Chapter 44 Reality

"... I've been interested in death since I was a child.

"—Maybe it's because, from a very young age, I knew that I was hated by most of the people around me.

"Except for my father, whether it's my mother or my neighbors, it's hard to hide their hateful expressions when they see me. No matter who they are, the first time they see me, they will look like they are seeing something dirty. Therefore, I have understood from a very young age that I am an 'unallowed' existence and a wrong life.

"Later I found out that the birthmark on my face was born with it, because the birthmark covered too much of my face, and I couldn't even do surgery. But when other children were born due to blessings, I was undergoing surgery. Office nurses and doctors, as if looking at the eyes of 'ghosts' were born.

"...The same is true for my mother, so she accepted the cognition that I am an 'Heavenly Evil Girl' with almost no resistance."

The cold and empty voice echoed in the bookstore. For the first time, Mio Ito took off all disguises and showed the "self" hidden deepest in her heart in front of others.

"The world has always been unequal.

"Some people are born smart; some people are born beautiful; some people are gifted with great athleticism; but there are also people who are born with a collection of mistakes. I... should be like that.

"Since kindergarten, I have understood that when I do the same thing as other children, they can get praise, but the teacher will avoid me. When I get home, other children can get mom's smiling face, and my own My mother just frowned and looked at me.

"The proportion of life is such a disparity, I am alive, in the world of 'living', I hit a wall everywhere.

"However, death is different.

"Obviously they were all kinds of human beings with different appearances and body shapes during their lifetime, but after death, their bodies will gradually rot and melt in the same trend until they become a set of extremely similar white bones. The consistent texture fascinated me deeply.

"...Disease, burning, natural death, falling death, suffocation death. There are many ways to die, but the final result is only one, as pure as crystal. In an instant, from warm to cold; from active Become silent. The human body is extremely fragile, even if it is only a small error in the middle of the body, which may only be a few centimeters in size, it will lead to the loss of life and the arrival of death.

"—Everyone is the same, no one is different. I have no place in the world of the living, but I can feel the warmth of equality in the world of death.

"At that time, because my father was a policeman, I was able to go in and out of his study, so I saw many books in his room-"Criminology Research", "Secret of Corpse", "General Investigation"... Father thought I was interested in his work as a policeman, so I let it go, but it didn't occur to him that I was actually interested in the prisoners and the dead. They were like pianist and orchestra in a concerto, combined to create a The concept of 'death' fascinates me.

"At the same time, through contact with death, the essence of life seems to be revealed in it. Life and death, like twin brothers, go hand in hand. Whenever I think of the overlapping of death and life, my heart becomes So secure, like being in some distant space, in a world where no one can see me, and I can't see anyone.

"...So, shortly after entering elementary school, I personally killed the first 'life', which was the rabbit.

"However, at that time, I just picked an opportunity when no one was there for the convenience of doing it. In fact, at the beginning, I didn't think about shirking responsibility."

Having said that, Mio Ito paused for a moment.

Xi Gu stared at her without speaking, but his eyes seemed to be asking:

"In that case, why did it change later?"

Mio Ito met his gaze.

"...Because of my father.

"Just when I was about to be transferred, my father stepped forward.

"At that time, he stood in front of me like a wall, blocking all sight for me. He always believed that I would not be the murderer. He was the one who thought I was a 'wrong' Among them, the one who always believes that I am the right one.

"His trust impacted my heart. So... at that time, I chose to cover up my true nature, in order not to disappoint him."

Mio Ito's lips were stained with a trance smile, and her thoughts were already immersed in memories.

"So, I conducted a secret investigation in the class and got the timetables of all the students.

"Benefiting from the criminal investigation knowledge I learned in my father's study, I conceived a plan and selected Mineyama Meiya. I used her outdoor shoes to make footprints of the murder weapon buried up the mountain during the time when she had no witnesses. A series of false clues were laid around...and finally succeeded in shifting the suspicion to her.

"...Later, I told the truth to Mineyama Miya, and I also apologized to her... However, her hatred has continued to this day, and she has never forgiven me."

Mio Ito smiled softly, but his eyes became a little absent-minded.

"Generally speaking, after a psychopath kills a living creature, the method of killing will continue to escalate—rabbits, cats, dogs...even humans, then have you killed other living creatures?"

Mio Ito shook his head.

"...that rabbit was the first—and the last—living thing I killed. Because...

"About a month after the incident broke out, one night, after I came home, my father looked very old, and he sat on the sofa and looked at me silently.

"—Then, my father brought me to the Japanese room, and the two of us sat facing each other.

"He who sat in front of me lowered his head deeply. I couldn't see his expression clearly. I could only hear him say to me in a complex tone I had never heard before: 'Mio... I hope you, no matter At no time can you hurt another person.'”

"Did he know from the beginning?"

"...Maybe so.

"Since then, the number of times my father usually goes home has decreased significantly, and he has devoted more attention to work. And more than a year later, I heard the news of his death. That conversation in the Japanese room became my The longest meeting with him alone.

"However, the words left by my father became a commandment fixed in my heart. 'Don't hurt others', even though death is the only thing that makes me happy. I can't kill others .

"Because, if I do this, it seems that the figure standing in front of me at that time will lose its last meaning, even if it is just a disguise."

The dazed smile on Ito Mio's face became weaker and weaker, and her consciousness seemed to sink into the boundless deep sea.

"However, although I can't hurt others, it doesn't mean I can't hurt myself.

"The pain accumulated in my body is actually a kind of comfort to me, because it will bring me closer to 'death'... death of eternal equality, death of absolute peace.

"... Regarding this point, I actually concealed it very well. So far, apart from Your Excellency, the only person who has seen through is Miya Miya. When she found that no matter what kind of pain, she couldn't break me down, on the contrary, it could only make me worse After approaching a quiet 'death', she herself fell into internal friction, faintly becoming desperate...

"...In fact, that night, the night when Manami rescued me, Miya Mineyama seemed to have become crazy because of her despair, and she was determined to make a break with me, to truly destroy me, at the expense of her own wealth and stability. Life is going to kill me directly... But what she didn't expect was that a young girl interrupted all of this.

"...For her, this world should be full of regrets and unwillingness. So I really believe that she will not hit Manami hard, because for her, Manai may be a tool that can be used against me .”

Mio Ito murmured.

There was hesitation in her voice, as well as a touch of sadness that she hadn't noticed.

"So, what about you? Are there any regrets and unwillingness?"

The vision in front of him gradually became dark.

Shitani's voice seemed to come from an incomparably far away place, causing Ito Mio's brain to fall into a strange situation, as if hallucination, but also as reality.

"It's a pity... Are you unwilling...

"...Maybe there is.

"Actually...my nostalgia for death comes from my despair of myself...when I am hated by everyone, even I have to hate myself.

"...but I'm still alive.

"...So, I have to live with this self-loathing all the time.

"...and death is a place of absolute peace that can accommodate everything and dissolve this disgust.

"...However, my father's words have become the 'commandments' in my heart, so... Maybe I will be relieved only when I die."

The horizon has become completely dark.

Mio Ito felt as if her consciousness had floated to the clouds.

It was a place of silence and emptiness.

Really... Are you going to die?
She didn't know why, at this moment, there was only joy in her heart.

"Actually...you don't need to die, but you can get relief."

A familiar voice sounded.

However, the next moment, in the dark horizon, a ray of light suddenly appeared——

A tree, like the supreme tree that supported the sky and covered the whole world, emerged in her consciousness!
Surprise and shock rose up in my heart together.

At the same time, a sign from the gods flickered in her heart:
"...Pierce through your heart, dig out your soul, and offer all your obsessions——

"The power to change reality and realize your desires... is in your hands!"

(End of this chapter)

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