Oncology Physician Life

Chapter 8 Chapter 07 Mother's Letter
Jiang Li bid farewell to Lu Jiajia, dragged his heavy luggage out of the surgical emergency building, and saw Ji Han who parked his car at the door of the building at a glance.Seeing her turn around and walk in another direction, Ji Han raised his heels: "It's so late now, it's inconvenient to go to the hotel, why not..."

After a pause, Jiang Li politely declined Ji Han's kindness: "I found a hotel on my mobile phone, it's nearby, and it's already so late, you should hurry home."

"It's okay." Ji Han's tone could not detect any emotion, "I'll take you there first."

Looking at the empty intersection in front of him, Jiang Li hesitated to find a reason to prevaricate, but saw that Ji Han had already skillfully loaded his luggage into the trunk of the car.

Her mood was a bit complicated. If it was a relationship with a hospital colleague she didn't know, she could reject it straightforwardly, but it happened to be Ji Han. There have been three years of relationship experience, it was each other's first love, and there was a short-term marriage relationship after that.

When Jiang Li returned to China this time, he didn't know what attitude he should use to face Ji Han, after all, the two hadn't seen each other for seven years.

Looking up at the sky, the blue that just appeared in the sky at four o'clock in the morning was soon covered by dark clouds.Shanghai is a city near the sea, and the climate is changing rapidly. The reason why I left this city was because I hated the rainy season in Shanghai very much.

There were already nurses and doctors on night shift in the surgical emergency building who were about to leave. Somebody yelled "It's raining", and raindrops began to drip from the sky. Jiang Li raised his hand and felt a few drops of coolness in his palm.Ji Han opened the co-pilot's door and said to her: "It's raining, I'll take you to the hotel first!"

While the two were talking, the rain suddenly became unstoppable, and a few people in the surgical emergency building also fled away to avoid the rain. Jiang Li could only logically get into Ji Han's car.

Ji Han is thin and tall, and there is a head gap between Jiang Li and him.In the car, Ji Han asked for the hotel's address and turned on the car navigation. The hotel's address is not very close to the hospital, and it takes nearly 15 minutes to drive.

The rain outside the car window continued unabated, and the wind was blowing hard. Jiang Li was not cold-resistant, and when he first got in the car, his body was soaked in rain, and his fingertips had become cold, so he sneezed three or four times.The hotel is in the MH area, and Ji Han helped her carry her luggage to the front desk, but the front desk told her that the last room in the hotel had already been booked out just now.This season is catching up with the peak tourist season after the epidemic is unblocked, and the rooms in Shanghai hotels are very tight.

"Let's live at home." Ji Han didn't wait for her to refuse, dragging his luggage and walked out of the hotel, "Your room has basically not been touched in the past few years, and you bought this house because it was convenient to work in the hospital. I just came back, and I can’t get used to staying in a hotel.”

Jiang Li was not in the mood to continue looking for other hotels, so he said "Excuse me", turned around and got into Ji Han's car again.

Ten minutes later, the car turned around Zhongjin International Plaza and stopped downstairs in the community. The reason why the two chose this house seven years ago was because of the convenient transportation here. The Xujiahui subway station is on the left side of the community. Drive straight ahead It takes more than ten minutes to get to the First Affiliated Tumor Hospital of Fudan University, and it is also very close to the alma mater of the two universities, Fudan University Shanghai Medical College, and you can go back to visit the teachers in your spare time.

After seven years, Jiang Li once again stood in front of the home he had been away for many years.

When I bought this house, my mother was still alive, and she had to stay in the hospital six days a week because she had just been promoted to a resident, so she could only entrust her to clean the room for herself.Ji Han opened the door, and the memory kept rolling out of Jiang Li's mind like a raging tide.

She stood where she was, and her eyes stopped on the blue furry bag facing the entrance. It was cashmere wool bought by her mother and was woven one by one. A pinhole staggered direction.

The overall decoration style of the house is modern minimalist soft decoration, with solid wood furniture, which is very warm. After that, Jiang Li continued to use this decoration style during the seven or eight years in New York and Washington.The house has a total of three bedrooms and one bathroom. In the guest bedroom, there are still things from her college days. After the divorce, she left the country and never took them away.

The rain outside was torrential, beating the scattered bay windows and white curtains, under the open and closed window frames, a lot of rain slipped in and splattered on the solid wood floor.Ji Han didn't care about changing his shoes, stepped barefoot in the wet water, stretched out his slender arms to close the window.

Jiang Li pushed open the door of the guest bedroom. In the light-white bedroom, everything was the same as when he left a few years ago, even the incense placed by the bed has not been changed.She looked at the rows of bookshelves, and the medical books on them didn't even change the order, they still maintained the same appearance as before.

She touched the traces of those years, until the envelope she had hidden behind the medical English book revealed a brand new corner.This is a letter written by mother Zhao Guizhi to her 18-year-old daughter Jiang Li. It is also the only letter from her mother that she has received in her life.

She still remembers the reason for this incident, because on the day she finished the college entrance examination and applied for volunteering, her mother, who is a teacher of the people, strongly opposed her application for the oncology major of Fudan University School of Medicine.The mother thinks that her daughter is not strong enough and has a sentimental personality, which is not suitable for this kind of workplace where she is dying. In fact, there is another reason why the mother did not say it. Jiang Li only realized after the death of the mother, that is, the doctor is too busy. In a single-parent family where mother and daughter depend on each other for life, the mother is afraid that she will lose her only daughter.

Before the age of 18, Jiang Li relied on her mother Zhao Guizhi, but this time she and her mother had a big fight.

On the day before leaving before school started, my mother was going to the town to participate in research work, so she didn't see her off.Jiang Li went to the train station alone with heavy luggage. There was a whole section of the train compartment filled with students who were about to go on a long journey. Why was there a family of three, or friends in groups, but he was the only one alone? people?She felt very wronged, and even thought that she would not come back during the summer vacation.

Just before the train was about to start, she heard her mother Zhao Guizhi calling her name loudly from the window. Her mother, who was supposed to be doing research work in the small town, suddenly appeared on the crowded platform.She looked out of the car window. Her mother was wearing thin clothes, sweating profusely, and was anxiously looking for her figure.

My mother is an intellectual and has always been very gentle, but at that moment she looked embarrassed.Later, she found out that her mother regretted going to the small town temporarily. After all, this was the first time her daughter left her and went out alone, but she missed the long-distance bus in the town and borrowed a bicycle from a local colleague. Kilometers back.

At that moment, Jiang Li's tears fell down, calling his mother's name.Amidst the rumbling sound of the train starting, Jiang Li still remembered her mother's hasty and sad words: "Xiao Li, mother can only send you here, and you have to go on your own for the rest of the way."

When he arrived at school and opened the suitcase, Jiang Li discovered that there was an envelope from his mother hidden inside, which was an extra 3000 yuan from his mother in addition to the living expenses, and the letter she wrote from home.Afterwards, Jiang Li was successful in his studies, met Ji Han, and the two formed a family. His mother only occasionally came from the small town to stay for a few days.

It’s just that all of this changed seven years ago. At that time, Jiang Li just got a scholarship from WHO (World Health Organization) to study a Ph.D (Doctor of Philosophy Degree) at Harvard Medical School. When she left, her mother was very sad, saying After she left like this, she didn't know if she would see her again.

At that time, Jiang Li just thought that her mother was a little sentimental. According to the plan, she would be able to come back to visit her mother when she finished the first semester's project in a year. Unexpectedly, after a few months, she received a notice from Ji Han that her mother had a cerebral hemorrhage. Emergency surgery, vital signs were stable. At that time, Jiang Li was desperately catching up with his project and writing a thesis. Hearing that his mother was fine, he thought about finishing this semester's project and rushing back. During the phone call with Ji Han, he also learned that his mother was fine. OK

Unexpectedly, three months later, Ji Han suddenly called her and said that her mother, Zhao Guizhi, couldn't hold on anymore. At that time, Jiang Li knew that her mother was not a cerebral hemorrhage at all, but a cerebral hemangioma.Jiang Li took the time to book a plane ticket and rush back. She knew that her mother must be desperately waiting for her to go back. Finally, on the second night, Jiang Li returned to Shanghai, but when she rushed to the hospital, Ji Han told her , mother Zhao Yazhi left at two o'clock in the morning.

It was only three hours, just three hours, mother Zhao Guizhi did not wait for her daughter Jiang Li.

Jiang Li cried for three days and three nights, not only because of her mother's death, but also because of deep self-blame, guilt, regret, and why Ji Han listened to her mother, coaxed her, didn't tell herself the truth, didn't tell herself the truth about her mother illness!
Jiang Li has always been caught in this kind of self-blame. She used to firmly believe that as a medical student, she would definitely be able to take good care of her mother, and if she hadn't gone abroad to study and stayed with her mother, her mother might not have left.

This kind of self-blame made her fail to recover after seven years, and it also caused her marriage with Ji Han to eventually break down.

She knew that, as a daughter, she would live on the tip of a knife for the rest of her life.

She gently unfolded the only letter her mother left for herself, and the handwriting on it seemed brand new:

Xiaoli, if you don't want to listen to your mother's arrangement and want to see the outside world for your own dreams, then your mother will support you. My daughter will definitely not be worse than other children. Mom believes in you. Will become the best oncologist in Shanghai!

…………

Xiao Li, there is only so much that your father and mother can give you. Although before the age of 18, in books and in your family, your mother often taught you that all roads lead to Rome, but when you are about to enter university and enter the society At that time, my mother would also tell you that there is a group of people in this world who were born in Rome as soon as they were born.You should never implore the world and society to be fair!So, if you encounter setbacks and injustice in the future, don't cry, your mother will feel distressed.

Also, the daughter of our Jiang family, as long as she is full, she will have the strength to stand up again.

Looking at the letter his mother wrote to him back then, Jiang Li's tears fell involuntarily.When his mother was there before, she was Jiang Li's pillar, and his mother said that he didn't have to take care of everything in the family. After she left, Jiang Li realized the burden on his shoulders.After her mother died, she studied and worked in the United States, and it was also the most difficult time in her life.

Unsatisfactory work, rejection in the eyes of colleagues, differences between Chinese and Western cultures, inconveniences in life, but these are the things that make her really grow up.

But what Jiang Li didn't expect was that Zhao Guizhi, the mother who taught and educated all her life, left the most important lesson in her daughter's life. She used her own departure to let her learn real growth.

This is also one of the reasons why Jiang Li is unwilling to return to this room again.

It is said that time can heal all wounds, but Jiang Li thinks it may not be so.

Ji Han stood outside the bedroom door, watching her laugh and cry, as if remembering something, he put the brand new bathrobe and toiletries on the sofa at the door: "I have cleaned the bathroom, if you don't mind If so, take a hot bath."

Jiang Li walked out of the room, stood at the door and looked at Ji Han, who was sitting on the shoe cabinet at the entrance, putting on shoes and socks.

Jiang Li asked: "Are you going to work during the day today?"

Without raising his head, Ji Han let out a "hmm", picked up the coat hanging on the hanger, turned around, and the light in the living room reflected the suit on him even more brightly.

The sky outside was still stormy and dark, but the people in the room overlapped little by little with the time they remembered seven years ago.

It's just that this peace and tranquility didn't last for a moment, and was quickly broken by the loud ringtone of the mobile phone.

"Professor Ji, why did you answer your call? The Department of Cardiac Surgery is looking for you like crazy! There is a patient in the Department of Cardiac Surgery, and an esophagus tumor was found in the middle of the heart surgery. Director Li of the Department of Cardiac Surgery, please go to the hospital for consultation!"

Ji Han hung up the phone and pointed to the refrigerator: "There are vegetables and dumplings in it. If you are hungry, you can cook and eat some, or you can take a nap first. The admission procedures at the hospital office are at ten o'clock in the morning. I'll come back to pick you up when I'm done?"

"Don't worry about it," Jiang Li hastily declined, "I'll just take a taxi and go there by myself. It's not too far from the hospital."

Ji Han wanted to say something, but the phone rang again, he nodded at Jiang Li, turned around and walked out of the room.Jiang Li opened the curtains and looked at Shanghai at five o'clock in the morning. In the rushing wind and rain, it seemed that there was a strange and unreachable world separated.

(End of this chapter)