Merry Eunuch Lang

The queen's father, the prime minister Wang Shugui, can be said to be the elder of the three dynasties.The former emperor died suddenly, and died young. Before he was alive, the crown prince let go and ran west on a dragon chariot before he could be registered.Wang Shugui and his senior ministers, with great fear and sincerity, racked their brains, picked up the flagpole from the chopsticks, pulled out the general from the dwarf, Zhu Bajie urinated, and finally poured it on the head of the idiot.

I am not afraid that the emperor is dull, but I am afraid that the emperor is wise.Why did Zhao Gao make Hu Hai, who could not even tell the difference between a red and a deer, the emperor?Why didn't Cao Mengde choose a bigger doll to hold him?Also, the question of Zhuge Liang embracing Liu Chan is too complicated, so I won't say it clearly in one or two sentences.In short, passers-by don't know Wang Shugui's heart, only he himself understands it.As things progressed, Prime Minister Wang gradually discovered that he was the prime minister in the court and his daughter was the queen in the harem, so he was naturally an extremely human minister like a dragon.However, there are also unsatisfactory things for this sake. Not to mention that the daughter married a fool who can't even have sex, and there is also a domineering empress dowager in the harem.Not all the ministers in the court are obedient to him, and the queen mother's father and two elder brothers also hold important positions, so he feels uneasy all the time.Wang Shugui thought hard, if Tong's family is not eliminated, he will not be able to sit back and relax for a day, he wants to rule the world by himself.

He finally came up with a brilliant plan to find someone to pull out the poisonous assassin and use the dog to chase the chicken: fornicating foreign countries, making connections inside and outside, and getting rid of his heart disease in one fell swoop.Wang Chengxiang thought: If Fanbing invaded the country, it must be Tong's father and son who sent troops.At that time, when the court was empty, he and a few of his confidant disciples took the opportunity to find fault with Tong Biyu and drive Tong Biyu from the throne of the Queen Mother, and then let the stupid emperor issue an imperial decree to deprive the Tong family of military power. Zhao Gou killed Yue Fei, wouldn't it? Kill two birds with one stone?

However, when the imperial court was discussing the conscription, Tong Zhenshan played a big trick and suggested that the emperor send a young eunuch as his substitute.Isn't this hitting a stone with an egg, driving sheep and tigers away?Naturally, the stupid little emperor would not see through the tricks of the old thief. Instead, he helped the tyrant to abuse him, and helped the dog to eat, fulfilling the old thief's wish.

Of course, the wish of Prime Minister Wang Shugui was fulfilled.The little eunuch brought a lot of soldiers and horses, and followed the second general of the Tong family who was like a wolf and a tiger. The court was empty, which was just suitable for Wang Chengxiang to play tricks on.In the early morning of the next day, Wang Shugui came out of the class and said:

"Long live my emperor, I think that there is an old general Tong Zhenshan, Minister of the Ministry of War, who is old and his health is deteriorating. It is better to disarm and return to the fields. Their hometown in the south of the Yangtze River has beautiful mountains and rivers. The duck is fat and the fish is fresh. The air is also good. It is suitable for raising the sky." Years. This matter is beneficial to both public and private, and I hope that my emperor will allow it."

When the silly emperor heard that someone advised his grandfather to go home and rest, he immediately beamed with joy.He usually hates this old man the most, he always makes a face when he has nothing to do, if he is not the mother's real father, he would have sent him home to see his grandson.Even if someone spoke, he did not hesitate, and immediately said:

"En Zhun. Write an imperial decree, and the old general Tong will return to his hometown immediately. His salary is indispensable. In addition, he will be given an additional five hundred shi of grain. Let him retire! If you are hungry, you will not be hungry. If you are exhausted, you can't say it. Bad words."

When Tong Zhenshan heard that he was going to leave his job and return to his hometown, he almost died of anger.He clearly knew that this was all a ruse set up by that old thief Wang Shugui, but it was inconvenient for him to speak out in public.Out of helplessness, the old general sighed and had no choice but to kneel down and kowtow to thank him.

The stupid emperor has such advantages. When necessary, he can be used as a gunman, as a donkey ride, and as a pig for sale.

Wang Shugui made a small plan and removed one first.Below is the mighty empress dowager.Although Prime Minister Wang is an old and powerful minister, he will never be able to enter and leave the Han Emperor's palace as carelessly as Cao Cheng when he was quite a year old.Firstly, it is impossible for him to take people to the harem to arrest them, and secondly, he dare not let the stupid emperor write an imperial decree to put his mother into limbo like Tong Zhenshan was dismissed.Just when he was anxious and desperate, the opportunity came.Tong Biyu's little girl came to find her in a trap, she couldn't stay in the harem well, so she went to Biyun Temple to worship Buddha and offer incense!Wang Shugui and several of his buddies worked together and quickly came up with a brilliant plan: inserting some of his own personnel into the personal guards.First dig a hole in front of the temple gate, put a secret tunnel on it, calculate the location of the empress dowager's phoenix chariot, and then send someone to remove the pedals of the sedan chair, and there will be no empress dowager to carry into the palace.

The abbot of Biyun Temple saw that the court sent people to dig a hole at the entrance of the temple to carry out civil works with great fanfare, and he was a little puzzled, so he asked why?The leader of the construction team said: "Master, don't tell me you don't know. This is the order of our emperor. Isn't the queen mother going to come to the temple to offer incense in two days? You see that there are many bumps and valleys here. The emperor is afraid of his mother." The old lady's sedan chair is not stable, and it is not safe for the old lady to get off the sedan chair, so I specially issued an imperial decree to commission us to build a sedan chair platform for her old man here, do you understand? Master, please take care of me."

The great mage nodded and praised: "What a filial, righteous and virtuous emperor, it is rare for the common people to meet such a holy emperor! The world is very fortunate, the heavenly dynasty is very fortunate, and my Buddha is very fortunate, Amitabha."

This process is complete, how to deal with the next process, that is, who will hang the bell around the cat's neck?

It just so happened that the queen mother asked for it herself. She issued a decree saying that her phoenix chariot was in disrepair because she hadn't been out of the palace for a long time, and she needed to be pulled outside the palace to find a master craftsman to do a comprehensive overhaul.Besides, to go to Biyun Temple, the mountains are high and the water is low, and the road is uneven. It is best to change the chariot into a sedan chair.It's not that there are no woodwork among the eunuchs in the palace, but they are all half-baked goods who have become monks halfway, and the big jobs still come out of the palace.When Wang Shugui got this information, it was like getting into a hot bed in a cold day and bumping into the pillow when he just wanted to sleep.

Finally, how to deal with the remains of the empress dowager.Prime Minister Wang said:

"No matter what, as long as you kill him, it's fine, if you can't, come see me!"

"You can't do it!" The people below waved their hands and said, "After all, the queen mother is still the mother of the country. If she cut off her head, she would commit the crime of deceiving the heavens, and all future generations will die."

Prime Minister Wang pondered for a while, and finally said hesitantly: "What should I do, dig a hole and bury her, and take off her head full of gold and silver jewelry as evidence?"

The following people said little by little: "This is the best."

The plan has been decided, and everyone will act separately.The ones sent out are all carefully selected, one-of-a-kind capable people, and they are exhorted and exhorted, and instructed and instructed. Maybe this is an act of exterminating the nine clans, who would dare to do it sloppily?Forgive me for any omissions and deviations.

Wang Shigui finished all his affairs, and sat on the grand master's chair in the prime minister's mansion of his family, four maids in the front, back, left and right were beating their backs and shoulders, rubbing their legs and feet.Holding a Gaiwan of tea in one hand, and stroking his half-white beard with the other, he secretly speculated on the next step of cabinet formation.As for enthronement, don't be hasty for the time being, he said silently, he couldn't eat hot tofu in a hurry, he had to wait for King Fan to get it.How about giving half of the country to others?Prime Minister Wang felt a little regretful, he shouldn't have been so generous at the beginning, which part of the donkey would be appropriate...