Affectionate trapping

Chapter 21 Vase
"I heard from his father that he didn't want to go abroad. I wanted to ask him, but his father stopped him and said that Jiayou seemed to be in a good mood these days. After thinking about it, I decided to talk to you. He went abroad We decided this matter a long time ago, and all the efforts we have made all the time are for him to be successful and live a good life, so I still hope that you can help persuade him."

Min Jiayou's mother is a typical professional woman, she looks very capable, and her tone of voice has the attitude of a superior person dictated by habit.

She was able to tell herself these things in this way, instead of talking to Min Jiayou impulsively, which proves that she is still rational and not arbitrary.

Wen Xi nodded: "Jiayou's mother, it's like this. After talking with Jiayou, I found that he has an inferiority complex. He always thinks that he is not good enough, that he is not good enough in studies, that's why he panicked about going abroad. He It's not simply that he doesn't want to go, but he is afraid of the unknown and not confident in his own ability. He is afraid that he will leave you after going abroad, and he can't speak the language. That said, it’s really hard not to worry.”

The other party thought: "I am also worried, but he is a boy, and I have fought with his father for most of our lives, and he is just such a child."

"I understand your wish for your son to become a dragon." Wen Xi paused slightly: "Are you determined to let him go abroad?"

"There's really no room for change in this matter."

Her attitude and expression are very firm, and Wen Xi has no confidence that she can change the thinking of an adult, "Actually, Jiayou does not reject making himself excellent, but it is just because he is too aggressive that it backfires. He always thinks I am not good enough, and I will develop an inferiority complex over time, which is not good for his growth or future development."

Adler said that people have the psychology of "pursuing superiority", they "hope to progress" and "pursue an ideal state", and if they fail to achieve it, they will have a sense of inferiority.

Wen Xi continued: "You must have discovered what happened during this period of time. You can't ignore anything on your child's growth path. You don't want him to go out in the future. You always feel that you are inferior, right?"

Min Jiayou's mother thought seriously, "Then what should I do?"

"Praise him more, don't always say that he is not good at this or that is bad, but always give him affirmation."

"In addition, respect him, his thoughts and everything. The more a person gains respect in front of people who are more mature or higher than himself, the easier it is to eliminate his sense of inferiority."

"In normal times, you can talk to him more, pay attention to his inner voice, and when you encounter conflicting problems, don't always think about dominating him, but listen to what he thinks."

Wen Xi's voice is very comfortable, gentle and always calming: "Actually, the best way for parents and children to get along is to get along like friends and talk about everything. Parents are the ones who lead their children to grow up. They are also mentors on the road of life, they need to be affirmed and cared by their parents, and they also need to be respected."

Min Jiayou's mother never thought about these issues deeply, but she felt that what she said made sense, and nodded: "I will think about it when I go back."

Fortunately, she is not the kind of mother who refuses to listen to persuasion. Wen Xi smiled: "Jiayou is a very good and outstanding child. I can see the spirituality in him. There is also the problem of friends. Friends are very important to him at this age. He needs the sympathy of his peers, and I believe you can see that the main reason for his happiness is that he has made friends, and when he is in a good mood, he can have a good attitude to study, which will also help his grades."

"Thank you for telling me this." She frowned. "I chose to tell you this because he seems to be in a much better mood this time."

"In fact, I just act as a guide to help him find a solution to the problem. If you are willing to listen to his voice, I believe you can do it too. Then you don't have to come to me to spend this money."

The other party laughed suddenly: "You are quite humorous, so I will have a good talk with him when I go back."

"That's good."

Wen Xi went back to the consultation room, Min Jiayou looked at her nervously: "What did my mother tell you?"

"you guess."

"Does it mean that I don't want to go abroad?"

Wen Xi raised her eyebrows: "You're so smart, you can guess right."

But he couldn't be happy, and drooped his face: "I knew it, my dad must have informed me, and I told him not to tell my mother."

The purpose of Wen Xi asking him to talk to his father is to let his father take the initiative to talk to his mother. After all, adults communicate better. Although they can't make the decision, it is enough to convey the meaning.

Moreover, this kind of family problem is not just caused by the child. The moment his mother came to her, Wen Xi felt that this matter could be solved easily.

She tapped the water glass in front of him and let him drink water: "Don't worry, I've already told your mother, she won't talk about you, if you really want to quarrel with you, I went when I first found out, not now Tell me, so, your mother is not as strong as you think, she still cares about you."

"Parents can't help themselves to make decisions sometimes, although it's not nice to say 'for your own good'."

Many parents use the rhetoric "It's all for your own good" to impose what they think is good on their children, but ignore their children's wishes.

She looked into Min Jiayou's eyes: "But sometimes, you should also be considerate of your parents, they also want you to be well, right?"

He pursed his lips and nodded.

Before leaving, he turned his head and asked, "Sister, can I add your WeChat?"

"that's not allowed."

He couldn't help being disappointed, and without asking why, he lowered his head: "Okay."

Wen Xi laughed, the psychiatrist and the consultant should not communicate in private life, otherwise it would be very troublesome.

One is worrying about what will happen in the future, being treated as an emotional trash can by the other party, trying to seek comfort from her, and the other is also afraid that the counselor will have varying degrees of dependence.

She fiddled with the flowers on the table, leaned closer, and could still smell a faint fragrance.

Only Margaret was left in her room, and the bottle of tiger thorn plum was taken away by Wen Jie. She touched the vase, carefully observed the pattern and luster, and the more she looked at it, the more unusual it became.

I took a photo on a whim, searched on Taobao, and the prices vary. The first one is more than 200, the second is more than 3000, and there are other prices below.

Wen Xi looked at the pictures carefully, and couldn't see anything famous, so he raised his eyebrows: "It can't be this three or four thousand..."

But two or three hundred is also very expensive. Which flower shop will bring such an expensive vase to send flowers to events?

She was thinking, and clicked on the WeChat of "Flower Shop Owner": Hello, I want to ask, is the vase of the flowers you sent last time very expensive?
　The more people are respected in front of people who are more mature or higher than themselves, the easier it is to eliminate personal inferiority complex. ——Excerpt from "The Feeling of Ascension: I Do Psychological Counseling at Harvard"

　　
　
(End of this chapter)