsciously took a few steps back.

He seemed to feel that what came this time... was much more terrifying.

Oshima Kazuya was also silent for a while, he was a little afraid to pick up the document bag that Kitajima Koma handed over, as if there were some horrible things in it.

Adam's apple wriggles up and down.

Seeing the light blocked by Bei Daoju's hair, his whole face was so gloomy that he didn't dare to pick it up.

"How do I feel, this Daba Yezang sounds a bit like..."

"It's a little enlightening." Bei Daoju took up the conversation.

Oshima Kazuya has been talking to Kitajima Koma before, sometimes don't be so twisted, you can communicate more.

But at this time, he really regretted it a bit.

This guy is better when he talks less.

"Is everything written?" Oshima Kazuya asked weakly.

"Not yet, here is a part, and there are outlines and outlines."

"Oh, alright."

Oshima Kazu also took it, and after reading a few, he stuffed the papers back.

how to say.

It's that kind of...

The sense of decadence from the depths of the soul was directly overwhelmed, and there was no chance to breathe at all.

And it's just the beginning.

This is just the beginning!

One can imagine what happened next.

In fact, it should have been thought of, after Bei Daoju said those bloody splashes.

Aren't these words describing the experience of a person who is still ostentatiously walking around the market after being brutally stripped of his face?

Some people are afraid of death, but some people accept death.

But who can accept a person who takes off all his disguise in front of everyone?

Because they know.

What they had worked so hard to hide was revealed by that man.

They are not afraid of that person, they are just afraid of themselves under the mask...

This pocket... the pocket is a bit too scary...

Oshima Kazuya's lips were a little dry.

The air conditioner in the room was turned on very high, but he still felt a little cold.

Obviously this person... He raised his head and looked at Bei Daoju who was sitting across from him drinking tea silently. He could clearly write about such a beautiful scenery, but why would he write about such a bloody reality?

Everyone wants to look in the mirror, because they all like the beautiful self in the mirror.

If the mirror is the real self, then probably no one will look in the mirror again.

He...he wrote the real black of the beating red heart.

"Why... this is a bit..."

When he wrote Snow Country before, he substituted his whole body into it.

Now this Daba Yezang has also been substituted into it.

He can predict one thing.

If the book were to be published, it would cause a moment of panic.

The name Oba Yezang will become a life-threatening ghost, appearing in the dreams and mirrors of all those who are intoxicated with luxury and money.

"I've been thinking about a question."

Kitajima Kou's sudden words startled Oshima Kazuya.

His hands trembling as he poured the tea.

After forcing himself to calm down, he asked, "What's the problem?"

"It's what if, I said what if."

"Survival is nothing but a losing battle.

Then again why everyone can still live happily and with high morale.

If you are perplexed by such an atmosphere of inexplicable joy from birth, what kind of expression should you use to face life.

All people are like ants. This group of ants who are tortured by life are doing one thing.

That is to strive for the qualification to become a human being with all your strength. "

The reception lady just came into the room to change the tea that had been brewing for a long time, and she felt very strange looking at Kazuya Oshima with a frightened expression.

Then Kitajima ignored it and continued talking.

"So, this group of ants will yearn for one thing, home.

So they dream of looking for a so-called home.

After all, the word home is too beautiful.

So beautiful that you can temporarily isolate yourself from the world. "

The receptionist's hands trembled.

The atmosphere here seems to be a little... different.

"But where can they go back?" Kitajima Koma asked.

Before they could think about it, he continued:
"Go back to an atmosphere of illicitness, or go back to a space of nothingness to perpetuate.

I always think that if I can face up to all my humbleness and weaknesses, I can be accepted, encouraged, and kissed tenderly by the world in a way of being reborn from the mother's body.

However, they find that the world raises its proud head and despises them for their humbleness with a noble attitude unique to the group. "

Oshima Kazu also glanced sympathetically at the reception lady who looked like Parkinson's, sorry, he can't save her now.

Because of Bei Daoju, he seemed to be crazy about killing.

If I knew it earlier, I wouldn't persuade him to talk more.

Now it's like a machine gun, beeping, beeping, and it can't stop at all.

And what he said was still very explicit.

It's like forcibly stripping people's clothes and letting them run naked.

He also took a mirror and stuffed it in front of his face, so that he could look in the mirror and see his naked body.

To be honest, poor Mr. Oshima regretted it.

Kitajima Koma tapped lightly on the table with his fingers.

He is still outputting.

"Timidity, loneliness, boredom and fear.

These seemingly not very positive emotions emerged.

But the world is good.

So relying on the world to bear these emotions is simply impossible.

No, or the world is too humble and ugly to face your abscesses.

Like a hero, the scene of bravely picking up the spear and shield and charging towards negative emotions is not suitable for all losers.

Some people can bow their knees and admit defeat, but life is used to people's submission.

It needs the stimulation of the bullring, and it needs to entertain yourself with a person's struggle with all kinds of holes.

So they backed down.

Talking and shouting some words that look real.

What did you say?

They will say: laugh at my grief.

Yes, they backed down.

Again.

But in the end, who is playing the clown role to laugh at?

And who was amused by this seemingly deliberate and sad comedy?

Hehe, none of them. "

Kitajima sneered.

At this time, he also seemed to have removed all disguises.

With a mocking look, he said in nonchalant words: "They were just stabbed to death by the sharp knives of life in the end.

So, in the silence of death, did they go home?
Maybe not. "

Suddenly, Kitajima Koma stood up, looked at Oshima Kazuya and then at the receptionist.

At this time, he looked like a mental patient.

His tone suddenly dropped very low.

But it returned to the previous calm.

Pointing at two people, and finally pointing at himself, he said indifferently:

"You, including me, have to be careful.

Because in this world, sooner or later, anyone may be bitten by a neurotic sense of nothingness, even if they are careful, they will be caught by the ugly world, and then they will be put to death in fear.

Anyone can say a few words about the world.

But what's the use of this?
In life, which is what we often call the world, no one will be let go, no one will be forgiven.

Just like Mr. Okawa. "

(End of this chapter)