It's a diary

Chapter 195 9.15
Just woke up, doing this and that.It's very quiet tonight. I like it. I hate all noisy places.

It's easier to fall asleep if it's quiet.

Drowsily, I lay there for a while, but couldn't sleep.I got up and checked Weibo, Taobao, listened to music, and sat by the bed in a daze.

I told the classmate at the front desk this afternoon: "I regret it so much. I should go back this week."

He smiled and said, "Then you will regret it slowly. I will go back first!"

It's actually okay, it's not that exaggerated.

They seem to be the same everywhere. The older I get, the more I feel like they are the same everywhere.

The world is so big, but there seems to be no place for me to stay.

It seems to be far away from everything.

I may not be doing anything serious, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, I only live this once anyway, why do I have to make myself so sad and live so hard.

I really want to find someone to say something to.

But considering that they were already busy, I was too embarrassed to bother them.Considering that they are also under a lot of pressure, I dare not tell them these bad things.

Tell it to yourself?

This is not necessary.

Anyone who wants to can watch it.

This is just a very ordinary person's life.maybe.

Ordinary, extraordinary.How should it be defined?

Sometimes I just want to drive myself crazy for no reason.

I want to scream hysterically, I want to push the things on the table to the ground... I can't do it.

Now it seems all I can do is sit quietly.

like a tree.

Reminds me of the year I took a break from school.

On the day we went through the formalities, the sun was very bright and it was early September.

I don't quite remember whether it was out of fear or disgust that I didn't go into the school to sign.

Maybe I remember it, no, I just remember it, but I don’t really want to admit it.

That day I ate a bowl of Guilin rice noodles at a noodle shop just outside the traffic light from the school.I don’t remember much about the taste. It’s not as delicious as the one next to my Beiyu Station.

Then I turned into a tree.

Take root in the room, at home, in Beiyu.

always……

I walked out of my room, out of my house, and stopped going to the hospital.

Try to socialize, try to contact all kinds of different people, try to slowly open your eyes to see the shape of light through your fingers.

I often go watch the sunset, in different places.Sometimes it's on the mountain, sometimes it's on the rocks of the sea at the foot of the mountain, sometimes it's this sea or that sea.I went to many places, but it was only limited to Beiyu.

I didn't think about anything, I thought this would be fine.

Actually, it's not good at all, I know that.

I was very scared and wanted to leave the city.

It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that I wanted to, get out.

It doesn't matter where you go, as long as you can get out.

I know that as long as I can leave Beiyu once, I can leave countless times.

I watched the sunset on Beiyu for many days, like a tree.Lonely, quiet, unable to leave.

Then I left Beiyu.

Is it a win?
should be.

Congratulations, finally, you got what you wanted.

After that, just as I thought, I went to farther places and saw more different scenery.

And I have already thought about where I should go next time.

When I came here, I became like a tree again.

Perhaps, humans are essentially a tree.As strong and vigorous as a tree.

Maybe, it's just an illusion, my own.

Last September, I went to an ancient building, which could be regarded as the former residence of a great man.

As Friday approaches, I start to worry about where to go.

I originally planned to go hiking in the next city, but it rained and I couldn't go.

There are also mountains near the city.It’s just that the transportation is not that convenient, and the weather is bad, not suitable for mountain climbing, and you can’t see the sea of ​​clouds.

Think about it.

When I looked at the rain outside the window this morning, I suddenly thought of that old residence.

All the memories about it were brought back. That big backyard is my favorite.

I remember that when I went there last year, the first thing I saw was a perfectly blooming flower.Red, I don’t know what kind of flower it is.

This is the first attraction I visited in this city.

I was very happy and excited at that time.

Hopefully, I will be like this tomorrow too.

It should be possible. Now that I think about it, I can't help but raise the corners of my mouth.

good night!

(End of this chapter)