Secret love words

Chapter 42
Ji Yan looked at her quietly for a long time, curled his lower lip, and responded in a low voice: "At first it was hatred, but later I slowly discovered that the reason why such things happened actually has nothing to do with you."

It's that he can't forgive himself, and he can't act as if nothing happened.

As he said, he lowered the car window, took out a cigarette case from his pocket, took out one, lit it and took a puff, then raised his eyes to look at Xu Chenyin again, and said lightly: "Xu Chenyin, that incident is like a thorn in my heart." Scar, it took me ten years, and finally there are traces of healing, don't tear it up again, okay?"

"However, I am also in pain. In the ten years since I was separated from you, my heart has been in pain day and night."

Xu Chenyin lowered her head and smiled slightly, tears rolled down her fair and delicate face, "I always think that if there is something that we two face together, it will be much better than you suffering alone now."

face together?
Her words made Ji Yan's expression stiff, and he didn't respond even when the ash fell and burned his hands.

Xu Chenyin watched him quietly.

After a while, Ji Yan pursed his lips, and said in a low voice: "Xu Chenyin, I told you about that matter, and it will only make you suffer. There is no saying that two people will be better if they face it together."

No matter it was the past or the present, the thought of keeping Xu Chenyin from knowing about that incident, he will never change from beginning to end.

Because he clearly understood that once Xu Chenyin knew about it, he would only blame himself and suffer more than him.

What's more, he probably won't be able to forget that incident for the rest of his life, and he can't convince himself to be together with Xu Chenyin again as if nothing happened.

Hearing this, Xu Chenyin paused before continuing: "Ji Yan, it's just that you think that no matter what, I can bear it, and I also..."

"Get out of the car."

Ji Yan frowned and interrupted her.

Listening to his indifferent tone, Xu Chenyin's eyes became more and more red, and she said in a somewhat hoarse tone, "Why don't you believe me?"

"Because you once broke your promise to me."

Ji Yan responded without hesitation, staring at her with a pair of dark eyes: "Is this reason acceptable?"

Xu Chenyin opened his mouth, his heart dropped, and he was speechless.

The smoke was lingering in the car, and when watching the hazy tears in her eyes, Ji Yan had a strong sense of tiredness between his brows, and asked slowly: "Xu Chenyin, do you think there is still a possibility between us?"

"Have."

Xu Chenyin nodded persistently: "There must be."

When she said this, her face was blushing due to drunkenness, coupled with her delicate and serious expression at the moment.

Ji Yan watched, and couldn't hold back a chuckle, but his tone was still indifferent: "There will be in the dream."

Xu Chenyin's head was heavy now, and he blinked, unable to react for a moment: "What do you mean?"

"Literally." Ji Yan said as he unbuckled her seat belt, urging: "I'll take you back, don't waste my time."

"..."

The seat belt was unbuckled, and Xu Chenyin pushed the door and got out of the car as if angry. She imagined that she could leave without looking back.

But the reality was that it embarrassed her severely. As soon as she got out of the car, her knees softened uncontrollably, and she suddenly squatted on the ground in a embarrassed posture.

Hearing Ji Yan's footsteps approaching from far to near, she couldn't help feeling a little annoyed inwardly, she knew that enough was enough for her tonight.

"Can you still walk by yourself?"

Ji Yan walked up to her and stood condescendingly in front of her, with a smile in his eyes.

Xu Chenyin looked up at him, her eyes were blurred, and her mind merged and overlapped the former boy and the present man.

She suddenly felt a little wronged.

I can't help but think of the scene in the past, the summer in Beijing is always weirdly hot, but all the high temperature weather can't move the physical education teacher in the slightest.

"800 meters, no one can let me fall, now start counting."

As a whistle sounded, even if the whole class was reluctant, they could only take a step forward.

And she happened to be showing signs of heatstroke that day, but because their physical education teacher was indeed vicious, she had witnessed with her own eyes that some female students were scolded for taking leave because of their menstrual period, and they collapsed and cried, and she felt faint dizziness , it is even less likely to ask for leave.

So she didn't rush to get scolded, and she was lucky enough to think that nothing would happen, but with the scorching sun and the accumulation of laps, she gradually began to lose her strength, and was gradually overtaken by the girls behind her.

Just when she was about to tell the physical education teacher to quit, she heard the voice of the physical education teacher scolding: "Xu Chenyin, your speed is a drag on everyone, if you can't finish the remaining lap and a half within 2 minutes, Then the whole class of girls will run with you again."

In an instant, there was a sound of complaints.

"What, why!"

"Hey, can you run quickly?"

"Why do you want to pretend to be pitiful!"

All kinds of noisy complaints and sarcasm rushed to her ears. In order not to offend others, she could only force herself to speed up her pace.

But in the last half lap, when she was about to see the dawn of victory, her eyes suddenly went dark, and she fell straight onto the plastic track on the playground.

There was an exclamation in the playground.

She remembered very clearly that it was the young man who ran to his side over the crowd, and under the surprised gazes of the crowd, he picked her up horizontally and ran all the way to the infirmary.

And a voice followed closely behind the young man: "Brother Yan, the popsicle was about to melt just now, I ate it for you? I really ate it for you!"

She wanted to laugh when she heard this sentence, but when she opened her eyes slightly, when she saw the boy's anxious expression, she suddenly became dazed and forgot all her reactions for a moment.

Under the scorching sun, the boy hugged her and ran forward desperately, but she could clearly hear the boy's violent heartbeat.

At that moment, she seemed to feel that time passed very slowly, so slow that it was a picture she would never forget in her whole life.

That was the first time she felt real care from other people besides her mother.

And this person was the boy she had been thinking about before.

"Xu Chenyin, what's wrong with you?"

Facing the boy's worried question, she sat on the bed in the school infirmary, but she couldn't answer a word for a long time, but her eyes were red.

Just like now, facing Ji Yan's concern, the tears in her eyes no longer fell uncontrollably.

Seeing this, Ji Yan couldn't help but frowned, squatted down, looked at her level, and asked in a gentle voice: "What's wrong with you?"

Xu Chenyin sniffed, looked at him with teary eyes, shook his head and nodded, and said in a muffled voice, "Ji Yan, can you hug me?"

(End of this chapter)