The Pacifist Necromancer of Hogwarts

Chapter 339 No Reception
Anthony watched Harry and Ron catch up with Hermione, then turned and went upstairs, carefully avoiding the water flowing along the base of the wall - Myrtle was in as good a mood as ever - and returned to his office.

There were no classes this morning, so Anthony just flipped through the lesson plans, looked at the OWLs sample questions Professor Bubbage gave him, and sorted out the results of the students' previous in-class tests. He met Umbridge on the way to the library and almost refused her request to audit the class without thinking. Judging from the sweet smile of the senior investigator, his next teaching assessment score would probably be very interesting.

"I would like to remind you, Professor Anthony," Umbridge said in a coquettish voice, "that according to the Education Order, you have no right to refuse the investigation. You certainly don't want to be regarded as deliberately disobeying the Education Order? I mean, if you are not prepared to talk about something in class that is not convenient for investigation..."

"Of course not, Madam Umbridge."

"Excellent!" said Umbridge in a sweet voice. "Then it's settled! This afternoon at two -"

Anthony said, "Uh..."

Umbridge tilted her head slightly: "What's wrong?"

Anthony explained, "I'm sorry, but this afternoon is just a fifth-grade review class. There's nothing new or worth auditing."

Umbridge smiled. "Oh, don't worry, Professor Anthony. OWLs and NEWTs are the most important exams in many wizards' lives, and they are also the best way to test whether students have received appropriate and sufficient education. Review classes reflect whether professors understand what kind of knowledge they should teach students... But, of course, the Ministry of Magic is already reviewing a series of updated syllabuses developed by professionals. After they are released, I believe professors will be happy to find that they are quite helpful in choosing appropriate teaching methods and content..."

"You see, Madam Umbridge, this is why."

Umbridge looked at him with bulging eyes, as if she didn't understand what he was saying.

"That's why." Anthony smiled. "I think students shouldn't be distracted by too many things when they are preparing for their OWLs..."

"Oh my God, Professor Anthony, you don't have to worry about this at all." Umbridge said in a little girl's voice, "Just go to class as usual, just pretend I don't exist."

"That's very difficult," Anthony said honestly. "Let me put it this way, even if I could pretend you didn't exist (Umbridge's eyebrows raised), it would be hard for the students to ignore you. They're preparing hard for their first important exam, and I'd hate to see them get sidetracked by unnecessary investigation."

Umbridge's eyebrows almost flew into her green bow-tied hair. Anthony soothed, "This is not personal, Ms. Umbridge. If it was - for example - uh, Professor Lockhart, or Professor Snape, or even Professor Dumbledore...if they wanted to suddenly show up in my fifth-year class without a good reason, I would refuse."

"Perhaps I didn't make myself clear," said Umbridge sweetly. "The High Inquisitor's inquiry cannot be refused. This is just a polite notice, Professor Anthony. See you this afternoon."

Anthony looked around. There was no one else around. Most of the students were in their classrooms, and those who remained didn't bother to wander the corridors leading to the library - and even if they did, Anthony suspected they would have ducked out of sight of Umbridge.

"I admit that I am not good at dealing with unwanted guests, Ms. Umbridge," he whispered, "but I do have a way of keeping them away."

Umbridge stared at him.

"I've heard there's a kind of archetype to wizard Muggle-Repelling Charms," ​​Anthony suggested, resisting the urge to blink like Lockhart.

He could see Umbridge staring at him blankly for a while, then her face suddenly turned pale, obviously remembering the scene when they first met. However, her face immediately turned blue because of rage: "How dare you..."

"If you like, you can come to my class tomorrow morning," Anthony said quickly. "We're going to talk about how Muggles use tap water and water purification systems. I personally think it's quite interesting."

Umbridge's lips moved as if she were chewing something and refusing to spit it out. Finally, she just said, "Very good, then. Very good."

...After Umbridge disappeared at the end of the corridor in a rage, Anthony went to the library to return the book to Madam Pince and then returned to his office.

He was a little worried that he had gone too far, but he did think that the students had enough to worry about at this time without burdening them with such boring, adult things. Besides, Professor Burbage had complained to him about how many rude questions Umbridge asked in her class.

"She said that as my friend - ha, friend, I have never heard a more ridiculous lie than this - as my friend, she wanted to kindly remind me that in this day and age, quote, 'it is unnecessary to know people who don't even believe in magic,'" Professor Bubbage said angrily at the time. "You should all have seen the skeptical look on her face when she asked the students what they learned in class! I bet it was because I refuted her in the Ministry the day before yesterday!"

Anthony shook his head, threw Professor Bubaji's fast-talking complaints out of his mind, and lowered his head to continue preparing for class.

He had already organised two review sessions, ensuring that most students had mastered the basics of British Muggle dress and public transport ("Fare evasion is common? Correct, two points for Ravenclaw, but don't do it - I'm giving you points for your knowledge of Muggles, sir, not for this behaviour.") and British Muggle currency ("I heard they're considering a fine. Could be a few pounds, could be hundreds... who remembers how to convert pounds to Galleons?").

He waved his wand, and a pile of parchments with past OWLs exam questions in front of him immediately flew up, folding and listing all the questions related to these parts in front of him. This was a small spell Daniel taught him, mainly used to find books on a certain subject for customers in the bookstore who could not describe it clearly.

Daniel told him that it had once been one of the required spells in Hogwarts Charms classes. Anthony initially wondered why this useful spell was no longer in the Standard Book of Spells, but he soon realized how many students chose to use it instead of their own brains when writing essays - not that they used much brains at all these days.

However, Daniel explained that people soon discovered that its main use became to find those less elegant words in the vast library collection, so that students could curse at the librarian silently behind his back.

Anthony believes that the spell was probably invented one night, full of the sound of violently flipping through books, when a gifted wizard needed to do some literature research (or prepare to write a review). For its inventor and Miranda Goshawk, the compiler of "The Standard Book of Spells", it was probably as surprising to discover how far people's creativity could extend the application of spells as it was for Muggle studies scholars in the 18th century to discover that people were still using their textbooks two hundred years later.

The Muggle Studies question setting team at the Wizarding Examinations Authority must have grown frustrated after many OWLs before deciding to set questions based on the level of the students rather than Muggle society.

The year after "Explain the advantages of paper money over coins and briefly explain why British wizards do not use paper money", the topic became "List the types and denominations of currency currently used by British Muggles, and describe how to convert them", followed by "Convert five pounds into roughly equivalent wizard currency and simply compare their purchasing power in daily life", and then became "Why is it difficult for Irish leprechaun gold coin scammers to target Muggles", until it became "Who is the person printed on the front of British Muggle currency (pictured below)".

Anthony unfolded it slightly, and the long paper roll immediately fell onto the table, then unfolded along the edge of the table and rolled to the ground. The picture accompanying the title was a ten-pound photo, in which the Queen was staring at the little wizards who didn't know her in the frame. On one side of the photo, a hand hastily and deliberately covered the word "EIIR" next to the Queen's portrait, but Anthony doubted how many students could understand this hint.

Anthony's thoughts were interrupted by his cat, who crept over to him, then leaped up and pounced on a piece of parchment hanging in the air and swaying slightly. Anthony smiled, bent down, lifted the cat onto his lap, and freed the parchment from between its claws.

"I'll need them this afternoon, cat." He rubbed the cat's head. "Speaking of which, do you think these parchments are real sheepskin? Where do wizards keep their sheep?"

The cat raised its head, hugged his wrist, and tried to bite his fingers.

"What about the sheep they feed the dragons? Surely they didn't just steal a few from Muggle farms in the middle of the night?" Anthony said. "It's incredible that there is so much magic in the world and the earth is still moving around the sun."

The cat finally caught Anthony's index finger and began to chew it with interest. Anthony let it chew, thinking about what would happen if one day all Muggles disappeared from the lives of wizards. For example, Muggles suddenly discovered a way to migrate to Mars and decided to move collectively, but because of the Statute of Secrecy or something like that, they completely forgot to inform wizards... At that time, how would wizards live? Would they realize that Muggles were missing? Would Squibs become the new Muggles?

Is there magic on Mars?

He had lived among wizards for more than a year, and there were still many curiosities and stupid questions piled up in the corners of his mind, ready to rush out as soon as he opened the door.

"I wish there was a Wizarding Studies course," Anthony mused. "I'd be happy to take it for O-level." (Note 1)

Note 1: O-levels are basically the muggle version of OWLs in the UK. Our story takes place roughly at the time when GCSEs are gradually replacing O-levels and CSEs.

(End of this chapter)