America 1979

stand at attention when beaten

No matter how the quality of the book is, as an author who hits the street, we have a correct attitude, and the number of updates has indeed not reached the flag set in the testimonials on the shelves. I am sorry for the book lovers who follow the updates every day.

Since the book was put on the shelves, the rhythm and plot have had a big problem. It can even be said that the story after forty or fifty chapters is completely two stories compared with my idea before opening the book.

Let me talk about who I am first, and then explain why this is the case.

Ben Pujie was born in a certain province in the north, and his family’s economic conditions were very poor. Because he was malnourished and his body was not well developed when he was a child, he was relatively thin. Due to various factors, I felt inferior and introverted before going to university. It can be said that I was distorted kind of degree.

I still remember when I was in art class in junior high school, the students all had a set of colored pens, but I didn't.If I tell my parents, they will definitely buy it for me, because they never treat me badly in my studies, but I want to buy a set of color pens for ten yuan or more, and I have no money at home, so I never bought them. I just took my pencil and put it there to draw.Because of this, I was often ridiculed by some girls.

The art teacher also made things difficult for me a few times because I didn't have colored pencils, but because Ben Pujie's grades in junior high school have always been good, she didn't feel too difficult.

It seems that Ben Pujie is very unique, doesn't he?Actually not.Apart from being stingy, I have always been a very thoughtless person. In layman's terms, I do what others say.

When I was in elementary school and middle school, I would do whatever the teacher asked me to learn and assign homework to the students, and my execution ability was quite strong. Therefore, before entering high school, I was always ranked first or second in the class.

Why is this so?I summed it up later, that is, I can't see the teacher's disappointed eyes of "You XX doesn't do your homework, you are also a child who doesn't like to study".

Every time after being looked at by the teacher with this kind of eyes, it is no exaggeration to say that I can feel uncomfortable for several days, I don’t eat well, and I feel like the sky is falling when I wake up.

Extremely inferior and introverted, I have some potential for a pleasing personality, but it is not obvious.

After entering high school, this symptom lessened a little, because I took a top class.The grades of the students in this class are quite good. In the year of the college entrance examination, two of our classes were in the top ten in the province.My grades changed from being at the top of the class in junior high school to being in the middle of the class in high school. I was no longer the focus of the teachers' attention, and the potential of my flattering personality was slightly suppressed.

Being more free in college, I became almost a normal person, just a little more withdrawn.

For example, when someone looses things in the dormitory, boy A, who is extroverted, will take the initiative to run up to the person who looses things, and beg for them coquettishly (boy A is 1.8 meters and five, the strongest person in our dormitory).

My performance was much more cramped. I was holding my mobile phone and pretended to be playing. In fact, I had already glanced at the person who scattered things from the corner of the eye.

Maybe some book friends will say, the author, you are a young man in your 20s, why are you so twisted and twisted.It can't be helped, that's just who I am.

When I started my graduation project at the beginning of this year, the potential of Ben’s flattering personality emerged again. My graduation project instructor is a very good person. She will point out any points that need my attention, but I still do it not good.

At the end of May, it was the last time to submit the thesis. I had to repeatedly revise the defense I had written every day. During this period, I communicated with the instructor on the phone every day, and held a group meeting every few days.

The pressure of graduation thesis, updating novels every day, and going to work in an internship company was all on me at the same time, and I was extremely anxious at that time.The comments on this book and the feedback from the instructor I saw on the writer's assistant made me become sensitive.

In the process of communicating with the instructor, what I fear most is not that she scolds me.

If she really scolded me every day, I might have developed an antibody and raised my psychological threshold. If she scolded me, I would stand still.

What I'm most afraid of is that she points out my mistake, then chuckles and sighs.

Just the kind of disappointment in my tone.

I don't know why, but every time she laughs and sighs, I feel abandoned by the whole world.

Back to this book. At the beginning of the book, I positioned this book as a long-term and full-time work. It was originally a very unpopular subject, and I didn’t expect many people to read it. I wrote it happily. There are so many books Friends look comfortable on the line.

But I don't know what went wrong. The grades of this book are so good that it explodes. It's the kind of good that I dare not be so bold in my dreams.

Originally, as a flutter, if the grades are good, it is natural to update more and make more money.But at the beginning of this year, under the pressure of going to school, graduating, and new book grades, the potential of that kind of pleasing personality has greatly emerged, and I began to pay great attention to the opinions of book friends who left messages.

Originally, according to my plan, the protagonist would have a period of deception and abduction, but some people said how could the reborn be so unqualified, so Ben Pujie urgently deleted this plot, and began to enter the football system step by step, earning fame by playing football .

Because the grades are too good, the rhythm of the plot did not match well with the time it was released.

Even if I deleted the outline of the plot of cheating and abducting, the free period would have to be written for one and a half months to two months, that is, it will be released in mid-June to late June. According to the outline, before it is released, it is almost finished high school and just entered university.

But the book friends were so enthusiastic, they directly let me jump to Sanjiang after the second round, and then it was put on the shelves on June [-]st.This kind of conflict between assumption and reality made me not know what to do, so I speeded up the progress, and after it was put on the shelves, I wrote almost [-] words into a journal without emotion and ups and downs.

It's not as good as it was written before it was put on the shelf.

As mentioned earlier, my personality is twisted and twisted. It is reflected in the writing of the book that after the grades are good, my state is not as good as the ten days when I just started the new book.

Seeing the rising average order every day, what I think is not to write a good plot, but whether someone will scold me when this plot is released, and will those book friends who follow the update be disappointed, because I wrote such a ridiculous thing .

In this kind of thinking, even if I sit in front of the desk and start typing at three o'clock in the afternoon every day, I will only write four to five thousand words at night, and the quality will drop sharply while the amount is small.

The situation has become more serious in the past few days. Because of two opinions on the length of rugby, I have also begun to waver. I don’t know what plot to write, so the number of words updated in these few days is not as good as before it was put on the shelves.

Today's situation is particularly serious. In order to code up to 500 characters, I set the alarm clock and got up at [-] o'clock in the afternoon to code, but until [-]:[-] and almost [-] o'clock, the coding software only had more than [-] Character.

Under normal circumstances, I could write at least three to four thousand words during this period of time. The discrepancy between my thoughts and reality made me feel depressed, and I dropped an enamel cup before going out for dinner at five o'clock.

I have used this cup for more than two years, and I feel distressed and uncomfortable after falling. I didn’t even finish the pork knuckle rice at night, and I didn’t even eat a few mouthfuls of rice.

In this case, it is not acceptable to specify, and it will not be of good quality if it cannot be written in the future.I thought about it for a while at night, and decided to take two days off to sort out the outline, at least to make the subsequent plot, especially the plot about the rugby game, more exciting and exciting.

Otherwise, I'm sorry for the readers who spend money to read books.

(End of this chapter)