Almighty painter

Chapter 318 The state of mind is like porcelain
Sakai Katsuko raised her head. She tilted her head and stared into Gu Weijing's eyes, as if she saw courage slowly seeping out from the depths of his eyes again.

The broken heart was healed bit by bit by her kisses.

His eyes turned from empty to bright again, and the midday sun shone through Shengzi's shawl hair and onto Gu Weijing's face, reflecting tiny sparkles in it.

"very good."

The girl nodded with satisfaction and gently pressed his forehead with her fingers, "Be quiet now. I know what you are thinking, but you can't."

"I feel in great shape, better than ever before. There are two feelings in my mind. My heart tells me that if I start writing now, I will be able to draw what I want immediately."

Gu Weijing breathed out slowly and smiled.

Hard to understand.

When he thought back to the changes that had occurred in his heart in just half an hour, it felt as if it was a lifetime ago.

The removed wisteria tree, the failure of copying, the setback before the bottleneck, Tang Ning's disdain, the influence of the original family, the inferiority complex in front of the genius, the pressure of inheriting the family business...

Not even Gu Weijing found it.

It turns out that he has accumulated so much negative pressure in his heart since he was a child.

over the past few months.

When the bet with Mr. Cao made the dream of "becoming a great painter" change from a slogan-like goal to something that seemed to be finally visible to Gu Weijing.

This pressure was not released, but began to grow exponentially.

People will not be excited about the unattainable clouds, but they will worry about the gains and losses for the apples that they have a chance to reach on tiptoe.

This is just like when Zhu Yuanzhang was still a beggar, he may have had a sweet dream of becoming an emperor in his mind, but it was just a light and weightless dream.

20 years later.

Lao Zhu had become famous and had gone from a little beggar in Fengyang to a world-famous hero. He took his brothers to Poyang Lake to prepare to fuck the guy and risk his life with Chen Youliang. However, he was so anxious that he could not sleep or sleep well.

Because classmate Zhu suddenly discovered, damn, it turns out that I really might become the emperor.

The process of getting closer to your dream is a process of getting closer to pressure.

Classmate Zhu has been fighting in the north and south for so many years, and his psychology has been tempered to be strong enough, but his Gu Wei-level skills have improved too quickly and too easily.

all the time.

His technical level has become a mature professional painter, but his heart is not ready yet.

So when the negative pressure was detonated, Gu Weijing was destroyed with little resistance.

fortunately.

When Gu Weijing drowned in negative emotions, Miss Sakai fished him out again.

If we lose our horses, we can't know what a blessing is.

If it hadn't been for this interview with Ms. Tang Ning, who had so nakedly penetrated and teased out the knots in his heart, it might have taken a long time for Gu Weijing to realize his psychological problems.

This negative emotion was not given by Tang Ning. It had always been in his heart. Mr. Cao's female disciple just cleverly inserted a fuse to ignite it.

It would have accumulated, accumulated, accumulated...

Until it explodes again at a critical moment full of pressure.

When the emotional bomb explodes, it will be vented by crying.

The deeper it is buried, the more violently it will crack when the destroyed psychological barrier surges out.

This outbreak only almost destroyed Gu Weijing's courage to paint.

If it were buried deep for many more years, it might become a physical bloody bullet, a gunshot that would explode ten years later.

Just like the artist friend who influenced Picasso's life, like Van Gogh, Benjamin, Hemingway, Forster...just like the scarlet flower bloomed by Louis Troy.

Like all tragedies in the art world.

Maybe when you calm down and think back, you realize that it wasn’t a big deal at all.

However, a moment of self-denial is enough to destroy the bravest person in the world.

Even a tough guy like Hemingway, who at a certain moment felt his inspiration faded and thought he could no longer write such a great text as "The Old Man and the Sea", would despair and raise a shotgun against himself. (Note)
(Note: There are different opinions on Hemingway’s tragedy, and the theory of fading inspiration is just one of the explanations.)
"No drawing allowed."

Sakai Katsuko patted Gu Weijing's head again and chuckled: "Two kinds? Tell me about another idea."

"Another kind of thing."

Gu Weijing twitched the corner of his mouth: "The other thought in my mind is that I don't do anything and just want to lie down like this. Being held by you like this, I feel very warm and calm. I want to lie down Until the end of time. It’s also nice to close your eyes and sleep for a while.”

Emotions are truly a wonderful thing.

Not long ago.

He stood in the 35-degree Celsius sunshine, sweating profusely while painting, but he felt cold to the bone. There was a chill spreading from the bottom of his heart that seemed to overwhelm his whole body.

At this moment.

Gu Weijing's whole body was soaked by the cold lake water, but he felt very warm, and the gentle sunshine covered his body like a substantial veil.

He was lying in Sakai Katsuko's arms, as if he were lying in a soft sponge, and the warmth penetrated from the surface of his body to the seams of his bones.

With such a sunny girl by my side.

It seems like just lying there forever, doing nothing, is pretty good.

Sakai Katsuko did not speak.

She smiled, propped up her body, and hugged Gu Weijing a little tighter.

Gu Weijing felt that the hug lasted for a long time, maybe 15 minutes, maybe half an hour, maybe longer.

He actually closed his eyes.

Time seems to have no meaning at this moment.

A fluffy thing jumped on Gu Weijing's belly.

Without opening his eyes, Gu Weijing knew it was Awang.

When little girl Jasmine was taken away by Uncle Alai, she thoughtfully left the cat behind.

Uncle Mao Mi was too proud to run around.

It has been lying quietly at Miss Sakai's feet.

At this time, Awang was probably attracted by the coolness of the evaporating lake water on Gu Weijing's body, or maybe the civet cat also wanted to be held by his big sister like this.

It sniffed Gu Weijing's body with its flesh-colored nose, licked the water droplets on Gu Weijing's neck with its tongue, and then rubbed Miss Sakai's arm, asking her to leave a place for itself.

Awang squeezed over.

It tucked its tail between Gu Weijing's neck and lay down on his side in a swaggering manner.

Beneath him was Miss Sakai, and his cat was lying on his chest.Gu Weijing smiled. He felt that life was really beautiful.

The ancients said that beauty is the grave of heroes.

Gu Weijing somewhat understands the feelings of those foolish kings who are obsessed with the harem and never come to court early from now on.

No matter how warm a hug is, it will eventually end.

When Gu Weijing felt that the water vapor on his body was beginning to evaporate, Awang's tail began to move restlessly, almost stuffing it into his nostrils.

to be frank.

He found that Awang was indeed a little fat now being raised by Katsuko Sakai.

Therefore, Gu Weijing still opened his eyes.

He pushed Awang's fat butt, pushing the resentful cat away from his body, and then looked directly at Sakai Katsuko.

Sakai Katsuko was also looking at him.

"I'd better practice painting for a while. I feel really good now. Don't worry, I feel very good, so I'll just paint for a short while."

"There will be no problem."

Gu Weijing didn't know why Shengzi always insisted on stopping him from practicing painting.

As a painter.

A suitable painting state is always something that can be encountered but cannot be sought.

Every second and every minute he was experiencing now was the perfect state he was in just now, where he cried bitterly and asked for nothing.

He believes that as long as he puts pen to paper, even if he does not have a suitable wisteria tree to collect his feelings on site, it should not be difficult to paint a work of the level of "How the Heart Feels" this time.

Such good emotions and opportunities for breakthroughs were wasted.

Gu Weijing always felt a lot of guilt in his heart, feeling that he was squandering natural resources.

"Well, I believe it. In your current state, you will definitely be able to draw very good paintings." Sakai Katsuko pursed her lips, showing two shallow dimples on her cheeks, and smiled playfully.

"But it still doesn't work." She changed her tone and said seriously.

"why?"

Gu Weijing straightened up from Sakai Katsuko's arms and asked in confusion.

"Because you have just experienced an emotional breakdown. Now Gu Jun is like an athlete who has just finished a long-distance run. You feel that everything is over. In fact, the emotional aftermath has not completely receded. This is not a good time to practice painting. .”

"Shengzi, I've really gotten better. Really, you don't understand how I feel. I feel very grounded and peaceful now, but my mind is very active. I just painted for 5 minutes. I think 5 minutes is enough to strengthen me." Your emotional state is better now. Are you okay?"

Gu Weijing asked, shaking his head.

Sakai Katsuko calmly shook her hand.

"My father said that the painter's state of mind is like a porcelain cup. Every time he has intense emotional fluctuations, it is like the porcelain cup being smashed by a heavy hammer. Some fragile painters will always have only the pain of their lives left in their hearts. Painful pieces of porcelain are scattered everywhere. Some brave painters can return to peace."

"The process of returning to tranquility is the process of skilled craftsmen gluing the pile of porcelain pieces back together. Regardless of whether the repair is good or not, the teacup must be given enough time for the glue to solidify before it is used to drink water and tea again. Otherwise, there will be hidden wounds.”

"You thought you had recovered, but at some point you were poured into the alternating cold and warm ice springs and hot tea, and you were caught off guard and exploded."

Sakai Shengzi took Gu Weijing's hand and explained softly.

"Uncle Sakai said that the painter's state of mind is...a porcelain cup? If it is not properly maintained and repaired, it will crack under pressure."

Gu Weijing recalled his emotional state just now, smacking his lips at the lingering artistic conception of Professor Sakai Kazunari's metaphor.

"Um, Katsuko?"

"You said."

"Your father said that if he recovers well, can he return to his original emotional state?" Gu Weijing was a little confused.

This is the first time in his life that he has experienced such a severe mental problem.

He feels good now.

But Gu Weijing is worried that his future will be shrouded in the shadow of this emotional breakdown.

"No, this can't be done."

"If a piece of porcelain is cracked, it is cracked. Everything in the past will leave a mark on everyone's heart. Unless you lose your memory like in the TV series, it is impossible to return to a state where things never happened."

Sakai Katsuko took out a small wooden comb from her pocket, patted her thigh, and asked Gu Weijing to lie down and tidy up his hair that was messed up by the lake water.

"But don't worry, this doesn't mean you will become a fragile person from now on. If a painter can draw strength from the stirring emotions and gain some understanding, he will become stronger."

"Having a cracked porcelain does not mean it becomes cheap. Every crack in your mind is a story that only belongs to you and a strength that belongs only to you. You can choose to turn the cracks into your permanent weakness, or you can Choose to make it your own unique pattern.”

Sakai Katsuko slowly pushed the comb.

The girl let the ginger comb teeth in her hand push through Gu Weijing's hair little by little.

As a girl who grew up in a top-notch artistic family.

How to adjust your mentality, how to deal with the emotional twists and turns you may encounter in your career, and family education on these issues.

The gap between Gu Weijing, who has lacked father's and mother's love since childhood, and his girlfriend may be wider than the superficial family gap between the two of them.

“Choose to turn the cracks into your patterns?”

"Gu Jun, have you heard of Ge Kiln?" Sakai Katsuko thought for a while.

"Yes, of course. The most expensive one among the five famous kilns. I heard that a cup costs tens of millions at Christie's."

Gu Weijing nodded.

He probably understood what Sakai Katsuko wanted to express.

Ge Kiln is the porcelain cup with the highest firing cost and the lowest yield among the five famous kilns in history. It is famous for its black cracks on the surface.

It is said that Longquan craftsmen in the Song Dynasty had a saying that life and death were on the line when they were fired.

Otherwise, when the furnace is turned on, unique crack patterns will be formed on the surface of the porcelain due to severe thermal expansion and contraction. Otherwise, the uneven stress in the porcelain cup will directly explode into broken porcelain.

In the current craze for antiques, Ge Kiln and Yuan Qinghua almost firmly occupy several items in the list of the most valuable porcelain records.

"White porcelain without any patterns is bland and tasteless. At the same time, a porcelain cup with cracks and cracks on the surface may be a scarred and broken tea vessel that is not even worth fifty cents, or it may be a 500-cent tea cup. You can’t buy it for more than ten thousand dollars, and it’s a fine piece of Dongxia Ge kiln that’s full of wonderful open-cut textures.”

"If you think of it as just a crack, it is just a weakness in your state of mind. If you think of it as your 'golden iron wire' or your 'ink-patterned plum blossoms', then it is a piece of porcelain in the antique world. It’s the most noble. Countless people are willing to pay a thousand gold just to take a look at it.”

Sakai Katsuko stroked his forehead.

"From a girlfriend's perspective, I hope you can have more adequate rest after the torture you just endured."

"From the perspective of an artistic partner, since you have been tortured by pain, I don't want my Gu Jun to harvest only a beautiful wisteria flower. How sad you were just now, how much strength you can draw from it. "

"I'm greedy and you deserve more."

(End of this chapter)