i'm not a bad man

Chapter 420 What a bastard

On a bench on the street, Qiao Jiao and I were sitting side by side. She put her hand on my leg. Although she was intimate, she didn't make any further movements. I just looked at her like this, and I obviously felt that I was in love with her. There is restraint.

After they were quiet for a moment, Qiao Jiao spoke to me first: "Can you tell me how you felt when you were with Lu Xi and suddenly saw me coming back?...Don't talk perfunctoryly with me or say anything. The mood is very complicated, but in fact it is really not that complicated. If you are happy, you are happy, if you are unhappy, you are unhappy... There is no way to go against your will in emotional matters."

"Happy, very happy!"

Qiao smiled delicately: "You're not really thinking about trying to play both sides between us, are you?"

"I didn't have any ulterior motives... I just felt very complicated!" After a short pause, I lit another cigarette and said, "But I met you almost at the same time, just like White Rose. And red roses... When these two roses grow in your heart at the same time, you really have no way to favor one over the other, and you have no way to weigh the pros and cons. All you have is the sadness of losing one of them... because you will definitely lose it in the end. Just like you said, maybe you will all leave me... I am not complicated, I just like whoever I like. What is complicated is this situation and the emotional ties."

"Come on, what man doesn't like hugging? It's just that there is no soil for wives and concubines now, so those who are in love will cheat, and those who are married will cheat. It's not because of the bad nature and dissatisfaction in their bones."

I looked at Qiao Jiao, unable to explain for a moment, because what she was talking about was a social phenomenon. It was quite pale to talk about myself alone without this phenomenon, especially in this situation.

At this time, Qiao Jiao lowered her voice and said to me: "No matter what the final outcome is, Lu Xi and I will never fight for a man. Our family education and friendship do not allow us to do this... So, That’s why we made such a seemingly absurd decision to have a threesome... But then again, if this threesome had been placed half a year ago, it would have been something worth looking forward to... because neither Lu Xi nor I are really far away. OK, but you are an old traveler. With you taking us, and having you as our guide, we must be very happy walking and stopping along the way, eating and drinking... Anyway, no matter what, don't talk about this damn emotion... … Half a year ago, everyone was just friends, right?”

"Yes, we were all just friends at that time."

Qiao Jiao was a little confused and struggling, so I was the same, so after I finished smoking a cigarette, I immediately refilled my cigarette.

"Han Chao, can you tell me how you felt when you were looking for Luxi on that winding mountain road? And what were you thinking about when you were about to fall off the cliff?... I think this is a very important point. The turning point, I understand Lu Xi, must be after that incident, she changed her mind... Because at that time, you already had the uniqueness in her heart, and it also formed a distinct relationship between you and Yang Yiming Contrast... Yang Yiming only gave her a promise that she couldn't fulfill, but you can risk everything for her... She is a woman with high spiritual requirements for relationships, so this kind of reckless giving is very important to her. , is something that can be met but not sought.”

After a moment of silence, I replied: "I don't want to describe my feelings at that time. I just want to tell you that if it were you, I would do the same thing...really!"

Qiao Jiao had a look of helplessness on her face, and after a long while she replied in frustration: "So, you still kicked this problem to us like a ball... What a bastard!"

I didn't know how to look at Qiao Jiao with my eyes, so I turned my head and took another long puff of cigarette.

……

Qiao Jiao left before me and went back to the hotel. Although she didn't say anything more to me, I could feel the unhappiness in her heart. In addition to the unhappiness, I also felt that there was a hint of retreat in her heart. , so she specifically asked me about the incident when I almost fell off a cliff on the winding mountain road. She felt that compared to Luxi, I couldn't give her such dedication. When the relationship between three people shows the phenomenon of favoring one over the other, the one who quits must be The one who was treated lightly.

But I didn't lie to her. If it were her, I would be just as desperate. …

I can’t remember which cigarette this was this night. Anyway, I lit it up, and then I lost my mind while looking at the scrap collection station...

Three days later, I still haven’t waited for my dad. Looking at the snowflakes in the sky and the snow on the ground, I obviously feel that my expectations are rapidly lowering. Maybe Zhai Nuo is wrong, or he I only come to this scrap collection station once in a while; I won’t make assumptions about the former possibility. If it is the latter, do I really want to bet here that this is only an occasional possibility?

I had a slight intention to give up, but thinking about how much older he looked and the hard work of buying and selling scraps, I restrained my intention to give up; and isn't this another kind of emotional tie?
Therefore, throughout our lives, we will be tied up by various emotions; I suddenly became afraid of establishing that kind of inseparable relationship, because for me, it was the source of pain and the tightening of my emotions. After all, life will eventually be harvested, so these emotions will also come to an end. If I are surrounded by close friends, lovers who can’t let go, and family ties that can’t be let go, I have to endure it. How many times has this pain occurred? …

I have already endured this kind of pain, Luan Yu did.

I can never see her again, she can only live in my memory.

It was at this time that I suddenly realized that the situation in front of me was really not good. I would eventually lose one of Lu Xi and Qiao Jiao. Although it was a separation of life, it was not as painful as a farewell of death. It's even worse.

But this is life, there is never an absolutely perfect choice, and regrets will eventually accompany everyone's life.

…(Han Chao and Lu Xi are getting married? Search and follow the author’s personal satellite number: *** to view the latest chapters.)
I put out the cigarette in my hand, and before leaving, I subconsciously looked up and looked wherever I could see. The carnival at 12 o'clock was over, and the street was deserted again. There were almost no pedestrians, only some occasional vehicles. Driving by, I don’t know where they are going on such a New Year’s Eve...

It seems that in this world, there are always some phenomena and behaviors that you cannot understand.I feel that there shouldn’t be wandering people on this street. After all, this is New Year’s Eve, a day for family reunions. It’s already late at night. Where are these people going? Where else can they go?

……

In a trance, a figure appeared in my sight. He was a little stooped, a little lonely, a little depressed, but between his eyebrows and eyes, he was [-]% similar to me. He was walking in the snow, aimlessly...

I was stunned. After four years, I finally met this man who gave me a happy life and also drove me to almost no way out.

He was walking on this empty street just after midnight. He didn't seem to belong and didn't know where to go.

The corners of my mouth kept trembling, and after a long, long time, I shouted "Dad" with all my strength to that figure!
(End of this chapter)