Shepherd Tantra

Chapter 933 I love you, as always
……Why?
Aiwass hesitated and did not answer.

Yulia thought for a while, then suddenly smiled brightly. She sat on the ground, patted her thighs, and motioned for Aiwas to lie down. "Brother has answered many questions for me... Then let me listen to your troubles. Maybe I can help answer them too!"

For a moment, Aiwas was a little dazed.

Not because of Yulia's invitation to the lap pillow...

It was because he realized that his melancholy and hesitation just now might be meaningless in a sense.

——The theme of this world is "self-separation".

Hengwo had stripped himself off ten times, and Crown Lord, Supreme Heaven, and Great Master had all done the cutting. The power cut out by the Samsara Celestial Master at the beginning made Amber, the many snake tails cut out by the Ring Celestial Master became what he is today, and the Fallen Celestial Master was also a part cut out by Lucifer, not to mention the Pillar God like the Sand Clock that can help people cut...

The reason is that the source river is absolutely pure.

The only way to achieve the status of a Pillar God is to purify oneself to a pure state. The safest and most mature way is to separate oneself.

Once we think about the philosophy of self-separation, the puzzle of “what is me” becomes a topic that we cannot avoid.

The God of Reincarnation, the God of Rings, the "Snake", the Shepherd, Ai Shiping, Aiwass, Aleister... their essence may be the same, but they are absolutely different from each other.

If you cannot find out what your true self is, then it is nothing but self-denial and self-struggle.

But at this moment, the words that the Lord of Scales and Feathers had said came to Aiwas' mind:
“—You come from another world, right… This is your biggest secret.

"——You didn't tell anyone this secret. Not Isabel, not Yulia. Because in your memory, this world is just a game... and you are not 'Evans Moriarty'.

"——But is this really the case?"

……yes.

Aiwass opened his eyes slightly.

Come to think of it, why have I never told them this secret?

The answer was obvious - because Aiwass was worried that once he said that, their relationship would no longer be pure. They might think that Aiwass was not the real Aiwass, and they might even become estranged because of it...

Whether it was Yulia or Isabel, they were both important ties to Aiwass in this world. He couldn't bear the possibility of losing them - even if it was just a possibility.

Therefore, he subconsciously chose to conceal it. He never even thought about whether he should conceal it...

And now, this question has emerged from the lake of the soul.

The words are clear as day -

"...if, I mean if...Yulia."

Aiwass asked softly: "Suppose... I have memories from another world, which allow me to predict the future to a certain extent. So I can become such a remarkable person today... What would you think of me?"

Yulia looked at Aiwass steadily, but suddenly laughed: "No wonder... I understand. It was obtained from... the day when the Shadow Demon was brought back, right? Those abilities to transform tarot cards into extraordinary items were also obtained at that time, right?"

"…What's the matter?"

Aiwass said calmly without changing his expression: "It's just a 'what if'."

But at this moment, his heart was beating so fast.

But Yulia just said briskly: "What are you worried about, brother?"

——The moment his brother said that, Aiwass felt like he was basking in the warm sun in winter.

Yulia put her hand over her mouth, squinted her eyes and chuckled: "You are not worried... I will think you are an outsider who took my brother away? Or do you think I will cry and ask you to give him back to me? If you really think so, I will be sad.

"——My brother actually thought that I couldn't recognize my most beloved relative in the world... Fortunately, it was me you asked. If you had asked Sister Isabel instead of me, she might have been so sad that she would have cried."

This was the playfulness and aggressiveness that Yulia had never shown in front of Aiwass before.

All along, Yulia had always been soft and tender in front of Aiwas, looking well-behaved and in need of protection. She always had a lovely smile on her face, like a smiling angel or a cute little snowball.

However, when Yulia said these "inconsistent" words, Aiwass did not feel strange or uncomfortable.

Because Aiwass actually knew that Yulia also had a strong sense of self-esteem, and was stubborn and obstinate. Sometimes she would even show strong aggressiveness in front of strangers... She even wanted to become a celestial being. But Aiwass would not associate this impression with the Yulia he knew.

……etc?
So to say……

Aiwass was stunned for a moment, then suddenly reacted.

Seeing this, Yulia also smiled gently.

At this moment, she was in another strange posture that Aiwas had never seen before.

She got up from the ground, brushed off the dust on her butt, walked over briskly, stood on tiptoe, and reached out to touch Aiwas's head.

She no longer used such aggressive words, her voice became gentle again, but her tone was still much more mature than before: "Look, brother. People are always pretending. People will make themselves better in front of the people they care about. No matter what kind of personality or self they have, it may be pretended... Even important relatives are the same, there will always be some secrets.

"Even if I'm hiding something from you, I don't want you to see it...

"But when I really show this side of me, you're not surprised. Just because I'm not always as cute as I am in front of you, will you despise me and think that I'm not Yulia, but a monster that occupies your sister's body?"

"...Of course not." Aiwass whispered.

"Me too, brother."

Yulia said seriously with a bright smile on her face.

"No matter what you become, no matter what memories you have acquired... I will never make a mistake. You are my brother, you are the real 'Evans'. Everything you do is what I think the Aiwas should do."

The person Yulia was referring to was "Evans" whom she met in the orphanage, not "Evans Moriarty".

——That was the Aiwass she really knew.

"I also believe that even if you get the memory of the future, you will not do anything bad. You must be trying to save everything around you... Even I was saved by you, right?"

Yulia sat on the ground and said leisurely, "I just never asked about the mysterious skill that saved me from the fate of the 'Phantom Demon Egg'... but I didn't forget it. That is the ability I got from the memory of the other world, right?
"Since that's the power used to save others - I think it can't be wrong."

She spread her hands, smiling calmly as if Aiwass had comforted her in the past, and asked for a hug generously: "If you are worried, come and hug me."

At that moment, Aiwass seemed to see another self through Yulia.

What he saw was the Aiwass before he "awakened his past life memories".

Aiwass looked at his past self, but did not feel the slightest bit of strangeness or alienation.

——Without a doubt, that is the "real self".

The hesitation in my heart disappeared in an instant.

It doesn't matter whether he is Ai Shiping, Huan Tiansi, or a time traveler... whether he is a real person, or a created tool, or even a residual image, or a key...

His name is Aiwass.

He is Yulia's brother, Isabel's husband, Edward's younger brother, Sherlock's bad friend, Lily's master, Aleister's half... He is the Prince of Avalon and the Pope of the elves.

——No matter what he “used to be”, he is now “Evans” in the eyes of these people.

The real Aiwass has already been born.

In the love of people.

Seeing that Aiwass was still standing there motionless, Yulia simply took a step forward and hugged Aiwass tightly.

It was a temperature as hot as fire, making Aiwas' heartbeat feel like another heartbeat.

"I love you, brother."

Yulia raised her head and whispered in Aiwas's ear: "Same as always."

(End of this chapter)