The queen is charming, but powerful ministers lure her to seize power and usurp the throne

Chapter 220 Su Qiongan

1. Heaven and earth

Hong'er often advises me that I should go out and walk more when I'm pregnant.

There wasn't much concern in her eyes as she spoke.

Sometimes, what you see with your eyes may not be true, and words can also disguise it, but your intuition will not lie.

When I looked at Hong'er, I felt like I was looking into a mirror. In the mirror, I could see the good times in the past and see flowers falling all over Nanshan.

The human world is not prosperous, but lonely.

Why have you been staying in Yangxin Pavilion? Why not go for a walk?
If this is the East Palace, I think Hong'er should also know its taste.

When there was no one around, she often mentioned the past to me. At that time, she was still in the East Palace, and her name was Hongxiu—the most trusted maid of the prince.

She said, "You were like this when you first entered the East Palace. You were reluctant to go out to meet people."

I said, "It's different. When I first entered the East Palace, I thought I was too shameless to see anyone. I thought it would be better to just die in that corner, with no one thinking about me or caring about me."

She smiled a little meanly and asked, "Do you feel ashamed to see others now?"

I didn't find it offensive. This was the first time I saw her with this sharp and scrutinizing gaze.

"I don't feel that I am shameless," I said. "He told me that my face is never in other people's mouths, but in the heart of my lover."

Hongxiu knows who I'm talking about.

So she didn't speak anymore, just stood quietly behind me, as if she could stand forever.

I wrapped myself in a thin blanket and let my mind wander.

I know that many people think that I am hiding in Yangxin Pavilion because I am too shameless to see people, and because I am afraid that people will harm the dragon child in my belly.

On the day I came out of the cold palace, I met the palace where I had been separated for half a year.

Under the warm sunshine, with high eaves and carved jade railings, it is the palace of power and wealth that people yearn for.

It was also the three years of tender love between me and him.

When I was being held hostage and walked through that familiar corridor, I heard his footsteps coming from behind, like a dream.

I know, I know, he won't show up again.

I watched with my own eyes as shovelfuls of soil fell into a semicircular mound.

But I still looked back and saw that the corridor was empty, not even the spring breeze was making waves.

He pushed me back to the human world, and I was carried forward. Of course, I walked a few steps on my own.

This prosperous palace, everywhere I see is him.

He hurried down the corridor.

He roamed the pavilions with his hands behind his back.

He pointed to the palace and said he had lived there when he was a child.

There are also butterflies that we swooped at and let go together.

It's nothing more than that, things and people are not the same.

2. Who to live for?
Five years ago, Fu Rong left Beijing. My family and I forced each other and begged each other.

My brother slapped me, "Su Qiong'an, don't forget, you are not only Fu Rong's fiancée, you are also the daughter of the Su family and my sister!"

He asked me, "What right do you have to involve the entire Su family for him? Why should you, for him, make your father and mother lose the apple of their eye, and make me lose the sister I have loved since childhood?"

I was speechless and could only cry. After crying, I obeyed and entered the East Palace.

I never thought that I would fall in love with Prince Fu Cong.

I even thought that he would definitely dislike me. In this way, I have fulfilled my responsibility as a daughter of the Su family, and I am not wronging Fu Rong.

Best, let me destroy myself, best, best, rot alone.

I remember that when Fu Cong lifted his hijab, he smiled at first, then said nothing and carefully handed the veil into my hand. He said, 'Your eyes will hurt if you cry for a long time. '

After becoming a princess, my life was not very prosperous.

When a torn piece of clothing is worn by someone, walking in the sun, standing in the spotlight. People will pay more attention to the hole, and they will look at you with pity. When you turn your back to them, you can hear the faint laughter.

Those words made me feel uncomfortable, but on the other hand, I felt they were right.

Fu Cong walked into the crowd and took my hand. He, who had always been gentle, looked annoyed and started arguing with a group of ladies.

He said, "No matter who you pretend to be in your heart, your face is my face. Husband and wife are one and the same, An'an."

There was a time when I was so sick that I almost died. My brother brought my mother to see me. When we left, my mother was crying like a tear. My brother didn't scold me anymore. He said, "If you are really in such pain, I won't stop you."

Just like countless childhood play, they always ended with the elder brother giving in and being tolerant.

I thought that this was the end of it.

But Fu Cong rushed in. These days, he has been a lot haggard because of my illness.

He said, "When will you understand that your life is not used to commemorate the so-called love and loyalty. If you like him, I won't stop you, but do you have to punish yourself and exile yourself for him?"

He also said, "Whether he marries you or not, he will die. I marry you not entirely because of your father and brother."

I just want to sleep forever and no longer have the energy to care about what he said.

But when Fu Cong became stubborn, I felt ashamed.

I couldn't drink the medicine, so he had to drink it for me; when I lay in bed waiting to die, he would drag me out to bask in the sun every day; when I didn't speak, he kept talking. What was hateful was that when he had finished talking, I'll repeat what I said again. Sometimes, I get so angry at him that I can't help but get angry at him, but he laughs.

3. The warm sunshine of spring

Fu Cong was so annoying that he drove away all my illnesses.

If you see the sun for a long time, you will always be greedy for it.

Due to the previous reason, Fu Cong suffered from the root cause of the disease - he couldn't stop talking.

No matter how self-restrained and polite he is outside, when he sees me, he can't stop talking.

Which minister is a stubborn old man, who has a new son in his family, and flowers are blooming somewhere. Even if the latest jewelry is good-looking or not, he would like to comment on these women's homes.

Later I realized that he kept telling me trivial things in the world in the hope that I would have a yearning and heartbeat at some point and no longer close myself off.

Thanks to him, even if I haven't been out for a long time, I can still chat with my old acquaintances for a few hours when I meet them. They marveled, "Although the Crown Princess lives in seclusion, she knows so much about what's going on outside." Later, he not only talked about it, but also took me with him wherever he went.

My playful temperament in the past was aroused by him.

The sun became brighter.

The words he said and the look in his eyes gradually became clear to me at some point, and I remembered them in my heart without realizing it.

Regardless of whether there were regrets yesterday or whether there will be wind or rain tomorrow, if the weather is fine today, we can go out together for a spring outing.

4. Why not die?

It's interesting to say that when Fu Rong leaves Beijing, I will die or live.

Now, all the relatives and friends are dead, and the nine clans have been wiped out, but they are still alive.

Fu Cong said, "As long as he doesn't kill you, you will live."

I agreed.

Living is not entirely because of this.

In this world, there are people who sacrifice themselves for their country, there are people who seek another way of life, there are people who would rather die than surrender, and there are people who are able to bend and stretch.

Goodbye Fu Rong, he loves me, but he doesn’t love me.

To be precise, he loved me who was his fiancée five years ago.

However, he has changed, and so have I.

He obviously didn't realize that he was deceiving himself and I was deceiving him.

Playing a past self is not difficult at all.

Sometimes, I can fool myself.

Get a new life, live well, continue to bask in the sun and watch the flowers bloom.

When Fu Rong asked me to change my name and identity, I chose to expose myself.

I don’t think my past experiences are a shame or a stain. The three words "Su Qiong'an" carry a lot, so I want to show it openly and don't want to hide it.

5. Wandering repeatedly

What people say makes sense, but it is difficult to do it.

Sometimes I feel sad, for my family, for Fu Cong, and for the vanished yesterday.

Like a ghost abandoned in the world.

In this life, I was originally a widow. I laugh at myself so much.

It seems that the longer you live, the hazier things in the world become.

Just like Hong'er told me, she was left in the world by Fu Cong to take care of me.

When I was in the East Palace, Hong Xiu was disrespectful to me and was expelled by Fu Cong. Why would I let her take care of me?
However, I still believed Hong'er's words and kept her by my side.

Like Fu Rong, I deceive myself, and she deceives me.

I can play the role of a demon concubine very well and summon Fu Rong back from various palaces. Think about it, it’s also fun.

Sometimes, I also try to do what Fu Cong said, let go of the past, live a good life, and continue to love this world.

This is really difficult.

I could trick myself into loving Fu Rong again, but I could never really love him. I couldn't concentrate and just fell into his arms. I could clearly see his resentment and desolation at a certain moment.

Fu Rong deceived himself into loving me, and I deceived myself into loving him. In this respect, we are quite a match.

In fact, I still hate Fu Rong - he killed everyone I loved.

6. It’s better to go back

Hong'er thinks very much about me, she is a loyal person.

She said that there were so many beauties in the harem, not to mention that the Queen regained her favor and added Concubine An. This Concubine An seemed to be a sign that the emperor did not value me very much.

After all, aren’t Concubine An and Mrs. An in conflict?
To love someone is to want them to be special all the time.

When I was the queen, there was no such thing as Mrs. An, Meiren An, or Concubine An in the Sixth Palace.

Because I am the only one in the harem. Because of this, Fu Cong was so angry in the court.

You see, those who love you will go through all kinds of difficulties so that they won’t mind the trouble and inconvenience.

Looking at it this way, Fu Rong's love for Mrs. An is really not enough.

I followed Hong'er's guidance and began to worry about the rest of my life.

She is truly loyal.

Give me a clever plan - let the emperor cut off his descendants.

How wonderful indeed!

I didn't take the opportunity to retaliate against Fu Rong. I could just tell Fu Cong that I was protecting myself, not taking revenge. I had already let go of the past.

Hong'er thought I didn't know, but actually I did.

I quietly wait for that day to come.

I can lie to myself that I love Fu Rong and am afraid of losing his love, and I can also play the hysterical role of a demon concubine well.

If, if, Fu Cong could really turn into the wind and see things in the world. If he wants to scold me, I can argue with reason.

But let me meet him first.

This time, I did not abandon myself, I just wanted to go back.

This is an extra I've always wanted to write.

Obviously, I interrupted the original story. It's not good to insert a paragraph.

But today, I felt it inexplicably.

It can be regarded as my explanation to her.