I go north, you go south

Chapter 125
A look of envy gradually appeared on Ling Bei's face: "So I always felt that no matter how deviant Mo Ziwen was, he grew up in such a democratic and loving family.

"In his heart, he should be sunny and positive by nature.

"To be honest, since I was a child, every time I hid at my aunt's house and saw how different their family got along with ours, I felt extremely envious."

Nan Zishu looked up at Ling Bei, didn't say anything, just held his hand silently, waiting for him to continue.

"Every time I go back to my own home, I have a feeling of going back to the ice cellar."

Ling Bei held Nan Zishu's hand instead, as if grasping for a life-saving straw: "In the past, the servants at home were all part-time workers, and they usually cleaned the house when Ling Ganshan was not at home.

"Because Ling Ganshan doesn't like noisy people in the house, so even the floor of the house is covered with carpets.

"All year round, the house is always quiet."

Ling Bei was silent for a moment, but chose to explain: "I always only call him by his first name, because..."

Speaking of this, Ling Bei sighed with some difficulty: "I really can't call that title. He never regarded me as his son before. Naturally, I can't regard him as... father."

Ling Bei tried his best to force himself to accept this word that should be very common and warm to ordinary people.

"Since I was a child, I can barely stand in front of him until I have fulfilled the requirements he gave me.

"As long as I can't do it, he will have many ways to make me remember the feeling of a thousand times more painful than failure.

"So, for many years after that, I couldn't accept failure at all."

Ling Bei smiled and sarcastically, but he was mocking himself: "A person who can't afford to lose, tries his best not to fail, but it's just to avoid his cowardice.

"It's not an 'undefeated god of war' at all, obviously he can't even defeat himself."

Seeing Ling Bei's decadent appearance that he had never shown before, Nan Zi felt relieved.

It turned out that the praise that praised him so highly at that time was actually so embarrassing in his heart.

"I'm actually very pale when I say these words." Ling Bei's eyes gradually showed confusion: "But I don't seem to know how to talk about the experience back then."

He lowered his head in some embarrassment.Obviously those imposed pains are always unforgettable, but it seems that because they have not been put into words, they have scabbed unconsciously.

After gradually getting used to whitewashing the peace, I couldn't find the location of those scars for a while.

Ling Bei frowned and thought hard, trying to dig out those memories in his memory that he had avoided.

But I still don't know where to start.This is. Forgot?
In the end, Ling Bei could only lower his head and smile apologetically at Nan Zishu: "Shu Shu, I don't seem to know how to talk about the specific experience back then.

"It has also been said in psychology that if a certain memory is not friendly to the owner of the memory, that person's subconscious may subconsciously erase some.

"I don't know if it's because of this reason, but now I really can't tell what happened before. Even some things about Ling Ganshan seem to be a little vague to me."

Since Ling Bei reunited with Nan Zishu, his sleeping condition has improved a lot. It seems that he hasn't had any nightmares for a long time.

(End of this chapter)