post middle age

Chapter 39
In the snowy winter night, Ren Shuxia was lying in the bedroom as warm as spring. Under the warm pink light, her black shiny hair fell down naturally, smooth and soft like black brocade.A white nightdress outlines her beautiful figure, like a lily quietly blooming at midnight.

During the day, the talk with her best friend Yao Ting made her restless heart gradually calm down. At this time, while listening to the melodious songs, while lowering her head to think about her own thoughts, an inexplicable loneliness surged to her chest , unknowingly opened the familiar WeChat avatar with his finger, and sent the first message:
Mulan: "Are you there?"

The other party replied in seconds:

Tel: "Yes."

Mulan: "What are you doing?"

Tell: I am expressing my love for you with poetry! "

Mulan: "You are the only one who is poor! What are you doing to tell the truth?"

Tell: "I'm reading a really touching article on the Internet."

Mulan: "What kind of web articles, post them for a look?"

Li Te sent this touching web article to Ren Shuxia:

"Self-Confessions of a Great Female Teacher

I've been busy recently, and I've been very sad recently, at least I think so.

From the beginning of school on August 8 to the present, I feel like I have been in a whirlpool, unable to jump out.All kinds of things happened one after another, and the last three months of turning 22 were very chaotic.

The first is my daughter's illness and cough.I coughed without taking medicine, and the cough was so severe that I needed an infusion.There are really more "experts" now. When I see the infusion for a child, there will be various voices in my ears. Will I, as a mother, harm my child?Do we instead question the advice given by professional doctors and instead believe in some traditional experience?Ridiculous and sad, but I still have to smile and say thank you, after all, it is also due to caring.However, if we are not around and have not personally experienced our process, this kind of concern is still a little less.

Then I was sick.For the first time, I really felt that our lives are really fragile.I don't know how much I spent in the hospital this year. I am approaching middle age, and suddenly I am very afraid that I will get sick. Because I can't go to work or take care of my children when I'm sick, my heart is extremely painful.So, this year, I gritted my teeth and bought critical illness insurance for myself and my family. Who would have predicted which one would come first, illness, accident or tomorrow?My husband was very busy those few days, and I suddenly felt severe pain in my chest, and my breasts were like being pricked by needles, and I didn't dare to touch them.I was afraid in my heart. At that moment, no matter what kind of person we are, we would involuntarily think about it.Finally, after my husband finished his work for a few days, he went to register and check.When I exposed myself to the doctor and lay on the examination bed, I felt like a fish waiting to be dissected. At that moment, I felt that I was surrounded by loneliness and fear completely occupied me.Prescribe a checklist, do an inspection, and wait for the results to be judged by the doctor.When those technical terms that I have never heard of were mentioned to me, I was completely stunned. However, an adult’s rationality told me to treat it correctly, to be optimistic, forced a smile, and said thank you doctor.Just after the examination and before seeing the results, I let myself cry in the corner of the bathroom in the hospital, and I can only bear these by myself.After getting the preliminary results, my husband asked if he wanted to accompany me, but I refused.He is also very busy at work, and more importantly, I don't know what the result will be, and I don't know if I will collapse again. Many people say that I need to rely on each other's arms, but really, when I really face it, I would rather fight alone , I was really panicked.For half a month, I saw three experts, one general doctor, and even consulted my uncle in my hometown in Shandong.Three doctors gave suggestions for surgery, and one doctor said that you can take medicine first, and the operation can be done slowly, but it must be done. My uncle told me, don't be afraid, take some medicine, and review after a while.I think, listen to uncle.In the past ten years, whenever I encountered difficulties, my uncle always encouraged me by my side. I believe what he said.Originally, the matter of the mammary gland was a disease caused by accumulation.Many people who have been found to be benign will gradually get better if they maintain a healthy and happy life, but there are also some healthy people who will get worse if they continue to overdraw.What's more, I am taking care of my third year of high school this year, and my child is in school. What should I do if I have an operation now.No income, have to ask for leave, no one.How dare I let myself fall.All day yesterday, maybe emotionally, it hurt all day.I also know that there should not be too many fluctuations, and I understand the reason.But sometimes, when one thing after another weighs on me, I really can't be strong.Sometimes I say to myself, why do I wrong myself so much, isn’t it good to love myself?After all, I still can't bear it.People, middle-aged people, middle-aged women, a middle-aged woman who is in the workplace and a mother, has mixed feelings.

In the end, it's about work.A lot, very busy, very anxious, and some things are very helpless.Maybe I have to say it again, it's not worth it for work.I don't want to say how noble I am, but I know that, looking at these high school seniors, I thought, if I can pull it off, I should pull it off.Originally, I was relatively stupid, so I should work harder, otherwise.At least I have a clear conscience.Other gossip, just listen to it.who cares.

Doing good deeds without asking for reward.

How long the rest of our lives will be, we never know.No matter how difficult it is, you have to grit your teeth and let yourself change, don't give yourself so much responsibility.Love yourself, love your family, and do what you want to do.Everything else is just passing smoke.

Everyone has a different way of venting, write these words, let yourself put on the armor again, and continue to fight. "

After Ren Shuxia read each word carefully, she immediately burst into tears, unable to heal her sad mood for a long time. At this time, Li Te sent to ask:
Ter: "Yan'er, are you crying?"

Mulan: "It's so touching. She is a kind teacher and a great woman! Although she is ordinary, she has fortitude and tenacity in her heart!
Tell: "We pay tribute to the teachers who have worked hard and dedicated silently on the three-foot podium!"

Mulan: "It's not easy to be middle-aged!"

Tell: "When I miss you, I just want to take a look and feel very warm; when I miss you, I just want to say hello, and I feel at ease; when I'm lonely, I just want to talk for a while, and I'm very attached. The fish said: You can't see My tears, because I am in the water, the water said: I can feel your tears, because you are in my heart. The most expensive thing in the world is not money, but time; the most beautiful thing in life is not scenery, but emotion; The most difficult thing is not staying together, but getting to know each other."

Mulan: "You're so kind! It's great to have you by my side in this life!"

Tell: "Words have no soul, and when you meet someone with a destiny, you will be warm."

Mulan: "You are a great talent, and you speak in a very polite manner."

Ter: "Yan'er, I love you!"

Ren Shuxia confessed to the Internet, her heart trembled, and she sent Li Te a "hug" emoji.Afterwards, both of them fell into a beautiful reverie of themselves... and did not talk for a long time.

After a long time, Li Te saw Mulan's head flashing, and a message came:
Mulan: "I heard from Yao Ting that there is a spiritual station on the China Railway Workers' Union website. I want to try to consult it?"

Tell: "You are talking about China Railway Huiyuan, right? China Railway Huiyuan is an online service platform specially created for China Railway employees. The company's latest news and information are always known, and theme activities are held for employees to receive welfare subsidies with one click. Employees communicate, learn and interact. It's more convenient, there's a spiritual station inside, which is specially for employees' mental health consultation, how about this, I'll send you a link, you can register first tomorrow?"

Afterwards, Li Te not only sent the link, but also sent a screenshot of how to register as a member. Ren Shuxia couldn't help feeling excited when she saw Li Te being so careful. She looked at Li Te's sunny face with affectionate eyes. Avatar, long time, long time...

　Writing comprehension: Thank you Mr. Nan for carefully explaining the psychological creation of the protagonist Ren Shuxia. I deeply feel the vivid and vivid materials in the real social life. With so many support and encouragement of literature lovers, how can I not create meticulously and continue to write... I am grateful for this era, thank you Your company along the way makes me warm like spring all the time, happy in it, and content with the fragrance of books...Heng Chuan Lu 20191010
　　
　
(End of this chapter)