It's a diary

Chapter 10 Chirp

Oops, the chapter I wrote yesterday is locked.Maybe it's still too negative. (Actually, no! I just talked about what happened in the past!)
I just clicked on it and tentatively deleted some words and phrases that were a little inappropriate.I don't know if it can be solved.

But I really think yesterday’s article was quite positive.

People go through all kinds of hardships and hardships, then walk out of the house, and then live alone away from their hometown... This is obviously very inspiring.I don't understand why it was blocked.

During the flag raising today, I saw many young teachers with fashionable clothes and fresh faces. At that time, I thought they might be interns.

The facts are as expected, indeed.

I saw a trainee teacher communicating with the students in the next class who had their class cards, and I felt a little strange: Huh? Where did their old class go? Thinking of my teacher who was sent away by the school to go on a business trip, he probably also went on a business trip.

It could not be better.

The old classmate next door is my physical education teacher.What I dislike the most is physical education class!I don't like to move, I'm a lazy person.

(I don’t hate that teacher, and I don’t have any prejudice. It’s just because of my health and my laziness that I can’t attend class normally because I don’t want to.)
However, he did not travel.Wuwuwuwuwuwu, I see him.So, I still have to take physical education class in the afternoon.

I don't object to any class, but I don't want to stand, it's too tiring.Tsk.

My daily life is actually quite simple and ordinary. If I wanted to write, I wouldn't be able to write any words.

My biological clock wakes me up on time, and then I slowly start to wash myself. (I don’t know why, but I can always grind for about 10 minutes while brushing my teeth and washing my face, so that counts as taking my time)

As for breakfast, I hardly eat it. I can’t get up so early to go to the canteen to cook.Also, the dining hall is really far away.

Sometimes it's to buy a sandwich, sometimes it's toast with yogurt, and sometimes it's to find an apple to chew on...otherwise, it's to eat a candy and lie down. (xFuji’s mints are so good and worth trying!)
My class schedule is pretty normal, but we almost don’t have breaks, so I can run around and eat around [-] o’clock.

It was really comfortable to spend time in the computer lab, and I don’t necessarily regret choosing this major at all.

In the morning, I tried to install the server (? I guess it’s the name, I can’t remember it. Although I’m a bit clueless because I can’t remember the name, I’m one of the few people who has completed the installation.)
But but but!

The binary, octal, decimal, and hexadecimal systems are still a bit confusing to me.Dizzy, I seem to understand, but I don’t seem to understand.It seems that if I have time, I still want to look for teaching videos and consolidate them.

The teacher was so nice that he let us go to dinner after class early.I took the books back to the dormitory and put them away before going to the canteen. I didn’t even have to line up and had a meal.

My head hurts a little now. I don't know if it's because of the messy and confusing system or what.

I don't do anything, and I don't want to do anything.I just wanted to talk nonsense, but I was too lazy to open my mouth, so I kept typing to let you know.

After arriving in Qingzhou, I slowly discovered that my health seemed to be getting worse.

What is the smell of somking in No. 16 and No. [-]? Sister No. [-] turned on the air conditioner at [-]℃ for four or five days in a row? Or is she just acclimatized?
Maybe it's just my psychology.

Maybe it's also because I'm overly sensitive and cautious in everything, and I'm cautious about every step of the way.

As far as I can tell for sure, there must be some acclimatization.

On the first day after the military training, my neck turned red.The next day, redness and itching.On the third day, I disinfected with alcohol and then applied the antibacterial ointment brought from Beiyu.It hurts a lot, like pouring salt water on a wound.

It was still the same on the fourth day, but on the fifth day there were many dense and small scars.

I went back to Beiyu that day.My mother insisted that I was allergic.I don’t understand either, who knows.

She asked me to go to the hospital for a checkup. I slept and wandered around every day, but in the end I didn't make it.

But on the last day in Beiyu, the scars on my neck began to slowly fall off naturally.The day after returning to Qingzhou, it was all over.

I thought it would just go away, but a few days later, my collarbone started to turn red again.

I learned smarter this time and applied ointment whenever it was red and itchy, so I haven't seen any improvement for the time being.

So much the better.

Still not working, sleepy.I'll post it in the afternoon after I wake up and finish class.

I can’t figure it out, tsk.

Changed it again.Wait, wait until the time is up, and then apply.

Physical education class, it feels like that.The teacher is very good and very relaxed.Now, I can touch my cell phone now.

Still can't like it.Running and jumping is not for me.I don’t understand whether there are any forbidden words or the content is too negative, so I locked the previous chapter.I will slowly try to change those words, but if I really can’t understand them, I won’t bother.After all, I seem to be writing these journals just to record these boring days.

Looking back, those few years were indeed very difficult, and just thinking about them makes me cringe.

But in the next few years, I lived well.

I found a way to live that suits me best.

At first it was just all kinds of nonsensical ideas, then it was trying, then it was adapting, and finally now...

As it turns out, that lifestyle really works for me.

Try to strike up conversations with strangers, sit in a milk tea shop and read books carefully, listen to the wind and birdsong on a bench in the park, drink a cup of coffee from time to time, and pick a flower from the flower shop on the corner of the street at night The flowers that meet my eyes...

I read more and more books, and I share them more and more with some of my close friends who are out of town.

After that, sending letters and writing became a good way of communication between us.

Since this year, I have been buying flowers more and more often. Every week I step into the flower shop to pick the flowers I like.

Rain or shine.

Then, I bought a second-hand CCD and tried to record the blue sky and white clouds.Just because of an accident that I don't know how to describe yet, I could only put down the camera in despair.

I tried to comfort myself, "It's okay. The pixels of the CCD are only about the same as those of a mobile phone."

But, why is nothing wrong?

In the last half year of that middle school, I almost lost everything. ——This is a period worth recalling, but not a very good one. ——The same as the year before I dropped out of school, it was beautiful enough, but also dangerous enough.

So, in the first half of the year, I stopped trying to pursue anything.

All I want is that I want to be happy and live healthily.

I lived a really happy life in the first half of the year.I go to see the sea every day, and I try my best to have fun every day.

I seem to be a pessimist, and I noticed early on that there was a breath of parting mixed in the air.

So I wrote farewell letters to my teachers despite feeling very sleepy.

Forgive me for being timid, but in the end I only dared to let the hippopotamus be delivered to those teachers.

But it was the moment when those letters were handed over that a not-so-good life ended as I thought.

Because I took the most critical and courageous step, even now, I still don’t feel any regrets.

As I said in the letter: "It's just a pity that my autumn memories are not complete, so I wrote this letter."

Now, did it.

In a letter to another teacher, I said this: "By then, the wind that I hate now may become unattainable. So, summer ended with me falling asleep again and again. It’s over. Summer is over and I’m leaving.”

Did it too...

Everything I said was done.

I just haven't gotten what I want yet.

I want love, I want to be liked, I want to be with you... even though I can't realize it, I can't feel it, I'm too stupid.

It's hard for people to like a fool.

I don’t necessarily want those illusory things. Now, without those, I am moving forward bravely.

I just feel that if, if I had those, I might be able to be more relaxed and bolder...

Forget it, let's rely on ourselves.

(End of this chapter)