i'm not a bad man

Chapter 453 A senseless relationship

When the word Chengquan appeared in my mind, I inexplicably thought of the 150 million that Qiao Jiao left on my card. This 150 million was obtained by selling her game account. Her buyer was a game player named Qiao Er's rich second generation; that day, Qiao Er and I met downstairs in the hotel. Qiao Er expressed his love for Qiao Jiao without any hesitation and asked me to be nice to Qiao Jiao.

I promised at that time that I would be kind to Qiao Jiao and do my best.

This is good, how should we understand it?
I fell into deep thinking and didn't get the answer, but my mind was filled with the past that happened between me and Qiao Jiao: she used 600 million in cash to make a bed, and she sat in the pile of money and looked at me; and, The place she called the Mirror Room contained countless mirrors. That night, she told me very seriously that it was the place where her soul resided.

These two scenes represent the ultimate in money and spirit respectively. She made me realize both of them, and then formed an extremely real her in my heart, and a she who has no reservations.

I don’t know what it feels like to fulfill someone, but if I put myself into Qiao Jiao’s world and think of those fearless and unreserved sacrifices, I will feel exhausted, extremely disappointed, and terminally ill. In this state, It's almost like waiting to die.

After all, I didn’t give her that “good” thing, and I didn’t try my best.

This made me a little panicked...and then it was like a flood that broke the dam and became more and more out of control.

I shouldn't have been awake at this night, but I couldn't control my spirit. I would think of Qiao Jiao because of some details. If there was love between us, how should we define this love?
I don't have the guts to define it, because all I see is the cruelty of giving hope and then killing it with a knife.

And this is what I did to Qiao Jiao. In the world of love, I seem to have become a wallflower with no principles, no bottom line, no opinions, and no soul.

Or, I have always been this kind of person, so after experiencing so many emotions, I never achieved the right results, leaving only a mess on the ground and a group of broken hearts.

I looked down at myself reflected in the water, and a strong feeling of disgust suddenly emerged from the bottom of my heart, and I couldn't face the deer stream around me...

Just now, I also made a promise to her, saying that we would never be separated, even if we were on the run.

Perhaps, I had made similar promises to Luan Yu, Zhao Yingrou, and even Zuo Xiaowei...

It's just that after being eroded by time, I can't remember it.

Commitment is like an inevitable additive in love. The meaning of its existence is just to make the food delicious at that time.

……

Lu Xi had gone to bed, and I returned to my RV. Before I thought of Qiao Jiao, I certainly had the idea of ​​sleeping together; but when Qiao Jiao's figure lingered in my mind, I seemed to Being frozen, the desire is frozen, the vitality is frozen, and the sleep is frozen...

I was sitting in the passenger seat, watching the snow falling on the ground getting thicker and thicker...

My hands gradually became numb from the cold, so much so that I didn’t want to pick up the phone, let alone have any contact with the outside world through the phone.

Until, I remembered music. The most healing thing in this RV is to listen to music and look at the ever-changing scenery outside the window...

I finally picked up the phone that had been neglected for a long time. Before opening the music player, I found an unread message on WeChat.

This was sent by Qiao Jiao 10 minutes ago, but when I opened the dialog box, the message had been revoked.

I really want to know what she said to me, but the Internet says without exception that revoked information cannot be restored.

I didn't dare to ask her, so I stared at the canceled reminder over and over again... All I could think of was the scene where Qiao Jiao sent the message and then withdrew it. Regarding the content, I felt empty in my heart.

Or maybe, I don’t have to bother to guess at all, because when I switched the dialog box to the Moments page, I found that Qiao Jiao posted a Moments update 10 minutes ago. This update only had one photo, and in the photo was The two hands held together were wearing engagement diamond rings.

This time, I finally saw her post, and she finally married herself in this way. It was so fast that everyone couldn’t believe it. Therefore, some common friends left messages, and some even thought I was her. the other half.

I suddenly knew that the message that she withdrew was probably this photo. When she sent it to me, she suddenly felt that it was unnecessary, so she chose to withdraw it. Anyway, I had a chance to see it in the Moments update. .A nonsensical relationship starts with ambiguity and ends with ambiguity. In a moment of love, no contact is the best choice.

This is Ren Ran’s message on Qiao Jiao’s WeChat Moments. I don’t know who she is telling it to, but it is the best summary...

Blaming everything on nonsense, it seems that there won't be so much regret and pain.

However, I felt that she had a clear tendency. She seemed to be blaming Qiao Jiao, blaming her for getting married too quickly and leaving me with pain, so she was warning Qiao Jiao not to get involved with me again in the future.

This is Qiao Jiao, a woman I often call Sister Jiao. Even if I make mistakes, she will take responsibility for herself, for fear that others will not know that she gave up on me first and then had a flash marriage with another man...

This will lead to infamy.

She carried it in a way that told the world.

……

In the dead of night, Ren Ran, who was far away in Phuket, finally took the initiative to call me for the purpose of complaining.

I answered her call in an extremely depressed manner, and she was indeed very angry, so much so that she spoke much faster than usual: "Han Chao, did you see the post on Moments that Qiao Jiao just posted?... She is engaged to someone else. ?...I really crushed you and even trampled you under my feet!"

After pondering for a while, I asked: "There are only two hands in that photo. How do you know they are not mine?"

"Well...if you really plan to get married, you won't tell me in advance..."

"maybe."

I didn't deny Ren Ran's statement without reason, because before that, I had already thought about marrying Lu Xi, but I didn't call Ren Ran to tell him.

I don’t even want to say anything anymore, of course because I feel guilty and burdened...

My answer made Ren Ran have great self-doubt. After a while, he said: "Is it really you that she wants to marry?"

"No."

"Then what are you trying to do, aren't you willing to accept it?"

I am silent...

Ren Ran took my silence as an answer, and then said to me comfortingly: "Now that the matter has come to this, let's choose to get it done... After all, she is the woman you truly love..."

I remain silent, I am the one who is being perfected.

I don’t know what Renran’s motive was, but she played a song for me on her phone. This song turned out to be the song I sang in a bar, and she secretly recorded it.

"You try to break up as tactfully as possible, and I have to cooperate with you to smile as naturally as possible; I just can't see the person I love looking embarrassed. The hand you just held has a trace of warmth. I don't know if it will be enough to survive this night." , I watched you go away, standing for too long and feeling faintly tired... Let's leave, admit it, forget it, let it go... It's time to forgive, it's time to be free, don't think about it, don't stay... It's a pity that even me My heart is not obedient, and the poor injured love still wants to struggle; I am not afraid of pain, but my heart is true, fate is so short-lived, and people are so stupid... I drove and listened to music, wandering aimlessly, and saw that the street lights were all on, one after another. Light..."

I couldn't help but recall the scene when I sang this song. It was obviously me who was shouting the high notes at the top of my lungs, but in my mind, I saw Qiao Jiao driving a convertible, listening to this song, walking through the streets of a foreign country. , the flashing neon lights reflected on her face, she felt so lonely and struggling!
At this moment, I am her and she is me...

Although we had said we would do it seven times a night, we never succeeded, but at this moment, we merged in my heart. In such a way, she took on my faults, and I enjoyed the freedom of being fulfilled by her. You I am among you, and you are among me!
(End of this chapter)