rich concubine

Chapter 1068 Rong Yi’s inner thoughts
Perhaps being infected by Chang Qing's emotions, Rong Yi also became a little sentimental when talking about this.

She once hated herself for having such emotions. She felt that she could no longer see the light in her eyes, and was only immersed in all the darkness and emptiness in the past. She hated herself like this, but she couldn't escape.

At this point, she paused, took a breath, and then said: "In terms of family background, you are the daughter of the eldest family and are born noble, but I am just the daughter of an ordinary family. There is nothing between you and me. Comparability, I should be envious of you."

Changqing looked at Rong Yi with deep eyes and many emotions that Rong Yi couldn't understand.

She really wanted to ask, "Why are you looking at me like that?" But she was afraid that she was worrying too much, or maybe she was just in a bad mood, so she suppressed the conversation and said, "If you think I'm good at the moment, I will naturally He also thinks I am good, but after all, I still have regrets. You probably know everything about him and me, but there are many things you don’t know. There is an indescribable debt between him and me, although He and I both have two children, and now I have another one in my belly. But at the beginning, I had no emotion or dependence on him, only fear, deep fear. I was afraid of his power and position, and I was afraid of him. He is domineering and strong, and I am even more afraid that I will have no freedom around him and cannot see the future. I am afraid that I will ruin my life..."

Changqing looked at her quietly and listened to her say: "He is very good to me, but he is also very bad when he is bad. He will force me, regardless of my wishes... Because of his strength and domineering, at the beginning I didn't like him, but I had to give in. He was a general, so what could I do if I didn't like him? At that time, no one could save me, and even I was confused. Later, someone After having the baby, I gave up. I knew I couldn’t leave no matter what. You don’t know how much I attached myself to my family. Even though I had no feelings for him at the time, I still loved the baby in my belly. , I look forward to them being born and growing up. This feeling is wonderful. It is conceivable that one step of concession and one soft-heartedness will leave many steps and escape paths for myself in the future. When I begin to slowly accept This fact, when I stay with him An Xin, I know that not only can I not be separated from him, but maybe one day, I will be moved by him, and I will fall in love with him wholeheartedly because of his meticulous care and love."

Changqing was speechless for a long time, but she listened, looked at the indifferent expression on Rong Yi's face, and listened to her tell her innermost thoughts.

"What you envy is just what you see of me. You think I am living a good life now, but you don't know how much suffering I have endured in my heart. How long did it take me to convince myself to accept such a result? I am not a person with a high heart. But I also have my own backbone and my own principles, but after meeting him, all these backbone and principles disappeared."

"..."

"If there is a choice, who would leave a good lady to become a concubine? I have no choice. I have never had a choice. I want to be willful and do nothing. I don't care about anything. I am selfish. , but I don’t know how to convince myself to be selfish, how can I be selfish when there are so many ties around me?”

She has a strong character, but she is always a little woman. She keeps a lot of her depression in her heart and never tells others. Therefore, in the eyes of others, she always has an indifferent attitude and everything is fine. Who can understand her depression?

……

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(End of this chapter)