Merry Eunuch Lang

The little eunuch took advantage of the opportunity of the Eight Great Kings to attack Qilin Pass, led 3 troops, and took Phoenix City in one fell swoop.Phoenix City is a big city, for the sake of safety, the kings also moved their families here before going out for the expedition.Phoenix City is the lair of King Fu, the head of the Eight Kings. After more than ten years of renovation and renovation, a lot of manpower and material resources were invested, and now it has a completely new look.In King Fu's palace, plus the wives and concubines of the kings, there are countless beauties, and naturally there are also many unhealthy men.The little eunuch ordered: Don't let any princesses, princes, princesses, etc. go, and send them all to the capital to wait for their release.The rest don't ask any questions, those who are willing to go go home, those who don't are mainly the eunuchs, all of them also go to the capital to enrich the emperor's harem.The little eunuch knew that there was still an unknown number of eunuchs missing, let alone these few, dozens of them could be accommodated.With these real eunuchs as substitutes, there is no need to harm other people's children.The little eunuch, Hu San, Liu Jianxun and others were discussing matters in the main hall of the palace, when a soldier came to report:

"There is a eunuch in the prince's harem who will neither leave nor stay. He insists on meeting with the imperial envoy. The younger ones dare not make decisions, so they come here to ask for instructions."

The little eunuch said, "Order him to come in."

As soon as the man entered the hall, Natou bowed and sighed:

"I almost didn't see my brother."

The little eunuch hurriedly left his seat, put his hands together, and comforted him:

"Brother has suffered."

"It's not hard at all, the main thing is that I was frightened, and my brother knows how brave I am." Wang Xiaowu replied.

"It's not that my brother is pretending to be me, maybe the anti-kings haven't seen any movement yet!"

"Brother also knows about this?" Wang Xiaowu asked with a smile.

"Guess all the best. The soldiers and horses of the palace surrounded the restaurant that day, and they kept claiming to take the eunuch. I think the owner of the dog shop may have recognized you. I also think that if you insist that it is me, this scene will be over again." Look at it. According to the movement of the Eight Kings hastily dispatched troops, as expected, I guess they must recognize you as me, thinking that they have no opponents."

"Brother is really good at predicting things!" Wang Xiaowu said with admiration.

Suddenly Huang Ren and Zhang Facun entered the hall on business, followed by a man with his hands tied behind his back. This man was crying, and the little eunuch recognized at a glance that it was the owner of the dog shop, Sun Ziwang.

"Kneel down! Raise your dog eyes to see who this is? This is our imperial envoy Mr. Pan, and I will let you know the true face of Mount Tai." Huang and Zhang shouted, their culture is just this, Zhang Facun walked over and kicked kicked.

Sun Tzuwang kowtowed like a chicken licking rice, muttering in his mouth: "My lord, please forgive me, I will never dare again, and let your brothers kill my villain's wife!"

The little eunuch got down from his seat, approached Sun Ziwang, smiled and said: "I said shopkeeper Sun, you said that you have earned such a large family business, you don't have to worry about food and clothing, and you don't lack money for prostitutes, right?" , What do you want? Sell us, what do you want to do?"

"My lord, spare my life, my lord, spare my life!" The grandson begged for mercy.

"It's impossible to spare your life. Tell me how you want to die, right? This will satisfy you." The little eunuch said with his hands behind his back, pacing squarely in the hall.

"I'm suing the eunuch," Sun Ziwang raised his head and pointed at Wang Xiaowu, and said plainly, "Isn't he also dead?"

"He is not dead. Whether he dies or not has nothing to do with you." The little eunuch lowered his head and pondered for a while. He hated people using eunuchs to talk about things the most in his life, and he came up with a bad idea after a little thought, so he added, "Your vision is not Wrong, my brother is an eunuch. How about I let you be an eunuch for a while, and you won’t sue the eunuch again in the future.”

"My lord, lord Qingtian, I don't want to be a eunuch, and I won't be a eunuch even if I die!" Sun Ziwang kowtowed on the ground.

"Didn't your wife die, and she just went to become a eunuch, and it's useless to leave something behind." The little eunuch still had the same tone, with a smile on his face, not at all serious.

"Master, I can't be a eunuch, I'm only 40 years old." Sun Ziwang begged.

"How can there be any age limit for being a eunuch? We are adults," the little eunuch pointed to Wang Xiaowu, and said, "When I was ten years old, I was made a eunuch."

"No, no, no, if I become a eunuch, my life will be over, and I don't have a son yet!" The only thing Sun Ziwang could do was continue to kowtow and beg for mercy.

"It's up to you whether you want it or not! What would you do without a son?" the little eunuch scolded.

After the little eunuch finished speaking, he waved his hand, and several warriors came over immediately, and dragged Sun Ziwang out like a pig.

Most people don't know how to cleanse themselves, and those who gel the horse and the donkey can't do it. They have to seek out experts in specialized fields.Sun Ziwang became a eunuch and has no sons. It seems impossible for grandson to be prosperous.This was Pan Youan's whim, and he made a joke.He played tricks on Sun Tzuwang, and castrated a 40-year-old man. He thought it was a happy event, but unexpectedly, it led to a disaster.

After everything was properly distributed, the little eunuch ordered Liu Jianxun to rectify the army and prepare for the counterattack of the Eight Kings.After waiting for a few days without any movement, spies came to report that King Fan's troops were not only coming to Phoenix City, but were heading east and south, and they were about to capture Yangcheng in a few days. Stand up for yourself as an emperor!

"It's wonderful!" The little eunuch clapped his hands and shouted, "This stroke must be Lao Hua's masterpiece again. If the Eight Kings really want to turn around and rush to attack Phoenix City, how can our little army resist the enemy? There are not many soldiers, but at least we can fight the enemy." There must be a decent number. If you use 3 people to fight against hundreds of thousands of people, I am afraid Zhuge Wuhou would not dare to make such a risky move when he was still alive. Could it be possible to sing the empty city plan again?"

Everyone was puzzled, so they asked the little eunuch, "My lord, how did you know that Hua Shixiong was reused as soon as he left?"

The little eunuch smiled and said: "This can't be regarded as my brilliance, it's just a matter of chance. But I think that the Eighth King will be eager for talents when he first commits a big event. Tongue, steamed buns mixed with test papers can also pass, I didn’t expect that it really made me guess.”

Everyone said: "The general is as good as a god, and he is very accessible. I will admire it."

The little eunuch hurriedly said: "We are all brothers, so you don't have to be so polite. Besides Lao Liu, I am a few days older than you, so I can be considered your elder brother!"

Liu Jianxun bowed and said: "I also want to recognize the general as my elder brother. My lord's mind, ambition, character, etc. have really made my younger brother admire him for a long time."

The little eunuch was not polite, and said happily: "That's it, you can be our fourth child! Brothers will join in the future, regardless of age, just in order, and they will be arranged in order."

Liu Jianxun was overjoyed. He first paid homage to his eldest brother and the young eunuch, then his second brother Hu San, third brother Wang Xiaowu and so on.

The little eunuch ordered to go down and said: "Prepare a delicious meal to celebrate General Liu joining our brothers."

The brothers were drinking when they suddenly heard someone shouting outside the door: "Pan You'an accepts the order!"

The little eunuch was taken aback, not knowing what happened in the palace, he hurried out to have a look, and saw that it was the eunuch Zhang Dandan who issued the decree, so he smiled and said:

"It turned out to be Eunuch Zhang. It's not too late to sit down and eat, drink some water and then announce the decree."

Zhang Dandan hurriedly waved his hand and said, "No, no, we can't be private first and then public. Mr. Pan, please kneel down to accept the order. After you accept the order, I will kowtow to you."

The little eunuch wanted not to kneel, but in front of these people, he couldn't make it big, so he half-knelt down with one leg.Hu San and the others crawled on the ground as usual, waiting for the holy order.

Zhang Dandan declared: "Following heaven's fortune, the emperor's edict said: There are eight kings who rebelled, bullied the sky and destroyed the world, and acted disobediently. They are really heinous crimes. They must be eradicated to calm the hearts of the people, leave no future troubles, and restore our great unity in China." It is advisable. Therefore, Pan You'an, the imperial envoy, is appointed to concurrently serve as the commander-in-chief of the suppression of the rebellion. He will be mounted as a general and dismounted as a minister. From now on, we will send troops to wipe out the rebels. This is your honor."

"It's over?" the little eunuch stood up and clapped his hands.

"So what if it's not finished? Could it be that our family dared to embezzle and miss a few words?" Zhang Dandan smiled, and then handed the imperial decree to the little eunuch with both hands, and said, "If you don't believe me, look for yourself, I haven't read a single word." Less."

The little eunuch threw the imperial decree on the table, and teased: "Without a single soldier, and without a single penny, how can we fight this battle? It's fine if the emperor doesn't issue the imperial decree, but if he shows his talent, he will make people angry. Isn't this obviously bullying?"

Zhang Dandan said with a smile: "Brother's words are bad, not sending a single soldier, not giving a penny, this shows that our sage is wise, knows people well, and knows that my brother can defeat the enemy with applause."

Liu Jianxun interjected: "Brother, when the anti-king is attacking distant lands, we can go to various state capitals to raise troops, but it's hard to talk about money and food."

The little eunuch said, "How much money is there?"

Hu San replied: "At least there is still a gap of 10 taels."

"Borrow!" the little eunuch patted his forehead and said.

"Who can I borrow it from? We are new here, and we are not familiar with the place where we live. Do you know who has money?" Hu San asked.

"Just look for that old man Hu, I think his family is rich." The little eunuch said confidently.

"It's high!" Hu San clapped his hands and said, "Brother still has the upper hand, but you can call yourself a trap."

"What do you mean throw yourself into a trap?" The little eunuch was puzzled.

"If you promise someone something, don't say 20, [-] is also available. If you don't agree, I'm afraid you won't get one or two." Hu San said with a secretive smile.

The little eunuch suddenly realized, and scolded: "Second brother, you bastard, you also come to play tricks on me? Okay, for the sake of the king, I will marry my wife again."

Everyone was kept in the dark, they didn't know what kind of trick they were up to, Liu Jianxun was even more puzzled by Zhang Er's monk ----- the elder brother is a eunuch, can an eunuch marry a wife?

Zhang Dandan looked at the table full of delicacies, and deliberately teased, "What day is it today, making it so ostentatious? It's almost comparable to the imperial banquet in the palace."

Wang Xiaowu finally had a chance to speak, and introduced: "Eunuch Zhang doesn't know something, today we have adopted a new brother, General Liu, everyone sworn to congratulate!"

"Marshal Pan, can you count me in?" Zhang Dandan begged.

"You are the fifth child here." The little eunuch said.

"Okay, the fifth is the fifth, as long as the eldest brother agrees to recognize me as a brother!" Zhang Dandan insisted.

These are the famous five sworn brothers in Phoenix City in history, three of whom are eunuchs (one is a fake), and I won’t mention them here.